Link to previous story: (fanfictionnet)/s/10047061/1/Sheer-Borderline

And a little bit of warning for the beginning... This is not exactly innocent. I just ditched any attempts to make a censored version. So here you go. Don't say I didn't tell you! ;) And the story is definitely NOT just about this.

There's less of an adventure in this story. Instead, it focuses more on relationships. I hope you enjoy reading it anyway :)

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Sulu and Chekov were kneeling at a bed. Naked, they were pressing their hot bodies together, breathlessly exchanging passionate kisses. They held each other tightly. Sulu sunk his fingers into Chekov's hair, gripping them tight and with the other hand brushed his lover's back before settling at a hip to steady Chekov as they moved against each other, creating a tantalizing friction. Chekov moaned and tilted his head backwards as Sulu's kiss demanded a deeper access and Sulu kissed him thoroughly before parting. Both panted, inhaling each other's hot breath that was rushing against the skin of flushed cheeks and necks. Their narrowed eyes met in an affectionate look.

"Love you." Sulu breathed out, once again taken aback with a power of emotion he felt towards this boy.

"Lowe yu too… Oh, mmh." Chekov's words turned into moans as Sulu bent down to kiss him on a neck.

After a while of teasing, when Chekov groaned and gasped, clutching Sulu desperately, Sulu pulled away. He waited for Chekov's chest to stop heaving before he bent lower to lick and lightly bite at Chekov's nipples. Chekov jerked away at the sensation and looked down on Sulu with pleading eyes. Ignoring it, Sulu sat back and pulled Chekov closer, his arms locking around Chekov's pelvis before he continued with what he was doing previously. When a tip of his tongue brushed against the flesh, Chekov gave him a loud moan, wriggling and bucking slightly and Sulu felt Chekov's hard prove of interest to bounce against his belly. Sulu huffed in amusement at where he was able get Chekov without even really touching him anywhere lower. This huff resulted into Chekov clenching his fingers again, digging his nails into delicate skin on Sulu's shoulders and shuddering at sensation off a hot breath on his sensitized nipple. Sulu leaned back to continue.

"Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov to the bridge. Kirk out." An announcement from ship intercom intruded.

"Shit!" Sulu stopped, whining. "Not this again." He took a deep breath before he pulled away with annoyance. He stood up and frowned. Then he turned and reached for a crumpled uniform that was hanging over a nearby chair. Sulu looked at Chekov, who still haven't moved, unhappy expression on his face completed with general image of being lost.

'Oh, my. He's totally useless like this.' Sulu sighed, a fondness sprouting in his heart. "Finish you off first?" he whispered.

"Pleaz." Chekov mumbled, profusely blushing with embarrassment.

'As if it wasn't me, who first asked the same thing of him few months ago.' Sulu chuckled, when he recalled a similar situation. That time Chekov was called off to engine room with Sulu just on the verge of orgasm. Sulu still couldn't believe he did ask for something like that – something in direct contradiction with an order. And though Chekov gave him a surprised look, he stayed. So, unless there is a red alert, Sulu is not going to leave his lover like that, certainly not when he needs to get to a bridge in usable form right now.

Sulu teased Chekov with a provocative smirk and raised eyebrow. Then his smug expression turned into a compassionate smile, gaze tinged with a lust that hasn't quite left him yet. Sulu dropped the clothes and leaned close, pushing Chekov to lie down on a back. He kissed his way down Chekov's body, shifting from lips to neck, to nipple, belly and traded him one more gentle kiss before taking him in mouth and giving him his attention without any reservation he usually kept to prevent Chekov from coming too fast. Chekov cried out at the intense stimulation, one hand clutching a pillow, the other Sulu's shoulder almost painfully. He gave up trying to resolve weather his grip was painful for Sulu a long time ago. He knew Sulu didn't mind and quite enjoyed that actually.

Sulu knew exactly what to do and where to touch and press and he used his knowledge with all efficacy. It took only few moments before Chekov arched with a shout. And though it was short, it was so intense, that it blacked Chekov out for a second or two. Shivering, he felt Sulu's soothing touch at his side, Sulu's hand running from ribs over his hip to a thigh and back as he watched Chekov contently.

