To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hey everyone. I can't apologise enough for the massive delay with this chapter. It has been ready for almost two months but needed a few touches and unfortunately, I had a nasty injury recently that has limited my ability to be productive, as well as a few other unexpected/ controllable delays.

This chapter is a bit shorter than I would have liked but it essentially ends the current story line to set up the final arc.

Also as an apology I will upload an alternate start that I was considering during the writer's block I had for this chapter. Much like Devilukian Edition, this would be a different story, but would otherwise follow a similar plot, only was more planned out than both this and Devilukian Edition. I am not planning on continuing this new alternate version, at least not until the main story is finished.

This will also be the last time I update TLR for the foreseeable future, as I heavily neglected Fatebreaker, which I have a good idea how it is going to work going forwards, at least until Fatebreaker is at the end of the parts I had planned out (Possibly after the Raiser fight or the first 'original' arc before that.)

Anyway, once again I massively apologise for the delay and hope that in the future I can get back to the part where my updates were a matter of days or weeks at the most, rather than well in excess of a few months.

The story so far…

Naruto found himself flung back in time after an accident involving his twin daughters and Saki. While he tries to make his way back to the present, Lala decided to do a bit of spring cleaning in her D-Dial resulting in Yui and Risa being transformed into 'Alter' versions of themselves. Alter Yui then took it on herself to try and steal the time machine to change the past. Back in the past Naruto met a young Sephie and helped defeat Gid's sister, who was controlled by Prime Asmodea, the 'pure' form of Naruto's own resident Damus, before being flung back towards the future by a self-proclaimed Damus of Misery, where he met his future children (or at least some of them) and before getting sent back in time by his eldest daughters, who were pretty sure they were sending him to the right time period, give or take a few years.

So you know, just the usual stuff.

Chapter 37: Back to Normal... Sorta

"We both knew it would end this way," Alter Yui smirked victoriously. She stood tall, despite the damage to her delinquent outfit that would have had normal Yui squealing 'Shameless!'

"I do so enjoy seeing someone get so thoroughly… dominated," Yami licked her lips. She was currently in her adult form, her outfit reworked in such a way that everything that needed to be covered was… but very almost wasn't.

"I haven't lost yet!" Lala declared as she struggled to her feet. "I never expected you to be so strong… Truly your love for Naruto is almost a match for mine!"

"Love has nothing to do with any of this," Rito deadpanned. Still stuck in the female body with extra dog appendages, Rito had long since lost interest in this whole ordeal.

It had started when, for reasons that eluded Rito, Lala decided they would enter her D-Dial to organise it, as well as seal away the time machine so they wouldn't lose it before they needed it to bring Naruto back in the future. Lala's initial calculations suggested it would take around 20 years for them to be able to find Naruto, so this way when they found him in the future, they would know exactly where the time machine was and could bring him back to the present.

While hiding away the time machine, they had stumbled across Alter Alter-kun, a strange rifle that turned whatever it hit into an 'Alter' version of themselves. Case in point 'Delinquent Yui' and 'Nun Risa' (who was trying to start an online petition to ban exposed ankles and wrists from films for being too lewd). Unfortunately, Yui had fled before she could be returned to normal (and Lala had no interest in turning Risa back now), so Lala had led the charge to capture and return Yui to normal.

However Alter Yui had decided she would use the time machine to go back and prevent Naruto from 'making the worst mistake of his life' and had fought back against Lala, managing to acquire Alter Alter-kun and using it on Kushina (making her tired and mopey so she went to bed) as well as Yami (who went into Darkness mode without activating the core within her) who then turned to her side. Losing the most effective combat unit she had, baring herself, Lala decided to make a deal with Alter Yui.

The two of them would duel and if Lala lost, she would hand over the time machine and accept that Yui's love was stronger, but if Yui lost, she would surrender and be turned back into normal Yui.

However, unable to risk hurting Yui, Lala had suggested a different kind of the duel to the one Rito was expecting.

"Come on then," Yui mocked. "Draw your last pathetic card and accept your defeat!"

"There are no pathetic cards in my deck!" Lala declared proudly. "Each card was picked not for some trivial reason such as the current meta… but also because they are cute and lovely, like me and cannot be defeated in battles of love… just like me!"

"That's not how this works at all," Rito groaned, tired of being the straight man, well wolf-woman thing, of this scene. "I don't even understand this card game, but I know enough to know things are going poorly for you."

"Heh," Lala chuckled as she pointed at Yui. "True… I may only have 100 LP remaining and you still have 8000. True, you may have five monsters face up who all have an attack greater than 2800 and a full set of traps and spells, while I only have one face down monster and spell card… But I will put my heart and soul into the next draw and seal my victory!"

"I'd like to see you pull off that miracle," Yui declared.

"Then open your eyes!" Lala drew her next card and her eyes widened. "I see… As I expected!"

"Oh?" Yui frowned slightly.

"That's right… This card… This card will change the flow of this duel!" The genius princess declared proudly. "I knew my love would see me to victory!"

"You're bluffing," Yui narrowed her eyes uncertainly. "I hold the field and you are barely hanging on. Victory will be mine the next turn!"

"Heh," Lala looked at the four cards in her hand. 'Let's see… I have a Watapon, a Fluffal cat, a Poki dragon and a graceful dice spell card. Face down I have a Madolche Cruffssant and a Mirror Force trap card, but I know for a fact she has a Dark Bribe card so I can't use that to stop her… Wait… Am I going to lose?! I'm the main heroine! I can't lose!'

"Well then… Play your last card and submit! I'm not entirely cruel. I'll be sure to make videos of Naruto and I for you to watch in the new timeline I will create!" Alter Yui smirked.

"You may say that…" Lala chuckled. "But there is one thing you are forgetting…"

"Oh?"

"We never set a time limit for each turn of the duel."

"And?"

Lala pointed victoriously at Yui, "You are only human so if I wait long enough, you will lose by forfeit since I, as a devilukian, have a much longer lifespan!"

"Are you planning to just wait for her to die of old age?!" Rito cried out in alarm.

"Tch… I never thought of such a strategy… There must be some counter…" Yui mumbled.

"Don't respond as if it is a good idea!" Rito bemoaned.

"You're really embracing the role of the tsukkomi," Mikan remarked.

"Thanks," Rito smiled, "Wait… why am I glad about that?!"

"Hehehehe…" Yui chuckled darkly.

"What is it?" Lala frowned. "It's my turn so you can't do anything to derail my grand victory plan!"

"I don't think any of those words can apply to your… scheme," Rito slumped while Mikan patted him on the back reassuringly.

"Just thinking, all things considered, this is a duel to see which one of us will marry Naruto, yes?"

"Who will marry him first," Lala corrected. "You are free to love him, but I am to be the first bride."

"Well technically third," Yui remarked.

"T-Third?!" Lala staggered backwards, "What do you mean?!"

"Well you see there was a funny story," Yui grinned, "I only found out myself recently, and was wondering how to reveal it to Naruto, but I guess here is as good a time as any. A little while back, Naruto met my parents, and they made him sign an agreement to say he wouldn't break my heart, etc. etc." Yui waved her hand dismissively, "But the important thing that Naruto didn't realise, is that was a marriage contract. He was signing to say he was going to marry me."

