Chapter 1

Regeneration and the Paradox

Everything hurt. Her head, her arms and legs and face, but she didn't know why. Something was wrong. She could feel it.

Rose Tyler's fingers weaved through the floor grating and it took all of her strength to push herself upwards. Everything was fuzzy and hot like wet cotton balls were stuck in her ears. Taking a deep breath, she leaned against a coral column in the TARDIS. She honestly didn't understand why coral of all things was used to build this thing, but who was she to judge?

Blinking slowly, her vision came into focus. The Doctor wasn't rushing around pressing buttons the way he usually was. He just stood there, this look of suppressed fear in those bright blue eyes of his. He stared at her and her heart skipped a beat.

Yes. Something was definitely wrong, but for the life of her, Rose couldn't remember what. She had a dim recognition of attempting to work the TARDIS back in 2006. Anger coursed through her as she came to a realization. He left her! He lied and sent her home like a little kid!

Whenever they finished solving this next problem, the Doctor was definitely getting a good shouting at. But right now something was seriously wrong and Rose Tyler wanted to fix it.

"I wanted to take you so many places, Rose. Barcelona? They've got dogs without noses! It's just fantastic there!" The Doctor turned away and tried to press a button, but his hands were shaking.

Rose was confused. She stretched her tired muscles and stood up straighter. "Let's go then."

A ghost of a smile lifted the Doctor's lips. "Maybe you will. Maybe I will…but not like this, not with this daft face." He tried to smile at her, but his anxiety leaked through. "This process is a big dodgy, you see? And all the Time Energy I absorbed isn't helping things."

Rose stepped forward. What was he talking about? "Doctor-"

Suddenly the Doctor jerked backwards, as if by an unseen force. A light flashed across his stomach and he covered it with his hands, "Don't!" He shouted, a hand warding her away. He clutched his middle, accidentally tearing the leather jacket he always wore.

Frightened by his tone, Rose automatically froze. "What- what's wrong? Let me help!"

He shook his close-shaved head. "No, no, Rose. Rose, you have to listen to me! Are you listening?"

He looked up at her and it was nearly impossible for Rose to resist the urge to race over and throw her arms around him. He was hurting and she could do nothing about it! This was no better than knowing that thousands of years in the future, he was dying.

"I- I'm listening," she choked.

The Doctor attempted to smile, something Rose loved him for. Here he was, obviously in pain, yet he tried to comfort her. "I absorbed Time Energy. No one's meant to do that…" He laughed humorlessly, "Every cell in my body is dying."

Rose's eyes widened. No. She wouldn't let that happen. "Isn't- isn't there something you can do?"

The Time Lord nodded rapidly. "I'm doing it." He grimaced. "You see, Time Lords have a way of cheating death… sort of… But you'll never see me again- not like this." He paused, a resigned expression on his face. "I'm going to change. Every cell- every atom. I might end up with three heads, or no head!" He tried to laugh, but it was more like a groan. "Can you imagine that, Rose Tyler? Me with no head? And don't say it's an improvement..." Pain racked his body and the Doctor gasped for oxygen. "For Rassillons sake," he muttered angrily, "At least let me finish!"

Rose frowned. Who was he talking to?

The Doctor's gaze ripped the floor and rested on his companion's face. "Sorry, he's a bit impatient."

"Who?"

For half a moment, a whimsical smirk lifted the Doctor's lips. "I just told you. You'll meet him in a bit. I can almost guarantee it."

Rose was confused and scared. The air in her lungs was soaked with the emotions. "Please..." she begged. "I don't understand." Tears came to her eyes. She didn't want to believe this was the last time she'd see the face of the most amazing man she'd ever met. "I-I don't want you to go…"

The Doctor stared at her sadly, but then he smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. He attempted to stand straighter, and for a moment, maintained the image that everything was fine."I before I go-"

"Don't say-"

"Rose," the Doctor interrupted, "Please…"

Rose went silent.

"I want you to know," the Doctor continued, "That you were fantastic, utterly and completely fantastic." He cocked his head toward her comically. "And you know what?"

Rose sniffed. "What?"

The image collapsed and his started to collapse."So was I."

At that moment the world exploded. An invisible force pushed Rose back and she shielded her eyes from the light. It rushed from hands and feet and face of the Gallifreyan, curtaining him in fire and relief and ice and pain. Alarms broke out on the TARDIS console and still the screams of the Doctor refused to cease. Rose Tyler hid behind the coral pillar, terrified. The Doctor stood in the middle of a whirlwind of light.

