Welcome to the third Edda. There is a very lengthy AN at the end … read it, if you dare.


Berkian Eddur - 3

Meeting at Iðavöllr


1. Jötunvillur

The winds howled outside, as if trying to make up for the lovely weather they'd had the week before, or even make them forget that Spring would soon chase it away. Winter was giving one last battle, the jötun clinging on with their teeth even as Thor kicked them in like icicles off the eaves.

'K …. V …. R …..G...'

Hiccup drank some of the watered mead, savouring it in his mouth before swallowing. Ætta was sitting at his foot, a writing block on her lap, holding the lead stick shakily in her hand as she traced the letters from the top row to a much squigglier bottom one. The way she bit her bottom lip was so much like Astrid's …

'Papa Hiccup," she sighed, putting the stick down and shaking her hand dramatically. Hiccup almost rolled his eyes - for someone who wasn't related to him by blood, she had certainly picked up on a lot of his mannerisms. 'May I stop for a while, papa?'

She blinked up at him, and he was already convinced. He was going to catch it from Astrid.

'Only if you promise me to continue once mama Astrid comes back,' he said gently, and the little girl bounced to her feet with an elated cry and raced towards the barns. 'Ætta!' She froze, looking back at him wide-eyed. 'You haven't promised yet.'

Ætta puffed her cheeks out; ah, caught her in a scheme, hadn't he? 'I promise, papa Hiccup!' she piped, and off she went into the dragon barn, giggling to be heard a moment later as she no doubt threw herself belly-first into the little baby dragon stall. The chirps of the babies rose a second later, some more annoyed than others; the child night furies found all distraction welcome but the nadders liked their rest. Hlin had left two days ago, and the tiny night furies had been glum for a great deal of the time. Toothless was bearing it surprisingly well; Hiccup didn't know whether it was just instinct that allowed him to accept her departure in such a blazé manner, but he himself wasn't sure he could take it, if Astrid left.

He smiled to himself; not that she was going anywhere.

Hiccup grunted with satisfaction as he stretched out in his chair, a gift from his father on his name day. It was comfortable, lined with cushioning and placed right beside his father's larger one, facing the fire. His leg was extended towards the fire, his prosthetic removed so that it could continue healing, scabbing, and - hopefully - stop aching. The damn changeable weather wasn't helping much.

His name day. It had been interesting, if only because they'd tried to make it special for him and the late Winter storm had swept away all the tents and nearly all the food too. Astrid had been cursing the ice giants for the past three days, hissing at the thunder when she thought now one was looking and telling Thor to get on with it and beat their arses out of their skies.

He was twenty now, and as he stared down at his reflection in the mead, he didn't see much of a difference. Still high cheeks, still wide green eyes. Shaggy hair that got everywhere all the time - half burned on his right side not from the forge these days, but because some terror or other thought it may make a good lunch. He needed Mother Goethi to wrangle those little monsters a little bit better.

But he wasn't the same boy, not really. He wasn't even a boy anymore. He was a man of twenty, future chief of Berk and engaged to be married.

The smirk that spread on his face wasn't one he would let out if Astrid was in the room. She'd either clock him or give him one of those smoky looks that made sleeping very difficult, especially because she tended to throw one of her legs over him at night. It was torture, knowing that creamy thigh was right there. He was almost sure she only pretended to sleep when she did that.

And she would be so proud of herself, if she knew that she could torture him at a distance. Here he was, a willing slave to her every look, living the dream. He almost snorted, trying to imagine what a face he would have made if someone had come to him as a boy, peeking out the window of the forge to try to get a glimpse of her hair (and her legs), that in five short years, he'd see the world, come back here, and wake up every morning with one hand buried deep in those silky gold strands, and the other cupping her rear.

He was lucky he always woke up first. He'd either be dead or an oath breaker.

He smiled down at his cup again, the memory making him warmer than the fire, as it always did. He sent a prayer of thanks up to Lofn, to Sjofn, to Frigga and Freya, and all the merciful ones who had allowed his path to cross with hers again. He had been an idiot to leave, a larger idiot to almost do it again and a bigger one still to love her. But in the end, she cared for him, idiot and all, and he needed nothing else.

Spying his little girl's writing exercise discarded on the ground with the corner of his eyes, he bent down to snatch it up, smoothing the parchment out to look at the unsteady lines. She'd filled in quite a few of the exercises, so at least her aching hand hadn't been a complete farse. But he should have known; she may be his little girl, but she was a Hofferson, really. Her brand of hardheadedness came with a lean towards getting her goal, no matter what it was, as well as she could get it. He gave a little smile as he scribbled a new set of runes for her to copy out - that one would probably get him a punch later. Or he'd get lucky, maybe.