"S-so?" Lala seemed a little shaken but didn't see the issue.

"Thing is, my parents turned it in to the registry and since my mom is pretty high up in the police, she managed to pull some strings so that I am technically married to him."

"That can't be right!" Lala shook her head. "After all, if you did try that, wouldn't it be rejected as your Earth documents would (falsely) show Naruto is married to Risa?!"

"Thing is, since he signed Naruto Namikaze on Risa's agreement and Naruto Uzumaki on mine… they never realised it was the same person!" Yui cackled. "How does it feel to be a bronze medallist at best?!"

"I…" Lala fell to her knees. "No… I mean I always figured I could make Risa disappear and Naruto might not notice… but you would be too difficult to remove. Just like when I was planning to deal with Rito to solve the whole Haruna thing."

"Wait, what was that about me?" Rito blinked.

"Oh, it's not all about you, Rito," Yui rolled her eyes.

"That sounded like it definitely involved me in a way I wouldn't like!" Rito countered.

"But… But it doesn't count!" Lala suddenly regained her composure, "And when I win this duel, I'll just reveal the truth and then both marriages would be cancelled right? So, then I am still the first! If there isn't a wedding it doesn't count! And Risa's wasn't a proper wedding so that doesn't count either!"

Rito rubbed his forehead as the two girls bickered. 'Get back soon Naruto. This is getting ridiculous.'

Things were not looking good for the current empress of the Devilukian Empire.

She was currently seated in a Charmian courtroom, which looked a lot like an Earth courtroom with some minor differences. Namely the fact that everything was decorated in shades of pale blue and white and there were three judges currently sat listening to the prosecution. They were supposed to represent the three sides of the Arcangus nation. Shinko, one-time fellow apprentice of Sephie, sat representing the Military arm and an old man with a beard that was tied up in some sort of elaborate lion's mane design represented the Civilian arm, Usually, in a case as severe as this, Sephie herself would be seated in the middle of the three, representing the Arcangus Faith, but as she was on trial for treason against the Arcangus and the Charmian people, that role had been delegated to a relatively senior priest. Unfortunately for Sephie, this priest didn't particularly like her marriage to Gid and believed her 'tainted' by devilukian influences.

"So, in summary," The prosecutor gestured to Sephie, "I feel we can safely assume that, not only did the suspect betray her own faith, she potentially crippled our naval and civilian capabilities by allowing the destruction of so many artefacts." He had oily black hair, a very unusual trait in the usually fair Charmian race, and wore a smug look of satisfaction, as if far too pleased that he thought he was about to sign the death sentence on a much beloved figure of the Charmian Hierarchy.

In fact she was so well liked by many, that the ruling council were concerned about her being executed, lest it cause a civil war to erupt amongst the Charmain people and invite punishment from Gid, who would quickly and brutally end a divided Charmian army. Hence this case was little more than a sham. At worst Sephie would lose her rank as High Priestess but there was another reason to this trial, one that the target had no idea of yet, and ultimately wouldn't until it was too late for them.

The case in question was simple. As High Priestess, Sephie had sworn an oath to protect and preserve Arcangus artefacts as much as possible. Some time back, she had been on board a vessel used by Galactic War Criminal Orochimaru of the Orochi clan where she had come across as vast number of artefacts that were slowly being absorbed by genetically engineered life forms. If she destroyed the new life forms, she could have saved the sacred items, but after a confrontation with Naruto, decided against it.

The end result being hundreds of artefacts being lost (and Earth gaining an army of Arcangus powered GELF that were currently hiding in the Gama Clan's extra dimensional hideout on Earth, but Sephie had kept that bit quiet) and her life being on the line. Still Sephie was not worried. While unaware of the trail's true purpose, she had faith that Gid, Lala and/or Naruto would do something to save her. Admittedly Naruto was scattered to the far ends of time now, but he would probably show up at the best moment, so Sephie was perfectly happy to let this trial proceed.

"I have a question," Shinko looked at the prosecutor sternly, "The video file, the one that was submitted to the Devilukian News network, did we ever verify it's sender?"

"Does that really matter?" The prosecutor paused, a flicker of confusion on his face. "The video clearly shows…"

"This video, taken from a cruiser that was practically gutted by a powerful explosion? That was immediately taken into our custody, yet no video was found by our people?" Shinko pressed. "The video that was sent directly to a Devilukian news network who proceeded to broadcast it throughout the galaxy causing several riots on Charmian planets?"

"I…" The prosecutor seemed to notice for the first time that all the exits were heavily guarded. "I don't understand your concerns. The video shows quite clearly…"

"A video recorded by unknown means," Shinko stated bluntly. "Which means it isn't impossible that clones were used in the recording of this 'evidence'."

"That… That is impossible!"

"How so? Do you have some sort of proof?"

"I am not on trial here," The prosecutor drew himself up, "And at the end of the day, two facts remain regardless of that evidence. Hundreds of irreplaceable artefacts were lost and Sephie is responsible so…"

"High Priestess Sephie," The old priest suddenly corrected. "The Faith has not stripped her of her… rank yet and she is due the respect that rank entitles her too. Prosecutor Yama"

"Apologies" There wasn't a hint of genuine remorse to be found in the now named prosecutor's voice.

"You know, I found it a bit odd," Shinko remarked offhandedly, "Why would someone be so eager to take the case? Our history aside, I am aware that to pass judgement on Sephie without an iron clad case would be impossible without causing a mass uprising and would probably invite punishment from the more devoted. So of course, I did a bit of digging, looking into every small detail of this case… Including into you, prosecutor Yama."

"I am a faithful servant to the Arcangus…" Yama started before being cut off by the old priest once more.

"Spare us your lies heretic. I tire of this charade!" The priest slammed his hands on the table.

"Heretic?" Sephie mumbled as she looked around the room, as if noticing the heavily armed guards, or more accurately their weapons, for the first time. Part of her has assumed they were precautions against Gid (as laughable as someone stopping the pint sized emperor was to her, well at least someone who wasn't a blonde haired avatar of the Arcangus anyway) but on closer inspection she noticed the ancient glaives they were carrying bore no signs of anti-Devilukian modifications.

"I… I don't understand…" Yama looked genuinely confused.

"So, this isn't yours then?!" Shinko held up a mask, one that looked awfully like a crying drama mask, with black tears painted on it before tossing it on the floor.

There was a universal gasp from the courtroom, with the priest and even Sephie herself unable to stop herself from muttering a quick prayer of protection. The mask was one that sometimes lurked in her nightmares, a visage of the Damus of Misery and a symbol of those who would seek her rebirth.

"I…" Yama faltered.

"I would ask you what this is, but we both know what it is," Shinko spat angrily, "What is your defence? Heretic?"

"…I see…" Yama's whole attitude changed. "So, childlike… Labelling something you don't understand as heresy whilst you cling to your dead gods." There was a tired sigh before Yama looked up, a clear madness in his eyes. His smile seemed disjointed, as if drawn by someone who had only vaguely heard about faces and expressions. "While you waste your time praying to those who cannot hear and even if they could, would not care… I devote myself to a cause that truly values not just my life, but all that live!"

"Why?!" The priest cried out. "The Arcangus have guided us for our entire history! Why would you betray our very species?"

