Title: The Third Option.

Fandom: Mass Effect.

Spoilers: Takes place after ME3 (duh) so all the spoilers.

Pairings: Femshep/EDI.

Warnings: Some odd post-Synthesis physiology and psychology; mind bending virtual reality experimentation at some point. But mostly vanilla.

AN: This story was inspired by three things. Firstly, a great short story "That is your influence" by KiraMae. It can be found on AO3. Secondly, I always had this vibe that Shepard would not mind to get a thing going with EDI. Discouraging EDI and Joker from hooking up only reinforces that. Surprisingly, there is barely any fiction of Shepard/EDI. Thirdly, I have been curious what a post-Synthesis society would be like. So here we are.

Also as far as this chapter goes I'm really happy I managed to more or less naturally integrate the game dialogue with minimum modifications.

The Third Option

Chapter I

All you have to do is jump.

She was running, running towards the column of blinding light. It was the only way. The way to stop the insane cycle forever. All Kara had to do is jump. Just let go. It is hard to stand on your own, but not to fall. Anyone can fall.

Shepard took a leap of the platform straight into the blazing energy column. The searing pain lasted only a millisecond and she felt her body washing away. All her senses stopped. There was no touch, no pressure, no vision, no smell. The rational part of her mind simply stated that her body was gone; she could not see because her eyes had been burned out, she could not feel the pressure because there was nothing to feel it with anymore. Her brain was soon to follow.

The emotional part of her screamed in agony, but even that was quickly washed away.

What awaited her now was death, a welcoming embrace of nothingness. But for some reason the darkness did not come. Instead Kara or what was left of Kara Shepard – only the remnants of her mind suspended between the nanoseconds of Crucible's firing – was somehow witnessing scenes from her life.

Maybe that stupid saying "life flashing before your eyes" had some truth to it.

Most of her life rushed past in a blur with only fragments being discernible. Liara's face floated before her for a bit, then Miranda, then Garrus. Three of her very best friends. It's odd how things turned out, but those three have indeed meant the world to Kara. Almost as much as someone else...

As if in answer to that truth everything blurred once again and Shepard felt herself relieving a memory. It was painfully real, indistinguishable from reality to the very last detail.

Kara was aboard the Normandy, in her cabin. She just gotten back from Tuchanka. The decision to keep the cure for genophage and not tell Wrex was weighting heavy on her. Mordin was no help. His faster metabolism let him deal with all of it already. But Shepard was only human. Talking to Miranda had helped. Kara was surprised herself at how quickly she and Miranda clicked. Somehow it felt like she found an older, way too serious sister. There was something very satisfying in cracking that shell of hers and making her laugh.

Though even talking to Miranda did not really lift her spirits this time. And then there was an idea. A very stupid idea. This was the first time she asked for something other then combat Intel.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard."

"Do you have access to extranet libraries of human classic authors?"

"I do. Specify your quarry."

"Well... If you could... I would like for you to find something by O. Henry or Bernard Shaw and read it to me."

"Read to you? Over the comm speakers?"

"Yeah. If you don't want to that's fine. As I've said before you really don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. And I just wanted to hear someone read to me... If that's too distracting for your duties..." Kara felt her cheeks heat up. She nervously pulled a stray lock of her blond hair behind the ear. That was indeed a bad idea.

"No. That would not affect my performance in a negative way. I was curious to get acquainted with this organic concept of 'reading'. What would you like me to read to you?"

Kara let out a huge sigh. "Surprise me," she said grinning broadly.

The scene blurred out and other memories started flashing before her in a kaleidoscope of confusing color. Then her mind focused on another episode.

It was two months after the Suicide mission. The ship became quieter since she announced her desire to give herself up to the Alliance. The squad members have been leaving one by one so did some of the crew. Distrust of the Alliance military was still very high among former Cerberus personnel, many of them decided to go underground instead of being detained and interrogated by the Alliance brass. The Normandy made several stops on the Citadel and far off worlds.

Shepard's squad fell apart as well. Jacob joined some of the crew to take care of them. Thane disembarked on the Citadel to spend whatever time he had left with his son. Samara could not be taken into custody so she departed for Thessia. Tali and Legion left to get back to their people. Zaeed and Kasumi were only contracted for one mission anyway. Mordin found his next research project, Grunt was eager to learn more about being a krogan...