A mournful chirp rose up, giving a whine and a hiccup. Hiccup sat up straight in his chair, ears straining to hear more. The dragonets were doing what passed for crying among their species, and it tended to break his heart. Wound or no wound, if they didn't settle, he'd hop out there to give Toothless a hand in consoling them.

Ætta's little voice piped up instead, singing a bedtime song Astrid made herself perform even if he teased her about it. She was comforting the poor things; the dragonlings hadn't yet grown used to their mother being gone, and had begun to cling to Toothless and the rest of them obsessively. They were growing fast; but not fast enough to forgo comfort when it was offered. That dragon … the female night fury had stayed long enough to accept a name. Hiccup had been thinking about it, and he'd asked her when he felt that she was on the point of leaving. She had accepted his name, and it gave him hope that she would be back.

Hlin. Goddess of comfort, consolation and protection. He hoped that naming her after the goddess would shield her from danger so she would return again, next year, to comfort and console his battle brother. He liked to think that when she accepted the name, she accepted his prayers too. Hiccup really hoped so, for Toothless' sake.

The little dragons began making trilling little noises when Ætta changed song, trying to sing along with her, and Hiccup heard Toothless and Fireworm groaning - poor adults got precious little sleep with the tiny dragons trying to awaken them and make a racket in the wee hours of the morning. The long Winter nights were getting shorter, but they still didn't seem short enough for the energetic bundles. He was glad that Ætta at least seemed to be past the phase where she wanted attention at three hours past midnight. Brunhilda had been enjoying the faces he made when she told him all the horror stories of early fatherhood, with Stoick contributing enthusiastically. They were helping him keep his oath at least in part; the other part of him wanted to see Astrid with child, see her with her hair up breastfeeding their little ones as he held them both.

'Autumn...' he sighed to himself, ripping a corner off another piece of fresh parchment and jotted down a few lines, hiding it under a bowl on her cooking table. She'd find it, eventually.

As if thinking about her had brought her to him, Astrid pushed the hut's door open, battling against the wind to shut it again.

'Oooh, that was not a good day,' she groaned, shuddering as she began shedding her layers of fur and holding her hands out towards the fire.

'Sorry, milady,' he said regretfully. She gave him a look, half amusement, half admonishment.

'I much prefer having you here, safe by the fire, and knowing your wound is healing.' She hung her clothes on the hook, walking around the pit to sit in his lap and tap his nose playfully. 'Besides, I don't mind teaching at the academy. We couldn't even fly today with all the wind, so we had a tiny treasure hunt.'

Hiccup pulled her into a tighter hug, breathing her in and rubbing her back as she willing rested against him, going boneless as he massaged her scalp. 'Hid a few clues here and there with a treat at the end of the trail?'

'Something like that. The prize was getting some special time with Berk's dragon master,' she replied cheekily, laughing against his shoulder when he groaned.

'Woman, you need to stop selling me out like that,' he grumbled, resting his chin on her head.

'You're the one who gave me the idea in the first place,' she chuckled back, digging her fingers into his sides and making him squirm before he clamped his elbows down on them.

'Oh?'

'Who's the one leaving me all those scraps of poetry everywhere?' she asked, wiggling her head out of his grip and looking up at him with a pout he promptly kissed. She let go of her mock annoyance readily, curling up in his lap even more closely as her knees pressed against his armpit.

'You want me to stop?' he teased, moving up to kiss her brows.

'Don't you dare,' she chuckled back. He grinned, preening at the success of his courting. He loved that she loved it, and simply basked in the fact that he could. After years of dreaming, just doing things like this felt like a touch of Asgard. 'Where's Ætta?'

'Well, she finished almost all her exercises, so I let her take a break to play with Toothless' children,' he admitted, trying not to look too guilty.

'You've a soft heart, Hiccup Haddock. I won't let you ruin that girl,' she said, slapping his side mildly. 'Just keep to ruining me, and let me deal with the children.'

'Oh, so you allow your own ruining?' he grinned, sitting up straighter and cradling her head to rest in the crook of his elbow. She smiled up at him, allowing herself to be somewhat manhandled without breaking all his fingers. 'How generous of you.'

'I'm beyond rescue now,' she sighed dramatically, 'you've turned me into one of those mushy women who can't wait to see her promised and pines away all day!' She held her fingers to her forehead in despair. 'I must at least save the children from being hopelessly spoiled.'

