Summary: Two demons start a fight in the Dojo, and it'll take both Bouncers to stop them. After they finish their drinks, anyway...
PG-13 for all the usual reasons, and because at least one demon has a potty mouth.
Fight Night
By Nate
"How long have they been going at it?" Spike asked.
"Mmm. A while now," Nagi replied absently. "At least an hour."
"And...you're not worried?"
Nagi shrugged. "It's a dojo. I say let them fight."
"Yeah, but...what if they don't stop?" Spike mused.
Nagi shrugged again. "Then we sell tickets."
Spike blinked. "That's not a bad idea."
"Nope," Nagi agreed. "Hey, pass me a towel or something. They're getting blood all over the weights."
There was a loud, sickening thud.
Spike frowned. "No towel's going to get skull fragments off the dumbbells. And the brain bits leave a smell, trust me."
"Easily handled. We auction them online. Think of how much people would pay for a dumbbell that brained HIM."
"Do you ever NOT think about money?"
"No." Nagi turned to her fellow bounty hunter with an incredulous look. "Do you?"
Spike considered that. "Point taken."
* * * * *
"...and I'm telling YOU, Ctarl-Ctarl only NEED two forms!"
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Every decent fighter has at LEAST three, woman!"
Aisha growled. "You're just jealous because your ultimate form is a sleep-deprived, hyperactive, spray painted monkey!"
"And you're jealous because yours is a glorified Siberian tiger!"
"What?! How DARE you! I am Aisha Clan-Clan, former Ambassador Pleni-"
"And I am Vegeta, CURRENT Prince of All Saiya-jin and member of the Elite-"
"How long have they been going at it this time?" Sasami asked quietly in the kitchen.
"A while now, Sasami-chan," Juri replied, somewhat nervously.
"Oh, don't worry about THEM." Sasami patted her shoulder reassuringly. "They're always like that when it's late and they're drunk. They're harmless."
"They don't SEEM like it."
"I know, but they're loud people naturally. It only gets worse with liquor in them."
"TAKE THAT BACK!" Aisha shrieked.
"NOT UNTIL YOU KNEEL!" Vegeta roared.
Juri whimpered and covered her ears. "Can't you stop them...?"
"Hmm? Oh, sure, just a sec." Sasami picked up a pot and wooden spoon, then vanished from the kitchen. "Look after Ryo-Ohki, okay?" she called.
"Sure!" Juri turned to pick up to cabbit, only to find at least thirty of them on the counter. "Um...which one...?"
Suddenly, a voice even louder than the first two rang out, accompanied by loud banging.
"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! YOU'RE SCARING JURI-CHAN!!!"
Sasami returned a moment later with a broken spoon and a dented pot. "They'll be good now."
"...oh," Juri said at least. "Thanks..."
Sasami grinned. "No problem!"
* * * * *
True to her word, Nagi began to sell tickets just before a promising crowd had shown up. As it was, she was making a fortune off drink and snack orders alone, but it never hurt to have a little extra money coming in. Or a lot, depending on how one viewed the arguably high price of admission.
But no one that liked fighting was going to miss THIS fight.
On the sidelines, the crowd had divided itself into two factions. Both were obviously pro-demon, as was fitting, but one side had a preference for demons created and enhanced by magic, while the others supported those of mixed heritage.
Ryoko had planted herself firmly on the pro-mixed heritage side, and had been the first to show up. She was even directly responsible for the fight itself, and would gladly tell that to anyone, provided it didn't interfere with her cheering.
Directly opposite her was Eriol, the other initiator of the fight, and also a willing participant in the bet that had spawned it.
Between them was Yugi, equally liked by both, but cheering for neither side, mainly because she was more interested in how many things the fighters would break than the fight itself. As her eyes scanned the carnage, she noticed a familiar figure approaching her. "I was wondering when you'd show up."
Chibi Trunks grunted and squeezed in between her and Ryoko. "The line to get in is a mile long. Who's winning?"