Then Sulu pulled away and offered squinting Chekov a hand. When Chekov hesitantly took it, Sulu pulled him up to sit with a strong tug. Still sitting, Sulu stretched back to get uniform and stuck Chekov his.

"Here you go." He stood up.

It took a moment for Chekov to focus. When he managed to do so, he checked his body if it is actually in a state he could put any clothes on. He found out that except being a bit wet and sweaty he was clean, which meant Sulu must have– A shock cut through him like a razor.

"Hurry up! We can't be too late." Sulu aborted a flow of Chekov's thoughts as he turned to him, already pulling his pants on.

xxx

It wasn't perfect. The start of this relationship was actually pretty rough. However, Chekov never wanted anything more. At times, there were random flips between them being best friends, passionate lovers and complete strangers. It wasn't always easy to handle, especially taking in that nobody knew about them as they were careful to not give it away. Fortunately, after first few weeks it settled down. Their mutual trust that got hit by new conditions grew stronger with every day and eventually, Sulu has fully admitted the true nature of their relationship to himself.

All along, Chekov felt blessed. This relationship with Sulu was something Chekov didn't even dared to hope for. Never mind the imperfection, he still couldn't quite believe it, it was such a big load of happiness that it was crushing his cheeky self-consciousness. And Sulu… Chekov liked to think there was something more in it than usual mutual deal kind of relationship even for Sulu. Tough lately, something must have gone terribly wrong…

xxx

The landing party just returned and Chekov wasn't sure if he's relieved or just furious as he paced towards transporter room's door and thought about Sulu risking his life recklessly again. What was it last time? Ah, Sulu got almost eaten by that gorn. And before? They got charged and bailed and then got nearly killed during uprising on Kaidos V. And – yes – Ergon… That was even worse. Sometimes, missions went according to plan, but sometimes they did not and this was one of the second cases. Things went just wrong and if it wasn't for commander Spock and great load of luck, the landing party, including Kirk and Sulu, would never make it.

Chekov was just behind a corner and tried to slower his breath and calm down before he'll get to see Sulu and hear another apologetic 'I didn't meant to'.

Most of the group already left the room, when Chekov heard Spock's voice through the opened door.

"Mr. Sulu."

"Yes, sir?" Sulu's voice replied promptly.

Chekov halted at the entrance. Sulu was turned with a back to him and first commander kept his focus on a pilot.

"Report on a bridge within an hour. There are details of mission that needs to be cleared. And…" commander Spock made a pause as he just decided he should add something more. "Congratulations on your latest results. Admiral Barnett seemed to be impressed. It would not be precocious to assume you are on a good way to get assigned to a position of captain on your own ship."

"Thank you, sir."

Chekov's heart stopped. His brain was still struggling to accept the facts.

Sulu turned and saw him, suddenly awkward situation displayed on his face. "Chekov." He croaked.

Chekov's eyes were wide and a breath, that made a hitch just a moment before, skipped to frenzy hyperventilation. This couldn't be true. Chekov refused to believe it. All this time… all this freaking time he was frightened, scared that he did something wrong! He staggered from apprehension that Sulu had an affair to a dismay of his lover being just fed up with him. Why the hell Sulu haven't told him?

Chekov was confused, the pain of realization too strong to trust his ability to not make a scene in front of their superior officer, if he got to speak. On his shaking knees he stumbled out of the room.

"Chekov!" he heard Sulu's mildly exasperated voice behind him before he reached a turbolift taking him anywhere but there.

Sulu looked up at Spock indecisively.

Commander's face stayed blank. "I will be awaiting you at a bridge." With that simple sentence Vulcan also strode out of the room, leaving him alone.

When Sulu finally came to his senses and stepped into corridor to chase after Chekov, the navigator was already gone.

xxx

Sulu aimed to Chekov's quarters, decided to settle this as soon as possible. To his confusion, he didn't find the navigator there. So he didn't waste his time and went right to engine room, which was basically Chekov's safe place, but Chekov wasn't there either. Damn it, he didn't have time to search all decks! After an annoyed moment of hesitation, he went ahead to his own quarters.