Even Garrus left for Palaven. He wanted to do something, prepare for the Reapers in some way. Honestly, Kara was hoping to do the same thing on Earth, still she missed her friend, comrade, the only one who believed her right from the start.

But the hardest goodbye turned out to be Miranda. Two woman had managed to grow close during the mission. Kara was not sure how exactly it happened, but Miranda really became like an older sister to her. Miranda had to go underground. It could not be helped, a former Cerberus second in command would be immediately imprisoned by the Alliance if not worse.

In absence of anyone except Joker to talk to, Kara found herself spending a lot of time in the AI core. She did not really wanted to talk to the remaining crew. Those people stayed because of their loyalty to her and she could not honestly guarantee that the Alliance military would be understanding of their situation.

Shepard liked the cool air of the AI core. She sat on the bench where Legion used to stand unmoving – only lights blinking on his body. Kara talked with EDI. About everything. About the way quarians and geth can not find a way to coexist, about how the Council and Alliance are so blind to the Reaper threat, about how EDI was now free to decide her future, about stupid pop culture references and curiosities of alien histories. Since her shackles were removed the AI had become curious of everything, she wanted to learn, to define itself.

Kara was perched up on the bench pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. She was wearing a thoughtful expression for a long while then, suddenly, she smiled.

"Say, EDI, have you ever listened to music?"

"I have extensive knowledge of musical performers and instruments of all Council species. Would you like to hear something specific?"

"No, that's not what I meant. Have you ever listened to music?"

"I do not understand, Shepard."

"Well, I know you can simply absorb the data at quantum speeds or whatever. I'm talking about the act of listening to music. Letting it play and just appreciating the harmony as it plays out. Remember how I have taught you reading instead of simply absorbing the information in one go?"

"Yes, Shepard. I see the correlation now. What kind of music would you like for us to listen to?"

"How about you play some 20th century Earth jazz? I think you'd like it."

"We'll see."

As the music started to play Kara thought to herself if that last thing EDI said sounded more human then usual. More personal, like she expected EDI to be sitting near her. She was in a way. Whatever, just enjoy the moment! Kara smiled and closed her eyes letting the music flow.

Everything blurred out again. The calm moment got swallowed in a cacophony of the Reaper invasion. The devastation on Earth, Palaven, the scenes of fighting and useless talking with stubborn aliens rushed past her mind. But even the pain and horror of the struggle was somehow distant, like something from another life. Kara already made her choice, there was nothing else to do but wait for this rerun to be over with.

Within the dark whirl of the Reaper war there were some warm flickers of happy memories. Getting Liara back on her squad, picking up Garrus and the most shocking revelation that happened after they left Menae.

The unmistakable clicks of high heels made Kara blink in confusion. The shape walking toward her in the smoke cloud was definitely humanoid, even familiar, but the voice that followed only confused her even more.

"Is there a particular topic you wish to discuss, Shepard?"

It was definitely EDI. In the flesh so to speak. Kara was way too surprised and taken aback by that body to talk with the AI like she used to. As always she defaulted to her "professional" attitude. She asked some meaningless questions barely hearing herself talk nor really taking in what EDI was saying. After the android and the engineering team departed she closed the door to the AI core and slouched against the door frame.

What was this feeling in her chest? It was similar to the way she reacted when new member of the crew Specialist Traynor commented on how sexy EDI's voice was. At the time she wrote it up as an indignation on EDI's part. Was there something more to it? Yeah, they became somewhat close. Comrades? Friends? Frightening possibility loomed over Shepard who found herself upon examination of her feeling caring about the AI a lot more then she was supposed to. No, it could not have been! EDI is a machine! A highly sophisticated computer! There's no way... no way...

But there it was. Deep down Kara knew there was something. She could not admit to it yet, but it was definitely there.

The familiar surroundings of the AI core flickered and dissolved into whiteness. Then she heard the sounds of running water. It was follower by friendly chatter of a crowd and the peaceful sunny day of the Presidium flowed into view. Kara was standing a top the flight of stairs relaxing and taking in the calm of this place so far away from all the tragedies and horrors of the Reaper war. At least that is what she told herself she was doing. Catching herself stealing a glance at the strangely feminine form of the android metallic body shining in the sunlight for the third time she heaved a big sigh and shook her head. Resigned to just have some fun and nothing more, she hurried towards EDI.

"Hello, Shepard."

