AN: It's been a while since I've posted one of these – sorry for the delay but I have been busy working on some cool dog videos (watch for the Braveheart videos on YouTube after New Year's) and my original stories.

This segment seems a bit…raunchy to me, so read at your own discretion. I just couldn't get them to stop talking about Mulder's…lunch. Enjoy.

Overheard

By Dark Poltergeist

The Break Room

Sitting quietly at her desk, Agent Harris realized that she had been staring at the same report, reading the same paragraph for ten minutes. Perhaps her doctor was right and she shouldn't have insisted in coming back to work so quickly. But there was work to be done and she wanted to do her part. Despite this her mind kept slipping back to the adventure she had been on with Agent Doggett, the excitement and adrenalin rush she got from investigating the paranormal. It was amazing, and she was glad she had the experience. Her respect and admiration for Agents Mulder and Scully grew enormously after experiencing the paranormal firsthand, and she was so grateful that they had actually come to see her in the hospital. She tried not to be starstruck but it was hard not to be given the high opinion she held of the two of them. Mind you she was convinced they had something between them, but that it was genuine feeling, something very special. Now she was back to accounting and though she was loathe to admit it, rather content to be back at a desk job. Apparently she just wasn't cut out for investigating the supernatural after all, despite her curiosity.

She pushed the pile of papers away from her and closed her eyes as the words swam in front of her. She had skipped breakfast this morning and clearly that was not a wise thing to do. It was just a little early but she felt justified in taking her lunch break if she were to remain functional for the rest of the day. Nodding with her sound justification, she picked up her small black purse and left for the break room.

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The small window looking into the break room from the corridor showed that it appeared to be empty, so much the better. She stepped into the short hallway that led into the room and stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of familiar voices.

"Something wrong, Mulder?"

"You have to eat more than that, you're eating for two now."

"Mulder, are you kidding me? All I do is eat."

She was pleased that her heroes were here, they had been so nice to her in the hospital and she wanted to thank them again, but some inner voice told her to stay where she was and listen quietly.

"Food should tempt you." Mulder's voice dropped so that it sounded even more sexy than normal, and Harrison almost swooned at the sound of it. In her private moments she could admit that she found the older man incredibly attractive. "Anything else tempt you, Scully?"

There was a pause and the sound of something being opened.

"Hmm? Mulder?" Her voice was brimming with anticipation. "What do you have there?"

"Scully! Don't tell me that you're interested in my sausage?" The amusement was evident in his voice.

"Well…maybe…"

Sausage? Sausage? Harris's mind swam with the possibilities. Rumors had flown about these two for years but this was a break room. It would be so inappropriate for him to be showing Scully anything other than food…

Mulder chuckled.

"It is tempting, isn't it?" A pause, and a little shuffling of something. "Look at it, Scully. So fresh and plump, just waiting for you to…"

"…bite into it," she finished, her voice low with want.

"Whoa, there G-woman. Who said you could bite this! That would hurt it."

Oh. My. God.

"But I want it."

The desire in her voice was evident, there was no doubt that she meant every word.

"You should want it. It's a temptation for you isn't it? Succulent, meaty, and sometimes…juicy." He lingered over the last word, drawing it out.

Scully made a noise that sounded somewhere between a whimper and a growl. "Go on," she said in a sultry voice.

Just what in the world were these two about to do? In the break room for God's sake!

"If handled properly this sausage can do wonderful things."

Harris tried very hard not to think about how attractive Mulder was and the innuendo he had just put out there.

"Tell me about it," she said in a low voice and she heard Agent Mulder groan.

"First of all, it was made in the US of A, home grown pure beef. It's Jewish."

"Jewish sausage?" A note of exasperation crept into Scully's voice.

"Well, okay, maybe only half."

"How can it be only half Jewish?"

Her partner just chuckled.

Mulder!" There was the sound of her hand hitting him.

'All right, already. Jeez!" He dropped his voice again. "It is plump, nice length and width, and ready to do your bidding."

For just a few moments Harris felt herself drift into a daydream where she had Mulder do her bidding…Stop it, Harris. Focus.

"My bidding?"

"Always," Mulder snickered and dropped his voice to a loud whisper. "And I hear that if it's handled right it will get even fuller…and juicier."

Harris put her hands on her ears but somehow couldn't bring herself to leave.

"Mulder!" There was the sound of another muffled slap and laughter.

"You should try it, Scully, you'll like it. Here, you want to rub it?"

No, no, no, no! I don't want to rub it either…

"I don't think so. It looks full enough to me."

"It's ready for you, Scully. It's waiting for you…"

"So tempting..." the desire was back in her voice again.

