A/N: Son of a tazzelworm. Ok I posted this last night half asleep so I didn't check to see that it had loaded right. FanFiction sometimes does this crap to me. Sorry.

(^o^)

Chapter Five: Gossip Boy

Ruby knew she shouldn't be trying to learn new lessons from the Ninja Nomicon during class, really she did. It wasn't that she didn't care about her education, if anyone were to ever imply that they would be picking their misguided butts off the floor. It's just Ruby had already memorized this semesters curriculum, curtesy of her maternal grandmother who refused to let Ruby be normal on the academic skill. Her parents also agreed that it was a good idea to have an understanding of the material before heading into the year. This system had been going on since third grade. Her grandmother would cram knowledge into Ruby's head a semester before she took the classes. Once during summer and once during Christmas, and only for a week. Honestly Ruby and her grandmother never needed much more than that. It wasn't that Ruby was a genius she just had good memory, problem solving skills, and already learned a lot by doing projects with her father.

So yes, Ruby gave into her selfish desire to ignore the teacher, who was quite honestly droning in a manner that showed their own personal distaste to this particular lesson (it was a throwback to a unit in seventh grade that would be necessary for what they were going to learn). So, she carefully withdrew the book of vast ninja knowledge and arranged her desk so it looked like her World History I book.

She NEEDED to know how to get some shnasty memories removed from her head because yes she knew the school itself cut some corners and had its fair share of oddities, but she did not need to know anything more than that thank you very much.

The normal sensation of falling happened as her mind left her body and her conscience was shoved through the book. "Excuse me," Ruby said lightly feeling like a kid who was interrupting a parent from something much better than listening to her prattle on, "Nomicon do you have any advice on how to forget something?"

As the world around her began to vibrate and bright colors came into being along with words Ruby knew that the answer was not exactly straight forward. She didn't particularly mind, the Nomicon's riddles kept her mind active and sharpened her ability to view what others were saying. "The way to forget is to remember."

She had no idea what that meant but she felt the Nomicon eject her in warning of something. A marker nearing her face was the only clue she got. Looking up she saw the kid in front of her handing her a pen for the map. So maybe someone (Debbie) had seen Howard steall her pencil bag before class started to search for a pencil and knew that if he was to give it back Ruby after the bell rang the both would get in trouble. (Debbie wasn't doing this for Howard she was doing it for Ruby, the sweet girl who had, in Debbie's opinion, a bad choice in friends). Ruby gave a grateful smile as she took the offered object discreetly and quickly filled in the areas that were specified in the instructions. She finished second after Debbie, who also had set up a sly rotation for the colored pencils so that both girls would not get caught. Their teacher was harsh on people who forgot supplies and those that 'encouraged' such irresponsible behavior.

As the bell rang Ruby quietly packed her supplies shooting Debbie an appreciative look along with a quiet thanks (both knew it was sincere in showing Ruby's gratitude). Debbie smiled gently before shooting Howard a look and walking off. Both girls had silently agreed to meet up tomorrow for lunch.

"So, what were you doing in the Nomicon?" her ginger friend asked after the other students, and surprisingly the teacher, had filed out of the classroom.

"You think being the ninja is all flipping, punching, and hitting, and it is. Which is awesome. But sometimes my ninjaing takes me to a wicked gross place I call the shnasty zone." Memories entered Ruby's mind and the stories became words on her lips spilling the horrors her young eyes had been forced to endure. "The janitor chews the gum he scrapes off the bottom of the desk. You want to know how I know?" Her voice was distant and even though she didn't see Howard's reaction she continued. "It was a normal air vent chase during Study Hall, a cloud of stank I was chasing through the school's ventilation system, when we both saw it out of the corner of our eyes."

She shivered as more memories pressed to the forefront of her brain burned into her retinas. "Don't even get me started on the time I saw Principle Slimovits after school." She recounted seeing him on accident while being chased by a Robo Ape. He was stripped down to nothing but a diaper, boots, and a ten-gallon hat preaching that he was a big baby cowboy. Shooting fake pistols and fake galloping. She and the Robo Ape had agreed on the pure disgust both held for the act. That was just gross.