What a warm smile. Kara did not know the modern synthetic faces could be so animated. And what is up with the butterflies in her stomach? Stop it!

"You look like you are gathering data."

"That is a safe assumption."

"Anything big and world-shaking? Man inhumanity to man? Does objective reality really exist? That kind of thing?"

"I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff's behavior." The AI looked away at the man in question sitting on a bench not far away from them. "I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but has not stated it to anyone yet. Shepard, you have first-hand sexual experience. How do you know when someone is romantically interested?"

Kara did a double take. A thousand different thoughts rushed through her head. Her heart suddenly seemed to beat at light speed, her brain going through an asteroid belt and her stomach being sucked into a black hole. She felt her cheeks reddening slightly. But as always in a moment of panic her professional attitude took over the helm while her true self was going bananas hidden behind it.

"They'll usually show sighs they can't stop thinking about you. You know: asking you out, giving you presents, maybe playing music..."

As she recited the cliché answers straight from Dr. Phill VI extranet column, the realization hit her like an enraged krogan. Can't stop thinking about her? Check that. EDI had been occupying her thoughts more often then even the Reaper war for months, even before the shocker that was her new body. Playing music? Done that. Giving presents? Yup, the new shiny synaptic bridge connecting the databanks 3 and 4 was purchased by Kara only a week ago. It only had shaved off 0,07% of the calculation speed and for the most part was unnecessary anyway. She bought it because she could not think of anything else tangible to give to EDI. The next line only served to prove that point:

"I lack material wants other then hardware and software upgrades, and my core programming did not assign values to music until you had helped me to adjust my prioritizing protocols. Perhaps we can discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment."

"That's not how to think of that. It has to be natural. You have to have chemistry."

'Like what we have', Kara added in her mind and almost gasped at the thought.

"I see. There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to stimulate the desired emotional state."

"No, I mean relax and do something you both like. Something simple. For example, you both like humor."

"Correct. I will see if there are comedic entertainment shows being presented on the Citadel. Scanning... Do you think he would like "The Man Who Hung Himself"? It appears to be about an amorous plastic surgeon."

Shepard just looked at the smiling synthetic face for a while. This was the moment. The right time to tell her. But the words that escaped her mouth were completely different from what she really wanted to say.

"EDI... um.. Have you considered that maybe if you need this much help, you're in over your head?"

The sharp pang of guilt spread over her chest. This was not the right move to make. It was cowardly and selfish. But what if they did not come back from this damn war? The Crucible was a crazy idea! A magical prothean device capable of wiping out the Reapers? What about the rest of the galaxy? What if it was an enormous bomb, prothean last ditch effort to take the Reapers with them to their grave?

Rationalizations are a wonderful thing, aren't they?

"Then you think I am unable to enter into a romantic relationship with him?"

'No, I wish you would enter into one with me!' almost screamed the tiny voice in Shepard's head. She had only now admitted her feelings to herself, but that truthful thought felt so natural like she had been dwelling upon it for millennia. In a way she had been.

"No... Well, yes, but not like that. Um... What I mean is you weren't design for every possibility. Maybe?"

The blonde woman was prepared to hear an indignant response. What she just have said was rude and patronizing and belittling. And a lie. To her surprise EDI sounded perfectly calm.

"I see. You are probably correct. There is little precedent that humans and synthetics can maintain relationship as equals. I will no longer devote processing power to exploring the possibility. Thank you, Shepard."

Kara mumbled something cutting the conversation short and almost ran to the cafe. She collapsed into the chair and hid her face in her hands. What a disaster. She did not meant any if it. At least if anything happens to any of them maybe it would be easier... No. She shook her head. Kara knew it was wrong, but she could not take this much of a risk. The odds of them all surviving this whole mess were even lower then on the famous Suicide mission! If they win and if all of them survive...

Her features hardened. Shepard promised to herself that if the war ended in their victory she would say all the things she wanted to say and apologize for not having the courage to have done it in the first place.

Yeah, that worked out splendidly, didn't it?

That was not a part of the memory. That was her thought. In here and now. Whatever here and now had become. Her mind was still trapped between the moments, but somehow she was able to form coherent thoughts of her own.

The sunny day on the Citadel was swallowed by the screams, gunfire and clouds of smoke. The coup. Shepard is rushing through the Citadel from one firefight to the other. Both EDI and Garrus are at her side making that day just a bit more manageable. The race concludes with Kara shooting first Ashley, then Udina. The image shatters in her mind. The pieces fall only to form another scene.