When door of Sulu's quarters opened, he found Chekov sat slouching on his bed. When the younger man looked up, his expression was wounded.

"Yu want to be a keptin, to get yorr own ship." He stated.

"Yes." Sulu started to get what's on Chekov's mind.

"Damn yu! Yu'rre such a jerrk!" Chekov went mad screaming at Sulu, the frustration that coiled in him until now finally breaking loose.

Sulu was startled at a sudden burst out, but then he just sighed. "Alright. What is it?" he gave in.

"What iz it?" Chekov repeated with disbelief. He was merely ever angry, but if he was, then – according to his face – it was now. "Yu know what it iz!" he flared up. And he was right, now Sulu was pretty sure what this was about. Sulu barely resisted rolling his eyes.

"When did yu plen to tell me?" Chekov gave him an accusative glare.

"Look. I know I should have told you before." Sulu started to defend himself defiantly with a little of apology sounding in his voice.

"Yu do? So, why yu hawen't told me zen?" A righteous anger started to build up in Chekov's chest.

Sulu declined from listing any untruth reasons, but he was also not willing to admit the truth – that he was just nervous and afraid of how will this conversation go down. Well, the fact he postponed it didn't make it any better, though.

"I didn't meant to upset you." He said after a moment of consideration.

"Well, yu did." Chekov slapped back.

Now it was Sulu's turn to get annoyed. His blood pressure rose and breath quickened, but he still managed to contain his exasperation inside.

He sighed again. "I am sorry, really. Alright?" He asked hopefully, reaching to Chekov to take his hand.

"No." Chekov snatched his hand out of Sulu's grip. He diverted his eyes and fell silent.

"If yu go… Zen, what about uz? What about me?" Chekov started over again.

Sulu felt bad for making Chekov ask like this, but he was also very disappointed. He hoped that Chekov will be the one cheering for him and supporting him. Also he didn't thought Chekov would doubt their relationship so easily. This hurt.

"You can ask for a transfer then." Sulu said measuredly.

"But wee belong to Enterrprize!" Chekov countered.

"We may belong to the other ship, too. The same way we do here." Sulu didn't gave up. But he could see in a firm set of Chekov's jaw that Chekov did not understand and did not agree.

"How can yu ewen think of zat, afterr all wee went thru togezerr?" This wasn't any wimping. Chekov voice changed and his face turned solemn, one of an adult man and when he was speaking, he was absolutely serious, trying to make Sulu comprehend an absurdity of a string of such thoughts.

"Exactly. What we went through is what made me realize I don't want to stay aside." Sulu followed. "When I threatened Khan with torpedoes… That made me see. There are so many things to do, to be changed. So many really important things." He tried to explain.

"Yu ARR parrt of zem alrredy." Chekov insisted.

"You know what I mean." Sulu replied, undisturbed by Chekov's attempt.

Chekov made a face and his breath calmed down. "Alrright, wee should not solwe zis durring ze mission, letz talk on ourr shorr leawe." He decided reasonably, with last bits of coherent thoughts.

Sulu cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with what he was about to say next.

"Well, sorry. I'll be on training. But if the shore leave will be longer, I might have some time after I finish."

Chekov blinked in disbelief. "But wee planned to go on a trrip!" He stood up to face Sulu.

"Yeah, I know. I really tried to reschedule it, but all the other dates were full." Sulu brows met in apologetic expression.

"But yu hawe promised…" Suddenly, Chekov's voice lost its power.

"I have to attend to that training." Sulu pointed out.

"Cancel it." Chekov asked coldly.

"No. I can't. I won't." Sulu didn't hesitate, not even for a moment. "How can you even ask this? Have you ever had a dream?" Sulu started to be seriously pissed.

"Of courrz I hawe!" Chekov screamed back, severely offended.

"Then you should understand." A lofty reply came.