"And you know taco Tuesday in the cafeteria?" This story hit close to home, because even if she didn't eat the school's 'famed' meals, opting instead for her dad's lovingly packed lunches, she still had a love for Mexican food. It was with a heavy heart that she told Howard how another Robo Ape had stopped to watch the making and how she had also wanted to see what was so 'special' about the meal. They used squirrels. She had comforted the Robo Ape as it threw up some extra bolts and screw gently circling the area on its back before running away herself to throw up.

She was laughing in hysteria, this was shnasty why couldn't she just be blessed enough to get amnesia and forget it? Seriously.

"Thanks for nothing Cunningham, now I can't eat the tacos." After a brief moment of consideration he amended his statement, "Nah I'm still going to eat the tacos." Ruby rolled her eyes at him before slinging her back pack over her shoulder.

"So, I went into the Nomicon to see if there was a way to unremember that stuff, like a mind wipe."

Howard was all for the mind wipe and explained it was because of the Whoppe World commercial. He justified how it made him forget everything else.

Ruby, a little angry about almost getting thrown to the lions because of the snatching of her pencil bag (which he had handed back during his explanation) gained an evil look. She began to sing the accursed theme song driving Howard away.

*(^o^)*

While Howard went to ask his sister for lunch money she decided to grab her lunch from her locker. It wasn't as though this separation didn't happen at least twice a week, really it allowed her to talk to her other friends. However, today she was getting the feeling that Howard was getting himself in a situation that would screw her over.

As she entered her combo in the lock and gently set her book bag on the bottom removing books, binders, folders, and notebooks for her morning classes neatly switching them with her afternoon class materials she wrote down what she needed to take home on the magnetic white board her mom had gotten her when she realized that her daughter sometimes had the remembrance of a gold fish when she had something else going on, and right now that new algorithm she was working was taking up a good portion of her time. Not that there was much, just a Geometry worksheet, a diagram for next week's Science quiz, and a reminder to study her English vocabulary as there was the weekly evaluation on Friday concerning those words, their meaning, and how to use them in a sentence.

Looking around her locker she almost smiled in appreciation. Sure, the locker itself was old, while the paint wasn't chipping it was still faded. She had two shelfs at the top, the top was where she kept her textbooks and the second one was for each subjects' respective binder, folder, and notebook. Below the second shelf attached to the back wall was three hooks, one held a A. Nigma High sweatshirt, her mother's from when she was her age, one for the rare occasion that her book bag was to stay in her locker, and one for another A. Nigma High sweatshirt, this one much larger and more likely her dad's if not a comfort one for her mom. On the inside of the door of the locker ruby had pictures scattered around. One was of her and her parents' when she was much younger, her mom was wearing a flowery summer dress, her dad in a t-shirt and khaki pants flip flops most likely adorning his feet. Ruby herself was situated in between the two a big bow holding her hair out of her face, the lower half of which was obstructed by a beach ball.

Another picture was of her and her Uncle Serpent, it was an action shot most likely taken by her mother when she was in fifth grade and had challenged him to an arm wrestling match, which he had allowed her to win. One was of a toddler version of herself with her Uncle Camillio and Uncle Holger. Many of them were focused on her and Howard through the ages. A couple had Debbie Kang, Theresa Fowler, and Ruby herself hanging out mostly during the bimonthly girls' night.

Speaking of Debbie Kang and Theresa Fowler both girls were approaching her quickly, most likely to talk about next week's night out. Ruby slowly grabbed the paper lunch bag (Tazz had hidden her normal one this morning though she was certain he would likely return it tonight as he looked guilty when Ruby had allowed a sad look to cross her face) and closed the locker leaving her bag and afternoon materials to be left in the locker until after lunch. Waving gently the girls walked to where Heidi would be.