"Come on, Scully, you know you want it. You know you need it." He paused. "How long since you've had a real sausage? I mean a really good one?" his voice was low again.

No, don't look. No matter what, don't look… Harris lectured herself.

"But it's so wrong. I mean…it's not really what I want to eat." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Not now. Not like this."

"It's not a bad thing, Scully. Here, let me help you." There was the sound of some rustling. "Don't you remember how to do this? It's been a long time since you've had something so big, hasn't it?"

Scully laughed. "You're awful."

"Yes, and…you're welcome." He paused. "Ready? So hold it like this." There was a small pause and the sound of more rustling. "That's right. Squeeze it just a little…ooh, Scully," he groaned, and she giggled. "You're so good."

Do not faint, do not faint, this can't be what they are really doing.

"I guess I'm a natural with sausage, I always liked them as a girl," she said in a husky voice.

A slight pause. "You what? No, never mind. Back to what's in your hand. Hold it tight. Doesn't it feel good? See how full it is, what you do to it?

"What if I do this?" Scully asked, and Mulder yelped.

"That was just mean. You're not supposed to bite the sausage like that." His voice was sullen.

What had she just done?

"You mean there's a technique to it?"

"There's always a technique to it, G-Woman. Let me show you, is your bun ready?"

Her bun? Harris's mouth dropped in shock. They should be reported for lewd activity in the break room. Gods! All the rumors were true about them! They were having an affair and obviously not shy about where they…did things.

"For you and your sausage? Yeah, anytime."

"Now we're talking."

"Closer, Scully. Yeah, like that."

A sound of more rustling.

"Now lean against the counter and lift that up," Mulder instructed.

"Mulder? What are you going to do with that sausage?"

"What do you think I'm going to do? I've already put it in your bun." He said in a very matter of fact tone of voice. "Now I'm offering you some flavor.'

"Will I like it?"

"You have before, haven't you? You'll love it. I promise." He grunted.

"Stop moving, and let me hold that," she said.

"You stop moving. How am I going to get the mayonnaise in there?"

Mayonnaise? That could only be…no…he couldn't meant that? Right there in the break room? Harris slapped her hands over her mouth so that she could remain silent.

"Mayonnaise? On sausage? How do you know that I like that?" she all but purred.

"I know everything about you, Scully. Including the fact that you often have mayonnaise with your sausage. At least you do now." There was a slight rustling sound again.

What was he doing?

"Might that have something to do with how I got in this condition?"

"You aren't implying that the sausage and mayonnaise that was responsible for that was mine?"

"There's nothing I have to imply, is there?" she said with an air of smugness to her voice.

Oh. My. God. It was true. Mulder was the father of her baby.

Mulder grunted his assent and there was the sound of some fumbling around.

"There, the sausage is exactly where it needs to be, see how well it fits?"

Scully sighed. "Not bad, Mulder, not bad at all."

"You want to taste it, Scully? Remember, no biting yet."

"You want me to lick it?"

"Yeah…taste it, enjoy the texture, the saltiness of it…"

Was Agent Scully really tasting his…in the breakroom? Oh. My. God.

More rustling, and then a moan of pleasure from Scully.

"Oh, that's really good. I mean really good."

"That's it, Scully. Wrap your lips around it, enjoy it, suck on it…"

Harris couldn't take anymore, her mind was reeling at what she was overhearing. She knew the two agents loved each other, when they visited her in the hospital it was obvious from the way that they gazed at each other and the way they touched each other. But the fact that they were engaging in carnal activities in the break room was simply too much for her to take, as was the images of Agent Mulder that she couldn't seem to remove from her imagination. Completely embarrassed, for them, and herself, she turned and left, trying to ignore the last comment she heard as she was going down the hall.

"So, Scully, are you ready for the mayonnaise?"

What really happened

The pathology lab was busy as usual when Mulder entered it looking for Scully. She was sitting in a chair, leaning back and looking exhausted. He noted her face was pale and she was resting her hands on her ever expanding belly. It amazed him that Scully, his Scully was pregnant with his child. When they started sleeping together, due to her diagnosed infertility, this was the last thing either of them expected to happen. It was nothing short of a miracle.

But despite Mulder's efforts, Scully continued to overwork herself and he was determined to put a stop to it. Or at least distract her enough so that she took better care of herself.

He cleared his throat and she looked up at him in surprise. "Mulder, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, and remind you that it's time for lunch."

"Oh, that." She waved a hand in the air. "I'll get to it."

"Yes, you will."

"You sound certain of that."

"I am. We are going to lunch."

Scully glanced at the clock. "It's only 11am, it's too early."

"It's a perfectly acceptable time for lunch, especially since we both were woken up early by junior," he stepped over to Scully and gently placed his hand on her stomach.