"The Arcangus are dead and gone," Yama declared. "Only the Mistress of Misery remains. Everything that your fallen Gods could cook up were only able to seal her away, even then you needed the Devilukians' assistance. She will be free shortly and the universe will know true salvation through misery! And she needs us alive! The dead can't be miserable after all."

"What sort of twisted logic is that? You would gladly live in misery?!" Shinko looked genuinely confused. "What sort of life would that be?!"

"Better than dead like the fake gods you worship," Yama spat venomously.

"May the Arcangus strike you down heretic!" The old priest was foaming at the mouth and Shinko had to stop the old man from leaping over the table and attacking the prosecutor. She needed to know how deep the cancer had spread before they gave him the punishment he deserved.

"Your dead gods can't touch me!" Yama declared. "I have seen the gifts of the true god! What 'blessings' have the Arcangus given us?! I have nothing to fear from the dead. Strike me down?! Ha! Let them try! Come on! SMITE ME!" He smirked his unnatural smile as he cast his arms wide open but before he could say another word, there was a strange sensation that everyone in the room felt, a sort of static feeling in the air.

"Lady Michaela," the priest muttered as he held a rough effigy of an angelic looking figure holding a sword, the sounds of mumbled prayer barely audible over a soft humming that started to fill the room. Blue energy started to arc throughout the chamber, causing unnatural blue fires where it struck. A feeling of powerful energy charging up. It was an if some great power was slowly building, and it seemed to be centred on the rapidly panicking Yama's location.

"Oh…" Yama blinked. 'Maybe I was wrong… Maybe the Arcangus aren't dead' he thought to himself as he felt the room glow blue softly as the energy built up before suddenly there was an explosion of blood and gore and the pale blue walls of the courtroom were misted in red. In the centre of the explosion stood a confused blonde-haired youth.

"Er…" Naruto looked around awkwardly. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Urgh…" Nana groaned softly as she woke up, before briefly panicking as she found herself stuck inside some sort of life support cot. Fortunately, her panic was short lived, and the cot opened and allowed her to leave, where a tired but smiling Dr. Mikado was stood.

"Welcome back. You've been out cold for a while." Mikado gestured to a seat for Nana to sit in.

"What happened?" She sat down, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and accepting the warm drink Mikado gave her.

"Well you suffered from a sudden and violent breaking of the link between you and Naruto, the devilukian mental bond that you and your sisters shared with him." Mikado paused to allow this to sink in.

"The mental link broke? Did that perverted beast get tired of us and decide to break it off?" The elder twin princess scowled.

"That's your first thought?" Mikado blinked. "Not that he died or something?"

"That wild animal is too stupid to die," Nana declared.

"He's alive and he didn't voluntarily break your bond. He apparently got flung into the past, but the sudden nature of the time travel appears to have not given him any time to shield you from the effect of the connection being torn apart. It knocked you and your sisters out for a while "

"Oh," The was a sagging of Nana's shoulders, as if a fear she loathed to admit she was even feeling was suddenly lifted from them. "Are my sisters alright? How about the baby twins?"

"Megal and Adon have been fine, although they are a bit fidgety as if they know Naruto isn't nearby. As for your sisters, you are the last one to regain consciousness. I wonder if that means the mental link between you and Naruto was deeper or something." This last comment was mumbled under her breath, as Mikado's inner scientist found itself curious as to the nature of the bond and its effects on individuals. With there being few Devilukian scientists that worked on anything other than making bigger guns, bombs or ships, the more complex inner workings of a devilukian were a mystery even now. Not to mention the Damus Seals and how they worked.

"Oh, I see," Nana suddenly found the floor remarkably interesting. 'So… I woke up last because Naruto likes me the most?' "W-well I suppose it is to be expected!" She stood up suddenly, her face aflame. "I… I mean I always suspected that was the case but…"

"Hm?" Mikado looked back at Nana, "Do you need to rest again?"

"N-No. Is Naruto back yet?"

"Not yet no," the school nurse looked vaguely concerned, "But Lala is sure he should be back any moment."

"Any moment?" Nana caught a look at her reflection. She couldn't confront him about his clear preference for her with severe bed head. "I shall take a bath!" She declared suddenly.

"Alright," Mikado waved goodbye uncertainly. "Well with all the sisters up and running, I guess I can finish off that project Lala requested." With a delicate wave of her hand, the lab suddenly started to change from a hospital ward back to a research lab. In the centre of this high-tech lab was a large glass column full of a green liquid, with a strange looking rock suspended in the middle of it.

"Begin Audio Record, GELF reanimation test number 12," Mikado spoke softly, as the lab started recording her dialogue. "Initial tests show a response from the control core, this new blend of genetic material appears to be somewhat compatible with the core. Beginning reassembly procedure…"

There was a soft hum and the green vessel started to glow, bathing the room in a sickly green light.

"Hmm… No response." Mikado sighed. "Ending test 12. It appears that the compatibility factor of the new genetic material isn't high enough to even begin the restructuring process without completely reprogramming the core. Will try again with material blend 6Da." The green glow faded as the experiment powered down and the liquid slowly drained from the vessel, leaving only the odd shaped core. "Still if this is supposed to be an apology present, wouldn't it make more sense for you to do this yourself Lala?" Mikado let out a sigh before stepping out of the lab and making her way to the nursery.

As she entered, she was surprised to see a snoozing Momo, with Megal and Adon gleefully climbing over Kushina, who was sat staring into space with empty eyes.

"Are you alright there Kushina?"

"Life is suffering." Kushina droned. Having been struck by the Alter Alter rifle, her usual energetic and sexually charged mood had been replaced with a down and depressed mood.

"Ah…" Mikado blinked. "Is there anything I can do?" She was vaguely aware of what was going on in the D-Dial, having suggested to Lala that she could use a sleeping agent to knock everyone out and then revert them back to normal, but Lala had rejected the idea, suggesting that a bit of a distraction was good for everyone.

"I am beyond saving… I am a terrible mother…"

"Well I guess mothers aren't quite as close as you are with your step-son…"

"Oh Minato-kun… I lost our daughter and now I lost your son… I'm less than useless…"

"I... I'll leave you to it…" Mikado faltered. She was a medical doctor, and not a psychiatrist so Kushina's current mood was not something that she felt qualified to deal with.

"I don't know… I'm a terrible mother…" Kushina droned as Adon tried to eat her hair, looking disgusted at the flavour but not given up because Mama Lala didn't raise no quitter and the first time she had spat it out, Kushina's mood had worsened. Megal, being the more sensitive of the two, had apparently caught Kushina's depression because she was just laid on her back, staring at the ceiling while snuggling into the gloomy woman's stomach. "I can't even look after these two…" She gestured to the two half-devilukian children lounging around her.

"Oh…" Mikado smiled sadly. "Well… Don't give up hope. I am sure you will meet again besides you'll never guess what just happened."

"Naruto's back?!" It was like someone flipped a switch and suddenly Kushina was back to normal, shooting to her feet. This earned a delightful cry of happiness from Adon, who enjoyed being launched into the air and from Megal, who was probably simply happy that Kushina was. "Oh Minato! I'm not a complete failure yet!"

"Ah… No." Mikado held up her hands and caught the squealing Adon, who looked disappointed that the doctor hadn't let her hit the floor. "I was going to say that Nana had woken up."

