PROLOGUE

They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Tara Knowles wasn't exactly sure who "they" were, but she knew they were right. Which was why she never bothered planning anything more than a couple of days in advance. She'd been a planner once- when she was young, in love, and naively thought she had a life full of wonderful things ahead of her. She was going to be a doctor. She was going to leave Charming with the love of her adolescent life, Jackson Teller, and the two of them were going to have a magnificent future together. That's the thing about plans, though. They allow you to hope. And in Tara's experience, anything she'd ever hoped for had been taken from her, one way or another. Including Jackson Teller.

Theirs was a young love, but it was an epic one. They crashed into each other's lives when they were both in desperate need of someone to hold on to, something to look forward to. Jax was still reeling from the death of his father, which came on the heels of his little brother's death a few years prior. Tara was struggling to take care of herself and her alcoholic father, the way she'd done since her mother was killed when she was just a child. They were both loners. Rebels. Lost souls. And then they found each other.

Tara was a 4.0 student, focusing all of her energy on getting a college scholarship so that she could study to be a doctor, something she'd wanted since she was a little girl. Jax was the proverbial prince of Charming, poised to take over the outlaw biker club his father had lorded over until his death as soon as he was of age. In reality, their relationship should have been nothing more than a brief intersection as they crossed each other's paths on their way to very different lives. But what began as a tawdry teenage affair quickly became something else entirely. It became everything. And it changed everything. For both of them. Together, they lost their way, and then found a new direction- one that would lead them toward a beautiful life. Tara would become a doctor. Jax would become a writer. They would live in a cute little house on the coast with cute little children and the sort of loving family that neither of them ever had growing up. At least, that was the plan.

The day after graduation, Jax announced his impending departure to his family. An eighteen-year-old boy abandoning the nest was nothing unusual. Some would even consider it healthy, normal. But to Jackson Teller's mother and the motorcycle club he'd pledged as a prospect just months before, it was the ultimate betrayal. He was never supposed to leave Charming. He was never supposed to leave the club. He was never supposed to leave Gemma. They threatened, they begged, they yelled, they cried. But he refused to change his mind, and so they disowned him. All of them. Devastated and frightened of what the club might do to retaliate, Jax was counting down the days until he and Tara left town. They got so close.

And then, just two days before they were due to leave for the University of California San Diego, where they'd both been accepted, life happened. Tara's father fell ill, which was really no surprise considering that he'd lived on a diet of alcohol and cigarettes for over a decade. His liver was failing. His kidneys were shutting down. He had just months to live. Tara couldn't leave him. But Jax had to go. The only thing keeping him alive after betraying the club was his last name, and that wasn't an open-ended free pass. It had an expiration date- one that only Clay Morrow and the rest of the Sons of Anarchy knew. Jax couldn't wait around to find out when that was. They would kill him. Or worse. No, Jax had to go. Tara had to stay. And neither of them would ever forgive the other for their choice.

CHAPTER ONE

"Mommy, when's daddy gonna get here?" Four-year-old Sophie Knowles-Telford bounced impatiently on the balls of her feet, her chocolate brown pigtails swirling around her head like tiny tentacles. Fitting, since Tara wondered if her daughter wasn't more wild animal than human most days. Of all of the things Tara had done in her life, Sophie was the thing she was most proud of. Ironic, considering that she was the result of a brief friends-with-benefits relationship gone awry. A "perfect mistake," Tara often called her, although never to her face.

"Soon, baby," Tara promised. She sat at a table near the front door of the SAMCRO clubhouse, itching to get out of her scrubs. It had been a long day at the animal clinic. She'd been bitten, peed on, and was that…yep, dog vomit caked to the toes of her white sneakers. Nice. Soon, she pleaded silently. Tara loved her daughter, but every once in a while, she needed a break. And it was rare that Chibs was ever off-duty, so the breaks came few and far between. He promised, though. He promised he would be back to the clubhouse by 5:30 following a three-day run to Nevada with Clay and the boys, and that after that he would have an entire week off. Tara needed him to keep his promise this time.

"I'm booooooored," Sophie whined, circling the table as if she was playing duck, duck, goose. Tara sighed, resting her aching head in her tired hands.

"Is that Miss Sophie I hear out there?" came a voice from the kitchen. Tara was instantly relieved.

"Gemma!" Sophie squealed as the SAMCRO matriarch appeared behind the bar.

"Hi, baby!" She opened her arms just in time for the little girl to leap into them. The two hugged and laughed and had a tickle war before settling down at the table beside Tara. "Hey, sweetheart," Gemma said. "Long day at the office?"

Tara chuckled. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well," Gemma offered with a smirk, "you smell like kibble and you look like you pulled an all-nighter. So yeah, it's pretty obvious."

"It's just been a long week," Tara explained. "And Sophie really needs some quality time with her daddy."

"Aaaah," Gemma nodded, understanding that it was Tara who really needed Sophie to have some quality time with her daddy. "Well if they don't get back soon, I can take her home with me." Sophie gasped, her eyes flitting excitedly between her mother and Gemma. Tara smiled. If anyone had told her she'd someday allow Gemma Teller-Morrow to babysit her child, she would have thought them mad. The two women had a tumultuous history, and it was all because of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy they'd both once loved so much. It took over a year for Gemma to accept Tara as a part of Jax's life, and even then, she'd done so grudgingly. She saw Tara as a threat, and rightly so. Tara did want to take Jax away from her, away from Charming. But in the end, it was Jax who left them both. For years, Gemma blamed Tara. Hated her. Banned her from the clubhouse.