They shared a look of love and Mulder raised her hand up and kissed it.

"Mulder, we're at work, you shouldn't…"

"Scully, I'm pretty sure we're not a secret…"

"Yes, but nothing's been confirmed. And we shouldn't end the speculation."

"I guess." Mulder stepped back. "But you have to eat."

"I'm not that hungry."

"You sure? I recall you eating a lot yesterday."

"Maybe that's why I'm not so hungry today." She shrugged. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. You are going to eat lunch if I have to haul you to the break room myself."

"Oh, really? Getting all machismo on me, are you?" She quirked at eyebrow at him, but Mulder could tell that she was amused, so life was still good.

"Yes, if that's what it takes." He gently propelled her towards the door. "It's lunch time, Scully. As I recall you've had a craving for sausage lately. In more ways than one." He gave her a suggestive leer.

She stopped in her tracks and regarded him with a deadpan look. "You're right, sausage does make me hungry, in many different ways," she appraised him from head to toe, her gaze lingering on his hips before looking back to him. "Damn hormones," she sighed and turned her ungainly body into the hallway.

Mulder watched Scully as they removed their lunches from the refrigerator. When she unpacked hers he saw a tiny salad, and a hardboiled egg. He frowned.

"Something wrong, Mulder?"

"You have to eat more than that, you're eating for two now."

"Mulder, are you kidding me? All I do is eat."

"Food should tempt you." Mulder's voice dropped to his bedroom voice and he spoke quietly into Scully's ear. "Anything else tempt you, Scully?"

She smiled at him, tolerant and amused by his innuendos, and watched with interest as he opened his lunch.

"Hmm? Mulder? What do you have there?"

"Scully! Don't tell me that you're interested in my sausage?" The amusement was evident in his voice.

"Well…maybe…" Scully gave him a saucy little smile.

Mulder chuckled.

"It is tempting, isn't it?" He paused and pulled the Italian sausage out of the sandwich bag he had it in along with the bun and waved it under Scully's nose, noticing her obvious interest in said sausage. "Look at it, Scully. So fresh and plump, just waiting for you to…"

"…bite into it," she finished, the desire evident in her voice.

"Whoa, there G-woman. Who said you could bite this! That would hurt it."

"But I want it." Scully dropped her eyes for just a moment and when she looked back at him, he saw pools of molten desire as she looked at him. Or maybe it was the sausage? Her pregnancy hormones continually mixed him up. He gave her a quizzical look before continuing to torment her.

"You should want it. It's a temptation for you isn't it? Succulent, meaty, and sometimes…juicy." He lingered over the last word, drawing it out.

Scully made a noise that sounded somewhere between a whimper and a growl. "Go on," she said in a sultry voice.

He stepped into her space, holding the sausage in front of her face. "If handled properly this sausage can do wonderful things."

"Tell me about it." She licked her lips and Mulder groaned.

"First of all, it was made in the US of A, home grown pure beef. It's Jewish."

"Jewish sausage?" A note of exasperation crept into Scully's voice.

"Well, okay, maybe only half."

"How can it be only half Jewish?"

Her partner just chuckled.

Mulder!" She hit his arm.

'All right, already. Jeez!" He dropped his voice again as he modeled the sausage in front of her. "It is plump, nice length and width, and ready to do your bidding."

"My bidding?"

"Always," Mulder snickered and dropped his voice to a loud whisper. "And I hear that if it's handled right it will get even fuller…and juicier."

"Mulder!" Scully couldn't help herself, she hit him and then laughed at him.

"You should try it, Scully, you'll like it. Here, you want to rub it?" He raised an eyebrow at her in a deliberate innuendo.

"No, it looks full enough to me."

"It's ready for you, Scully. It's waiting for you…" He floated the sausage in front of her face again.

"So tempting..." the desire was back in her voice again, even though she didn't eat much meat as part of her regular diet.

"Come on, Scully, you know you want it. You know you need it." He paused. "How long since you've had a real sausage? I mean a really good one?" his voice was low again.

"But it's so wrong. I mean…it's not really what I want to eat." She dropped her voice to a whisper but continued to eye the sausage. "Not now. Not like this."

"It's not a bad thing, Scully. Here, let me help you." Mulder pull out a hot dog bun from a different bag. "Don't you remember how to do this? It's been a long time since you've had something so big, hasn't it?"

Scully laughed. "You're awful."

Harris silently nodded her head. He was, he really was.

"Yes, and…you're welcome." He paused. "Ready? So hold it like this," Mulder put his arms around her and guided her hands as if she had never held a hot dog bun in her hand before. "That's right. Squeeze it just a little…ooh, Scully," he groaned and she giggled at his ridiculousness. "You're so good."