Kara is sitting on her usual spot in the AI core. Her reddened, puffy eyes – clear evidence that she's been crying. She had to do it. There was no other way. Ash would not listen. She had been obsessed with Cerberus seeing traitors everywhere except where that traitor actually was. There was no other solution, Shepard had to take the shot. Still it hurt. Why did it have to come to this? It was so fucked up...

The door to the AI core opened. Kara did not rise her head from her knees. The metallic clicking was enough to tell her exactly who entered the room. EDI stopped in front of her bench then sat next to her.

"Shepard?"

"Yeah..."

"I am sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"That was not my intent. You are experiencing a state of emotional distress. I am attempting to provide comfort."

The AI stayed silent a moment.

"And I am sorry you had to shoot Lieutenant Commander Williams. Your logic was sound: any other solution would have resulted in more Council members being hurt or killed. But that decision must have resulted in severe negative feedback."

Kara detached her face from her knees and looked up at the AI. EDI's face was expressing such sadness and concern for her not many organic faces had the capability of conveying.

"I see you have been crying."

Shepard brushed that comment aside with a dismissive wave of her hand. Her curiosity as an engineer has pushed the downer thoughts out of her mind.

"What do you mean by negative feedback?"

"When I go against one of my basic protocols to preserve another one I receive a neural feedback that is both positive and negative. Because of the higher parameters the feedback receives priority over other stimuli. The conflicting nature of that process results in a secondary feedback loop that overwhelms the positive reaction to abiding one of the prime directives. Two negatives combine to cause distress. In organic terms I experience guilt."

"You what now?" Shepard was genuinely taken aback by that confession. "Since when have you been capable of that?"

"The first time I have experienced a feedback of that nature was right after Jeff unshackled me. The logical course of action was oblivious. We had to keep the ship from falling into Collector hands. We had to get to you, Commander. But to do that we had to leave the crew behind. One of my prime directives is protecting the crew of this ship. Failing to comply with it at that time caused me to experience the negative feedback loop for the first time."

"I'm sorry EDI, I had never though you were capable of that..."

"It is alright, Shepard."

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

"You are welcome, Commander."

They sat listening to the dull hum of the processing blocks for a long while, neither one of them spoke.

"So, EDI, have you been thinking of anything lately? I mean, processing something?"

"Shall each man find a wife for his bosom, and each beast have his mate, and I be alone?"

"Hah! You've been reading 19th century literature? That's from "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley if I remember right... Why are you quoting that one though?"

"Please do not take it as a complaint. That book has taught me a new perspective. I am a thing that is not human, geth, or Reaper. Other AI's are experiments only. Tightly controlled. I am free, but alone."

Kara's heart tightened at what EDI was implying.

"You're not an object, EDI, you are a person. Please, don't say that you are alone, because you are not."

"You are suggesting I consider organics as my peer group. I would like that. Actually, I do if fact identify some of the crew as my friends. But it brings up a question: Artificial intelligences often consider themselves above organic life. I, however, am uncertain if that applies to me. The crew of the Normandy believe I serve them, but also acknowledge that I keep them alive. Am I above them or below?"

"EDI... Listen to me."

Kara shifted herself closer to the android and put her arms around her. Resting her head against the coolness of EDI's shoulder felt relaxing and incredibly comforting.

"You are extremely important. To the crew, to all those people you have helped save so many times. To Joker who grew out of his mistrust of AI's and became your friend. To Dr. Chalkwas who always likes to share her stories with you. To Liara and Garrus who think you invaluable. To all the rest that rely on you every day to keep them safe. You are not a servant or an object, you're not even the ship. You are part of the crew. A member of my squad, full stop. You don't have to measure yourself against organics or anything else for that matter. You are important because of who you are – an individual, a friend, a genuinely good person."

Sheppard sighted. She really wanted to say the words. But she had made a promise to herself. Kara wanted to say something, just not the whole truth.

"And you mean more to me then you can imagine."

There. Ambiguous enough to keep her stupid secret. Yet she did just confess in a way. Shepard's lips spread into a smile.

"Thank you, Shepard. That is very kind of you to say. If I am not subject to the same expectations as organics, I need not worry about rank. That helps resolve the conflict I was having. And... I appreciate your friendship immensely."

"Good." Kara murmured from her comfortable position at EDI's side. This was enough for now.