'I don't spoil her!' She gave him a look. ' … that badly,' he conceded.

'You Haddock men,' she muttered, moving her free hand up to caress his cheeks. 'Between your father dandling her around and you passing her sweet meats and apple tarts, it's a wonder she gets anything done.'

'I did make her promise she'd continue once you returned,' he murmured back, leaning against her. 'Should I call her?'

'Mmm,' she hummed, beginning to rub her nose against his as he moved closer and closer. 'Maybe in a bit...'

She stretched up and kissed him. He rested his elbow against the armrest on his chair and curled up around her. She was warm, but her fingers were still chilled when they slipped into his hair, pressing him down by the nape of his neck. He shivered and she hummed, pressing herself up to his chest until his heart was beating so hard that he was sure she felt it against her breast. He could feel her pulse, fluttering against his lips as he moved down her neck, enjoying her stifled moans and gasps as he took a taste of her sweaty skin. The salt on his tongue made his own skin flush, her smell cloying his nose and taking over his thoughts as it always did. His arm wound from his battle against Dagur stretched sorely, but he ignored it, concentrating instead on rubbing circles into her scalp with his fingertips, and gently suckling her lower lip.

'Throw out the old clothes, bring in the new,

fill up the chest and put on the stew.

Give him the sword and give her the ring,

Braid up her hair behind earrings.

Wait from the fruit to fall to the grass,

After Thor's hammer knocked on the glass'

Astrid groaned, pushing him gently until their lips separated. Ætta's little voice was accompanied by the dragonets' chirps and the thumps of her hopping.

'Mother taught her that one?' she asked, sitting up slightly and slinging her arms around his neck. Hiccup shrugged.

'It would seem so. She was pretty adamant about teaching it to us back then, too.'

'Yes, I remember that she was the one who suggested we sing it when we were doing our counting and skipping games.' They fell quiet as Ætta repeated the verse a few times, obviously trying to get through the skipping routine perfectly. Hiccup smiled at her determination, but those last few verses made him wonder ...

'Come to the hall hair tumbling down

Flowers and leaves wove into a crown

Over the step don't stumble at all

Deep in the wood, the sword never falls

In her sweet lap the hammer he'll drop

And in her bower, his search will stop.'

Hiccup felt his cheeks go up in flames as he realised exactly what the subject of the little ditty was.

'Dear gods, we sang this as children?' he choked. Astrid blinked up at him for a second, and then retrained her ears towards Ætta's clumsy little voice as she sang and hopped, the dragons joining in and interrupting. He knew exactly the moment where the familiar words, so old and so well-known and ingrained, suddenly took on the meaning they actually had, rather than the notions of fun and games and closeness they'd associated with them as children. Astrid's face joined his as her cheeks flushed, but her mouth twisted into a snarl.

'Why that tricky little...' she hissed. Hiccup tried to contain the tears as her hands curled into his nape, pulling his fine hairs. 'No wonder she was on about how she knew we'd be married!'

'Don't yell, you'll startle the children,' he sighed, holding her tight.

'The Journey has ended

The treasure is found,

The honey is meaded

Her belly is round.

Hop to the hall with buds in your hair

If by next harvest, they will be fair

Then it is your turn to wear a crown,

Smelling of sweet herbs with your hair down.'

Astrid blinked, then snorted and hid her face in his neck. 'This is cruel,' she sighed.

'Well, my journey has ended,' he whispered in her ear. He felt her smile against his skin, and her fingers gently caressed his head.

'My treasure is found,' she muttered. His heart all but burst in his chest. He grinned and kissed her temple.

'The honey is meaded,' he chuckled, going along with her game.

She was silent for a moment before pushing away to look at him. 'How many?'

'What?' he asked, confused. 'Honey barrels? Well, it depends on the harvest, but by last count we have ...'

'No, idiot,' she chuckled. 'How many children do you want.'

He was struck dumb for a moment, blinking at her. Then she nudged him slightly, getting his brain back on track again, and she smiled, forcing him to smile back before he couldn't even try to stop himself.

'As many as we are lucky to have,' he replied, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

'And since I'm going to keep you busy after the wedding,' she hissed, trying to make it sound like a threat when it really, really wasn't…

'Ah, the gods hate me,' he sighed in mock despair, and Astrid snickered in satisfaction.