"No, yu don't underrstend!" Chekov was getting in a rage.

"Oh, really?" Sulu asked viciously.

"Yu'rre so full of yorrselwe!"

"You can't be meaning that."

A fully arrogant Sulu got on Chekov's nerves like nothing else.

"Well, I ken." He retorted smugly.

Few minutes of silence followed.

Few minutes, in which the high levels of adrenalin slowly drained, leaving an empty feeling instead.

"I ken't…" Chekov voice broke in. "I ken't do zis anymorr." He sounded tiredly. He slumped back to a bed and buried his face into his hands. Then he lifted his head a bit again, his hands cupped over his mouth, as he propped his chin into palms, his eyes gleaming, breath catching in a throat.

After another moment of silence, he dropped his hands and looked at a floor.

"Letz end it."

Sulu looked at him, startled. Then, he looked at his own hands in incomprehension, as if something really precious just scattered in them and now was falling down through his fingers, and he was unable to stop it.

"Chekov?" he asked in a weak, but somehow reconciled voice, his chest tight with a dying hope, because Chekov never said something that he didn't meant.

"What?"

"It's just… " Sulu paused, before saying what he really meant, what he wanted Chekov to know. "I love you."

"I know. But sometimez zat not enough."

With those words Chekov left.

Sulu stood at a place, unable to move, not even a finger, as he suddenly run out of all his willpower. After some time, he gathered enough of self-preservation sense to break through the lethargic state to gather his belongings and get to a bridge.

xxx

Chekov slumped down to a chair in his quarters. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest was heaving with badly suppressed emotions. He was so exhausted by all this. The calm resolution he felt when asking Sulu to break up was long since gone.

Damn it. He was worried all the time – scared if Sulu will survive another mission, being afraid that Sulu will just dump him and leave him alone… The countless times he wondered why Sulu is no more spending that much time with him. His head was hurting and so were his eyes. When he rubbed them to elevate the sore, a wet smear appeared to cover his hand. There was a surprised hitch in his breath when he found out. He wiped the tears of, but he couldn't stop another from filling his eyes instead.

xxx

Next day on a bridge, Sulu got occupied enough with his work to forget about everything for a while. But when he laughed and turned to Chekov to share a source of his amusement, his smile died on his lips, taking in the serious and distant expression on navigator's face. Then it struck him. He not only lost a lover, but also his best friend along with great companion, who has been, by chance, his closest coworker at the same time. And suddenly, he felt so lonely.

xxx

But then, days went by. World won't break because of things didn't work out for two unimportant figures… It was almost as if nothing happened, which made it even more unbearable. And nobody knew. – This was what went through Chekov's head when he has been careful to not let his emotions drift to a surface. The last thing he wished for were stupid questions from colleagues that might have been meant well, but for which he didn't have any suitable answer. And also, he definitely didn't want Sulu to come, begging him and trying to convince him that things between them were not so bad as it seemed. Because they were.

Nevertheless, that didn't meant it made Chekov's internal struggle any easier. He was afraid that, if confronted, he might succumb rather easily, as for what he wasn't proud. However, of one thing he was sure – he didn't want to fall in that whirl of insecurities again. So he made sure to not show any weakness that would indicate his instability, his inclination to change his mind, and encourage his ex-boyfriend to an action.

He found pretending that nothing happened very tiring, though. After few days it was harder and harder to keep his act together. Especially, when Chekov knew that he couldn't drop it for a second. His coworkers knew him too well and would notice that something was odd right away. And that was just a step to uncomfortable questions and prompting Sulu to do something about it.

But even worse part was yet to come. Chekov's body was used to have Sulu around all the time. First few days the shock was too great for a physical part of missing a lover to be manifested. But then, his body started to claim its own demands. And that's where it turned to be a complete hell.

Still on the act, Chekov couldn't spend all his time in his own quarters either – not without drawing unwanted attention and stirring suspicion. Having no place to hide, to let go, Chekov found himself strayed at sickbay half-intentionally due to lack of any better place to go to.

