Absolute Zero
by GW-Imp

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Gundam Wing. But of course, I don't, and I never said I did.

Notes: As usual, this is a non romantic, non yaoi fic. I have added some things that can be taken as shounen-ai but in all truthfulness, they are not. I've been getting a lot of complaints of Heero seeming to be too innocent. I would like to remind you that this is an Out Of Character fic for Heero and that means Out Of Character.

1. Descent

          Heero vaguely listened to the noise of the battle going on around him, blood oozing slowly from his ears. His body was shaking from the electricity ripping through his organs. And through all the pain and suffering, the feeling of being smothered, all the heart-stopping, mind-numbing, excruciating pain his mind held onto the events, the mistakes and miscalculations that had dumped him into the pit he was in now. He remembered all too clearly the message he had received from Dr. J warning him of a new weapon advancement OZ was making. An electrified, retractable whip mounted on either arm of the mobile doll. They had all made extensive and precise preparations for dealing with the situation. Every movement had been planned out; they all knew exactly what to do. The idea was to keep OZ from completing its new weapon and destroying the data. It had been easy to get back ups of the info and destroy all the original copies that OZ still had. In fact, to Heero it had seemed too easy. His suspicions proved to be correct; OZ had deliberately allowed the pilots to steal their data. They had falsified their documents to make it appear as though they had not yet completed the new weapon when in fact it had been finished a good while beforehand. And who better to test the new product on than the pilots it had been designed to combat in the first place?

          Heero recounted as many errors and mistakes as he could before his mind began to slip away. His body was going numb and yet every nerve was on fire; the electricity coursing through him was unbearable. From time to time, when the red cleared, the deep red that he knew to be his own blood, he caught glimpses of another gundam. It was wielding its scythe-like weapon almost carelessly, its pilot disgusted with Heero's fate. When there was less blood pouring out of his ears, he could hear Duo's voice. It was faint but he could hear the emotional charge in it. Duo was telling him to fight back, to move, to do something…but there was nothing he could do. There were twelve of the vines feeding electricity into the gundam; all its systems were overloading, its armor was beginning to melt and he himself was being electrocuted. Soon he could process nothing, his mind was so scrambled. Flashes of his life and Duo yelling at him rippled violently through his mind. The Zero system was still sending information to his failing brain, useless now because of his inability to move. He felt the mobile dolls release Wing Zero, a small jerk as they were destroyed from behind both by Deathscythe and a few mobile suits stolen by the other pilots. The freed gundam floated lifelessly through space. Amidst the jumble of sensations, one bubbled up and grew, rising to the surface. He was falling… Heero was falling slowly, eternally…he imagined the ground rushing up at him… Then suddenly there was pain. It consumed him quickly, bringing him back to reality. The same word was flashing all around him. Downloading the sirens screamed at him, downloading, downloading…his head tossed involuntarily, trying to escape the blinding lights bombarding his eyes. Downloading, system downloading…

          "MAKE IT STOP!!" He couldn't even hear his own voice crying out. He was breaking, losing himself, his strength, his mind, his entire being was dissolving. 'Falling, I'm falling…' His eyes were forced wide open only to be met with huge green  numbers scrolling down the screen. Ones and zeros whizzed by, the very foundation of the Zero system. And there still, in front of all of them was the word downloading, blinking on and off, constantly, never ceasing, driving him insane. It reflected in his eyes, in his mind, it was enveloping him, taking him over, becoming a part of him, seizing control. His body twitched unnaturally. 'I am falling…into darkness…'

***

          Duo had undone his safety restraints before Deathscythe even touched the ground.

          "Don't you die on me Heero…" he growled, jumping from the open cockpit to the muddy grass below. "You've never been able to kill yourself before now, this ain't the time to do it right…" He stopped short before reaching Wing Zero. Its cockpit was opening.
          "Heero…come on buddy, I know you're okay…" A small figure, shadowed by the canopy of the trees, emerged from the severely damaged gundam. It stood there for a moment before its balance began to waver. Heero plummeted just as the other pilots ran into the clearing, having ditched the mobile suits. Duo watched in horror as Heero's limp form fell, bouncing off of Wing Zero in several places. His feet carried him recklessly toward the jerking body on the ground. The other three pilots crowded around them as Duo pulled the helmet still crackling with electricity from Heero's head. Heero's eyes were open but Duo could see almost none of the deep blue that his irises possessed; his eyes were rolled back impossibly far, the muscles having gone wild like all the others affected by the seizure. It took a moment for Duo to lift the shaking boy, his space suit covered with slick, glossy blood that threatened his grip. Once Heero was in his arms his head lolled haphazardly, foam spurting randomly from his open mouth. His chocolaty brown hair, which had previously been standing straight up on his head, now pulled toward the metallic areas of Duo's own suit.