"Oh great," Kushina sighed, having apparently returned to her usual self after the sudden spike of emotion. "The succubus trio are all up and running again. Well at least they are all okay, I guess. Still would have been nice to have some time with those three out of the way when Naruto returns."

"Some things never change," Mikado smiled slightly, "Oh and about your daughter, I'm sure she'll be found."

"Of course, she will," Kushina nodded sagely. "While the elder succubus may be trying to take over Naruto's life, she does have contacts and the moment she gets even a whisper of my daughter's location, I'm gonna swoop in and save her and when I get a hold of those responsible…" She started shadow boxing, an action mimicked almost perfectly by Adon, but far more clumsily by Megal.

Chuckling, Mikado left the re-energised Kushina to keep an eye on the girls, carrying Momo to a bed so she could sleep probably. The youngest of the three princesses had put on a brave face but would probably be relieved to see her twin up and about.

"That just leaves you Naruto," Mikado murmured. "If I know you… you are probably getting yourself into trouble. Just make sure you come back safe and sound."

"Er… Thank you." Naruto coughed awkwardly as he accepted a glass of what he assumed was water from a Charmian maid, who conveniently enough was wearing what looked like an old fashioned Victorian maid's outfit, just in shades of light blue and white, as with practically everything that the Charmian's made. If he had taken the time to think about it, he would have probably wondered how come humanity and Charmians seemed to share so much when it came to designs, but his mind was too busy trying to work out where he was now.

After his… arrival in the courtroom, Naruto had been quickly escorted to a luxurious looking room while they hosed down the court. The room he was in now had a large holographic display that appeared to be showing some sort of Charmian drama.

As he sipped the water, or whatever it was that looked and tasted like water, he turned to talk to the Maid, who was stood dutifully in the corner. She had her eyes constantly shut, or at least it appeared like it and had soft blue hair that matched her outfit. She gestured idly and several small orbs fell from her sleeve before slowly levitating then flitting about the room, tidying it up.

"I hope the Honourable Sir can forgive the state of the room, we were not expecting to be hosting one in this location for some time."

"So… Where am I?" Naruto coughed awkwardly.

"The Honourable Sir is currently in the VIP lounge attached to the courtroom. Usually this would be the residing quarters of the High Priestess, however as she is currently in the defendant's quarters, this room was vacant."

"And why was I escorted here? That room I… er… appeared in seemed a bit messy."

"I am told that on the honourable sir's arrival the Prosecutor found himself exploding."

"…Does that happen often in Charmian courts?"

"I am uncertain how law and punishment work on the Honourable Sir's planet, however death is not the sort of thing One would usually experience in a courtroom. One would assume Sir is a Devilukian? I imagine that sort of thing happens often in devilukian courts."

Naruto chuckled as he imagined what a devilukian court must look like. For some reason he could only imagine a boxing ring. "Right… So… How did that happen?" He shook the image from his head and returned his attention to the maid, who was pottering around the room, trying to look busy as the small orb like drones continued cleaning the room. It did make Naruto wonder what purpose the maid served.

"I was not party to the incident," The maid bobbed her head solemnly, "But I am told that you appeared at the exact spot where the prosecutor stood… until he suddenly wasn't."

"Oh…" Naruto paled slightly, "So am I to be tried for murder?"

"I am not privy to the decisions of the council but the request for you to be housed here came from quite high up." The maid bowed her head. "If the Honourable Sir is hungry, I can go and prepare a meal for sir."

"I'm fine," Naruto smiled uneasily, but then a sudden growling from his stomach caused the maid to curtesy.

"I shall be back shortly with a variety of meals." The maid bowed her head once more and left the room, leaving Naruto to watch some sort of romantic drama. It wasn't terrible, although it seemed to reference things that Naruto had no idea about, but he assumed were common knowledge to Charmian people, or maybe people that were fans of the show. As far as he was able to follow, the heroine on screen was in love with the roguish looking youth, but for some reason their love was forbidden.

It appeared that for all the cultural differences between the Charmians and humanity, their love dramas played out quite similarly. If he were any judge, they were at the climax of the drama, where the heroine would decide to run away with youth and turn her back on whatever obligations she had.

"I wish I could change the channel," Naruto looked around the room for something more interesting. He was still a little groggy from being thrown through time and space. Still he couldn't help but feel a great deal at pride at the skill his daughter had shown in helping him navigate the treacherous tides of time travel and seeing the children he would one day father had been an… interesting experience. He made a mental note to read more books on how to be a good father but was suddenly drawn back to the TV by an astonished gasp.

"Oh, my beloved… do you mean it truly?" The heroine (or at least Naruto assumed she was) of the TV show suddenly declared.

"I truly do…" The roguish youth cut a shred of his hair and handed it to her. "Even if they reject our love, I know that the Arcangus of Love blesses our union. Would you take this Oath of Love?"

"Of course, I will!" The woman accepted the gift of hair. "Even when we are apart, our souls shall be intertwined!"

"…What?" Naruto blinked as he watched what was clearly a proposal scene.

"I have returned," The maid announced as she was pushing a small tray of various treats.

"Er… Miss Maid?"

"Yes, Honoured Sir?"

"The bit where she accepted the tuft of hair… Was that a proposal?" He pointed at the screen.

"Ah yes, swearing the Oath of Love." The maid nodded. "It is said that the Arcangus of love, Gabriella, once presented the Arcangus of Humility, Michaela, with a lock of her own hair as a symbol of her undying loyalty."

'Sluttiest line in the book.' Raphael's voice remarked from Naruto's psyche. 'Damn sis-con probably get all hot and bothered about a part of her being with Michaela at all times and these morons turned that into a marriage proposal?!'

'Are you still mad that they view you as one of the weakest Arcangus?' The silken voice of Asmodea teased, but any response was silenced by Naruto as he took stock of this.

'Wait a second… Sephie presented me with some hair in the past right?'

'Yup. And you accepted it. How unfaithful of you! Becoming engaged to your lovers' mother before they are even born! Hey… Does that make you their step-father?'

'Not helping,' Naruto thought to himself in a cold sweat.

'And then there is the fact that you offered a lock of your hair to the half Devilukian/ Charmian who was Sephie's rival, and she accepted so you technically got proposed to by Sephie, which you accepted and then proposed to her rival, which she accepted so…'

'Lala's not gonna like that.' Naruto internally groaned.

"Is the Honourable Sir alright? You have been pulling strange faces in silence for a bit now."

"Ah… I'm fine… Ahaha…" He laughed weakly, "Let's say someone accidentally accepted or gave a… what was it you called it? Oath of Love?"

"Accidentally?" There was a confused expression on the maid's face. "You accidentally removed a lock of your own hair and presented it to someone? Or accidentally received a lock of someone else's hair that they cut off in front of you?"

"Er… Both?"

"… Well the gesture itself is more symbolic than anything." The maid remarked. "I mean I guess if the Oath was private or between people of a lower class, it wouldn't matter."

"And if the person involved was pretty high in Charmian society and the Oath was witnessed by more than a few people?"

"Oh, the shame would be terrible." The maid remarked bluntly. "I mean I would personally end my life than have to live with the shame."

"Ah…" Naruto blinked.