But things changed once Sophie was born. Tara was motherless, after all, and Gemma was essentially childless after disowning Jax. They each had a void the other was able to fill. Tara needed someone to show her the ropes, someone to support her during those early days of motherhood the way one's own mother would. And Gemma desperately wanted grandchildren. Sophie was the closest she was ever going to get. Besides, Tara wasn't any sort of threat anymore. She was just another sad Charming local with a menial job, a small house, and a club member for her baby's father. She wasn't special or better than anyone. She was just one of the gang.

"We'll see," Tara said with a wink. When Sophie's focus turned elsewhere, Tara offered Gemma a silent "thank you."

"Gemma, I'm gonna be five soon," Sophie announced with a proud grin.

"I know," Gemma played along. "What are we gonna do about that?"

Sophie shrugged her tiny shoulders, her palms upturned. "I guess have a party." Gemma and Tara both laughed at the child's innocent assumption.

"How can I help?" Gemma asked, turning to Tara.

Tara waived a nonchalant hand in the air. "I think we're just going to do cake and ice cream at the house. No big deal." Gemma scoffed as Sophie pouted.

"No big deal?" Gemma raised an eyebrow. "My little princess turning five certainly is a huge deal. In fact, I think it calls for a princess party. What do you think, Sophie?" The little girl nodded and clapped, too excited to sit still any longer. She jumped down from Gemma's lap and began dancing around the room.

"A princess party!" she cheered.

"Gemma, I can't-"

"Let me take care of everything," Gemma insisted. "Please. I've never gotten to plan a party for a little girl before."

Tara shook her head, feeling a bit embarrassed that she could neither afford nor take the time to arrange the sort of giant birthday party Sophie deserved. "Alright."

"Daddy!" Sophie squeaked as the roar of approaching motorcycles rattled the clubhouse windows. Tara felt like the weight of a small child was lifted from her shoulders, even if just temporarily. She stood up and grabbed Sophie's arm as the excited preschooler ran past her.

"Let's let him get inside," she insisted, hefting her daughter into her arms. Sophie wiggled and squirmed as her mother tried to corral her excitement. Just as Tara started to lose her grip, the door opened. Sophie pushed herself free and ran toward the gang of leather-clad criminals. Most little girls would be afraid of such a crowd, but Sophie was right at home among them. She held her hand up as they passed, each of them giving her a high-five. Clay, Bobby, Piney, Opie, and then the one she'd been very impatiently waiting for.

"Daddy!" she hollered again. Chibs scooped his daughter high into the air, twirling her around.

"There's my girl," he crooned, his thick Scottish accent marring his words. When Sophie was a baby, Tara was worried she'd have a hard time understanding Chibs when he talked, or that she might be afraid of his scars. But she'd forgotten how absolutely accepting children were of others, until they were taught differently. To Sophie, Chibs had always just been "da," flaws and all. Tara smiled in spite of herself, watching Chibs and Sophie together. The way they loved one another made up for all of the heartache and hassle involved in raising a child with a member of the MC. "Hey sweetheart," he said to Tara, kissing her on the cheek as he approached.

"Hey," she teased. "Glad you could make it!" He rolled his eyes, shifting Sophie into one arm as she clung to his neck. Tara handed him a hot pink backpack with purple hearts on it and smiled. "Goes well with your kutte."

"Yeah, yeah," Chibs groaned. Tara laughed, punching him playfully in the gut. She was so thankful for their continued friendship, even after things got weird. She was worried they might not be able to co-parent and stay friends, but they'd done so beautifully. In fact, Chibs was probably her best friend, if she really thought about it. She could talk to him about anything, and go to him whenever she needed help. There was no animosity, no jealousy, no resentment. Well, almost no resentment. Tara often found herself feeling bitter that the club prevented him from playing a more constant, reliable role in their daughter's life. But she learned to live with it. She had no other choice.

Chibs set the backpack on the table and wrapped his free arm around Tara's shoulders. "Got any big plans for the week?" he asked.

"Not really," she sighed, leaning into him. There were no romantic feelings between them, there hadn't been for years, but she loved how comfortable they were together. "Just gonna try to relax, and-" Something about the horrified look on Gemma's face made Tara pause mid-sentence, just as all of the conversations going on around them stopped abruptly. You could have heard a pin drop, or, as it were, a door close.

Tara followed the shocked gazes of her ragtag family to the figure standing just inside the clubhouse door, one that was both foreign and familiar at the same time. For ten years, she'd thought about this moment- where it would happen, how it would happen, what she'd be wearing, what he'd look like. Never did she picture it happening in the SAMCRO clubhouse while she was in the arms of the father of her child, his former brother, wearing pale blue scrubs and not a lick of makeup. But he…he was more beautiful than she could have imagined. The sun had darkened his skin and lightened his hair, making his sparkling blue eyes pop. He was wearing a casual gray v-neck that clung to his toned body in all the right places, and jeans full of holes and snags that were too perfectly placed to have been created naturally. He looked like a goddamn supermodel. He was nervous, Tara could tell. But he managed a smile as he nodded guardedly.

"Hello, everyone," he said politely, his voice slicing through Tara like a knife. His cautious eyes surveyed the room until he found Gemma. "Mom." He swallowed hard, trying not to look too surprised when his gaze landed on Tara and her family. "Tara."

Her heart was pounding so fast and so hard, Tara felt as if it might explode inside her chest. Her hands were tingling and her stomach was twisting into thousands of uncomfortable knots. She opened her mouth to speak, afraid no words would come out. Only one did. "Jax."