'Mama Astrid!' Ætta exclaimed as she came back into the room, one of Toothless' dragonets cradled in her arms while the other followed at her ankle. They were already almost too large for her to carry, but no one could say that the little girl didn't try. Astrid reluctantly uncurled from his lap, dropping one last kiss onto his cheek before she turned to the girl.

'It's almost bedtime, young lady,' she said, taking both dragons from the child and shooing her back towards the parchment. 'And I'm guessing you haven't finished that.'

'No, mama. But I promised I'd continue once you came, so I will,' she replied with a nod. Hiccup saw Astrid hide a smile, and he grinned at her cheekily over the child's head. She sneered at him before she poked her tongue out. The four-year-old was quickly situated on a bench with a writing block on her lap, the two dragonets curling around her ankles as she sounded out the runes she was copying.

'You're a cheeky little bastard, aren't you?' Astrid said to him as she came back, holding back a laugh in her whisper as she helped Hiccup stand to move closer to the fire. 'You think you can tease me at a distance. Well, too bad I know where you sleep!'

He still grinned back. 'I can say the same. In fact, I know where your thigh sleeps...'

'V … I ... R …' Ætta sounded out as she worked.

'Cheat,' she murmured, going red. She wasn't yet used to how close to him she got as they slept, and while that thigh she threw across his lap gave his self-control no end of grief, it also gave him teasing rights. He kept grinning, not refuting her accusation as he sat down on a stool and allowed her to look at his wound. A pot of food Brunhilda had dropped off earlier was merrily bubbling away, and the howling wind outside suddenly made this the best place in the world.

'I love you,' he blurted out, not quite in control of his mouth. She froze for a second, but then flushed with pleasure and kissed his knee as she finished washing the scars.

'Still want that wedding night first,' she replied cheekily.

'K … I ….' Ætta continued, each rune sound long and drawn out as she traced the lines on the parchment.

'Wow, so much to look forward to,' he teased back.

'S … S … M ...'

'Autumn,' she sang out, dropping small pecks around his stump and making him squirm.

'Autumn,' he replied with a nod. He couldn't help feeling it was so far away.

'E ...'

Astrid blinked, and looked at the child. Hiccup smirked.

'K … I … S … S … M … E ...' she annunciated again, going through the exercise five times as she always did.

'This is a new low, Haddock,' she said archly, rising to sit into his lap again after she strapped the soft gauze onto the scabbed wound. 'Using our little girl to send me hints...'

'She doesn't seem to mind,' he said, grinning wider. The child was happily oblivious to her role in his ploy.

'K … I … S … S ….'

'Well, if you insist,' she chuckled, pressing her mouth to his. The child in the room forced them to keep it chaste, but it was no less involved.

'Later,' she whispered against his lips as they broke off, looking meaningfully at the reeds keeping their bedroom private.

Their bedroom. That still gave him a thrill, even if he knew they could not do what they both wished; not just yet.

'Later,' he confirmed with a smile, letting her slip off his lap again and trailing his fingers across her clothes as she moved around the fire, taking the pot off the hook and leaving it close to the flame instead so it wouldn't burn.

Hiccup smiled, looking on with a full heart as his family formed around him, still new, still fragile as all fledglings were, but also so surprisingly strong where it counted. He watched Ætta finish her task and take the dragonets back to their father, Toothless greeting them with a sleepy, happy grunt and probably nuzzling them to bed. Hiccup moved back to his chair after his father came home, tired and hungry from a long day, sitting beside him and chatting as they all ate, Ætta nodding off at their feet.

After the fire had been banked, the child put to bed and the stairs duly mounted with that strange, dogged manner that was simply ingrained into their culture, Hiccup relaxed back into the pillows, his bones aching pleasantly at the prospect of rest. His drooping eyes followed Astrid as she went around the room, blowing out all candles except the one she carried in a dish, and then slipping into bed with him before extinguishing that one too.

He held her to him strongly, smiling into the darkness when her lips gently traced his cheeks; no urgency, only tenderness.

'Tired?' he whispered, turning his head to nuzzle her.

'Very,' she sighed, hugging him closer and kissing his cheek again. He dropped a peck on her temple.

'Later,' he whispered. She chuckled lightly.

'Hold you to it,' she conceded, moving to nuzzle into his shoulder and rest. Her leg automatically came over his lap, and he nearly snorted.

'I love you,' he teased instead. She chuckled, knowing exactly what he was playing at.

'Sleep, my Viking prince,' she murmured, her voice already slurred with fatigue. Hiccup smiled into the dark room, his heart picking up and then settling again as he felt her smiling against his chest. It was really only his title on Berk - he was the heir to the chiefdom and throne, in a sense - but it took on so much more meaning when she said it like that.