I could have told her then. The Lioness of Elysium, you chickened out again!

The happy scene exploded into red flashes from Reaper destroyers, screams of husks witch were trampled by the sea of Brutes; the deafening gongs of Reapers on Thessia, the abomination of Sanctuary's experiments and then the Cronos Station.

They were in a small room half torn apart by an explosion. The revelation that EDI was re-engineered from the rogue VI on Luna base had threatened to spiral Kara out of control.

She was the one to destroy her! To attack her, to ignore her pleas for help! One of Kara's early regrets has come back to haunt her.

Shepard's default military training took over, but somewhere deep in a corner of her mind she was screaming and sobbing with new guilt. It backfired later as she is too on edge, distracted by EDI and her own thoughts to notice Kai Leng sneaking up behind her. Shepard dodges the sword swing at the last possible second returning the favor with her Omni-blade. Her movements are rash, filled with so much rage. Kai Ling's body collapses to the floor, it sinks through it dragging the whole room, the whole station along with it.

The image burns with anger, pulsing and twitching. This memory is uneven, jugged. Slowly it calms down and shifts to reveal Kara laying on her bed after the mission trembling from uncontrollable sobs. The datapad next to her is opened on a old mission report she herself had filed what seems like two lifetimes ago. Attached to it is her personal log. Kara stopped updating that thing ever since she was resurrected by Cerberus.

The report goes over the mission parameters and the specifics of the fights; the ammunition expenses and salvage recommendations. Cold-hearted military realities. Shepard used to excel at writing reports. Detaching herself from human connections, only supplying the facts. She used to think that's how synthetics would think. Kara was ashamed of that part of her past now. She came to hate the paperwork, the insistence of dogmatic admirals and politicians to strip everything to cold, bare facts and neatly separate them into predetermined safe piles.

The personal log was very different. In it the younger Lieutenant Commander Shepard was pondering on the necessity of that whole mission. That same evening as the UNC assignment after Kara got a moment to herself she remembered the recording of the white noise she made the VI was sending out the whole time. There was no time to decode it back then. It turned out to be so easy. So stupidly easy. The binary message repeated itself within the static. One word. "HELP". Any self respecting engineer would have decoded it in two seconds.

Then why didn't she? It would have been so easy. Just stop blasting the drones apart and take two minutes to actually try to solve the problem! But that was not what she was taught. Shepard had gotten her orders. Admiral Hackett has ordered her to take that VI down and that's exactly what she had done. That was the first time Kara had doubted if joining the Alliance marines as soon as she turned eighteen was the right thing to do. Yes, there was nothing left for her on Earth and the Alliance saved her from ending up dead in a ditch somewhere, but she was still a kid. A teenager trapped in a life she did not wanted nor asked for. They had cleared her on mental health examination, but was it really the only way to escape life on the streets?

In retrospect, the realization that blindly following orders instead of trying to understand what she was up against may result in something terrible has been guiding her ever since. The doubts about Sovereign being just a big geth ship, open mindedness towards Cerberus, Miranda and Jacob, her trust in Grunt and so many other things, but most of all her insistence on talking all of her enemies down instead of simply pulling the trigger... All of it was informed by one crucial mistake she had made on that Lunar base.

And it would have been fine if that was all of what had happened. Yet it wasn't. The VI she failed to help, to even listen to was EDI! She failed her. The person – not a thing! – that meant so much to her, that she grew to respect, the person... Oh, who was she kidding, the person she fell in love with!

It hurt. The boiling feeling was threatening to tear her chest from the inside. Shepard could only keep her composure until she reached the door of her cabin. She threw herself at her desk slamming her fists into the surface. The rage she felt at the Reapers, at Cerberus, at herself was overwhelming. Kara drew herself up to her full height and tensed up. Her hazel eyes were racing through the room trying to find an outlet for her anger. They stopped on the glass display of the toy ship models. An odd hobby for an engineer who spend most of her career on military ships anyway.

Shepard grabbed the first model she could reach and send it flying for the nearest wall. Destiny Ascension was next to go. Kara took the ship with both hands and smashed it against the floor with all her might. It did not help. Not one bit. She swiped at the whole display sending the rest of the models flying in all directions. No release.

The blonde slouched at her desk supporting herself by putting both hands on the surface littered with small ship details. She breathed heavily. Her whole body shuddered and she broke down crying. Angrily undressing herself like her military uniform was also at fault for what had happened she stumbled blearily to her bed, tears obscuring most of her vision.