*(^o^)*

Ruby didn't know rather to be angry or disappointed in Howard, in hindsight telling him about what resided in the Shnasty Zone was a bit of a stupid move on her part she still had trusted him to keep it a secret. No amount of slow clap could ever destroy the feeling of betrayal that had nestled itself in her heart and stomach. She had moved to eat lunch with Bucky and Flute Girl (Sarah McEris was okay being known and referred to as Flute Girl for as long as Ruby had known her) opting to sit with some friends she hadn't seen in a while.

Bucky seemed on edge again watching her intently in awe and fear from what she did not know. Though he did seem to calm down as she engaged both him and Flute Girl in conversation. They recalled old stories from junior high, and how much easier school had been in the previous institution when Flute Girl's notification for Heidi's webcast rang out (Flute Girl may dislike gossip and Heidi herself but she refused to be left out on important news) and the three gathered around the small screen to view what was about to happen.

On the screen was Howard looking at something in the distance in mild shock, as she looked up she realized it was her he was looking at. Even through the crowd of kids who were waiting for more gossip he was looking to her she shrugged and diverted her eyes, she was downright furious with him at the moment. She couldn't blame him fully though, she should have known he was a blabber mouth.

On the screen Howard was showing that he felt the pressure, his eyes dating left and right. As Heidi's voice played in the background, demanding and threatening, Ruby stiffened. Howard was an idiot, but he was her best friend. He would never betray her trust. Their friendship meant more than that. Right?

"I know who the ninja is!"

Apparently not.

*(^o^)*

Ruby was seeing red. That was how angry she was. Howard had tried to catch her after lunch but she had left quickly and gotten permission from her Study period teacher to visit the library for a more constructive environment. How could, or rather how dare he. The audacity, the nerve! She was seething as she pulled the Nomicon out of her bag, not that she took it out on the book she treated it with the normal amount of care that one would treat their grandmother's fine china, taking extra caution to not slam things around in her fury.

She hissed as she asked the Nomicon once more for a mind wipe. The book however seemed to sense her fury and decided to calm her before allowing her to seek its wisdom. It glowed as she entered it, ink and words coming together to from a body. The form the book appeared to take was that of a boy perhaps a year or two older then the Freshman herself. His hair was red, the type that a teacher would mark on a wrong answer, the same color that occupied the top of her mother's head. He wore a suit much like the ninja suit though it was more reminiscent of the books cover, with a hooded cloak.

"What is wrong, Ninja?" Ruby could not describe the books voice it was all around her, every octave and every tone. It was everything and at the same time it was nothing. She did not answer verbally, instead pushing forth her thoughts and memories of lunch. It was odd that she had figured the book could work this way. She could share her memories just as easily as its lessons if she so wished. It used a lot of concentration and a desire on her account to share it.

The Nomicon pulsed red in returned anger. How dare Howard. Placing a hand on her shoulder the book decided to focus on the main problem. "They key to forget is to remember." He gently said urging her to get his meaning. With how dire the situation he wanted to give her the answer, but they both knew she would never learn that way. She had to piece the lesson together on her own and it pained the Nomicon to watch its Ninja struggle so.

*(^o^)*

"What do you want?" She hissed as he came to sit by her on the bleachers, awaiting the bus. She had made it her mission to ignore him for the rest of the day.

"I've figure it out, my game plan. I'll just string them along until you come up with a plan to fix this." Ruby bristled. He wanted HER to fix yet another one of his messes? A mess that could shoob up her secret identity at risk thus endangering those she cares about?

"I could mind wipe the entire town," she paused letting the extent of Heidi's reach settle in on the red head. Heidi may be a Brittany but Ruby was not going to delude herself into thinking the female Weinerman child was not a tad bit influential. Howard was joyous at the idea until she told him there was no mind wipe. Just in time to as the bus pulled up. She grabbed Theresa to be her seatmate warning the baton twirler that Howard had done something so stupid that she was irked.