          "This is bad…" Duo murmured. "We need to get him to a hospital now." The other pilots seemed to agree. They were near the safehouse so they went there first to try to locate a nearby hospital. Heero's body shook furiously with wild tremors as they moved along. It was as though he had absolutely no control over his limbs at all. Duo's own heart nearly stopped when he thought Heero's missed a beat. He was determined not to lose the boy, his companion, his ally, his friend…he was willing to do almost anything to save him. He partially blamed himself for not anticipating what had happened. Why hadn't he seen that the mobile suits had been distracting him, diverting his attention, luring him away from Wing? It was all so the mobile dolls could move in and do exactly what they had done. Only instead of killing Heero, they had left him helpless and unable to function. Aside from the fact that this was much like death anyway, since he was still alive he could feel pain. He was suffering and could do nothing to help himself. Those soldiers would pay for what they had done to Heero, Duo vowed silently. One thing was for sure; OZ had not seen the last of the Great Shinigami.

          "Please…" Heero's voice was becoming hoarse. Duo looked down at the pained expression on the Japanese boy's face. "Make it stop…" A pang of guilt and fear split Duo's insides. "Make it stop…" Heero almost fell from Duo's arms as he launched into another fit of seizures. He needed help fast, faster than they could get it to him. And he didn't want to think about what would happen should they be even a second too late…

          "Don't worry buddy, you're going to be just fine, I promise you."

***

          Heero walked calmly through the intimidating darkness. Empty blackness stretched on in every direction, clouding his mind, trapping him in this one narrow place. Step by step he squeezed his way through the wide open area, cramped in infinite space. The sound of his footsteps echoed off of invisible walls, walls that he was sure were not there. He couldn't see or feel the barriers, which is why he didn't believe they existed. But there was definitely something standing in between him and his memories. A small green ball bounced quietly into his path. A boy equally as small walked up behind it. The boy lifted his head slightly, his eyes still hidden by messy brown hair. His tiny voice came as a shock to Heero.

          "Hello." he said. "Hello." Heero nodded as a way of acknowledging the greeting. He watched carefully as the boy's head raised further. There was a brief hint of a dark blue under the hair, under long, full eyelashes.

          "Wake up."

          Heero's eyelids snapped open. 'I'm alive…' he observed. He stared up at the white hospital lights for a moment. From nowhere came an insulting, aggravating noise as his bed contracted, forcing him to sit up. A doctor and several nurses stood in front of him but they were far away, too far to reach. They were standing at the foot of the hospital bed. 'Why did it take so long?' he wondered. 'It took so long to realize…why did it take so long?' The doctor moved closer to him, a small grin spreading over his weather-beaten face, pushing up his rather thick glasses.

          "How are you feeling…?" He took a moment to check a clipboard. "How are you feeling, Heero?" The man looked back up from his clipboard, still smiling that pure, sincere smile. All he received was a blank stare. The boy's mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes were wide, giving the impression of an infantile innocence that no teen could possess. The mocha colored hair covering his head still stood on end though not as rigidly as before. His smile faltered.

          "Heero, do you understand me?" Heero's arm twitched and then he was completely still. 'I am not here…' the soldier boy thought. 'Part of me is gone. I am not whole. I am not here…' The doctor now walked right up to Heero's side. He produced a tiny flashlight, clicked it on and shined it in Heero's left eye. The pupil contracted as it should have, but it was nearly three seconds before it did so when it should have reacted instantly. All traces of his smile vanished, replaced by a frown.
          "Nurse, it appears he has suffered some brain damage." A young blonde nurse stepped forward.
          "How bad do you think it is, doctor?" Her face pulled into an expression of fear as she watched the doctor slump in a hopeless manner such as she had never seen before. She waited several moments but received no reply.

          Duo nearly rocketed out of his seat in the waiting room as the emergency doors swung open and a few people walked through.

          "Is Heero okay?" he demanded. "Can we see him?" One of the elderly gents nodded.

          "But I feel I must warn you…" he said in a voice so laden with wisdom it was deeper than it seemed its owner could make it. "You may not like what you see." Duo nodded and braced himself for all the scars Heero would have and all the blood that would be covering him. All of that he could have dealt with easily. But what he saw when Heero was brought forth filled him with so many incontrollable emotions he could not have told himself what he was feeling. There was no blood, there were no scars but it seemed to Duo that there was no Heero either. The boy that sat quietly staring out into space from the seat of a wheelchair, mouth partially open, hair resembling a hedgehog could not possibly be Heero Yuy. Heero would never have allowed himself to be reduced to such a state. The braided American could barely find the words to speak.