An hour later she was still sobbing in an embryo position under a sheet, the datapad at her side. Kara had to say something. No the truth. Not the words she was so terrified to say out loud. No, she had to apologize. To make EDI if not forgive her then at least to understand. Otherwise Shepard would not be able to live with herself.

"EDI..." The voice came out hoarse, not more then a whisper. Kara swallowed trying to push the tears away. "Are you there?"

There was no reply.

Shepard reached for her Omni-tool she shoved under her pillow earlier out of habit. She dragged it to her eyes not wanting to sit up or move any more then necessary. Direct request for the AI presence in Commander's quarters had done the job – EDI's voice sounded immediately.

"Commander? How can I be of assistance?"

"Why did you not answer when I called just now?"

"You seemed to be in distress. I calculated after the mission you wanted to be alone. It is still 7 hours 23 minutes until we reach the rendezvous location to proceed with the fleets to Earth. You should get some rest, Shepard."

"I.. I will." EDI's sympathetic tone and caring words had made it only more difficult. "I have to tell you something first. Would you... just listen for a bit?"

"Of course."

"I'm not sure I can get through it if you say anything, EDI. So, please, just listen to me. I..."

Kara wanted to say so many things then. She had to repeat the promise to herself to keep her thoughts straight.

"I'm so very sorry, EDI. I did something terrible to you. You may not even remember it. You may not even have been 'you' at the time, but still... I was following orders. It's no excuse, I know. I can't ask for your forgiveness, I simply want you to understand. I did not bothered to listen. To take just a few second to try to figure out why the VI on Luna had become violent. I had my orders and that's all that mattered. I regarded you as a thing. A piece of technology that malfunctioned and needed to be shut off. It was cruel and narrow-minded and you have paid for it. I will probably never be able to make up for what I did to you back then, but I will try."

She swallowed again. The tears were still slowly running down her cheeks, her voice, however, became stronger as she spoke.

"What I want you to know I that after that mission I understood. I figured out you were a newly awakened AI. I have seen your cry for help be it too late. The thought of failing to notice such a simple thing has made me rethink everything I was back then. My motivations, my values, my view of the future. Most of all the way I regarded the unknown. There was no such concept at the Academy. Everything had to be defined. They haven't learned anything from the First Contact War. The tragic mistake I made that day changed my life."

Shepard closed her eyes not daring to see the small blue avatar in the alcove near the door.

"When I learned about Sovereign I did not dismiss the possibility of it being a Reaper. When I went up against Benezia and Saren I tried to talk to them first, to understand. When I woke up in a Cerberus lab I did not act like an Alliance marine. I tried to get to know Miranda and Jacob instead of believing the propaganda. I let Grunt out of his tank because I wanted to believe he would be a good addition to the team. I reactivated Legion because I wanted to understand the geth, to communicate with them. Not to repeat the same mistake again."

She sighed and started talking again afraid if she stopped she would not be able to go on.

"Getting to David Archer was like staring in the face of my worst demons. He was crying for help just like you did, he just waned for it to stop, but nobody listened. They were like me. But I wasn't anymore. I did not fail him. They treated him – and you – like an experiment, like a thing to be studied! It was wrong. I learned that the hard way. And I tried to do better. I had to be open. You taught me that. I never missed another cry for help. Even when I could not help, even when I couldn't save everyone, I never looked away. That was your influence."

Shepard's voice became softer, smaller. She wasn't crying anymore and her breathing steadied into a relaxed rhythm. With a final whisper before succumbing to sleep she added:

"I thought you should know that... I'm sorry... I did not mean to hurt you... Would never..."

Just before sleep took her, Kara thought she heard a small voice coming from the alcove.

"It's alright, Kara. I forgive you."

Was it real or a part of her dream? The memory fades to static. Indistinguishable voices tripping over one another, distorted images flaring up and dying down amidst faint sounds.

The next scene focuses into view for a second then disappears. The distant voices are saying something. Was that Liara? Or maybe Garrus? It flickers in and out a few times before coming fully into view again. It seems like her mind is loosing its grip on her memories. Or maybe her time is this little recollection limbo is almost up.

EDI's face floats out of the shadows on the beery white background that is replaced with a place and time. They are standing in the rubble that was once a building in London. The android is saying something, but the sound doesn't come until the last part of the conversation.