"Even if it is just a gesture… Anyone with any degree of faith in the Arcangus takes it very seriously. If it were discovered that a member of the Faith was guilty of such a thing, they would be stripped of their rank at the least. A higher-ranking figure would have to have a more severe punishment carried out." The maid paused, "Is there a reason you asked?"

"No… None at all…" Naruto laughed awkwardly, and the maid curtsied before leaving, the orbs returning to her sleeves as she left the room.

Naruto stared blankly at the tray of small food stuffs alone. "What do I do?"

'I'd start with those pink frosted things. They kind of look like a va-'

'I meant about the proposal! And now you've said that I don't think I could eat one.'

'No wonder the girls aren't satisfied if you aren't willing to eat them out."

'Focus!'

'Fine…Accept her as your fiancé and rail her good and proper?'

'No.'

'Accept them both as your lovers and treat them with respect and care.'

'And give 'em both the good ol' bucking bronco.'

'No…'

'Fine, here's a good way out of this situation… You first get that maid to come back, then you have sex with her. Then with Sephie and any other females here, then finally you go home and have sex with all of the girls back there.'

'How does that help at all?!'

'See if you are good enough at sex, they will all be too busy laying around, gasping as what remains of their fragile psyche struggles to recover from the sheer onslaught of pleasure you have hit 'em with. They won't be in any position to complain about the situation if they can barely form the brain power to speak! So don't hesitate to use the tongue of yours for more than talking.'

'That is quite possibly the worst plan I have ever heard.'

'She does have a point though. Women like receiving oral too… If you know what you are doing'

Naruto rubbed his forehead tiredly. What were you supposed to do when the angel on your shoulder agreed with the devil and both seemed far too interested in carnal pleasures all things considered?

'Do it! Do it!' Asmodea's silken tones cooed repeatedly in the depths of his mind.

Naruto merely grumbled. He really needed to stop getting thrown backwards and forwards in time. It only seemed to cause him more headaches. Well beside the one time he would go back and save his dad. But after that no more time travelling. Oh and there was his half-sister too, but he could save her and his dad in one go so after they were all saved, definitely no more time travelling. Well unless the world really needed him to do it. But only if a lot of people could die if he didn't!

While he mentally listed the conditions for him breaking his 'no more time travelling' decision, there was a soft knock at the door and two people entered. The first Naruto instantly recognised as Sephie, even behind her veil. The second took him a moment, but he shortly realised she was Shinko, the Charmian-devilukian hybrid who he had accidentally proposed to.

'Okay… How to resolve this without hurting anyone… I could just be honest about the whole thing…'

'Ah yes honesty. The crutch of a fool.'

'What?'

'Lie, cheat and sleep with everyone! It's the only way to win at life!'

'How about having a family and a deep meaningful relationship?'

'Lame… Oh wait… Unless you are saying you want a 'deep' relationship with me~'

'Does everything revolve around sex with you?'

'Not everything. Sometimes I have to save a blonde dumbass who decided to pick a fight with the closest thing to a full powered version of myself.'

'I helped!'

Naruto rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"I am sorry to disturb you Seraphim-sama," Shinko kneeled before him.

"Seraphim-sama?" Naruto blinked. "I think you must have me mistaken with someone."

'What happened to honesty?'

'…Shut up. This is the best way to avoid hurting anyone.'

'I get you. Why deal with a problem today when you can let it fester and become an absolute disaster later on.'

Naruto chose to ignore the smug sounding Damus in his head and focused on the confused expression on Shinko.

"I was so sure…" Sephie frowned slightly, although her veil hid most of her face. "I could have sworn that was the outfit you were wearing…"

"Er… I'm sorry, am I missing something?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Do you know who I am?" Sephie asked.

"Er… Sure…" Naruto frowned. "Aren't you Lala's mother or something?"

"I see." Sephie suddenly smiled brilliantly. "It is not the right time yet."

"I don't understand," Shinko glanced between the two. "Is this not Seraphim-sama?"

"It both is, and it isn't." Sephie leaned closer to her one-time rival and whispered in her ear. "He is Seraphim-sama, before we met him. We shouldn't say too much in case we cause the pasts to change."

"Before?" Only a raised eyebrow betrayed Shinko's confusion.

"Time does not flow the same for the champions of the Arcangus as it does for us, their humble servants."

"Ah," Shinko stood up. "Then thank you, Seraphim-sama… For the next time we meet."

"Er… Don't mention it?" Naruto laughed weakly.

With a bow of her head, the commander left the room and Naruto turned to Sephie.

"So…" Naruto coughed, "What exactly was going on here?"

"I was being tried for high treason, but it turned out it was all a set up to capture a member of the Cult of Misery."

"Cult of Misery?"

"There are those in the galaxy who believe that only through suffering can we achieve true happiness. That only if we understand how cruel the world is, can we find true joy in the little things." Sephie sat down beside Naruto, slightly closer to him that was probably appropriate, especially considering the size of the couch they were sat on. "You see, a long time ago there was a Damus who somehow survived the extermination of their kind. She slept and slept but when she awoke, she essentially ruled over the Devilukians from behind the shadows. Gid-kun and I swore an alliance to defeat her and eventually we managed to seal her away."

"Seal her away?" Naruto repeated. "If she was a Damus, that must have been pretty hard to do." He briefly remembered the ease with which the so called Damus of Misery had flung him through time with a shiver.

"It took great sacrifices on both sides. In the end Gid and his Nine Holy Knights were able to buy enough time for her to be sealed away."

"The Holy Knights," Naruto frowned, "Wasn't my mother one of those?"

"Indeed, Kurama, the Ninth Holy Knight. If what Lala has told me is true, you have had several run ins with some of the other knights too. There is Lucky Seven Choumei…"

"That's the one who goes by Fu right? Somehow can 'speak' emoticons? Pretty good with seals that take away memories…"

"That's the one. She is the one who devised the seals that finally stopped the Damus. Then there is the Bloody First Knight, Shukaku."

"Oh the naked Tattoo woman who picked a fight with me because she fought my mother was a god." Naruto blinked. "You know my life has certainly become more interesting ever since Lala showed up. To think all I originally wanted was a quiet life with Haruna-chan…" He smiled distantly.

"It is strange how meeting a single individual can have such a dramatic change on one's life and goals." Sephie stared at Naruto intently, which cause the blonde to cough awkwardly, "Ah… I suppose you'll be wanting to go home now?"

"Y-Yeah, need to check in on my daughters. They made it back okay, right? Saki as well?"

"I believe so," Sephie smiled as she stood up. "Fortunately, we are in the Sol System, your home system, so we are in range of Lala-chan's tracking beacon."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"As a princess she has a tracking beacon injected into her. She always wondered how we were able to find her every time she ran away from a suitor meeting, I am surprised it didn't occur to her how we were doing it." Sephie tipped her head sideward, "Or maybe she knew but was just making a scene, rather than a deliberate attempt to escape?" The high priestess rummaged through a set of drawers before pulling out a small ring. "Do you remember Lala-chan's teleporting invention?"

"Isn't that how she ended up in my shower when we first me… er… well after my memories were… you know."

"Indeed." Sephie put the ring on his finger. "Oh my, force of habit but I put that on your engagement finger." She laughed. "I should probably put it on another finger…" Her voice trailed off as if to suggest 'unless'.