He wanted to close his eyes, to stop the burning, but the fire forced them open and all he could do was scream. It hurt so bad, worse than the pain of actually dying ever would. In a moment of desperation, he mouthed five words. It was the last time he would get to say her name. This was his last chance to say what he'd been dying to say from the moment they watched Earth burn, thousands of years in the the future and an eternity from right now. He'd taken her hand and told her to run so long ago, and they had been running ever since. So he screamed the words the last words he would ever say. Rose Tyler! I love-

The words were lost in the sound and light, wisps of a forgotten memory. As he tried to speak, as suddenly twist inside of him stole his breath. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Time unraveled around him and red flashed behind his eyes. What? WHAT?! This wasn't right! This wasn't right at all!

He'd already begun to change, but like a car changing gears, the change suddenly took off in a new direction. If his stomach was fully formed, the Doctor figured he would have emptied his stomach, but at the moment, all he could do was clench his fists and hope he survived this experience. He attempted to form a logical thought, but nothing seemed to be working...As usual.

And then just as suddenly as it started, it was over. Pitching forward, the new Doctor stumbled into the TARDIS console. Gasping, he drew oxygen in and out.

Still have lungs…he thought absently. "I suppose that's good." He frowned at the unfamiliar sound of his voice. "I think... or maybe it's not… Gills? No. Lungs. That's right. Humans have lungs." He frowned. "But that's not right, I'm not human I'm- I'm…" he trailed off. Well… He could figure that out later.

He jumped to his feet and stumbled yet again. "Ooo! Clumsy, are we? That's alright." He grabbed his legs one after the other. "I've got legs and- and." He wriggled his fingers. "Hands- lots of hands! No. No, only- only two hands. Lots of…" He thought for a moment, a bemused expression claiming his face. Suddenly he grinned. "FINGERS!" he shouted. A laugh escaped him. "I've got fingers, Rose Tyler! Fingers! Isn't it brilliant?"

The Doctor spun in a sloppy circle, noticing for the first time that his yellow and pink human was nowhere in sight. "Rose…"He murmured. "I have a Rose, don't I?" He grinned. "I've got an Ace too! I can play cards and have a Rose!"

The Doctor blinked, suddenly stalk still. "Or- or maybe I don't… Do I still have a Rose? What if I don't have a Rose?!" Agitation filled his entire body and he reached hands up to grip his hair. Then the agitation left him. "Hair… I've got hair! Ha!" He laughed maniacally and pulled down a chunk that flopped over his forehead so he could look at it. He huffed in annoyance."Not ginger... It's a bloody simple request…"

But then he forgot about his hair. Slowly, he looked up. Rose stood still as a statue behind him, her hands gripping the coral pillar like it was a life line.

"Who- Who are you? What did you do with the Doctor?"

The new man frowned at the familiar term. "Doc-tor." Then he remembered. "Oh. rRght. That's me!" He laughed.

Rapidly, Rose shook her head. "No, no. The Doctor sort of…exploded and then you replaced him like a- a teleport or a transmat or a body swap or somthin'." She was terrified, but Rose wasn't about to let someone get away with stealing her Doctor.

The Doctor frowned. "Rose. It's me. I just changed. Right in front of you."

Rose gulped. "No- no! I don't believe you."

Rolling his eyes, the Doctor attempted to take a step but ended up tripping on a cord. It took a moment to steady himself. "You don't believe me. That's brilliant." He huffed and then grinned. "Still sarcastic! Did you hear that, Rose? That was sarcasm. Well, it was either sardines or sarcasm... Whichever one isn't a fish…" He jerked himself from his mumblings and looked her in the eye. "Rose Tyler. It's me. I swear, it's me. I changed every one of my atoms to keep myself from dying, but," he scratched his neck awkwardly. "still me."

Very slowly, Rose stepped forward. Distrust colored her every movement."No." She spoke, "What did you do with him?" Still nervous, she pushed him with her hand and the Doctor rocked back and forth on his heels. "You're not foolin' me!"

The Doctor thought for a moment, his green eyes roaming the ceiling."Then how would I know this?" A whisper of a smile lit his face. "Do you remember the first time I met you? In the basement of that shop where the Autons were?" Cautiously, afraid she would jump away, the Doctor reach for his companion. She didn't move. "I grabbed your hand and whispered one word- just one word." The Doctor paused. "Run."

The tension oozed out from Rose's thin form. "Doctor?" she whispered shakily.

The Doctor grinned, realizing that this self seemed to do that alot. "Hello!" He wriggled his wingers at her in a silly sort of wave."