*(^o^)*

Ruby knew her father must be some magical creature as he was home when she returned, curled over his computer running numbers and simulations for the company, but home earlier than normal with two mugs of hot chocolate. The plain one was obviously his but the one with giant marshmallows bobbing up and down was hers.

He didn't ask any questions just wrapped her in a hug after she had set her bag down and pulled off her jacket revealing her birthmark. It was strange and greenish but she loved it regardless as it was the same as her mom's forever linking the two. Her father gently rubbed circles in her back. While both her parents were great comforts her dad seemed to have a sixth sense concerning her he always knew when she was distressed.

The two stayed like this until her dad asked her to run a last minute part to McFist's main building, specifically to Viceroy. Ruby agreed as last time the two had bonded over their general love of robotics, science, math, and problem solving. Besides it gave her an in. Shrugging on one of her father's old jackets from A. Nigma Middle School she grabbed a box and placed the prat inside.

Peddling on her bike calmed her nerves and the tension that had filled her muscles along with the hot rage.

*(^o^)*

Turns out that part had been the finishing touch to Viceroy's thought extraction machine. It was a good idea if it wasn't about to destroy her life. Oddly enough McFist had looked at her in confusion when she showed up once more. She couldn't blame him, she was a young girl carrying a very delicate part looking like she had just cried her eyes out because of some terrible soap opera. She hadn't know she had been supplying her doom as she handed it over to Viceroy receiving his signature turning until she heard Howard's voice screaming her name.

Viceroy and McFIst covered the window two seconds after she turned, but those two seconds were enough to enable the purple haired girl to see her chubbier friend grasped in a firm metallic grip above the ground. Face pale in fear.

"Excuse me is that-" her question was cut off as McFist and Viceroy lead her out of the room, taking an arm each and wishing her a nice rest of her day.

She had left the building before throwing on the mask (it would take Viceroy at least fifteen minutes to install the part and three more to get his device functional and McFist's building had security cameras EVERYWHERE). She quickly backtracked entering the vents.

*(^o^)*

Back at the Cunningham residence Lee was fixing dinner having arrived home twelve minutes ago. "Biffy…" her voice trailed, "Ruby is our daughter, do you think she would enjoy vents?"

"Not nearly as much as you dear." Her husband replied swiping his hand down in dismissal.

*(^o^)*

Infrared lasers, columns of electricity, spinning balls of fire. Dear cheese did McFist know how to bobby trap an air vent. Dodging all of it took caution, calculation, and dumb luck. "Scariest vent ever." Ruby complained loudly her voice a groan. And apparently robo apes drank at oil O'clock, song reference.

'Who puts robo ape as a heatable option?!' Not that she minded it was pretty honking bruce to watch its head explode.

*(^o^)*

So, all is well that ends well. It took the Whoppe World theme and embarrassment on Howard's part Ruby couldn't find it in herself to care. That was her retribution for him almost out her secret.

On another not Tazz had a fit when he saw Howard after the incident.

*(^o^)(^o^)(^O^)(^o^)(^o^)*

A/N: So, I've been gone a while and took quite a few liberties in this episode? Sorry? Let me make it clear though that I'm at that age where I had three AP exams, an extra science, and a sport the fact I still remember my name is amazing. I'm also not as into these shows quite as much, I still love them to bits and pieces but as I haven't had any new hype to push me on I've forgotten some important details. Nevertheless I don't plan on dropping this story. Updates might not be as common though, again sorry.

TO CLEAR SOMETHINGS UP:

Bucky doesn't like Ruby, but Bash does and Bucky knows. Bucky has been friends with ruby and worries about her.

Debbie and Theresa adore Ruby and despise Howard, which may be expanded upon in the OneShot series spinoff I might do.

Ruby isn't Randy just with boobs and lady genitals. She has lady hormones and lady rage. She behaves in a manner that most girl I know would.

Ruby reacts differently because she was raised differently, remember she's not really a Cunningham

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