          "What's…wrong with him?" Duo asked quietly. The man who had spoken first answered him.

          "I apologize to you all. But it seems that Heero has become autistic." A small, half-hearted laugh blew through Duo's lips as his cobalt eyes traveled to the floor.

          "Well then maybe he can become a famous painter." His voice carried deep resentment. Quatre stepped toward Duo.

          "Duo, he doesn't mean artistic -." Trowa silenced Quatre by shaking his head. Wufei stated what Trowa had already observed.

          "He knows what the doctor meant." Dark blue eyes moved over Duo's stiff form. The mind controlling them didn't recognize the information they sent to it. Who was this person standing in front of him? He felt as though the boy was not completely alien to him. There was definitely something familiar about him. But his mind was working too slowly and there was something on top of his memories, something suppressing them and holding them down. His mouth moved involuntarily, trying to form words. The other four pilots stared at him in wonder as an almost inaudible sound floated from Heero's throat.

          "Two…"

***

          That night all the pilots had returned to the safehouse, currently one of the Winner mansions on earth. There was much debate over what Heero had said and also over his condition. For some reason, unknown as of yet, the Wing pilot's brain was functioning at over two times its natural capacity. Despite the extra work it was doing, his motor skills had dropped severely. All his movements were very slow and sometimes clumsy, speech was near impossible and writing and typing were out of the question. As they all sat down to dinner that night, Duo had to feed Heero. If no one did anything, pilot one would simply sit and stare blankly at his plate. They were unsure of whether he only sat there because he couldn't feed himself or didn't want to eat and that, among other things, led to an argument. Only Duo seemed to be on Heero's side; the other three boys knew that in his present condition Heero was of no use in the war. Duo however, didn't want to see that. He believed that Heero would recover and all would be fine. Duo slowly raised a spoonful of potatoes to Heero's mouth. The Japanese boy turned his head slightly, keeping his mouth closed.

          "I guess he's full." Duo mumbled, sitting the spoon back onto Heero's plate.

          "He's barely eaten anything, how can he be full?" Wufei asked.
          "Look Wufei, I'm not going to force him to eat. If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to."

          "And if he doesn't want to pilot Wing, is he exempt from that too? That is, if he can still pilot it." For this, Wufei received a murderous glare.

          "He can still pilot the gundam." Quatre interrupted the two boys by clearing his throat.

          "Duo," he said. "Heero has become autistic. Realistically, if he can't even talk, he won't be able to pilot his gundam."

          "But he can talk. We all heard him say 'two'." Wufei snorted at Duo's argument.

          "We don't know he said the number two. He could have said to, as in a direction or he may have said too, meaning also."

          "He may not have said a word at all." Trowa added quietly.

          "He did say a word, he said TWO! Why can't you all accept that?"
          "Why can't you accept that he's not the same as before?!" Wufei shot back.

          "I know he doesn't act the same way but inside he's still Heero!"

          "Look at him! Look in his eyes and tell me if you see ANY sign of the Heero that we know. He probably doesn't even know who WE are!! How could he know who he is?!" The heated words flew back and forth. Quatre tried as best as he could to quell the arguing while Trowa only added facts from time to time. No one noticed the pained look that had crossed Heero's face. There was no observation of how he began to rock back and forth, his breathing becoming faster. They didn't even quiet themselves as the silver ware on the table started to tremble.

          "You're only defending him because you feel like this is your fault!" Wufei accused.
          "You take that back right now! Heero is still Heero and he's a better pilot than you'll ever be and you know it!! He didn't need me."

          "If he's such a good pilot then why is he a retard right now?!"

          "HE IS NOT A RETARD!!"

          "You guys, calm down! Arguing won't get us anywhere!"

          "SHUT UP!" both Wufei and Duo yelled in unison. Trowa's emerald eyes narrowed.

          "Don't yell at Quatre because you two can't deal with your issues."

          "Stop…" Heero mumbled. His words went unnoticed.

          "Well I don't see Quatre giving any solutions to the problem at hand!"

          "There is no problem right now! Heero is FINE!"

          "Duo, I told you before, Heero is autistic! That's a serious mental handicap."

          "It isn't as though Quatre isn't helping at all; he did pay for Heero's hospital bill."

          "But paying the bill isn't going to allow Heero to function correctly is it?!"

          "Are you deaf Wufei, or are you just dumb? I just told you that Heero is fine!!" Heero's dark colored hair stood on end as he slid his hands over his ears.