"MY Inu-chan, of course!" Ryoko said.
Trunks blinked, took a second, long look at the aforementioned fighter, and then whispered in confusion, "Inu-chan???"
"Don't ask," Yugi suggested.
"He doesn't stand a chance, anyway," Eriol added mysteriously.
"YOU shut up!" Ryoko shouted. "When my Inu-chan wins, we're going to get free drinks whenever we come in!"
"Inu-chan???" Trunks whispered again.
Eriol smirked calmly. "And when his opponent beats him senseless, you're going to pay double for every drink you order."
"I gotta say, I can't tell who's winning," Yugi muttered. "One's throwing all the punches, but he's not doing any noticeable damage. And the other...well...he's laughing! Like it's all a joke or something."
"That's the way HE fights," Trunks muttered, looking vengeful.
* * * * *
"So...you're not going to do ANYTHING about the fight?" Sakura asked.
"No," Vegeta replied calmly, tossing back another shot of Chief Warren Peace's Authentic Firewater. His eyes turned a smoldering red for a moment, then he shuddered and belched, a cloud of black smoke escaping his mouth.
Sakura eyed the cloud with concern. "But...they might damage the Dojo! Aisha-san, don't you care?"
Aisha waved a hand drunkenly. "Let 'em fight," she mumbled, her speech slurred. "And to the victor, go...go..." She looked to Vegeta for help.
"Free drinks," Vegeta said, refilling his glass before handing the bottle to Aisha.
"YEAH! Free drinksssh!" Aisha chugged the bottle for at least ten seconds, then threw back her head and belched molten-hot flames upward, scorching the ceiling.
Sakura looked mournful. "But why won't you stop them? Those two demons are dangerous!"
"Two?" Aisha asked, as if this were news to her.
"Yes! You could each take one! Or take turns!" Sakura suggested eagerly.
"Can't do it, cutie," Aisha replied sadly, frowning at her empty bottle before tossing it away.
"Why not?!"
"One Demon Maximum," Aisha answered importantly.
"Huh?" Sakura asked, clearly confused.
"Ever heard of a three drink minimum?" Vegeta asked.
"Well...not really..."
"Too bad. This is a one demon maximum. We get paid to deal with any major demon...but only if there's one. Otherwise, we have to get paid overtime. Or bonuses."
"YEAH!" Aisha agreed loudly, slinging an arm companionably about Vegeta's slumped shoulders. "Bonussshes!"
"But...we can't AFFORD to give you either of those," Sakura moaned miserably.
"Then you can't afford to have those TWO demons booted out," Vegeta said. "Anyway, the fat one's worth at least two and a HALF demons by himself. Now, you're a waitress. Make yourself useful and bring us more firewater."
* * * * *
The fight was still in the first round after six hours. Mainly because the two fighters hadn't stopped long enough for a second round to be declared.
Inu Yasha growled under his breath as the portly, pink demon bounced back up. "CURSE YOU! STAY DOWN!!!"
His opponent laughed merrily. "Buu no stay down! You stay down!"
"GAAAAAH! BLADES OF BLOOD!!!"
"Goooo Inu-chan!" Ryoko cheered, clapping loudly.
"INU-CHAN???" Trunks asked for the hundredth time.
"Give it up, Trunks," Yugi advised. "Some people are weird that way."
"Okay. Explain the bet to me again."
Yugi sighed. "Ryoko said that no demon could beat Inu Yasha in a fight. Eriol bet her he could find one demon that would beat him down."
"He certainly picked the right one," Trunks muttered sullenly.
"Hey! Are you implying that pink butterball can beat MY Inu-chan?!" Ryoko shouted.
"If the shoe fits..." Eriol began.
Ryoko glared at him, then raised her voice defiantly. "GET HIM, INU-CHAN!"
Inu Yasha froze in mid-strike and spun around, clearly enraged. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!"