"Y-yeah," Naruto nodded. "Don't want Lala getting all Yandere around you as well. It's worrying enough with how she treats Risa when she claims to be my first bride."

"Which is false," Sephie cut in quickly. "Or so Lala tells me."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "The wedding ceremony was kinda… legally suspect. Still I care for Risa the way I care about all the people in my life."

"Of course," After placing the ring on another finger, Sephie stepped backwards. "The ring is designed to lock in on Lala's signal so should take you right to her, no matter where she is."

"I see," Naruto nodded as the ring started to glow. "Wait a minute… You said this is powered by the same tech Lala used?"

"That is correct."

"Doesn't that mean…"

"You'll arrive completely naked? Yes."

Whatever Naruto's next words were to be, Sephie didn't hear them as he suddenly flickered out of existence, his clothes falling in a pile where he stood.

"Oh my… I was so certain this one would have been the one that accepted my proposal." Sephie sighed dramatically as she picked up the clothes, "I suppose that is for the best. I imagine Gid-kun would only want to fight the 'bastard seraphim who showed me up by wasting my sister and almost my brother, when I totally could have done it and didn't need his help at all!'…" She paused as something fell out of one of the pockets of the clothes.

A lock of hair that was the same colour as her own.

"Oh?" Sephie smile was certainly not one that the most Divine member of the Charmian Ecclesiarchy should have been wearing. "Well isn't that interesting~"

Life was strange, Saki mused to herself as she laid in her bath, idly soaking in the warm water. It couldn't have been more than a year ago when her main priority was being the Queen Bee of school.

She let out a soft sigh as she adjusted her body position, watching the rose petals floating on the surface as they danced around the water, before returning to her musings. Everything had changed when Lala had shown up and she had felt her throne slipping from her fingers and had taken precautions to find out Lala's weaknesses and had even tried to seduce Naruto away from her, purely to protect her own image.

Admittedly she did get a little crazy, after all kidnapping Naruto could have been taking things a tad bit too far. Still it all worked out in the end.

She paused slightly as she considered the blonde-haired young man. While she was vaguely aware that her bodyguard, Rin, had some sort of history with Naruto, the exact details regarding the nature of their relationship, both past and present, were unknown to her. She suspected Rin was fond of the boy, but at the end of the day she put her duty as Saki's friend and bodyguard above her own desires.

With another sigh, she gracefully left the bath and held out her arms, only for a sudden gust to pass through the room and suddenly the naked beauty was wrapped up in a towel, a maid kneeling beside her.

"Thank you Hanabi-chan," Saki glanced at the maid before her. It occurred to Saki that she didn't know that much about the girl's past, although she did now know the reason for maid's unwavering loyalty and probably for her negative views on Naruto.

"If milady wishes it, I would be honoured to help you dry your body."

"That's fine," Saki chuckled. "However, if you would dry my hair that would be appreciated."

"As you wish," The solemn maid produced a hair dryer from somewhere on her person and gestured to a small seat facing a mirror, where Saki sat down, looking at her own reflection with more than a little pride.

As the maid began drying and combing her hair, Saki mused more on recent events. She had recently become aware of life on other planets, in fact she two of her maids were in fact abandoned projects of an evil alien scientist though Saki hadn't seen them recently. Given Hanabi, it was quite possible they were in a different country assassinating someone who voted less than a 9/10 rating on one of Saki's pictures online.

"Is everything okay milady?"

"Hm?" Saki snapped out of her daydream. "What makes you say that?"

"You have been sighing a lot lately. Is this about Rin-sama's injuries?" The maid paused in her actions and stared at her mistress, a flicker of concern passing across her face.

Saki didn't respond instantly. Her friend had been badly injured in her duties, which did make Saki feel guilty. Still Rin herself had healed rather quickly (thanks to the alien Nurse that lived at Naruto's house) and seemed to be coping well… although she was a bit obsessive with her training. When Saki had last asked Rin how training was going, the swordswoman mumbled something about harnessing an Archangel's energy and, as much as she supported her friends, that sounded like something Saki couldn't really help with.

"I do feel somewhat responsible for that." Saki finally spoke up. "However, Rin has made it clear that I should not hold myself responsible, and I agreed on the condition she didn't blame herself."

"That does sound like Lady Rin." Hanabi nodded her head as she resumed drying and combing Saki's hair. "She does put your welfare before all else Saki-sama."

"No I was thinking about Narut- OW!" Saki yelped as Hanabi twitched, unintentionally pulling on Saki's hair.

"Oh my apologies." Hanabi bowed her head. "I… Did that uncultured brute do something to you milady?!"

"It wasn't his fault it was mine you see…"

"It's alright. The beast probably said it was your fault for looking so amazingly beautiful that all who gaze upon you feel their loins burning and you occupy all of their thoughts and consume all of their desires to the fact that just lying in a bath you had previously used in pure ecstasy and drinking your bathwater is enough to bring them to orgasm, but is not your fault," Hanabi bowed her head. "I'll have the swine exterminated and his remains scattered to the four corners of the globe and…"

"He didn't do anything." Saki remarked sternly. "As a woman of standing, I wouldn't just give my first time to anyone and while Uzumaki-san has some redeeming qualities I would not just… Wait what was that about the bathwater?"

"Even if he did something, you are still a pure maiden." Hanabi continued. "And I will ensure there will be no rumours to suggest otherwise." Her intentions were punctuated by her cocking a shotgun she had pulled from somewhere with her maid's outfit.

"I appreciate your intentions, but Naruto-san is not a threat to my chastity," Saki smiled. "I mean he is somewhat handsome and a good person and he does make you feel important and you know that if you closed your eyes and fell, he would catch you in his arms and…" There was a faint dusting of red on Saki's cheeks, "Ahem. That's not what I was thinking about."

"Doesn't seem like that," Hanabi mumbled under her breath, while mentally working out how to turn Naruto into a Eunuch and escape undetected.

"It's just… I used to be a big fish in a small pond and know I find out that he is all but engaged to an actual princess and is apparently aiming to become the emperor of the galaxy. That's… That is such a big pond that my small pond isn't even a puddle in comparison. It makes me feel really… petty that I put some much effort into such a meaningless title." Saki slumped slightly as Hanabi started to comb her hair.

"You are greater than an empress to me, milady." Hanabi bowed her head, desperately trying to cheer her mistress up. A Saki that wasn't 'Ohohoho'-ing and radiating confidence as brightly as the Sun was inherently wrong in her mind. "An angel who performed a miracle once told me that I should find and serve you. If I loved the angel for saving me, I worshipped her for sending me to someone as kind and wonderful as you."

"Ah… About that…" Saki bit her lip. "That angel? That was me."

"…Pardon?"

"Naruto and I… We ended up going back in time and one thing led to another…"

"Oh." Hanabi lowered her head. "I see… So the reason you were crying when he took you away is because you promised to… to do things with him in order for him to let you save me?"

"I… That's not…" Saki rubbed her forehead. "I had to make a choice and… it wasn't an easy one. But you need not concern yourself about that." The heiress sighed. "I grow weary and require rest."

"As you say, milady." Hanabi bowed her head. "If you say nothing happened, then that is how it was."

