The knock came loud and fast, jolting John Keating out of his already restless sleep. He had been up for hours, and then tossed and turned incessantly, worrying about Neil. He could tell from the demeanor of his father after the show that the elder Perry had not been swayed even by his own son's magnificent performance.

He slipped into his slippers and robe as he hesitantly made it to his door, peeking through the hole being caught by surprise as he saw none other than an obviously anxious Neil Perry standing on the other side.

He quickly opened the door, letting the boy in.

"Neil, what are you doing here? And at this time of night."

He could tell his words only further unnerved the boy, so he took a breath and started again.

"I'm sorry. It's perfectly fine that you came here, just tell me why. What's wrong?"

He guided the boy to the couch, where they both took a seat. They sat in silence for a minute or two before Neil took a deep steadying breath.

"My father wants to send me to military school. He's withdrawing me from Welton first thing in the morning. I…I can't let that happen. If he takes me out of Welton, I'll lose everything that means anything to me. I'll waste my life away in medical school when all I really want to do is act, I won't get to learn from your classes anymore, I won't have the Dead Poets Society, I won't have Todd-"

As soon as those last few words left his lips, Neil clamped his mouth shut, his eyes growing wide.

What would the captain think of this? Would he disown him like he knew every other adult in his life would if they knew? He couldn't bear that. He was the only adult he could turn to…the only one to whom he could bear his true self.

"Todd," Keating began slowly, watching Neil's reaction closely. "You…you have feelings for Todd?"

Neil squeezed his eyes shut in fear, the first few tears slipping from the corners of his eyes as he nodded his head, waiting for his sentencing.

"Neil, look at me."

After a moment, he reluctantly brought his eyes up to meet those of his teacher. He was surprised to find the same light he always found there, along with a soft smile on the older man's lips.

"There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. It's perfectly natural. I know there are people at Welton who would love to tell you otherwise, but they're wrong, Neil. Remember what I said before? Love is one of the true gifts in life. One of those beautiful things we stay alive for. If your heart is telling you that Todd is its answer, then listen. Follow it. You'll never know until you try."

Neil let out a breath filled with so much relief he almost doubled over. The captain never ceased to amaze him.

"Now about your father-"

Instantly the fear was back in the boy's eyes.

"I can't do what he's asking of me, Captain. I can't. And before you say I should talk to him, I tried. Tonight after the play. But the words just wouldn't come out. I wasn't strong enough. And then-"

He cut himself off, unsure of how much to expose of his earlier plans.

"And then what, Neil? It's okay, you can tell me."

"After my father told me what he planned to do, he sent me to bed and I realized I couldn't live the life he wanted me to; I'd be losing too much. So, once I knew both of my parents were asleep, I snuck into their room and grabbed my father's gun. I brought it to his office and I…I planned to kill myself."

Neil had never before seen Mr. Keating either shocked or afraid. He wasn't sure if the man had ever felt either emotion, but bringing himself to look into his face, he could see both clearly.

"Neil, I…You were going to kill yourself? You didn't think there was any other option?"

The boy shook his head sadly, ashamed of his own weakness.

After a few moments of gathering his thoughts, Keating spoke again.

"What made you change your mind?" He was relieved to see a small smile come to the student's face again, as minute as it was.

"Todd," he answered simply. "I thought about what it would do to him if I left him behind and I knew I couldn't do it."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, the teacher smiled. "Well, then you definitely need to tell him of the depth of your feelings. Something that powerful should not be contained."

Neil gave a laugh as he wiped at his eyes, some of the tension beginning to leave his body.

"Why don't you get some sleep on the couch? I'll grab you some pillows and a blanket. And as far as your parents go, I'll make sure you never have to go back there again."

TBC

Author's Note: A bit longer this time, yay! I should have another update soon. I know there's not much here, but please review and let me know what you think.