'Goodnight, Asta,' he said as quietly as possible once he was sure she was asleep. She moved and murmured but didn't wake, nose rubbing against him sweetly.

He drifted off with a smile.

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Inspired by a real 'valentine' message left on a bone. I am sure that you cannot see a complete URL, but if you google 'daily mail' and 'article-2558450/Kiss-Experts-finally-crack-900-year-old-Norse-code-reveal-ancient-love-message' you will probably be able to find a good article about it. Just googling 'expert decodes norse love message' may bring it up.

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Now comes the great big honking AN (with spoilers):

1) To start, let's talk about After Everything …

A lot of you know that Foxy and I are friends, and have been asking me about how After Everything, her current multi-chapter, breaks the mould of her usual works. To start, I would like to say that I don't mind the questions; I consult with Foxy before answering, and she knows I am putting up this AN (incidentally, sorry it's coming a few days late, hun, but I decided to take a 'mental health no internet for today' break!). She is currently away, so I'm putting up this note to remind folks that she won't have internet access for a good while.

In any case a lot of the readers were very unhappy that the story was breaking some unwritten pattern … but that is the point. Foxy is breaking the form with that story. It is an experiment; she's trying something new. She's never written in a single point of view for the entirety of a story and it is a very difficult thing to do while keeping a story running. A lot of people have been unhappy with it, but the thing is, she's working to increase her range, make better the things she can already do and find new things she can write. I'm ridiculously proud of her for having such a steep learning curve, and right now she's working on narrative perspective. It's very, very hard, for the record, to pull off a single-perspective story on the first go, so give her a little time. After Everything IS Hiccstrid. There is a lot of Hiccstrid going on the background that the readers have not seen yet because it is single perspective. Harry Potter is that way – you only knew what Harry knew, and in this case, you only know what Astrid knows. I am also going go voice an unpopular opinion after here, so skip them if you are easily offended

2) But here are the AE-related unpopular opinions, to quote one of my idols, Dorothy L Sayers;

A. A woman is free to look, same as men are free to look. You can look, and you can be attracted to someone, even if you are in a committed relationship with someone else. It's pretty normal, and it's perfectly ok unless you act on it. Readers harping on the Astrid character for looking at Eret and appreciating Freya's gifts to women need to broaden their horizons. Panoramic view is always preferable.

B. And author can change style and change preference between different stories. As authors, none of you – I mean none – should be restricted to a pairing, or a topic, or a particular style in fanfiction. These are your glory years, this is fanfiction. If an author makes it into the publishing market, it's a little more difficult, because it's hard enough to gain a readership, and then you have to please the critics. You know, people who write reviews in newspapers and give you ratings and determine whether you get to keep that readership or not. Heck, even JK Rowling had to write under a pseudonym to escape the stigma of critic comparison when she decided she would write in a new style. Fanfiction on the other hand is peer reviewed; you can and you must experiment. It's the playground where you grow and stretch your author muscles and try new things.

3) The Film (and MORE unpopular opinions):

I spent the first few viewings hating it. Yes. I hated it the first few times I watched it – Hiccup was behaving nothing like the sweet little boy who'd stolen my heart four years ago, and 'growing up' isn't a good enough excuse in my books to make someone unrecognisable. He cared absolutely nothing for Astrid's safety when he summarily gave her up to Eret's men (You: That's because he trusts her warrior skills and they had their dragons! Me: It's a boat full of men who know how to tie dragons up and she's a single girl with no weapon. Drago's men had no problem restraining her. Please draw your own conclusions). He does not wonder about her when he doesn't see her behind him after he leaves Eret's boat, and does not even ask if she's ok when she suddenly shows up on the battlefield of the nest, together with the rest of the team. He did not once turn around and ask Toothless if he was alright when they crashed. He never stopped for a moment to listen to anyone's advice, not his father, not Astrid, not even his mother.

In other words he was such an arse that I wanted to grab him by the buckles, slap him silly and tell him to get a personality transplant, which shocked me, as I love that boy, I really do. I have a maternal streak a mile wide and I was all for adopting him and feeding him till he burst. We took to calling him McHeroFace, because that arse who is so full of himself he doesn't care about the people who love him most just can't be our Hiccup.