Eriol smiled eerily. "Now, Buu."
Inu Yasha's eyes widened, and he turned just in time to see Buu's gloved fist crashing into his jaw with the force of a runaway freight train. The blow spun him around a few times, then he crashed to the mat chin-first, unconscious before he landed.
Ryo walked in from the sidelines and checked Inu Yasha before standing. "THE WINNAH!" he bellowed, raising Buu's hand, "AND NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE DOJO, THE KING OF DEMONS, THE ONE, THE ONLY...CLOW BUU!!!"
"Yeah!" Buu cheered, going into victory dance mode. "Buu win! Buu win! Buu win! Woo HA!"
"Did he just say...CLOW BUU?!" Trunks asked, glaring at Eriol.
Eriol smiled. "I have," he said simply, "connections. Come, Buu."
Buu obediently fell in behind Eriol as they headed for the door. "Buu eat cake now, Master?"
"Yes, my friend," Eriol chuckled. "Buu eat all the cake he want."
"I don't believe it," Trunks swore. "That little-he freed Buu!"
"Well, he seems to have him under control," Yugi pointed out. "And if Eriol's good at one thing, it's manipulating others into his control."
"I don't like it," Trunks muttered. But then he brightened. "At least I won ten hundred zini for betting on the RIGHT demon." He ran off with a smile.
Yugi glanced at Ryoko, who was still frozen in shock. "I don't think anyone can beat Buu. At least, not without some Son blood in them."
* * * * *
Majin Buu was a terror. A childlike, sweet-eating, destructive terror.
Clow Buu was much the same...only he placed more emphasis on the sweet-eating.
"Goodness!" Juri gasped as Buu put away another pound of cake.
"Another cake, Juri-chan," Eriol said. "Buu's ready for dessert now."
Juri still looked startled. "But...we don't have anymore cake...he ate it all..."
Eriol smiled. "Some other sweets, then?"
"Um...muffins...pies...cocoa..."
"Buu want all!" Buu said happily.
Eriol nodded. "You heard the demon."
Juri nodded blankly and turned to the kitchen, cupping her hands to her mouth. "Sasami-chan, they want more!"
The kitchen doors burst open, and Sasami wheeled out a huge cart, loaded with various sweets. "This is the vanilla cart," she said. "We've got strawberry and chocolate lined up and ready to go."
Buu eyed the cart and began stuffing his enormous face.
Eriol checked what appeared to be a watch. "Hmm. He's only two-thirds full. You'd better start on a blueberry cart, Sasami-chan."
Sasami nodded and patted Buu's arm, smiling up at him fondly. "Enjoying it, Buu?"
Buu grinned through a mouthful of ice cream. "Buu like! Thanks, lady!"
Sasami beamed and walked away, a dreamy look on her face.
"What's with her?" Juri asked quietly.
Eriol pushed up his glasses. "I can only assume Sasami would adore someone that ate so much of her cooking in one sitting."
"Are you saying...she's in love with BUU?!" Juri cried.
"Love is blind," Eriol replied. "Although, I must wonder whether it's now deaf, lame, and mute as well..."
* * * * *
Nagi checked the regeneration tank one last time. "He should be fine by tomorrow morning."
"Good fighter," Spike murmured, giving the sleeping demon an appreciative nod. "Sloppy and unpredictable, but good."
"Good for sales, too," Nagi noted. "We should do this every week."
"We're still going to need repairs."
Nagi glanced around. "Well...it IS a dojo, and people come here mainly to fight. Do you really think they'll be concerned if there's blood on a few things?"
"...this is a way of cutting costs, isn't it?" Spike asked.
"You want your Christmas bonus now or not?" Nagi asked, offering him a wad of cash.
"And to all a good night," Spike said, stuffing the cash in his pocket. "A VERY good night."
* * * * *
Disclaimer: Most people are Temps, so they belong to either the Dojo or Sake Bar for the time being. Buu...belongs to Eriol now, apparently. And Yugi's mine, of course.