"Very well," Saki smiled, "But I promise you, Naruto-san has done nothing to me. I do understand your concerns. I am aware that he obviously he wanted to, after all he is a male with an interest in women and I am me." Saki's ego fired up and the heiress fanned herself whilst laughing. "Frankly, Lala is lucky that I have decided not to pursue him. I mean… Could you imagine her ever beating me? It would be cruel of me to take the possible title of Empress from her anyway…" Saki paused. "Huh… Empress Saki… That's… Hm…." She looked thoughtful. "I rather like the sound of that. Ohohohohoho!" She ojou-laughed shrilly as she left the bathroom.

"Of course," Hanabi smiled as she waited for Saki to leave the room. "It is good to see milady has recovered. She was shaken up when we got back to the mansion…" her soft expression darkened, and she sneered. "Damn that devil bastard. I'm gonna have to pay a visit to him and find out just what he did and then… educate him on his place, but first…." She pulled an empty hipflask from some mysterious hiding place and walked towards the bath, her maid outfit and a variety of weapons falling to the floor. "I think it's time for my reward."

"No… I… How is this possible?!" Lala flailed her arms angrily.

"Weren't we originally here to clean up Lala's D-Dial storage?" Rito asked his little sister.

"That's right," Mikan replied from the sun lounger she was laid on, peering over her sunglasses at him.

"So how did we end up filling the entire thing with sand and what looks like an actual ocean?! Isn't this counter-productive?!" Rito gestured to the entire beach where the crew were gathered. As be fitting such a scene, everyone was wearing a swimsuit, with Rito wearing a school one was he couldn't handle a bikini in his currently female body.

He didn't need an explanation, having witnessed the whole thing but he did feel the need to vent. In order to force Lala to actually take her turn that would lead to Yui winning the card game and thus the duel, they had decided on another game. This time they would play a game of tennis, but that got down to the final set and once again, Lala refused to play since she would lose which then lead to a game of bowling and so on.

Rito had lost count of how many games deep they were now, but Lala currently looked like she was about to lose a game of beach volleyball against Alter Yui, who was sporting a seriously erotic string bikini and had spent half the beach battle fending off Nun Risa who was telling her to stop being shameless. Taking this into consideration, you could understand Lala's apparent confusion as to how she, physically and intellectually superior, was managing to lose so badly.

Of course, to Rito (and Lala herself Rito suspected) the reasons were obvious. Lala had been losing the card game by focusing on cute cards rather than effective ones, she lost bowling by clearly throwing it too hard so it either completely missed the pins and messed up the Tennis game by destroying her racket a few times and wearing a cute outfit the restricted her ability to use overarm shots. She had been losing the volleyball, by having seals (as in the large dogs of the sea) occasionally help out Yui as well as playing with the sun (that Lala had created the simulation of) shining right in her own face.

Still even as he suspected this was Lala's plan, Rito felt a sort of compulsion to play the straight man, if only to stop anyone else from thinking about it too hard.

"Hehehe…" Yui smirked. "But this time you messed up! The winning serve shall be taken by me, which means with this next blow, you have to take all of your next turns in every game we've been playing or lose by forfeit!"

"This… This cannot be…" Lala posed dramatically. "My love cannot be so easily defeated!"

"Take this!" Yui leapt up and spiked the ball straight at an undefended part of Lala's court.

"Easy!" Lala declared until she tripped over a seal that just happened to wander in her way. "N-No…"

"My victory!" Alter Yui smirked while fending off Alter Risa with her free hand, who was desperately trying to cover the 'shameless' swimsuit with a towel. "Now accept your defeat! There is nothing that can stop me now!"

"Nothing?" Lala suddenly smirked. "Well… If you run away from our duel… that would class as a forfeit right?"

"Yeah? But what are you gonna do? Gonna try and beat me up cos I think we both know Naruto won't like that."

"Of course not!" Lala beamed as she drew a small pocket watch from her bra. "And three, two.. one…"

"I COULD END UP ANYWHERE COMPLETELY NAKED!" Naruto suddenly appeared, stark naked, on the middle of the simulated beach. "Oh… Well this is great." As if trying to protect his decency, the devilukian tail that was a sign of his mother's heritage positioned itself like a biblical fig leaf. "What Yui? That's kinda risqué for you," the protagonist blinked. "I mean you look good in it but…"

"I…You…" There was a twitch as Yui's alter and true forms fought with one another with on clear victor. "You shameless beast!" Yui suddenly turned and ran away, her face aflame with embarrassment.

"Er…" Naruto coughed awkwardly as he turned to a grinning Lala. "Did… Did I interrupt something?"

"Nope! Everything went just as planned!" Lala declared as she walked over to Naruto. "We were just having a nice talk about marriage order and there was some confusion over claims you were already married."

"Oh Risa?"

"There was another," Lala remarked vaguely.

"R-Really?" The blonde half-alien cleared his throat, "Well I need to check on our daughters." He started to leave the room, hoping to avoid any potential drama but was suddenly halted by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around his waist and a head resting on his shoulder, her soft breath tickling the nape of his neck

"Naruto…" Lala whispered in a way that sent shivers down the blonde protagonist's spine.

"Yeah?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." Naruto smiled. "Hopefully I won't be getting myself sent back in time any time soon. At least not accidentally anyway."

"I'm sure everything will be fine!" Lala declared. "I've locked away the time machine! What's the worst that could happen now?"

Somewhere, deep in the lost regions of space, two figures were stood amongst hundreds of dead bodies. There were mechanised units that had been torn apart and destroyed turrets sparking as the excess energy sought release and also providing momentary illumination in the darkness.

The first was a tall cloaked figure, all of the its body concealed and only a strange smiling mask visible as an identifying trait. The second was a small girl, looking now older than ten. She wore a tattered cloak and had a cracked mask that seemed fused to her unnaturally white skin. Two red marks travelled from the eyes of the mask and onto her white flesh, continuing in a bloody trail to the bottom of her face. There were thick black manacles and shackles on her wrists and ankles, made of a deep obsidian-looking material with broken chains trailing from them that seemed to wave and float like fabric in the breeze.

"Well Mistress… Did I do a good job?" The taller figure had a chirpy voice.

"You took too long." The young girl's voice was broken and dry, as if a dust cloud were giving the ability to speak. "Is the Devilukian Empire even still a thing?"

"Indeed!" The masked man cackled. "You can quickly retake control of it and install another puppet emperor and it will be like you never left!"

"Good…" The young girl glanced at her shackles. "These… things need removing. I cannot recover my powers while these accursed manacles are placed upon me."

"In time mistress, you have followers all over the galaxy working to acquire all the tools that will allow you to regain all your powers." The masked figure grinned. "Also, I recruited lots of prisoners to help you!"

"Are these the same prisoners that are lying dead all around us?"

"…Some might still be alive!" The masked man grabbed the arm of a prisoner, although the arm came off and dangled limply, "Or at least salvageable." He remarked as he tossed the arm back on the pile of dead.

"It matters little. Be it a decade or a millennium, I shall return to my full power. What was the name of that irritating little brat who lead the rebellion against me?"

"That would be Gid mistress."

"Is he still alive?"

"Indeed. Under the alliance between the Charmians and the Devilukians the galaxy has been (mostly) at peace since your sealing. Well there was that one little temper tantrum where one of Gid's knights lead a rebellion against him but that got put down pretty quickly."