Then I realised one thing that changed the entire perspective of the entire thing. Back before the film came out, when the fact that Hiccup's mother was in the film leaked, I was discussing what her role would be with Arctic Repartee on tumblr. I humbly suggested that Hiccup would have to choose between his affinity with dragons, and his (not so much) affinity with humans, with his mother and his father representing each one. And I did not so much forget that as I simply could not see it, because it's only actually a superficial theme.

Thing is, I realised that Hiccup is not the hero of this story. Don't get me wrong, he plays an important role in it, but he's actually not the main hero (he's more of a damsel in distress. No, really). The people who undergo the most important emotional journeys in this film are Stoick, Toothless and, in a more minor scope, Eret, with Hiccup as a lynch pin and Drago as the motivator. Hiccup spent the entire film being terrified. He was butt-clenchingly scared of the chief role, so much that he's in total panic mode. Astid speaks to him, but she's happy about it and so he runs away from her too. He finds out about Drago and decides; yes! This is my chance, I'll show dad that this, and not chiefing, is what I'm good at, and he'll drop the issue. He meets Valka, who looks for a while as if she may understand and even be an out for his situation, but she stone-walls him in the same way Stoick does (there's no talking to Drago; we protect our own), and he runs from that too. He rejects Toothless, running from the act that his dragon committed not to admit that it's mostly his fault his father is dead (mostly. The final blame still falls on Drago. If someone kills your father with a sword, do you blame the sword?) It's only when he sets fire to his father's pyre that he stops running, and then the serious backbone starts to grow.

Unfortunately, it coincides with Toothless' redemption arc, so once again the Hiccup character had to stand back and watch as the central role was taken by his dragon. Hiccup did not even score a solitary victory against Drago (dropping him off the BB doesn't count, because he was almost killed moments later because he ignored the BB completely) while the Bewilderbeast was defeated by Toothless – which would not really have been believable, in all honesty, as the man was evenly matched with Stoick in strength. But a sword fight with Hiccup showing agility and winning through ingénue – as he did in the first film? It would have been welcome. I still don't mind that Toothless took the spotlight.

This also put into perspective the reason why Valka was the one who gave Hiccup his peptalk after they set Stoick afloat. I was hugely annoyed that Astrid had not reprised the role, as she is the closest thing to family he has there apart from Gobber (who is too busy making me bawl my eyes out when his voice breaks at 'friend'). Valka had given him a little BS peptalk before where she'd decided that 'this is who we are' regarding the two and dragons (after knowing him for three hours … but more on that later). She needed to take that back. She needed to redact her assessment of the boy, because her first one, not surprisingly, is wrong.

Which brings me to …

4) Possibly the most unpopular opinion of all. Valka. Gods I hate the woman. If I had to choose who I hate most between her and Drago, I'd go with her every single time. Now, this is opinion, first and foremost, but where I stand, a mother worth her salt does not abandon her infant child. She can save the world three thousand times in a myriad of ways from here on out for me, nothing will redeem her in my eyes. She abandoned her baby twice; first she went out to stop people from killing dragons, rather than staying with her baby who is a newborn and needs protection, then she did not come back even though she obviously had the means to. Heck, her being ALIVE is the best proof of all that what she was saying about dragons has weight. She preferred to raise thousands of dragons, instead of one tiny boy, because the dragons were easier. (You: But … Midi, Hiccup almost left in the first one. Blimey, you made him leave in the Becoming Edda and he almost did again in Holt! Me: He did not have an infant son, and he stayed, which makes all the difference). Nothing this character does for me will redeem her, because she has made herself detestable in my eyes with this one act.

It is also why I hate 'the dancing and the dreaming' and headdesk every time I see Hiccup proposing to Astrid in this way. Don't get me wrong, I see the appeal and it truly is a sweet little ditty; it's romantic and brave and all the things that warm your heart, and it makes you wonder whether Stoick made it up for Valka. But the truth is I really don't want Hiccup and Astrid anywhere near it, because it is a song about broken vows. The two singers vow to stay together, to love one another, to never part, and to protect each other. Valka broke all of those vows, and Stoick was unable to keep the protection part of the vow either. A song about broken vows (that is the last thing these two ex-lovers do together before one of them dies) is not something I can find within myself to make Hiccup and Astrid do. It feels like a bloody bad omen. I even had the plan of Hiccup and Astrid singing the wedding ditty Ǽtta sang above to each other on their wedding night, and now I'm debating whether to nix that idea.

And thus end the Unpopular Opinions. I'm guessing all those who asked for mine are now regretting it wholeheartedly. This may or may not have been the evil motive all along. *thunderclap* I'm an evil overlord. Reputations don't come without hard work.