This first was originally a drabble in my Well Played series, but I got so many requests to continue it that (amazingly) I decided to do so. This should be a total of 5 chapters, updated regularly. Huge thanks to Aprylynn for the beta and thanks to Brenda for being pushy (in a good way).

I don't own the show NCIS Los Angeles, nor do I own the characters from it. If I did, they would have a lot more sex than they do. I mean, seriously, they're human. They need to get theirs.

Tightly wrapped fists pounded the Nexercys over and over again, eliciting praises such as "solid, strong, great hit" until finally the animated body turned black and blue and the screen flashed "KNOCKOUT." That didn't stop Kensi from beating the ever-loving shit out of the paddles until the screen just shut itself off completely. Maybe she had delivered a death blow, or maybe she actually broke the machine. Either way, praise from an automated voice wasn't what she really desired. No, she just needed an outlet to release months of pent up frustration.

Deeks. Afghanistan. Jack. Deeks again. Life hadn't been easy for her lately, and if she tried hard enough she could convince herself that all of those things were the reason she was going full MMA on a defenseless exercise machine. Every punch helped her push her feelings further and deeper inside. Her deeper issues just weren't something she felt like dealing with at the present time. Those feelings weren't the reason why she felt the need to come to work early enough to avoid any questions about her apparent anger at a punching and kicking machine, however.

Her current problem was much simpler than the many complicated issues afflicting her psyche. She just needed to get laid. Pounded. Driven into oblivion. Her solo sessions just weren't cutting it anymore. A good deep dicking, that would cut the muster. A Marty Deeks deep dicking, to be specific. Unfortunately, she didn't see it happening any time in the near future.

Panting heavily, Kensi dropped her head and rested her hands on her knees. Sweat dripped in her eyes and on the floor below her, followed by a line of spit. Disgusting, but at least spit was better than tears. She grabbed the towel from the back of her shorts and wiped the mat clean, standing up to compose herself. Water. Cold shower. Coffee. Then she'd be good to go.

Unless Deeks was wearing an impossibly tight shirt and jeans again. Then she was screwed, and not in the way she wanted to be.

Staring into the small bathroom mirror, Kensi pulled her ponytail down and fluffed her coif. She knew she had fantastic hair and wanted to show it off as much as possible. Not that she was feeling jealous or...no, that was a complete and utter lie. When Talia del Campo made her presence known earlier by immediately hugging Deeks, her spidey senses started tingling and a thousand questions flooded her brain. But she kept her cool and smiled at Talia's brash behavior at their crime scene, waiting until she could be alone with her partner to question his assessment of the very attractive DEA agent.

Deeks probably didn't deserve the physical beating Kensi had been dishing out to him all day. Maybe one punch was justified, but certainly not 4. Apparently she hadn't done a good enough job of taking out her sexual frustration in the gym that morning. The fact that Deeks had decided to paint his clothes on (seriously, how did he even pull on those jeans) wasn't helping her unfortunate situation. Every single flex of his muscles could be seen clearly and was making her feel even more sex-deprived than before.

The last punch was the worst, and she knew it. She was already wound up so tightly that she thought she might pop at any minute. But something else happened entirely during that conversation, something that shook her to her core.

"She's beautiful."

"You're beautiful."

Her heart fluttered like a fucking butterfly had just broken free from it's cocoon in her chest. So she reacted violently again because she didn't know what the hell else to do. Their "relationship" had been somewhat of a roller-coaster ride lately: exhilarating and nauseating at the same time. Not that it was excusable, but that butterfly beating against her heart reminded her that she wasn't just horny; she was lonely, too. And the one person that she wanted to fill both of those voids was currently standing outside the doorway in the NCIS boatshed talking with Big-Titty Talia.

Kensi grunted and dug into her pocket for her Burt's Bees lip shimmer, puckering her lips as she applied the glorified chapstick to her mouth. It wasn't for Deeks; primping for him was unnecessary. They were at the point in their non-relationship now where the mutual attraction was understood. The problem was that they were both too fucked up to figure out how to act on it again. Beautifying herself was for Talia's benefit. She may be sexy, but Kensi was sexier and was the one that Deeks really wanted. Hopefully.