"I see." The young masked girl growled, "That one will die last. Only once I have shown this Gad…"

"Gid, mistress."

"…Gid true misery. Only then will I allow him the sweet release of death."

"I might have some ideas about that mistress! He has three daughters."

"Which would break him more? Seeing their corpses before him or seeing them twisted into being my most fervent followers." There was a dark laugh from the smaller of the two figures. "Come fool. I tire of this place. I need to recover my strength if I am to crush this Gid and everything he has built."

There was a distortion as if space time folded in on itself briefly, and then the two figures were gone leaving only the corpses of the prisoners and guards behind.

It would be hours before Gid learned that the prison break had occurred and by then, the Damus of Misery was long gone.

Side Story 1: Time Travelling Brothers

There was a sudden flash of light and what was once an empty alleyway nearby the Uzumaki household was now a slightly less empty alleyway.

Stood in the middle was a cloaked figure, kneeling as excess energy arched away from him and into the surrounding concrete walls. The figure paused for a moment before standing and looking around.

"I did it… I actually did it!" The voice was male and fairly young, probably mid-teens. "Ha, looks like your time travel misadventures offered the perfect distraction old man!"

There was the sound of movement and the figure span around, only to see a cat dash across the street.

The solitary figure cursed in embarrassment, before it lowered its hood, revealing bright blonde hair and shining blue eyes. "I'm going to kick your ass or my name isn't…"

"Uzumaki Naruto. You have finally left the safety of your house? Foolish." A cold voice remarked.

"Where?!" The blonde youth span around confused. "Wait I don't see him anywhere."

"What kind of act is this?" There was the soft 'click' of a weapon safety switch being toggled and a maid stepped out from a bush, at least the new arrival assumed she was a maid. She was wearing the uniform, but it was barely visible under the bandoleers of ammunition and various rifles and handguns on her person.

"Wait? I thought the old man said guns were super rare in Japan," The new arrival mumbled under his breath. "I mean they can't hurt me but still…"

"It doesn't matter," The maid declared as she stepped into the light and the newcomer saw her face.

"Wait a second you're Hanabi! Right?!" The new arrival blinked. "Oh man am I glad to see you!"

"That makes two of us," Hanabi's smile could be best described as predatory as he aimed down the iron sights of a large rifle. "Say your prayers Uzumaki Naruto, for defiling my mistress I sentence you to death."

"I'm not…" Whatever the mysterious figure was going to say was cut off by the rifle firing a large round that the victim couldn't help feeling must have been some anti-tank ordinance or something. He effortlessly dodged the projectile only for it to explode and throw him into the nearby wall. "Dammit that stung!"

"As expected, my arsenal is not enough to kill you. That's fine. It looks like it can hurt you." Hanabi tossed aside the rifle and pulled out a pair of SMGs from holsters under her arms.

"Son of a bitch," The newcomer wheezed. "Look we are on the same side; we both want to kick Naruto's ass!"

"You are fooling nobody, Uzumaki," Hanabi fired a burst of pellets that burst on contact. The target had no idea what sorta chemical was in them, but it burned his eyes and throat. Part of him wanted to fight back but given Hanabi was only human (at least he believed so. He would want a DNA test to confirm that) and the role she played in the future, the victim of her onslaught could not chance harming her so had to suck up and take it.

"Please… no more…" The boy coughed after a good five minutes of being peppered with the chemicals. His eyes were a streaming mess and he could barely breathe due to the burning spreading through his body.

"Stay away from Saki-sama or I'll be back with the strong stuff." Hanabi hissed before turning around and leaving the wheezing youth on the floor.

"Well… at least nobody saw that…"

"Please… no more…" A recording interrupted the wounded youth and another blonde stepped from the shadows. This one looked barely twelve and was wearing a black body suit. As well as the same brilliant blonde hair they also shared the same brilliant blue eyes. In one hand he held a small phone, playing a video of the attack and in the other was a small lollipop that the child seemed to be enjoying, although his face was completely devoid of expression.

"Yomi?! What are you doing here?" The cloaked figure groaned as he struggled to his feet.

"Did you think that your little jaunt into the past wouldn't get noticed." The now named Yomi removed his lollipop to speak before returning it to his mouth the instant he stopped talking.

"W-Well how did you manage to get to my location so quickly?! I deliberately chose this time period because all the time travel stuff should have disguised my arrival!"

"Indeed, and it would have done if not for the fact that pretty much every child on board father's flagship had the same idea and all jumped back to a similar point of time. Megal-Oneesama told me to follow you and bring you back."

"Oh? One of the miracle twins and deemed that I might actually hurt that shitty old man?"

"Hardly, Megal-Oneesama was concerned that if father didn't realise who you were, he might kill you and that would cause him some distress, so they asked me to make sure that didn't happen. They said if it was too difficult, I could just kill you and they'd create a clone so father would never know. They have already started growing and programming a Boruto MK II."

"W-w-what?! You mean those stupid dad-con twins would rather have me dead than risk that useless old bastard getting a little sad?!" While there was mostly exasperation in his voice, there was a tiny smidge of happiness at the prospect of the 'old bastard' being sad in the original Boruto's voice.

Yomi looked thoughtful. "Well they also said that even though it is technically impossible for any of father's children to alter the past in any meaningful ways that hasn't already happened so I could probably just watch you make a fool of yourself, but they did say I should kill you if I feel like it."

"How can you say such cold things to your little brother?!"

The child-like Yomi looked up at Boruto. "I am a genetically engineered super assassin consisting of the DNA of the (probably) strongest living being and the (arguably) best assassin that the galaxy has ever known. I was designed to be able to kill without effort. On the other hand, talking is hard. Would you prefer I stop talking?"

"J-jeez what a pain. All I wanted to do was beat up the old man to teach him a lesson or two." Boruto crossed his arms. "Fine… I guess I can accept defeat for now."

"How gracious of you." Given the permanent deadpan, it was always hard to tell if Yomi was being sarcastic or genuine, so Boruto decided to interpret as genuine to soothe his own ego.

"Well of course," Boruto rubbed his nose. "So… What now?"

"First we locate all of our family who used your time travel jump to try and hide their own." Yomi started playing around on his phone. "Then we all go home."

"What're you doing? Scanning for tracking devices that the old man put inside us all?"

"Father never did anything of the sort."

"W-well…"

"It was Lala-san. Also the trackers are not that accurate so will not be much use."

"Oh…" Boruto paled, making a mental note to try and find and remove the tracker planted on him. "So are you booking a hotel or something for us to stay in?"

"Not yet. First I am uploading the video of you being beaten up by Hanabi-san to a drone that will go back to the future to show it to Adon-neesama."

"W-why?!"

"Adon-neesama said you would probably do a lot of stupid things and I should film them for her amusement. Also, she requested I get as many snacks from a list she provided as possible."

"Tch… Those dad-cons really hate me." Boruto slumped.

"Don't sell yourself short. I believe at least 90% of the devilukian prince and princesses have a grudge against you for various reasons."

"Jeez… thanks… I feel much better." Boruto rolled his eyes at the smaller, yet older half sibling stood beside him.

"I apologise. That was not my intention."

"…I hate you."

"I know."