          "Stop it…stop it…stop it…" Still, too engrossed in the fight, the others paid no attention to Heero's actions. The over hanging lights flickered briefly as the silver ware began to bend awkwardly.

          "Heero is NOT fine! HE CAN'T EVEN SAY A COMPLETE SENTENCE ANYMORE!"

          "YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE HIM A CHANCE!"

          "Will both of you stop fighting?!"

          "We need to prove to this idiot that Heero isn't Heero anymore!!"

          "Damn it Wufei, he IS still Heero!" Finally Heero could take it no longer.

          "STOP!!" All words died in their owners' throats as a stream of white sparks shot into the air in the room behind them. The television's plug fizzled loudly for a moment before blowing itself from the socket in a small explosion. The chandelier swinging above them blinked on and off, its power supply being interrupted. Duo was the first to look in Heero's direction. The dark haired boy was hunched over, eyes squeezed shut, his entire body trembling. He reached out a hand to touch the shaking boy.

          "Heero…" The distraught pilot pulled away quickly. He grunted in pain and clutched his throbbing skull. Duo and the others backed away quickly as the silver ware began to bounce wildly on the table. Heero was now staring wide eyed at the table, still holding his head in his hands. He looked as though some one was holding a statically charged balloon over his head; every strand of his hair was standing out, though not straight up. It remained this way for a few seconds before dropping back into its previous position. A few drops of sweat plopped quietly onto the table as he sat there panting. Duo moved slowly, so as not to excite Heero further. Delicately he stepped toward the other boy.

          "Heero…" he ventured. "Are you alright?"

          "Tired…" the boy puffed. "Tired…" Duo nodded and helped Heero from the chair. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei watched in astonishment as the American pilot led Heero to the room they shared, seemingly unfazed by what had just occurred.

          "Did Heero really do that?" Quatre wondered aloud.

          "He couldn't have…" Wufei responded. "TV's blow fuses all the time. Maybe there was a power surge. That would explain why the light is blinking. Besides…no normal person could do that."

          "But…" Trowa interjected. "Heero's not a normal person anymore."

***

          Once again Heero found himself in the pitch black space of his dreams. He glanced back and forth, infinite darkness the only thing his eyes could pick up.

          "You're back." He whipped around to face the person the voice belonged to. The little boy giggled, hiding his identity behind the neon green ball.

          "Who are you?" Heero inquired. He noticed his voice was softer than it usually was. Another quiet giggle reached his ears.

          "Will you play with me?" The child's voice floated to him from behind the ball.

          "Tell me who you are."  He watched the boy turn away from him.

          "Will you play with me?" The ball dropped from his hands and bounced. A violent flash of light tore through Heero's mind. With a hand on his forehead he stumbled back.

          "Will you play with me?" The boy let go of the ball again. Searing pain split Heero's head open as the toy hit the floor. He fell to one knee.

          "Who are you?!" Wires and cables slithered out of the thick blackness surrounding them. The boy continued to bounce the ball, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were headed straight for him.

          "I'm just a little boy…" The wires rose up around the tiny body. "A nameless little boy…" Electricity fizzled at their ends. The boy's small head turned toward Heero. "I'm just a little boy –." What tiny light there was reflected in the boy's eyes as they widened, the wires having sliced through his fragile body. Heero could see only the boy's profile silhouetted against the darkness, shadow on shadow. His head tilted back slightly before he began to fall forward. The ball rolled away silently.

          "Just a little boy…" he murmured before hitting the floor. "…who wants to play…"

          Kicking the covers off of himself Heero scrambled out of bed. He took refuge in a corner and held his knees close to his body, staring straight ahead as he rocked back and forth. Perspiration glistened on his face. What was that? That dream…it was horrifying. He couldn't go back to sleep. He shook his head violently.

          "No sleep…" he mumbled. 'I can't go back to sleep. Not with that dream there. Not if I'll be in that place again…I can't go back to sleep.' He looked up suddenly as if he had heard something. Almost in a trance he stood and walked downstairs. After a few minutes of searching, his fingers closed around a highlighter used for making battle plans. He had no idea what he was doing; it was as though his body was being controlled by someone else. Back upstairs he uncapped the bright yellow marker and began to write. His Prussian blue eyes stared at the symbols as he created them but didn't really see them. His hand moved rapidly along the walls.

          "No sleep…" His voice was as monotone as ever. "No sleep…" Duo remained where he was, his slumber unaffected by his companion's insomnia. He never noticed that Heero had awoken, nor what he was doing.

          "No sleep…" Heero repeated. "…until I play…"

*It'll get better, I promise!*