Popping open one more button at the top of her shirt, she forced a smile in the mirror. "Hey partner, my ass," she gritted through her teeth. It was possible that Talia was a perfectly nice and competent agent who had nothing but friendly or even strictly professional intentions when it came to Deeks. Either way, Kensi was not about to let that bitch have her partner.

She swung open the door and sauntered out confidently, only to see Deeks and Talia laughing and smiling at each other. He even looked like maybe he was blushing, and the conversation quickly ceased as she joined them. Were they talking about her? Or worse, were they not talking about her? Neither one looked willing to share the details as they shared a glance with each other and then at her.

Well, wasn't that just...fantastic.

Peace could always be found in a pint of ice cream. Or actually, a gallon of Chocolate Cookie Dough ice cream, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream after a long hot shower. Comfortable Victoria's Secret pajamas and 10 Things I Hate About You completed her evening plans as Kensi finally sunk into her couch for the night. If she was okay lying to herself, she could almost be convinced that this was a suitable replacement for a mind-blowing orgasm. Almost.

Patrick's devilish smile made her mourn the beauty that was Heath Ledger but she figured that after the hellish day, she should just be happy that she wasn't mourning the loss of her actual friends. It seemed like as a group, the team at OSP just had some sort of special luck that enabled them to get out of even the most dangerous situations alive. Usually, anyway. She feared the day when their luck would run out again.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Kensi shoved another large spoonful of ice cream in her mouth (avoiding rubbing her swollen lip) and turned her attention to the adorableness of Bianca and Cameron. A tweeting sound, her text message alert, from her phone startled her. Another tweet followed soon after. She groaned and extended her arm to grab the phone from her coffee table. It was Deeks, of course.

*So*

*Today was pretty weird huh*

Kensi grunted as she typed an answer back.

*No shit Sherlock*

She smiled, knowing her response probably prompted a laugh from her partner.

*Wanna talk about it*

*?*

No, she didn't want to talk about it. What would she say, that she made an ass out of herself? That they almost lost two of their best friends? That a small part of her hoped that Hetty's trip to Washington would force their Operations Manager to open up about the true nature of the White Ghost mission? All of those things were true, but Kensi didn't necessarily want to discuss them via text message. She still didn't want to tell him no, though. If they were going to try to be better partners and maybe (eventually one day that couldn't come soon enough) more than that, they needed to communicate better.

*If you want to*

About 30 seconds passed before she heard the tap tap tap of knuckles on her glass door. The sound startled her off of the couch and she stood in the middle of the floor, looking at the disarray surrounding her. Deeks was used to her apartment being a disaster, but she herself was looking worse than usual that night. She ran her hands through her damp hair and smoothed down her skimpy yet horribly wrinkled pajamas. A drop of chocolate sauce smudged down her shirt and she hissed, stomping to the front door.

Deeks' hand was raised and prepared to knock again when the door swung open. Kensi looked him up and down slowly, noting his change of clothes into a more casual tee shirt and shorts with flip flops. He must have gone home before deciding he needed to pop in on her unexpectedly to...talk.

"Am I invited in or...you just going to keep looking at me like you've seen a ghost?" Deeks asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kensi blinked and moved to the side, motioning for him to enter. "Not sure if today is a good day for ghost jokes, Deeks." She stood with her hand on her hips, using her long fingers to cover up the chocolate stain on her shirt, while her partner easily made himself at home on the couch. "What are you, uh, doing here? Exactly?"

He shrugged. "Today was rough, had some stuff on my mind. I can leave though, if I'm interrupting something important like-" Deeks picked up her ice cream, took a bite, and pointed the spoon to the television, "ice cream and 90s teen flicks."

Curling up as tightly as possible in the corner of the couch to avoid any accidental contact, she glared at him and snatched her ice cream back. "You know me. This is how I relax. And this movie is awesome, by the way."

"It is pretty epic. And you're right. I do know you." He watched enviously as Kensi shoved another bite of ice cream in her mouth. "And I should have known better. You don't share."

Well, that could have been taken multiple ways. Kensi chose to pretend he was only referring to the ice cream. "My ice cream," she teased with a smirk.

"Yes, you have made that...abundantly clear," he responded, eyes twinkling.

Kensi held his gaze silently and took a final bite of ice cream before tossing the container on her coffee table. She turned her attention back to the movie even though she could still feel Deeks' stare melting her skin. "Hey uh, you got a little bit of-" he pointed to her face, "chocolate."

