Unseen

Unseen

by Maria Rocket

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[Author's Notes: This is another one of those songfics that jumped down out of nowhere and attacked me. ^^; It's a Quatre/Dorothy fic, and it takes place between the end of the tv series and Endless Waltz. The song is a pretty one called "He Doesn't See Me" by Sarah Brightman.]

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Standing quietly among all the chatter and fuss, Dorothy Catalonia watched all the important people glide and whirl on the dance floor. It was another political gathering, crowds of peacocks rubbing shoulders. She couldn't stand all the posturing and parading. Once she had been like all of them, not that long ago. But the war had changed her, like it had the entire world.

Dressed in a simple blue gown, she hid beneath a large stand of decorative ferns, where the shadows could hide her. Normally, she wouldn't have come to one of those gatherings, even though she still held an amount of influence within what remained of the Romafeller Foundation. There were better ways she could be spending her time.

Her misty blue eyes caught on a small figure walking across the dance floor. She trembled. She was incredibly uncomfortable, but she'd just had to come. When she'd heard he'd be at the gathering, she hadn't been able to keep herself away. So there she was.

The figure walked right past her, but he didn't notice her standing beneath the sheltering plants. She stared after him. He was Quatre Raberba Winner, head of the Winner Corporation, colonial big-shot, ex-gundam pilot, and absolutely gorgeous.

The boy she'd run through with a fencing foil and nearly killed. The memory still pained her. She watched him approach a group of people she didn't recognize and start friendly conversation she couldn't hear. But when he laughed, she could hear it, and wanted to hear it again. It sounded as beautiful as he was. His hair was like spun sunshine, and his eyes like soft sapphire gems. He always seemed to smile. He was an angel.

He was single.

Dorothy drummed her fingers on her crossed arms nervously. She couldn't believe what she was feeling. She'd felt it since the night he'd come to apologize to her for leaving her behind on the Libra. To apologize to HER. She still couldn't comprehend what could have been going on through his little head. She was the one who'd nearly killed him, she should have been the one to apologize to HIM. And she had. But then he'd left, leaving her with a peculiar feeling. It had started as nothing more than a twitch, but as time passed, the sensation had become more and more distracting as she couldn't stop thinking about him. She didn't put a name to the feeling. She didn't dare. She was Dorothy Catalonia, resigned to her miserable existance.

Falling for a boy who had every right to hate her guts was a stupid move she wasn't about to make. He didn't need her pain, she had given him enough. He deserved something better than the likes of her. Still, she had to be there. She had to see him.

Even if she didn't dare approach him.

When he passes me by, he's a ray of light

like the first drop of sun from the sky.

And I know he's a king, who deserves a queen.

But I'm not a queen.

And he doesn't see me.

As she watched, Quatre turned around to smile at a newcomer. It was a girl in a fancy lace gown. Dorothy couldn't tell who it was from where she stood, but she could see the big cheerful smile on Quatre's face. She bristled as he led the girl out onto the floor and started to dance with her. Dorothy wanted to go and deck the little harlot.

Rubbing her knuckles with a frown, she knew that was just another reason she could never have Quatre. There were some things about herself that she'd never be able to change. She was the wrong sort of girl for a kind and gentle boy like Quatre. Her eyes bright with sadness, she watched Quatre lead his lady partner across the dance floor.

The way he moved reminded her of their battle aboard the Libra. Connected to the ZERO system, she'd held an advantage over him, but she had been impressed with the grace and skill of his movements. Even now, she could still see it. She couldn't help smiling. He was so beautiful. She knew it radiated from his kindness. Once, he'd told her that she was kinder than he was. Watching him move, she couldn't believe that. She couldn't imagine coming anywhere close.

When he dances, he moves me to a smile

and I see everything near him shine.

There's a grace in his ways that I can't contain

I haven't that grace

Oh I haven't that grace.

The music played faster, and all the dancers went spinning like tops across the floor. It was very lively, and Dorothy could hear Quatre laughing again. Then he and his partner came gliding straight towards where she was hiding away next to the plants. Panicking, she pulled down one the ferns to hide her face. She was glad for it, not only to hide her from Quatre, but because she knew her face was a deep red. She wasn't about to be seen looking so flustered.

She didn't want him to find her there. She didn't want to answer the questions she knew would come, in a voice she was sure would crack in his presence, merely to betray her. And she didn't want his eyes looking into hers, tempting her to do something selfish.