Doctor McCoy accepted Chekov's presence with kind-hearted care of physician, his true core that – otherwise well hidden under his rough approach – took a form of soft grousing without any real attempt to get ensign out of the place.

"D'you had a fight with Sulu?" McCoy prodded mildly.

Chekov hunched. Sitting at the edge of examination bed, his back bent and head dropped between shoulders.

"Yez." He replied lowly.

His frame tensed and there was a defiant look in his eyes, when he straightened and lifted them to a doctor.

"He alwayz takez me az a kid!" He accused.

"Well, that's nothin' to be upset about, kiddo." The older man snorted.

Chekov gave him a glare, but he knew that McCoy hasn't meant it wrong. So after a while he slid back into sulking, his eyes darted to a floor beneath his feet.

"But he'z only forr' yeerz olderr zan me." Chekov muttered indignantly. Bitterness wrapped up his voice.

McCoy huffed out a laugh, amused by Chekov's obstinacy.

"That's not why you're here." Doctor stated, glancing up from his work.

When nothing than silence answered him, he settled his look at a young intruder fully.

"Anyway, how long do you plan to hide here and distract me from work, hm?" He grumbled with hostility.

Silent weeping came in response.

"I am afrraed I might hawe rreely screw it up zis time."A shaky sob from the examination bed reached McCoy's ears. A young man gripped its edge, trying to will down shivers that took over his body at hardly suppressed cry.

"You should stay here and take a rest." McCoy groaned quietly and made a face as if he wasn't happy at all to say: "I'll say you got flu." And with one more worried look at his new patient he walked around his table to hand him a blanket. Then he went out of his office to talk to his nurses, telling them they should not disturb the newcomer and redirect all questions about his presence to CMO himself.

Chekov accepted the offer with alleviating gratitude, wrapping the piece of cloth around his shoulders before he slumped fully to one of the biobeds in deserted corner of sickbay.

xxx

Few days later, he walked up on Sulu in a mess hall. They literally bumped into each other before they turned and realized each other's presence.

Under impression of sudden proximity – something they longed for more than they were aware of – Sulu squeezed Chekov's arm. Chekov froze. No. Not again. He tried to pull off a hand that was holding him, but with no success.

"Chekov. Stop this act already." Sulu pleaded.

"Yu kept yorrz for months." Chekov deadpanned. "Now let go of me."

"Love," Sulu whispered so that only Chekov could hear it and raised his hand to place it on Chekov's cheek in very intimate gesture. "You miss me. Just admit it."

That's it. Just like that he comes and thinks everything is alright, because all Chekov wants is to be in center of his priceless attention. Bastard. That's not going to work on him. .Way!

With fast resolution Chekov swept off Sulu's hand with exaggerated force as if Sulu' palm could burn him.

"So now I can't even touch you? It's like yesterday you were all touchy-feely." Sulu spat out mockingly.

All the color drained off from Chekov's face. And before it fully connected to his brain, a metal and plastic rumble soared from floor as a meal tray Chekov was holding just a moment before found a solid surface between their feet. In the next split of second all his body swung in half-spin and his fist crushed into pilot's jaw.

The loud clang of tray and cutlery hitting the floor made everybody in the mess hall turn in their direction just in time to witness a powerful strike Sulu got from his always cheerful mate. Only silence followed as Chekov came down from his fury and Sulu's fingers cautiously examined the spot of impact. The sight was so unexpected and so untypical it was frightening and nobody dared to say a thing.

xxx

Sulu was still in a shock, even few hours after the incident. He never expected Chekov would be capable of something like that. He wasn't really angry, though. He got the feeling – realization, enlightenment – that any tries to fix up the broken relationship had no meaning anymore. Chekov already decided and there's nothing he could do to change his mind. Maybe it was better, less painful than slow cutting off. He still missed him, but that will fade away. Chekov wasn't all his life after all. But the damn narrow bunk bed felt so spacious, when he lay there alone.

