It's been one month to the day since he passed. I have tried to move on, we all have, but it's tasking. We have tried to move on, but it's been so difficult. There is a three month grace period where we continue to operate as a team, or whatever is left of it before a new leader is assigned to us. I have to give credit to Ren though. He's been trying to step up to the mark, he really has. I don't know whether it's his way of coping or comforting Nora, but he took to the role quickly. He's doing as good a job as he can, but He's not Jaune. There will never be another Jaune.

I can still see him. Every night when I finally succumb to the dark void of nightmare I see him. Each feature and mark on his face mapped out perfectly in my mind along with his uplifting personality. In my head while I slumber I can see him. I can see his pain, his suffering, and above all his sacrifice.

Why did he have to jump? We could have helped him, he must have known that. He must have! Instead he make the dire mistake. One final mistake. I get angry a lot now. Nora has to come and calm me down. She must have it hard now. She's kind of been the pin cushion of us all. Listening to our abuses to anything and everything. She used to be so happy, so giddy, without a care in the world. Now she seems the most responsible of us all.

What has he turned her into?

Everything has changed in our room now. Even the light seems dimmer as it finds it's way through our curtains every morning. The world just seems so much darker without him.

The note is still on our table. I read it most days.

Pyrrha. You won't have to worry about me anymore. You won't have to put up with the bumbling boy in class or have your grades suffer as a consequence for helping me. I really do appreciate what you have done for me, and I think that it's only here that I can express how truly grateful I am. I will miss you, and I hope that you will miss me too, but you need to carry on. Find another partner, another leader. I was no good. Perhaps you can find someone that is actually worthy. I love you.

The stains made by our collective tears make the extract almost illegible, but I've memorized it now. I am constantly worrying for him. Even now. I just want him to be safe. I just want us to be together again. It's hard to accept that he wrote this, given that he never told me most of these points himself, but it helps to read it. It makes our time of strife seem less daunting. Almost like he's still around somehow.

Since Jaune's passing another problem has arisen. I can't exactly tell Ren and Nora about it now, not in this state. I will eventually though. I can't keep this from them. The night before he jumped, Ren and Nora were away. I won't go into the specifics of it all but long story short some things were said and some feelings were shared.

We ended up in bed together.

Two weeks later, I found out that I'm going a mother.

Jaune would be over the moon. He loves children and it was one of the things that he was naturally good at. He told me stories about his younger siblings and how they used to play together. He would have made the best father Remnant had seen.

I still see him in my mind, but now next to him I see another figure. A beautiful baby. They look so similar in my head, the same scraggly blonde hair and the goofy smile that he always seemed to wield.

If only he would be around to see his first born child.

From this, another problem springs to mind. What will become of my dreams? I was destined to become a huntress, but what now. I can't exactly just get rid of the child, for his sake, but I can't go on fighting either. It wouldn't be fair for the baby.

I guess I'm just another victim of the strings of life not being pulled in my favour.

In a way, we all are.

I'm going to miss him. I still do miss him. I always will miss him.

I will tell the baby about him. About how kind and passionate he was, and how if Daddy was still around, he would love him/her to the ends of the earth and back. They will forever know the story of Jaune Arc, famed hunter, protector of the people.