And the closer he gets I can't help but hide

so ashamed of my body and voice.

There are boundaries we pass in spite of the war

But our own, we can't seem to cross.

Peeking between the ferns, she finally got a close look at Quatre's dancing partner. Her eyes widened. It was Relena.

Her heart clenched bitterly. It would be former Miss Queen of the World. She matched Quatre almost perfectly. She had all the grace and light of royalty. If anyone could rightfully claim Quatre, it would be Relena. She was the only one pure enough.

But Dorothy knew Relena could never love Quatre. Her heart belonged to another ex-gundam pilot. Relena wanted the wild boy who held a freedom and spirit she could never have. That one called Heero Yuy. She and Relena were stuck in the same boat.

Dorothy looked away as the two dancers moved past her again. For a moment, she thought she felt Quatre's eyes on her, but then they were gone again. He hadn't seen her. He was kissing Relena's small delicate hand as they parted ways. Dorothy looked on with envious eyes.

She has a way that surrounds her so delicate

with a glory that reigns in her life.

She is also so much that she is not

These things, I can't see

Because he doesn't see me

And he doesn't see me.

As Quatre drifted away, her eyes followed him. It would be so easy to walk over there and speak to him. To touch him, and let him know how she felt... No. She had no right! She was stained, and he was pure...she couldn't touch him. Afraid of what she might do if she stayed any longer, she turned and walked away from her hiding place. With firm strides, she headed towards the exit.

There are things we can change,

if we just choose to fight.

But the walls of injustice are high.

"Hey!"

Dorothy froze at the sound of his voice. She could hear his footsteps rushing up behind her. She knew she should run, but she didn't want to. As he came closer, she trembled. Her breath caught sharply as she felt his hand gently take hold of her arm.

"Excuse me..."

Squeezing through the crowd, Quatre gently brushed by Dorothy and continued onward. She still stood like a statue as he half-jogged towards the doorway to meet another newcomer. Somewhere in the recesses of her memory, Dorothy recognized Trowa Barton, but she didn't pay any attention to him. Quatre had been right next to her. He'd touched her, spoken to her... Yet, he hadn't seen her at all.

There was a deep ache inside her, but she tried to ignore it. It was a lucky thing he hadn't seen her. Now she could escape while he was distracted talking to his friend. Dorothy quickly walked on, keeping her head down, since she would have to walk right behind them to leave. As she stepped through the doorway however, she couldn't help pausing briefly to steal one last look.

Quatre was absolutely animated, and he seemed to glow as he spoke. His eyes sparkled as Trowa said something so quiet she couldn't hear, but it made the blonde laugh. The golden locks fell into his face with the force of his laughter, and he brushed them away before reaching out to give the taller boy an affectionate squeeze to the arm.

Such kindness and understanding, Dorothy thought. He deserves someone as wonderful as himself. Someone who's everything I'm not.

When he passes me by he's a ray of light,

Like the first drop of sun from the sky.

And I know he's a king who deserves a queen.

Someone other than me.

So different from me.

Afraid of lingering too long, Dorothy hurried out. She fled down the steps of the building, shoving a few people out of her way as she went. Hell would freeze over before she let them see her that way. She didn't cry. No, she wasn't crying! When she finally reached her golden limo, she stopped.

God, it reminded her of his hair. Rubbing angrily at her eyes, she composed herself before getting behind the wheel. She was going to have to look into getting it repainted. Black, or maybe blue. No, blue was a bad idea too. She gave the building one last longing glance before starting the ignition. Her eyes clouded over sadly.

She just had to keep reminding herself it was for the best.

He doesn't see me.

He doesn't see me.

He doesn't see me.

Back inside the building, Quatre turned towards the window as a glint of bright gold light caught his eye. He watched as a familiar golden limo drove away. Trowa saw the sudden frown on his face, and looked out the window as well.

"What is it?"

"That looked like Dorothy's limo," Quatre's frown blinked away into a look of thoughtfulness. "But I didn't even see her come in."

"Dorothy?" Relena stepped up behind Trowa. "I didn't see her arrive either, but I just saw her leave a few minutes ago. She seemed to be in a hurry. I wonder what she's up to."

"Yeah..." With an aura of disappointment, Quatre stared out the window.