PG-13 for all the usual reasons, and because at least one demon has a potty mouth.
Fight Night
By Nate
"How long have they been going at it?" Spike asked.
"Mmm. A while now," Nagi replied absently. "At least an hour."
"And...you're not worried?"
Nagi shrugged. "It's a dojo. I say let them fight."
"Yeah, but...what if they don't stop?" Spike mused.
Nagi shrugged again. "Then we sell tickets."
Spike blinked. "That's not a bad idea."
"Nope," Nagi agreed. "Hey, pass me a towel or something. They're getting blood all over the weights."
There was a loud, sickening thud.
Spike frowned. "No towel's going to get skull fragments off the dumbbells. And the brain bits leave a smell, trust me."
"Easily handled. We auction them online. Think of how much people would pay for a dumbbell that brained HIM."
"Do you ever NOT think about money?"
"No." Nagi turned to her fellow bounty hunter with an incredulous look. "Do you?"
Spike considered that. "Point taken."
* * * * *
"...and I'm telling YOU, Ctarl-Ctarl only NEED two forms!"
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Every decent fighter has at LEAST three, woman!"
Aisha growled. "You're just jealous because your ultimate form is a sleep-deprived, hyperactive, spray painted monkey!"
"And you're jealous because yours is a glorified Siberian tiger!"
"What?! How DARE you! I am Aisha Clan-Clan, former Ambassador Pleni-"
"And I am Vegeta, CURRENT Prince of All Saiya-jin and member of the Elite-"
"How long have they been going at it this time?" Sasami asked quietly in the kitchen.
"A while now, Sasami-chan," Juri replied, somewhat nervously.
"Oh, don't worry about THEM." Sasami patted her shoulder reassuringly. "They're always like that when it's late and they're drunk. They're harmless."
"They don't SEEM like it."
"I know, but they're loud people naturally. It only gets worse with liquor in them."
"TAKE THAT BACK!" Aisha shrieked.
"NOT UNTIL YOU KNEEL!" Vegeta roared.
Juri whimpered and covered her ears. "Can't you stop them...?"
"Hmm? Oh, sure, just a sec." Sasami picked up a pot and wooden spoon, then vanished from the kitchen. "Look after Ryo-Ohki, okay?" she called.
"Sure!" Juri turned to pick up to cabbit, only to find at least thirty of them on the counter. "Um...which one...?"
Suddenly, a voice even louder than the first two rang out, accompanied by loud banging.
"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! YOU'RE SCARING JURI-CHAN!!!"
Sasami returned a moment later with a broken spoon and a dented pot. "They'll be good now."
"...oh," Juri said at least. "Thanks..."
Sasami grinned. "No problem!"
* * * * *
True to her word, Nagi began to sell tickets just before a promising crowd had shown up. As it was, she was making a fortune off drink and snack orders alone, but it never hurt to have a little extra money coming in. Or a lot, depending on how one viewed the arguably high price of admission.
But no one that liked fighting was going to miss THIS fight.
On the sidelines, the crowd had divided itself into two factions. Both were obviously pro-demon, as was fitting, but one side had a preference for demons created and enhanced by magic, while the others supported those of mixed heritage.
Ryoko had planted herself firmly on the pro-mixed heritage side, and had been the first to show up. She was even directly responsible for the fight itself, and would gladly tell that to anyone, provided it didn't interfere with her cheering.
Directly opposite her was Eriol, the other initiator of the fight, and also a willing participant in the bet that had spawned it.
Between them was Yugi, equally liked by both, but cheering for neither side, mainly because she was more interested in how many things the fighters would break than the fight itself. As her eyes scanned the carnage, she noticed a familiar figure approaching her. "I was wondering when you'd show up."
Chibi Trunks grunted and squeezed in between her and Ryoko. "The line to get in is a mile long. Who's winning?"