Rose stepped back suddenly. Shock wrapped its tentacles around her. "no way-"

"And run we did!" The Doctor interrupted. He laughed, hoping up and down just because he could. Quickly, he stumbled around the console, setting the coordinates at random."All across the universe, chasing and being chased." He turned to look at his companion, "We could see Hop again! Do you remember that? Hopping for our lives." He hopped on one foot and giggled. His floppy hair bounced up and down with each hop. Rose's expression didn't change. She was made of stone.

Following him toward the center console, Rose suddenly felt very timid."Can-can you change back?"

The Doctor's eyes riveted to her face in an instant, "Do ya…Do ya want me to?"

"Yes."

Shoulders slumping, the Doctor's eyes dropped to his shoes which were much too big now. "Oh…"

"Can you?"

The Doctor bit his lip like he was attempting to remember something, "Ah- no." There was silence and then the Doctor spoke again. he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Do you... want to go home?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No!" The answer came quickly, urgently. He couldn't stand to see her leave, but the Doctor would let her if she wanted. Rose hadn't answered his question, which the Doctor took as yes. He pressed several buttons and turned a crank. "Alright then, London- Powell Estate… 24th of December." He peeked at her, "I think I like Christmas! You get presents and stuff... Which is cool!"

Rose was silent. The Doctor she knew would never stoop so low to say a word like 'cool'. He considered himself above Earthling slang.

Huffing, the Doctor crossed his arms and tried to lean against one of the coral pillar. Unfortunately, he missed by about an inch and went crashing to the floor. He didn't seem bothered in the slightest. "Oh come on, Rose!" He whined from his spot on the floor, waving his hands in the air as he spoke. Jumping to his feet, the Gallifreyan stared at her for a moment and then cracked a smile. Rose was silent.

"For Rassilons sake, girl, is it really that bad?" The Doctor hoped up and down. He suddenly wrinkled his nose, "With my luck I probably resemble Gandalf..." He spun in a low circle, miming a sword fight with his hands and came back around with a smile."I could be Space Gandalf with a blue glowy sword thing! That wouldn't be too bad!" He flipped his sonic screwdriver in the air. It had been in his pocket and the moment he took it out, he proceeded to drop it through the floor grating. He starred as the sonic fell. "Well…" he said, "That's bothersome. Gonna have to fix that. Grating just won't do. This self seems a bit clumsy."

Rose couldn't stop herself from smiling at his crestfallen expression. Space Gandalf…

Unfortunately, the Doctor noted the smile. He looked shocked. "Was that a smile?"

Rose scowled.

"No."

"I think it was." the Doctor grinned, but Rose just shook her head.

"No it wasn't."

There was silence for a moment, and then the Doctor sighed. "Rose, please. I changed but it's not like I-" Suddenly he stumbled backwards, a cry escaping his lips.

Rose leaned around the console. "Are you alright?"

The Doctor frowned and righted himself. "Fine. I'm just-" He let out as shriek and pulled his hair at the roots. "S'all wrong! All of It! I-I-I can't be here! WRONG! Not right. Error! ERROR! ERROR!" Shouting, he gripped the edge of the console with a bloodless grip. "STOP!" He roared. Immediately his eyes flicked towards Rose's. "The regeneration's gone wrong. I'm not in the right place! Can't be here!"

"What do ya mean?" Rose cried, "Why not?"

The Doctor shook his head violently. A ghost of yellow dust trickled from his lips and hung in the air. Gulping, he explained, "I absorbed a bunch of Time Energy and it's messed with the order of my regenerations! I'm not suppose to be alive- not yet!" Suddenly a manic gleam lit his eyes. "Wanna go faster? FASTER!" His shout echoed through the TARDIS. He pushed several buttons, turned a few levers and glanced at Rose, but didn't really see her. "It's like a ROLLer Coaster! Roller coasters are so cool, Rose! I can't wait to try one in this regeneration! We can ride a Rollercoster through space and time and without seatbelts!" He giggled. "Isn't this fun?!"

Rose didn't seem to agree. "Doctor, stop!" She cried, clinging desperately to the console. "You're going to kill us!"

The Doctor huffed, "Don't be such a party pooper? Live a little! Let's break the Time Limit, my beautiful ship!"

"Doctor!" Rose screamed.

Suddenly the Time Lord froze. His eyes wandered all around the TARDIS for a moment. He turned toward Rose. "Do I know you?" He shook his head. "Wait. Yes. I do. Of course I know my Rose." Panic turned his eyes black and he folded up on the floor like a marionette doll. "Rose…" he murmured, "I can't do this. It's all tangled- the strings and the light and and the spirals and the beautiful, beautiful clocks…"

Rose clung to the TARDIS console as the ship buckled and twisted. "What are you saying?!"