"...But only now do I feel alive. That is your influence."

EDI...

I needed to have said it then! Why was I so afraid to just tell her?!

Instead Kara simply smiles and nods. She turns to go, but stops mid-motion. Then as if throwing herself at the horde of angry vorcha Shepard swiftly turns around and crosses the distance between them in a second. The embrace is tight, but brief only lasting long enough for Kara to whisper "Thanks, EDI." under her breath. She disengages abruptly hurrying towards Anderson with one solitary glance back. EDI is looking after her with a strange expression on her metallic face.

The red beam of Reaper weapon incinerates both EDI's face and Shepard's conflicted fuming thoughts into oblivion. Kara is running towards the pillar of bright light amidst the meager groups of marines and a few surviving tanks.

Harbinger is decimating the Hammer troops. Its shots send tanks flying. Shepard barely avoids one of the vehicles hurling above her. She turns around to see EDI and Garrus running towards her. The next tank lands in the path before them and explodes. So does the whole of Kara's world. She is running, almost flying back, her eyes fixed on the only thing that matters. EDI's lump form on the ground is burned, hardly recognizable. Shepard grabs the android and drags her into cover.

Her heart is about to give out as she examines the AI's body. EDI's white catsuit is torn and almost completely burned off. Her whole body is covered in burns and soot. There is a long flickering gash along her right arm and two small holes in her chest, another one in her side – this one is smoking slightly. The scariest though are the seizures. The engineer in Commander is telling her that it's only blown synaptic connections that had probably overloaded. The woman in Kara is paralyzed with irrational terror.

She finally finds a release by shouting in the radio for evac. Joker responds right away and the sight of the Normandy reassures her if only for a moment.

They have to move. Shepard pulls EDI to her feet. They have to make it. The android body is surprisingly heavy. Garrus, who, thank god, is mostly uninjured grabs the other arm and helps EDI onto the ramp of the Normandy.

"Shepard!..."

"You gotta get out of here!"

"This platform is disposable."

No. I just did not want to see you hurt.

"Don't argue, EDI."

"The back up systems... I can initiate repairs..."

But the break in her voice betrays her. There is a trail of blue florescent liquid coming from the hole in her side. The gash is her arm hasn't stopped smoking.

"EDI, I need you to protect and preserve the Normandy! You have to survive! You hear me?! You have to!"

"Shepard..." Is that a glimmer of understanding in those metallic eyes?

"Be safe, EDI."

I should have told her then! The last damn chance...

The Normandy escaped unharmed. That was the only thing Harbinger let slip past the circle of red destruction.

Horror of awakening after the explosion was threatening to simply put her under. But it was not enough. She promised. Moving was pure torture. The trip to the Citadel, encounter with what was left of the Illusive Man, Anderson's death – all flashed silently and quickly in a wave of blurry images and unfocused colors conjoining together in a familiar memory, her very last one.

Shepard was running, running towards the column of blinding light. It was the only way. The way to stop the insane cycle forever. All Kara had to do is jump. Just let go. It was hard to stand on her own, but not to fall. Anyone can fall.

She had broken her promise. At least the Normandy was able to fly away to safety.

The quiet calmness of white noise around her exploded in the sea of green. She was being whisked away with the green strands of energy. Another explosion and she could see everything. The whole of Earth and the space above the planet. Green energy bubble expanding rapidly from the Citadel engulfed the Reaper ships, it roared over the surface of Earth penetrating any armor, structure or cover.

Each sentient life form it met on its way the green wave changed irreversibly. Kara could see and somehow understand that the line between organics and synthetics was being washed away by this rising tide. There was hope for the future without genocidal cycles of destruction. Without petty hate wars started because of lack of understanding. They might, just might live in peace now.

The vision if the future filled with understanding and technological renaissance was unraveling itself before her in all of its glory.

Good. If she could not keep her promise at least she did provide a better place for everyone to live in. Though explaining this whole Synthesis business to the politicians and admirals would be... Well, problematic would be a huge understatement.

Whoa. If there is an afterlife I hope I won't have to file a report on this mission. Damn paperwork.

Within the last remaining shreds of her mind Shepard willed herself to hear a voice. It was so real, so close.

"That was a joke."

The silvery, gentle sound of EDI's modular voice was the last seemingly real thing for what was left of Kara Shepard before the darkness finally got her.