"MY Inu-chan, of course!" Ryoko said.
Trunks blinked, took a second, long look at the aforementioned fighter, and then whispered in confusion, "Inu-chan???"
"Don't ask," Yugi suggested.
"He doesn't stand a chance, anyway," Eriol added mysteriously.
"YOU shut up!" Ryoko shouted. "When my Inu-chan wins, we're going to get free drinks whenever we come in!"
"Inu-chan???" Trunks whispered again.
Eriol smirked calmly. "And when his opponent beats him senseless, you're going to pay double for every drink you order."
"I gotta say, I can't tell who's winning," Yugi muttered. "One's throwing all the punches, but he's not doing any noticeable damage. And the other...well...he's laughing! Like it's all a joke or something."
"That's the way HE fights," Trunks muttered, looking vengeful.
* * * * *
"So...you're not going to do ANYTHING about the fight?" Sakura asked.
"No," Vegeta replied calmly, tossing back another shot of Chief Warren Peace's Authentic Firewater. His eyes turned a smoldering red for a moment, then he shuddered and belched, a cloud of black smoke escaping his mouth.
Sakura eyed the cloud with concern. "But...they might damage the Dojo! Aisha-san, don't you care?"
Aisha waved a hand drunkenly. "Let 'em fight," she mumbled, her speech slurred. "And to the victor, go...go..." She looked to Vegeta for help.
"Free drinks," Vegeta said, refilling his glass before handing the bottle to Aisha.
"YEAH! Free drinksssh!" Aisha chugged the bottle for at least ten seconds, then threw back her head and belched molten-hot flames upward, scorching the ceiling.
Sakura looked mournful. "But why won't you stop them? Those two demons are dangerous!"
"Two?" Aisha asked, as if this were news to her.
"Yes! You could each take one! Or take turns!" Sakura suggested eagerly.
"Can't do it, cutie," Aisha replied sadly, frowning at her empty bottle before tossing it away.
"Why not?!"
"One Demon Maximum," Aisha answered importantly.
"Huh?" Sakura asked, clearly confused.
"Ever heard of a three drink minimum?" Vegeta asked.
"Well...not really..."
"Too bad. This is a one demon maximum. We get paid to deal with any major demon...but only if there's one. Otherwise, we have to get paid overtime. Or bonuses."
"YEAH!" Aisha agreed loudly, slinging an arm companionably about Vegeta's slumped shoulders. "Bonussshes!"
"But...we can't AFFORD to give you either of those," Sakura moaned miserably.
"Then you can't afford to have those TWO demons booted out," Vegeta said. "Anyway, the fat one's worth at least two and a HALF demons by himself. Now, you're a waitress. Make yourself useful and bring us more firewater."
* * * * *
The fight was still in the first round after six hours. Mainly because the two fighters hadn't stopped long enough for a second round to be declared.
Inu Yasha growled under his breath as the portly, pink demon bounced back up. "CURSE YOU! STAY DOWN!!!"
His opponent laughed merrily. "Buu no stay down! You stay down!"
"GAAAAAH! BLADES OF BLOOD!!!"
"Goooo Inu-chan!" Ryoko cheered, clapping loudly.
"INU-CHAN???" Trunks asked for the hundredth time.
"Give it up, Trunks," Yugi advised. "Some people are weird that way."
"Okay. Explain the bet to me again."
Yugi sighed. "Ryoko said that no demon could beat Inu Yasha in a fight. Eriol bet her he could find one demon that would beat him down."
"He certainly picked the right one," Trunks muttered sullenly.
"Hey! Are you implying that pink butterball can beat MY Inu-chan?!" Ryoko shouted.
"If the shoe fits..." Eriol began.
Ryoko glared at him, then raised her voice defiantly. "GET HIM, INU-CHAN!"
Inu Yasha froze in mid-strike and spun around, clearly enraged. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!"
Eriol smiled eerily. "Now, Buu."