The Doctor's hair hung in his eyes, but Rose saw that for a moment he regained his sanity. "You need to get the paradox machine," he instructed her, "It's the only way I can-" The sentence was left unfinished, swallowed up by the Gallifreyan's mad shouts.

Jumping away, Rose's heart pounded. Paradox machine. Where to find a paradox machine..

She tumbled toward what she hoped was the right hallway. Every so often, the floor would tip and send her sprawling. Soon she was covered in bruises and cuts. Her hair had to be a disaster, not that she really cared at that moment.

"The Doctor is dying!" she screamed at the ceiling. "If you want him to survive, I need to find a bloody paradox machine!"

The floor didn't stop tipping, but suddenly railings and arrows appeared on the walls. Rose breathed out a sigh of relief. If all else failed, Rose could always rely on the TARDIS's loyalty to her captain. Moving quicker now, Rose zipped through the hallways. It was mostly dark, but the occasional red light guided her deeper and deeper into the TARDIS and hopefully closer to her target.

Quicker than her eyes could register, a door appeared in the wall next to her. "Thank you," Rose whispered, out of breath. The human leaned against the door and it swung open without protest.

Inside the room was shelf after shelf of strange nicknacks. Some of the objects were things Rose recognized, a coffee mug, porcelain mask, cellphone, and others were completely foreign. She stumbled past all of the objects, hardly taking them in. The room appeared to be some sort of storage facility. Her entire attention was fixed on the shelf that was light up by an unseen light source.

"Please be it…" She prayed, coming closer to the shelf. There was only one object on the white wood. It was a necklace of with what looked like a silver coin as the only ornament. Rose didn't question its oddity. Snatching up the necklace, she stumbled out of the storage room and found herself inside the console room.

Another benefit of a sentient ship, distance was relative.

The Doctor lay curled in a ball at the base of the console, tearing at his hair. He was screaming words in a language Rose couldn't understand, but recognized from other brief instances with the Doctor she knew. Gallifreyan. The Doctor was screaming in Gallifreyan. The words would have been beautiful if it wasn't so blatantly obvious that her friend was in pain.

Rushing to his side, Rose held out the necklace. "Is this it? Is this the paradox machine? Tell me it's the right thing!"

The Doctor went quiet but otherwise didn't respond.

Great. What now?

Rose bit her lip. Now was not the time to hesitate. "I really hope this is right," she murmured. Taking the Doctor's head in her hands, she shoved the necklace around his neck. Nothing happened.

"Come on!" She shouted at him, "Work, you stupid thing!"

She grabbed the metal coin and searched it with her fingers. "Maybe there's a button or…"

Suddenly a wrist grabbed her hand. The Doctor's eyes were squeezed shut, and his breathing was shallow, but slowly he took her hand away from the coin and pressed his thumb upon the surface.

Immediately, a green light shined spilled from the coin and enveloped the Doctor. It was so fast and when Rose blinked, the green light was gone. Instead, a steady red light pulsed from the coin.

There was a moment of tense silence. Then the Doctor breathed in deeply. Gasped- actually, like he had been drowning. He coughed up some gold dust and slowly opened his eyes. Suddenly, he sat up. "Well that was unpleasant." He coughed again.

Rose stared at him, this new Doctor with his babyish face and carefree attitude. Could he really be the same man she remembered?

All she knew at this moment was that she was beyond relieved that he was alright. "Are you okay now? What was that light? What happened?" The questions poured out of her like water.

The Doctor jumped to his feet, swayed, and then regained his balance. "I'll explain later, when I've stabilized. Right now everything is still sort of… odd." He grinned and put a hand out to help her to her feet. Rose ignored it and stood up on her own.

The Doctor didn't seem to notice. He bounced on his heels, "Rose? Can we please, please see Christmas!" He jumped up and down like an urgent child, "I learned about it at school, and I haven't seen one in ages!"

"I-" Rose started, but suddenly the TARDIS jerked to the side and spun in a circle. There was a crash, and Rose knew instinctively that they had landed.

The Doctor giggled happily, untangling himself from a nest of wires. "Rose! Come on! Hurry up! Lets go see, Jackie and Mickey Mouse!"

Standing up, Rose realized she was on the wall instead of the floor. Frowning, she walked down the wall and put her feet on the floor. The gravity stabilized and she followed after the Doctor, who was already trying to push open the TARDIS doors. "You pull them, Doctor," she reminded him.

The Doctor blinked, scratched his head and then carefully pulled the doors in. He snorted. "I knew that..." And then without another word, the Time Lord jumped out of the TARDIS and into the world beyond.

AN: Please tell me what you think! I love reviews! I won't be able to update very fast when school starts again, so check out some of my other stories I've written while you're waiting! Thanks for reading!