Disclaimer—I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of its characters. Nor do I make any moneys from the posting of this fanfiction.

This is completely and utterly alternative universe. Some may even think it dark. So I must warn you now to turn back if something out of The Twilight Zone meets The Big Bang Theory isn't your thing. You've been warned.

Okay, I just got a review. They didn't like it. And that's okay. It's a part of life. But one thing-if you're going to hate it, hate it for the right reasons. This isn't a SHENNY. It just isn't. Penny and Sheldon are in the story too, but they're not a couple nor do they end up together. Reread it nameless guest who didn't have the balls to leave your name. Go on. I dare you. Oh, by the way, I'm all for freedom of speech, but you best be ready to get it back in spades. Just saying. Thank you and please enjoy.

…

Denial

Leonard woke up slowly, the world around him still dark and noiseless as he did so. There were some noises that he didn't know what they were. The buzzing was bothering his ears, but when he tried to rub them he couldn't.

His arms were tied down?

He tugged at them again.

His arms were tied down!

Okay, calm down, he told himself. There's a logical explanation for everything! But damn don't you know he couldn't think of a single one.

"01001100 01100101 01101111 01101110 01100001 01110010 01100100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110111 01100001 01101011 01100101."

Binary? And was that Penny? Since had she known binary? She barely comprehended English some days. He did the work translating the zeros and ones, coming up with, "Leonard is awake."

He heard a sigh. "Yes, I know. I heard him as well."

Sheldon! He should have known! He tried to open his mouth, but there was something keeping him from doing so. It was as if his jaw was locked shut.

"I don't want to deal with him until I have this fixed which will be right about…now! Test."

A rapid recitation of the alphabet followed by Isaac Asimov's three laws as stated in I, Robot. When she was done, she must have been miffed, "Why you couldn't just have me saying 'The quick red fox jumped over the lazy brown dogs' is beyond me. It accomplishes what you want with half the work."

"Come now, Penelope. That's laziness on your part."

"No, it's called working smarter, not harder."

Sheldon made a noise in the back of his throat. "I don't know who you've been spending time with lately, but I find this lackadaisical attitude quite irritating."

She sighed. "Sorry, Sheldon. It just seems that the testing as you have it has a redundancy."

"It's a necessary evil, as well you know."

"Yes, Sheldon." There was a pause. "Do I have to keep dating Leonard?" Shock rippled through Leonard as he listened more closely now. "He's so emotionally needy, Sheldon! If that wasn't bad enough, he plays with my boobs like they were squeeze toys. You'd think that they had one of those things that would make them squeak every time he groped them."

"Please!" Sheldon snapped. "I don't need details!"

"Then imagine how I feel!" she snapped, but this was followed by a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, Moonpie. It's just that it feels like you give him more freedoms than you do me. Not only that, but also more intelligence as well! Given all the new studies out there, women are far more intellectual than you give them credit for."

"Yes, I understand that many women have higher I.Q.s than I allow you to express. But as well you know that wasn't the point of the study." There was a pause followed by, "And don't call me Moonpie. Only my Meemaw calls me that, Penelope." There was another pause followed by, "Don't you roll your eyes at me."

"Why not?" she asked him. "It's one of the few things I'm currently allowed to do."

"You're allowed, but like many an act you're allowed to perform doesn't mean that I won't complain about it," he muttered. "I expect you to conduct yourself like a lady."

"How would you know how a lady conduct themselves?" There was a tense silence. "Trust me, I've met more ladies recently than you have and they most certainly roll their eyes. You just never catch them at it."

Leonard was about to try protesting when the blindfold that had been covering his eyes was removed. He blinked rapidly until he realized that he couldn't see at all that well.

"I need my glasses!" he demanded in a whine.

"Really, Leonard, must you carry on so?" Sheldon asked him, even as he handed over his glasses.

"What is going on here?" he asked, looking around. "Since when has Penny known binary?"

Penny who was sitting across from him, rolled her eyes and muttered, "It happens every time. For once I wish you just let him remember and then I wouldn't have to listen to it all over again."

"Listen to what?" Leonard demanded. "What is going on?!"

This time it was Sheldon that rolled his eyes in irritation. "Really, Leonard, must you whine so? This is the weekly Wednesday evaluation."

He took a calming breath and asked, "Of what exactly?"

Sheldon looked over to Penny, who just looked at him flatly. "Right." He looked over to Leonard and said in a matter of fact manner, "Of you and Penny. Leonard, you are a robot."

"A what? No, I am not!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, you are," Penny shot back. "I, on the other hand, am a cybernetic unit."

"No," Leonard said, his voice low and disbelieving. "No!"

"I'm partially human," Penny went on with her explanation. "Sheldon, he's doing that thing again with his eyes."

"What thing?" He looked over to Leonard. "I still don't comprehend what you're saying."

"He's looking at you as if your mother hasn't had you tested," she told him. "Or if she did, you flunked it."

"Oh, that look!" He glanced over to Penny, as he went over to his laptop. "I receive that one so often that I really don't recognize it for what it is anymore."

"Makes sense," she muttered, picking up a book and began flipping through it. "When are we going to be done with this? I want to kick some butt at Halo tonight."

"How can you two be so casual about this? I can't be a robot! I have a mother!"

"Yes, Beverly was so lovely to volunteer for the post, but alas she didn't give birth to you," Sheldon told him. "And we can be as you put it 'casual' about this because we do this every week, Leonard."

"I can't be a robot!"

"Yes you can and you are," Penny replied sounding bored. "And people think I'm dimwitted."

"Then explain my career!"

"If we could do that, we'd be rich beyond measure," muttered Penny, who gained a wry chuckle from Sheldon. "For heaven sake, Sheldon, make him quiet or at least not repeat this same protesting every single week!"

Letting out a tired sounding sigh, he went over to Leonard and murmured, "Time for a nap, Leonard."

"But I don't…" And everything went pitch black.

…

Leonard woke up with a startled yelp, panting heavily as he thought over the dream he just had. It was so real. So very real, but completely out of the realm of reality that he could only laugh about it. That is if it hadn't horrified him so much.

"Leonard! Raj and Howard are here with the food!" Penny called out.

He went out of his room and joined them over in the sitting room. He looked over to where Penny was sitting next to Sheldon already nibbling on her food. Sheldon was at his spot right next to her. And off to one side were Raj and Howard, motionless as they stood in their charging bays. Yeah, they were the only robots there, he assured himself. They were. Not him.

The End

…

There you go. I have little notion where this came from. I grew up watching The Twilight Zone where nothing was as it appeared to be. What can I say? I was feeling nostalgic. Have a fab day everyone.