Inu Yasha's eyes widened, and he turned just in time to see Buu's gloved fist crashing into his jaw with the force of a runaway freight train. The blow spun him around a few times, then he crashed to the mat chin-first, unconscious before he landed.
Ryo walked in from the sidelines and checked Inu Yasha before standing. "THE WINNAH!" he bellowed, raising Buu's hand, "AND NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE DOJO, THE KING OF DEMONS, THE ONE, THE ONLY...CLOW BUU!!!"
"Yeah!" Buu cheered, going into victory dance mode. "Buu win! Buu win! Buu win! Woo HA!"
"Did he just say...CLOW BUU?!" Trunks asked, glaring at Eriol.
Eriol smiled. "I have," he said simply, "connections. Come, Buu."
Buu obediently fell in behind Eriol as they headed for the door. "Buu eat cake now, Master?"
"Yes, my friend," Eriol chuckled. "Buu eat all the cake he want."
"I don't believe it," Trunks swore. "That little-he freed Buu!"
"Well, he seems to have him under control," Yugi pointed out. "And if Eriol's good at one thing, it's manipulating others into his control."
"I don't like it," Trunks muttered. But then he brightened. "At least I won ten hundred zini for betting on the RIGHT demon." He ran off with a smile.
Yugi glanced at Ryoko, who was still frozen in shock. "I don't think anyone can beat Buu. At least, not without some Son blood in them."
* * * * *
Majin Buu was a terror. A childlike, sweet-eating, destructive terror.
Clow Buu was much the same...only he placed more emphasis on the sweet-eating.
"Goodness!" Juri gasped as Buu put away another pound of cake.
"Another cake, Juri-chan," Eriol said. "Buu's ready for dessert now."
Juri still looked startled. "But...we don't have anymore cake...he ate it all..."
Eriol smiled. "Some other sweets, then?"
"Um...muffins...pies...cocoa..."
"Buu want all!" Buu said happily.
Eriol nodded. "You heard the demon."
Juri nodded blankly and turned to the kitchen, cupping her hands to her mouth. "Sasami-chan, they want more!"
The kitchen doors burst open, and Sasami wheeled out a huge cart, loaded with various sweets. "This is the vanilla cart," she said. "We've got strawberry and chocolate lined up and ready to go."
Buu eyed the cart and began stuffing his enormous face.
Eriol checked what appeared to be a watch. "Hmm. He's only two-thirds full. You'd better start on a blueberry cart, Sasami-chan."
Sasami nodded and patted Buu's arm, smiling up at him fondly. "Enjoying it, Buu?"
Buu grinned through a mouthful of ice cream. "Buu like! Thanks, lady!"
Sasami beamed and walked away, a dreamy look on her face.
"What's with her?" Juri asked quietly.
Eriol pushed up his glasses. "I can only assume Sasami would adore someone that ate so much of her cooking in one sitting."
"Are you saying...she's in love with BUU?!" Juri cried.
"Love is blind," Eriol replied. "Although, I must wonder whether it's now deaf, lame, and mute as well..."
* * * * *
Nagi checked the regeneration tank one last time. "He should be fine by tomorrow morning."
"Good fighter," Spike murmured, giving the sleeping demon an appreciative nod. "Sloppy and unpredictable, but good."
"Good for sales, too," Nagi noted. "We should do this every week."
"We're still going to need repairs."
Nagi glanced around. "Well...it IS a dojo, and people come here mainly to fight. Do you really think they'll be concerned if there's blood on a few things?"
"...this is a way of cutting costs, isn't it?" Spike asked.
"You want your Christmas bonus now or not?" Nagi asked, offering him a wad of cash.
"And to all a good night," Spike said, stuffing the cash in his pocket. "A VERY good night."
* * * * *
Disclaimer: Most people are Temps, so they belong to either the Dojo or Sake Bar for the time being. Buu...belongs to Eriol now, apparently. And Yugi's mine, of course.