It didn't took long at all for gossips to spread throughout the ship. Before they left for a shore leave the very next day, there was probably nobody that haven't heard of the fight in the mess hall yet. Chekov felt ashamed and Sulu hated the stares. Especially, since the proof of it not being just a rumor was still painfully marking his face. It was first time in their carrier on Enterprise they were perceived separately by the rest of the crew.

Except for Kirk. Sulu and Chekov were standing next to each other, as far from each other as they could without seeming to break a parade line and choosing the opposite side of captain quarters instead.

Captain walked to and fro for a while before he finally stopped with a questioning look aimed on officers he summoned.

"What happened?" Kirk raised his eyebrow, hands clasped behind his back in posture similar to one so typical for a first commander, save for excessive rigidity.

Questioned officers repaid captain's stare without a word.

"Sulu?" captain took two steps towards a pilot, looking him in the eye.

Sulu clenched his jaw and stayed silent. He expected Kirk to resort to giving them an order, when he didn't do any better with Chekov. In that case, they will have to talk. However, that never happened.

"Fine. I'll talk to you separately." Captain settled upon instead. "Mr. Sulu wait for us outside, please."

Sulu clicked his heels in Attention, indicating he's off to the order, and he cleared out the room.

It could have taken barely two minutes before Chekov walked passed him, never turning his eyes in Sulu's direction, but it seemed like hours of waiting.

"Sulu?" Captain awaited him at the door. "Come in."

Sulu obeyed.

Kirk walked up to his table, taping his fingers at its edge, his back still to Sulu when he spoke.

"What the hell have you done to him?" Kirk accused exasperatedly and turned to look at Sulu, worry clearly visible in his face features.

"What–" Sulu started but then cut himself of. Nevertheless, it was way too easy for captain to complete the rest of unspoken question with 'has he told you?'.

"Nothing." Kirk answered provocatively, his voice hard with well-managed anger. "Even though this is off record and I won't force charges against you." There was a short pause.

"But I don't need to know. I'm sure there has to be a good reason for Chekov to try to inflict a harm on officer of a higher rank and I am positive he actually protects you by not telling me." Kirk stared Sulu down. "What I need is for you to go and apologize for whatever was your part of blame."

Sulu's posture and expression grew cold. Kirk studied it with undeniable exasperation. After a moment, though, he deflated and his face turned to caring and a bit sad.

"Look." He said in quiet compassionate tone. "As your friend, I tell you this." Sulu watched him solemnly, contemplating what it might be that Jim Kirk has to tell him on personal level.

"Whatever happened, you better try to solve it. It's friends who make universe less cold and hostile, not stars. And it's much easier to find a star that would nourish your world with just right amount of everything you need than a friend who would do the same."

Sulu didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to say anything, because first officer chose that moment to walk in and interrupt their conversation.

"My apologies, captain. I was not aware you have a meeting with Mr. Sulu. I shall return later." Spock halted at a threshold of captain's office at the sight.

Kirk's eyes shot to him, breaking from hypnotizing Sulu, and he smiled warmly, protectively at his first officer.

"No, we're done. Mr. Sulu has things to do, so I should not hold him back any longer." He met Sulu's eyes with a meaningful look.

xxx

Sulu knew logically, that captain was right, however, he hasn't seen a whole picture. And Sulu had his pride. He would apologize for what had he done or said in the mess, but not unless Chekov apologized for belittling Sulu's desires and dreams. His memories went astray to a moment when Spock superseded him at Kirk's office. The faces of both Spock and Kirk emerged in his mind with all the emotions they inflicted in the pilot at the moment he saw them. He could recognize the loyalty, trust and mutual affection seeping from both men, the truest friends he had ever seen. What he had had with Chekov wasn't that far from what they had. A memory of his friend, smiling with eyes full of unconditional trust, flickered behind Sulu's closed eyes. A sudden scorching pain made him blink. It really hurt. Sulu didn't expect somebody else's happiness affect him so much. He didn't expect an incoming tide of regret mixed with a feeling of loss. As fatuous as Sulu might have been in this matter, he wasn't too foolish to know that he will be reminded of what he could have had every time he sees an interaction between captain and first officer.