The Bravest Soldier

He hears them talking behind his back.

"He'll never be a soldier.", they say. "He'll never be a Time Lord.", they add. And he hears it all. He hears it because in the dark of the night, as he rests in his bed too scared to fall asleep because there is something under his bed, the only thing he can do is listen.

So he listens, and he hears. They talk about wars and soldiers and weapons and he doesn't like the sound of any of those things.

(He also hears someone breathing when he's alone in the room, and noises like someone's scratching the walls and if he concentrates really hard he can hear something banging but he chooses not to focus on that.)

He wants to travel time and space, going wherever he wants whenever he wants. He wants to meet people and save civilisations and never ever ever be alone because when you're alone you start talking to yourself and what if someone's listening?

He doesn't want to hold a gun, let alone use it. He doesn't want to hurt or maim or seriously injure; or injure at all, for that matter. He doesn't want to break things; he wants to fix them.

He wants to be a Doctor.

He wants to laugh and to love and he wants to not be bored because he's got all the time and space under his fingertips, he can feel it in his blood.

But there's this fear he has; the fear of the dark. Because he knows he knows he knows that there is something under his bed.

So one night, he cries - he cries every night, actually, because the dark is big and scary and when he becomes a Time Lord he will make sure that he is never in the dark again - and as he goes to get up, he puts his feet on the floor and a hand grabs his ankle.

He can't find it in himself to scream.

But there is something in the darkness under his bed.

The voice is soft, though. So soft and it tells him that it's a dream - just a dream - and that he should go to bed and fall asleep.

So he does that. But, as he covers himself with his blanket, he starts crying again.

Suddenly, just as a hand grabbed his ankle, a hand comes to caress his hair and it gives him an odd sense of comfort.

The voice tells him about fear and how it's a super power. It tells him how fear will never make him cruel or cowardly, how fear will make him kind.

That fear makes companions of us all.

He wants that. He wants to never be cruel or cowardly. He wants to never give up, never give in. He wants to be kind. He wants to have a companion so he wouldn't be alone with fear. He doesn't want weapons. He wants a screwdriver. He doesn't want something that'll break things; he wants something that will fix them.

He wants to be a Doctor, and he realises he has found a name he wants to choose - a promise he wants to make.

In the morning, he wakes up and there's a toy standing next to his bed. The toy surprises him, but then he remembers last night and the event he began to believe was a dream. But, apparently it was oh-so real, because the voice told him it will leave him something. And it did. It left him a toy soldier. The bravest soldier of them all.

A soldier without a gun.

Now, that's a kind of soldier he'd be okay with becoming.