"I guess I'm a natural with sausage, I always liked them as a girl,"

"You what?" Mulder seemed shocked for a moment as his mind was obviously elsewhere. "No, never mind. Back to what's in your hand. Hold it tight. Doesn't it feel good? See how full it is, what you do to it?"

"What if I do this?" Scully asked as she took a bite from the sausage, catching Mulder's thumb in the process causing him to yelp.

"That was just mean. You're not supposed to bite the sausage like that." His voice was sullen now.

"You mean there's a technique to it?"

"There's always a technique to it, G-Woman. Let me show you, is your bun ready?"

"For you and your sausage? Yeah, anytime." Scully raised an eyebrow and studied Mulder in appreciation once again.

"Now we're talking." He chose to ignore her look and how it was affecting his own personal sausage.

"Closer, Scully," he urged and backed her against the counter, holding the sausage and bun up between them once again. "Yeah, like that."

"Now lean against the counter and lift that up," Mulder instructed indicating the mustard bottle

"Mulder? What are you going to do with that sausage?"

"What do you think I'm going to do? I've already put it in your bun." He said in a very matter of fact tone of voice. "Now I'm offering you some flavor.'

"Will I like it?"

"You have before, haven't you? You'll love it. I promise." He grunted, trying to get the reluctant mayonnaise bottle to open.

"Stop moving, and let me hold that," she said.

"You stop moving. How am I going to get the mayonnaise in there?"

"Mayonnaise? On sausage? How do you know that I like that?" Scully couldn't believe she had just said that, but again she blamed her hormones for these strange cravings.

"I know everything about you, Scully. Including the fact that you often have mayonnaise with your sausage. At least you do now." He took the food from her hand and set it on a nearby plate, and enveloped her within his arms.

"Might that have something to do with how I got in this condition?"

"You aren't implying that the sausage and mayonnaise that was responsible for that was mine?"

"There's nothing I have to imply, is there?" she gave him a smug look.

Mulder grunted his assent and let go of her, then he turned and presented the meal to her on his plate.

"There, the sausage is exactly where it needs to be, see how well it fits?"

Scully sighed and smiled at him fondly. "Not bad, Mulder, not bad at all."

"You want to taste it, Scully? Remember, no biting yet."

"You want me to lick it?"

"Yeah…taste it, enjoy the texture, the saltiness of it…"

They stared into each other's eyes and both felt the heat rising between them. Scully reached for the plate and removed the bun and sausage. She ran her tongue lightly over the skin of the meat, and then moaned at the amazing flavor of it.

"Oh, that's really good. I mean really good."

"That's it, Scully. Wrap your lips around it, enjoy it, suck on it…"

Scully knew exactly what she was doing as she continued to lightly lick the sausage, all the while eying Mulder who was now fidgeting uncomfortably.

"So, Scully, are you ready for the mayonnaise?" he asked as he took the plate from her once again and set it down on the counter. Then he pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her from behind, and pressed himself against her.

"So we're making an early day of work?" she chirped feeling his need for her.

"Yup, and eat the damn sausage so that we can get out of here before something unfortunate happens," he whispered in her ear, grinding against her derriere.

"Hey, Mulder, you're the one that offered me your sausage! Don't whine because it's so full and…luscious…"

"You're killing me here," he said and reluctantly backed away. He walked over to a nearby table and pulled out the chair for her.

Gratefully she sat down and without another word ate Mulder's lunch. When she finished she looked over at him and he wiped a bit of mayonnaise from the side of her mouth.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"No problem."

She suddenly looked alarmed. "Mulder, I just ate your lunch. What are you going to eat?"

"It's okay, Dana. You need it more than I do. I'll eat later, I promise."

Scully gave him a dubious look, but nodded.

"Thanks," she said and extended her hand across the table to take his hand and lace their fingers together.

He looked at their intertwined hands in surprise and raised an eyebrow. "Scully, we're at work."

"I don't care." Her gaze was soft. "Thanks for taking care of me, of us, Mulder."

"My pleasure. Gotta keep you and junior there safe."

She squeezed his hand and nodded. "So do I still get my mayonnaise later? Along with your sausage?"

"If you want it," Mulder grinned at her.

"Think I can go home sick? Want to take me home?"

He squeezed her hand. "I like playing hooky with you. Let's go."

She nodded as he assisted her to her feet, and still holding hands, they left the break room.

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AN: So I hope you enjoyed this installment, reviews are appreciated and welcome. If you have any suggestions for people you'd like to see misinterpret Mulder and Scully and/or situations please send them along in a PM. I'll look at everything and pick the ones that would fit well into this series. You are all wonderful and thanks for reading.