~~~Tris~~~

It has been two days since initiation has ended. Parties are still going on everywhere in Dauntless. I have never seen anything like it. Abnegation washes each other's feet and feed the factionless. Dauntless drink themselves into oblivion and do dangerous stunts. I've never heard music like this before. I played piano for our services in Abnegation but never dreamed of music like this. I wouldn't dare tell anyone about my playing. Though I got through training and thought I proved myself not to be a 'stiff' I guess I still try to put up a wall for others. But not for Tobias. Our first night out of initiation I stayed with Tobias in his apartment. It was the first time we slept in the same bed. Feeling his body next to mine was unbelievable. His arms wrapped around me the entire night. Since our first kiss down by the Chasm something stirred in me. Selfish feelings and I wanted him. Of course I want to please him in every way I can and I hope I am able to, but my body aches for him. As soon as we walked into his apartment and he shut the door behind me I knew there was no going back. I couldn't run away like a little 'stiff' but part of me was terrified. As soon as he shut the door he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into him. I let out a gasp as soon as our bodies hit. In that moment I felt weak. My legs felt like liquid and I hung on to his strong arms for support. His kisses started out slow and deliberate. Almost teasing. I wanted more. So much more. But not too much. When my back hit the wall I felt like I was going to explode. Tobias started kissing me more passionately. Deepening his lust as the seconds ticked by. I know he had only kissed a couple girls with a peck during games of truth or dare so how did he know how to do this. It must be the same animalistic instinct that is now coursing through my veins. His hands start to lift the hem of my shirt. When he touches the skin of my waist it is like electricity. More so than the night at the Ferris Wheel when he caught me and stopped me from falling. I have to stop. I can't do this. Not yet. I place my hand to Tobias' face and run my thumb over his bottom lip. When he pulls back just an inch I can see the desire in his deep dark blue eyes. God, I want him so bad. I can't do this, I remind myself. His breath is ragged and heavy. With our foreheads together we breathe the same moist warm air. If he kisses me again I will lose all self-control. Every bit of Abnegation in me will die. "Tobias…" I breathlessly whispered. "I know." He said in a low voice.

That first night we settled in on the couch and watched old movies saved from the war. The next day after dinner was more of the same. More movies. More silent moments where we stared at the TV obviously not concentrating on the movie.

When I woke up this morning and realized it had been two days since initiation had ended and all of Dauntless was still in party mode I started wondering what it was like to party Dauntless style. Could I keep up? I wanted to find out. If I stay in this apartment with Tobias and those eyes I was going to lose control.

"What are we going to do tonight? I'm kinda sick of watching movies." I told Tobias.

"Well, we could always invite everyone over for Truth or Dare." Tobias looked at me with that devilish grin. I played Candor or Dauntless with Caleb before. That is what abnegation called truth or dare but I have a feeling Dauntless don't play the same.

"Did you play often, before I came here?" I asked Tobias. "I've been here two years, Tris, and my best friend is one of the biggest party animals in Dauntless. Yes. I've played a few times." Tobias grinned and gave a small shake of his head. I wonder what memory comes to mind when he thinks about playing truth or dare.

"I can't believe I never asked you this before, Tobias…" pausing to take a breath. I look up at him to see his brows closer together to form the question he wants to ask. "Have you ever been intimate with a girl?" When his face relaxes and that half smile comes to his face I fear the worst. I fear I'm not the first girl to lie in his bed. "Like you said, you have been here for two years." His lips part and pauses as he looks to the floor as if trying to break it to me easy. "Tris," he begins. His eyes meet mine, "Is that what you're afraid of? That I may be more experienced than you?" Well, now I feel stupid. Tobias kneels down in front of where I sit on the couch lifting my chin with one finger to look at him. "Tobias…I…" I can't find the words. "Tris, I have never had sex with anyone." I look back down and try to hide a smile. "But, have you done what we have done before…when we walked in the door two days ago?" My heart skips a beat. Thinking of Tobias wanting someone else so much that the 'Four' that is inside him comes out, it just squeezes my heart. "Tris, I have never wanted anyone more than I want you." My breath hitches at the sound of his voice. It is so seductive. He wants me! Does he know what he does to me? "Is that a yes or a no?" I try to prepare myself. "No," he says "Not like that." I should have known. I mean, he has needs, he is a guy. "Not like that? Then like what?" Tobias stands and turns away from me walking a couple steps before he turns to me. "Just a simple kiss. With a couple girls. It was during a game of Truth or Dare at Zeke's place. There was no meaning behind it. You were my first real kiss." My heart sinks in my chest with a flutter. A good sinking. "How can you be 18 and never had a real kiss?" I grin. "Tris, how can you be 16 and drive me crazy like you do?" I drive him crazy! I know what he means but should I toy with him? Of course! I stand and walk a few feet to the door trying so hard to be serious. "Well then, I'm sorry I drive you crazy. I know I can be hard to deal with sometimes but maybe your mental state could use a break." I turn to the door and walk a few more feet trying so hard and failing to suppress a smile. His hand grabs my wrist and spins me around. "Tris, I…" he tries to say before I cut him off with a laugh, "I knew exactly what you meant, Four." I am taken off guard when I hear that throaty groan come from him as he grabs me and hauls me to his room. My laugh stops and becomes a smile when he tosses me to the bed. Kissing my neck, his hands wander my skin under the hem of my t-shirt. Our bodies lace together. My legs wrapped around him. Right now he is 'Four'. The heart stopping, breath taking instructor that pulled me from the net. I care so deeply about Tobias but this man moaning into my ear…this is 'Four'. "Tobias…" I wisper. "Hmmm…" he moans. "If you don't stop making those noises…" I choke out the best I can. Tobias leans back onto his palms. His knees rest between mine. "Why Tris Prior, do I drive you crazy?" he says it that seductive tone. "You already know." I admit. He starts to lean back down to kiss me but I place my hand on his chest. One more moan, one more kiss, and I am going to lose control. I have never had these feelings before. How are there Abnegation children?! I want him so much in that way. It's the most selfish thing I have ever wanted. I do want to please him, I do, but I want him to please me! "We have a party to prepare for." I try to convince myself that the party matters right now. Standing at the foot of the bed with our arms wrapped around each other he moans in my ear. "Tobias!" I say smacking his chest. He grabs his chest as if I really hurt him and falls backward onto the bed. "Oh, Tris!" He moans and laughs. I have to get out of this room!