"Oh." Twisting her tongue out, Kensi licked the wrong side of her mouth. "Get it?"

"No no, it's right..." Deeks leaned close to her, brushing her cheek with his thumb. She couldn't stop herself from closing her eyes and parting her lips at the contact. "There."

Oh no, there was the butterfly again. This time it was accompanied by an unmistakable warmth spreading between her legs. Kensi may have even whimpered. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Deeks was eyeing her curiously with his head cocked to the side. Oh yeah, she definitely whimpered.

"Are you okay?" Deeks smiled for a second, then puckered his lips like he didn't know what type of expression he should be making.

"Yeah, no, I'm-" Lonely. Aching. Horny. Wet. Dying a little inside. "fine. I'm fine."

"Fine. Of course." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "Listen, I probably don't need to say this, and I know you didn't ask, but I just need to get it out. There is nothing going on with me and Talia. That's just kinda who she is, ya know? She doesn't hold back and loves to get a rise out of people. No pun intended."

Kensi snorted. That was what she had suspected, but it was still nice to hear confirmation. "I didn't ask because I never really thought there was. I guess it's not really my business-"

"No, it would have been your business," Deeks interrupted. "I lived pretty much like we were in a relationship while you were gone. We never defined it, but that's how I acted. So to me, that would have been...cheating I guess."

Kensi was about ready to kill that damn butterfly. "So what the hell happened, Deeks? How did you go from that to-" she motioned between them with her fingers. "This. The non-relationship that has all the disadvantages of a real relationship and none of the benefits."

"Benefits?" His eyes were twinkling again and his fingers started tracing circles around her ankle that was closest to him. Bastard. He was trying to distract her from the question she desperately wanted to know the answer to. Give it to Deeks, he was one hell of an operator; it's probably why he was such a good undercover cop. Kensi let him get away with it this time, partly because she knew he would talk when he was ready and partly because just that slight touch from him was driving her up the wall and she kind of loved it.

Kensi cleared her throat and changed the subject herself, hoping he wouldn't notice how flushed she was becoming. "Ahem. I think I need to apologize. For treating you like my punching bag today. I've been a little...frustrated, but that's not really your fault." That was a lie. It was his fault. She was just too much of a chickenshit to tell him the truth and possibly face the same rejection she received from him the night he returned her knife.

"Okay," Deeks said slowly. "Um. Apology accepted then."

"Good."

"Good."

The silence that followed was awkward and seemed to last for ages. It was as if they both had so much to say but neither had the balls to say it. Kensi contemplated pouncing on him and ripping his clothes off, because damn he was irresistible and so close and still touching her. For once she practiced self-control and stayed frozen in place, though it was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I should probably get going," Deeks broke the silence but failed to move.

Kensi's heart sank. The flutters were gone. "Sure. Okay. It's late anyway, and it's been a long day."

"So I was thinking," Deeks continued, much to Kensi's confusion. "We're both due a vacation soon. I know I have more hours than I can possibly ever use. Sam and Callen will probably be forced to take leave for a couple of weeks, but after that...I mean, I didn't know if maybe you wanted to go somewhere, to get away from it all. Like Lake Tahoe. Or Wine Country. Some place where we could just relax and clear our heads of everything that's happened."

And as quickly as they'd disappeared, they were back again. Kensi smiled and tilted her head. "Just the two of us?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "If you want to."

She nodded with him. "I'd like that." In fact, she'd probably start packing as soon as he left.

"Great. That's great." Deeks removed his hand from her foot and stood up, leaving her feeling a little bit sad but even more excited. Standing up with him, she crossed her arms and followed him to the door. "You know everything's going to work itself out, right?"

A statement with multiple meanings from him again. Work. Hetty. Them, individually and together. He actually seemed optimistic for the first time in a while. "Right," she answered.

An amazing smile flashed across his face as he walked backwards out of her apartment. "G'night, Kensi."

His smile and optimism was contagious apparently. "Goodnight, Deeks," she returned softly, matching his grin.

As she closed the door behind him, Kensi banged her head three times on the wooden frame before dragging her feet back to the couch and plopping down with a thud. Her situation hadn't changed that dramatically from the beginning of her day. But life definitely looked like it was about to take a turn for the better.