Natsu, in the time he'd been alive and able to comprehend words, had only really learned a few things that had an incredible impact on him. Most of them had to do with his guild and family, they were important so anything having to do with them was extremely crucial to him, naturally. But one of those things he learned, the one that shook him down to his absolute core and wrecked him for a number of days, still did in truth, had to do with only two people. One of them was himself and the other was Lucy Heartfilia.

He had learned he was in love with his best friend.

The day it happened, holy shit, he was a mess. His palms had begun sweating, his heart had sped up to an ungodly rate, his stomach felt like it was turning to mush every time he saw her and he seriously thought he was going to die. Lucy Heartfilia had cursed him for some reason, maybe she had it with him eating the food in her fridge- that had to be the answer. Lucy cursed him for eating her, apparently, precious food, right?

HAHA, NO.

Natsu had gone and fallen in love with the girl.

He didn't even know if that was a strong enough word.

She had become the forefront of his mind and concerns. Of course he still loved everyone else, there was no doubt about that, but Lucy… Natsu didn't know what she did but she was the most important thing to him. Anytime an accident happened, he needed to know if she was okay first before moving on. When battles would break out on their missions, he'd stay by her side and fight with her, never daring to leave her behind when he knew she wasn't exactly safe.

One thing Natsu did know was that seeing her future self die was probably what triggered him realizing what he felt. After that day, Lucy had been in his thoughts more and more often. At first it was hard for him to accept he couldn't protect her, impossible even, but with time he tried to move on from that guilt and instead do everything he could to become stronger so that would never happen again.

But his actions caused him to ask himself a question.

Why?

Why was he willing to go so far?

It wasn't his usual answer, that was for sure. It wasn't because she was "nakama". When he tried to answer himself with that, his head called bullshit. There was something more to it, so much more. It was actually terrifying to him that he didn't know what to call it. Every time he saw her, it closed in and threatened to drown him, but at the same time he was scared shitless, it also felt like he was on cloud nine.

Natsu had never been so confused in his life.

But that was when he realized he was in love.

And if the teen thought clarity was supposed to come after that he was so, so, sooooooooooooo wrong.

Back to the beginning, Natsu had been wrecked the day he found out. He went to Gray and tried to vent, wondering how the hell it could've happened, and only got a "What? You really just now figured that out?" The reply had made him want to punch the guy but instead he only retorted, "If you knew then why hell didn't you tell me?!"

Needless to say, he'd run out of the guild and to his shack so fast he almost left visible tracks on the cobbled roads of Magnolia.

But after a few days of dodging Lucy, he felt really bad about that, his nerves were able to calm down a little. When he finally showed up at the guild again, Lucy had run him into the ground with questions but he played it off as him being sick. Which he practically was.

Soon after getting back into his usual routines, he began to realize that something was different. He was paying more attention to his target of affection and noticing new things.

It'd been surreal.

Like, the way she hopped off a bar stool. It was… cute.

Or, the way she would smile but her upper lip always came up a little higher than her bottom and just a bit of her teeth showed.

Also, when she began a laugh, her large, seemingly never ending, eyes would shut for a whole second before continuing the sound he came to enjoy hearing immensely.

He found himself staring after her when she left and feeling an amazing amount of happiness when she'd come back because she forgot something. It was completely irrational, but he was never partial to logical things anyway.

But with all the lovey dovey things came something he didn't enjoy too much.

He wanted her.

And he didn't know if that was alright.

The last thing. The very last thing he wanted to do on that green earth was lose her. As a friend or otherwise. If she didn't want… what he wanted then, that was it. There wasn't going to be some sad tale of an unrequited love. (yeah, he'd actually read up on some romantic crap in magazines and books.) He wasn't going to go on a quest to "untie himself from earthly feelings". He'd love her.

Just love her.

Of course, that was something he only thought about occasionally. It was definitely a thing that worried him, but at the moment, he just wanted to revel in what the Spirit Mage was making him feel. Those those emotions were unlike anything, anything, he'd ever felt and he wasn't going to let some worries get in the way of them.

To be honest, there just wasn't enough time in the day to spend with her.

Sometimes, when he would say something that was utterly and completely mushy, he doubted the words even came from himself. It was like a different him, one that was far more eloquent with words and emotions, was speaking. Gray would tease, Mira would gush, Erza would nod in approval, apparently everyone had known about his feelings, and he would want to crawl into a hole and beat up his other self.

Lucy, of freaking course, was completely oblivious to his feelings.

Natsu sighed, but it was enough.

For now anyway. There was no telling what that other him, the mushy one who also happened to be a frickin' monster, would eventually do or say.

He seriously might write her a song later. Or maybe dig up that tree again.

Natsu would dig up a million trees if it made her happy.

He would do anything for her.

If she wanted, he'd kiss her all day everyday. But that, that one part of many when it came to love, he desperately tried to put a cork in.

Physical attraction.

It was hell.

Nothing infuriated him more than the part of himself that saw Lucy that way. It was normal, he knew that much, that he thought about those things, but when it would keep him up at night- that was when he knew he needed to draw a line.

But of course that line only held strong until he saw Lucy waltz into the guild sporting one of her favorite skirts, or a shirt that only went down to the middle of her stomach. When she walked in a way that made her hips sway or when she licked her lips- he needed to leave. No hesitation, he just left. There was no room for that when he was with her. He wouldn't let it get the better of his control when she was sitting next to him out of pure respect for the girl. But the worst, the absolute worst physical thing that he needed, or just outright wanted, was the right to hug her whenever he wanted without it being weird.

He just wanted to freakin' hug her.

She looked so huggable and from the few times he actually had, he knew that was a fact.

Natsu just wanted to hold her.

It was ruining him.

The physical things he wanted, thankfully most of them were family friendly, were going to kill him.

Holding her slim hand, hugging her delicate yet strong frame, brushing her golden hair out of her face when she was concentrating on a book- those things were going to be the absolute end of him. There wasn't a limit to how badly he wanted to do them.

God, he found himself wanting to do so many things since he realized he was in love. It was ridiculous. He didn't sign up for it! The frustration, the happiness, the confusion, the anger when someone looked at her the wrong way- none of it was planned.

But, as if he were some sort of masochist, he loved it. Well, the pleasant parts at least and they seemed to outweigh the bad by the billions.

Natsu, who was now walking Lucy home and watching her tread along the canals' edge, balancing herself with a concentrated smile, was head over heels for the worlds most amazing girl.

They'd been through so much, and he'd do so, so much to keep her there next to him. All he wanted, really in the end, if he could only be granted one thing he asked for, it would be to see her smile everyday.

Her smile was the best.

Love was a weird thing, he came to that conclusion. So weird and great and frustrating and hopeful.

Just like Lucy.

A/N: Just a little ficlet I wrote on tumblr. It's one of the many ways I think Natsu might react to fallin in love with Lucy. (: I might build onto this later.