*Hello everyone! During this very challenging time across the globe, I think the best thing I can do to lift your spirits is to continue writing "Hidden Lives". Please be safe and shout out to all my fans around the world! *

*Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters portrayed by Ralph Finnes & Embeth Davidtz in the movie "Schindler's List" and is purely fiction. I do not support Nazi ideology. *

Chapter 28: Exposé

There's a great fear of the imagination. It's a dangerous thing. It's out of control, it's subversive.

– Ursula K. Le Guin

Helen walks towards the window and observes the city. There is a palpable grey sensation across Vienna. She looks down the street and observes the grief-stricken Viennese walking with their black armbands on. It's been months since the Führer's state funeral took place, but his spirit continues to haunt the Empire he left behind.

'No one cried for my people as they were massacred…'

Not surprisingly, Helen feels no emotion towards the death of the tyrant. Nor does his death bring a sense of revenge or satisfaction. Helen's people have been dealing with the universal wrath towards them for centuries. Hitler's death will not stop the wheels of destruction from proceeding. The Third Reich lives on.

Helen steps away from the window and returns to her desk. She straightens her back and refocuses on her work; typing out manuscripts for Felix Goeth. Helen feels fortunate to have a new routine that allows her to ignore the intense mourning that is gripping Vienna. It wasn't long until she returned from Paris that Felix started taking Helen to his office to work on a part-time basis. Felix's long-time secretary, a jolly middle-aged lady named Angela, tutors and guides Helen.

As her fingers busily strikes the typewriter keys, Helen makes an educated guess that Felix might be the only other person in Vienna who isn't devastated by Hitler's demise. The possibility of his beloved Rose being murdered and his distaste towards the Commandant's life decisions certainly will place Felix Goeth as an anti-Nazi at heart.

'What will happen now?'

Helen ponders the question that is in everyone's head. The official announcement regarding Hitler's passing was 'due to the exhaustion resulted from over working for the citizens of the Third Reich'. The propaganda machine started almost immediately after Hitler took his last breath. He was transformed into a martyr, a saint, a mystical figure placed on the same pedestal as Jesus.

Choosing his burial place caused an enormous infighting among the high-ranking Nazi officials. Some wanted to bury Hitler in Berlin and build a shrine over his grave. Others suggested mummifying Hitler like what the Russians did with Lenin. In the end, Hitler was buried next to his beloved mother in Leonding, Austria. It wasn't long until the insignificant city became a Nazi pilgrimage site.

'I wonder how he is doing.'

Helen stops typing, leaving her finger freezing midair. An indescribable rush runs through Helen's body as his face appears in her mind. His mesmerizing blue eyes, his every touch that transmitted his deepest desires… and his lips. Helen feels her face fluster. She looks around, afraid someone might see her. Helen is glad to find Angela away from her desk.

Despite her best efforts, Helen catches herself thinking about that night in Paris at least once a day. Since working for the Commandant, she had an immense fear of being sexually violated by him. She would have chosen to be murdered rather than to lose her dignity as a woman. Her fear grew as they moved to Vienna, assuming without prying eyes the Commandant would have his way with her. But the opposite happened. Their intimacy grew into a form that was previously unimaginable.

Helen bites her lips. For months, Helen repeatedly questioned the Commandant's intension behind that passionate kiss. She is embarrassed to admit that he is the one to give her that special first kiss. As a little girl, she never imagined it would turn out the way it did.

Was it a sexual advance… or a romantic gesture?

Helen can still remember the odd sensation as his soft lips rubbed against hers. It was undoubtedly sensual. In times like this, Helen wishes she can take advice from an older female confidant. Although Helen is now a woman in her early 20s, she feels no better than a thirteen year old adolescent.

'If it wasn't for the national alarm in Paris…would we have gone further that night?'

Helen is aware that her mind and body has reached a point where it craves the experiences of real womanhood. Many girls her age would be considering marriage, some even already with their first child. But the death of her mother, the war… all the carnage blew the slightest chance of normalcy. For as long as she can remember, her sole purpose in life was to survive.

'Will I ever experience the simple joys of marriage? Motherhood?'

Helen plays with the pencil next to the typewriter, rolling it back and forth with the tip of her fingers.

'With him possibly?'

The pencil escapes Helen's hand, rolls across the desk and drops to the floor. The sound wakes Helen from the haze of fantasy.

'Ridiculous!'

Helen immediately feels sick to the stomach by her own twisted thoughts. It horrifies her that she allowed the door of the imagination to open up once more, just as she did back in the cottage.

'I'm living a mirage! Nothing changes who I am or who he is!'

Her own frame of mind deeply disturbs Helen. Staring down at her typewriter, Helen admits to herself that she can no longer continue with the day's work. She looks up at the clock to see its already 2 p.m. Helen decides to call it a day. She jumps up from her chair and starts clearing the desk, hoping to catch the 2:15 p.m. bus on time.

Helen walks out the front door of the building. She sighs and pins her black armband to the left coat sleeve.

'Again… living a mirage… false reality…'

Helen pulls her handbag strap up and secures it on her right shoulder. She hastily walks down the street while keeping her head down. As she turns the corner, an automobile drives up in front of Felix Goeth's office building. After the engine is turned off, Amon takes a moment before leaving the car. Since learning the news of the Führer's death, Amon doesn't even remember how time passed. His days were full of absorbing the massive change within the Nazi party, newly appointed responsibilities and planning on rearrangements of his living quarters. A new secure district within Vienna was established to move most of the high-ranking Nazi officers and families. Everyone was on high alert on the possibility of another terrorist attack. On top of his other duties, Amon has been quietly looking for a new villa to purchase in the recommended district. With everything in disarray, Amon craves stability. And for that he needs Helen.

Stepping out of his car, Amon feels slightly nervous about encountering Helen. They haven't seen each other since arriving in Vienna from Paris and going their separate ways at the train station. He heard from Liesl about Helen's part-time position at the company. The news heightened Amon's territorialism towards his father once more.

'She's mine.'

But is she?

Amon hesitates before entering the front door. His heart pounds at the thought of Helen being somewhere in the building. Amon quickly adjusts his cap and smooths out his uniform. As Amon reaches his father's office on the second floor, his anticipation along with the anxiety of seeing Helen's face grows rapidly.

"Herr Goeth! Welcome," Angela says, getting up from her chair.

"Hello, good to see you again," Amon responds. He looks around and quickly spots Helen's new desk right next to Angela's. Amon walks closer to her desk, swearing to himself that he can detect her delicate scent.

"How… is she doing?"

"Ah, Fräulein Nowak? She's been wonderful. Unfortunately, you missed her by a few seconds. She left early today."

Amon feels his heart sink. Just as he tries to figure out how to exit the premise politely, the phone on Angela's desk rings. She listens and nods.

"Your father would like to see you."

Rats.

There was no fooling Felix Goeth when one enters his territory. His antennas went up and detected everything. With his original plan of meeting Helen being foiled, Amon drags himself towards his father's office. As usual, Felix continues to concentrate on his work at his desk as his son enters.

"How are you father?"

"I assume you came to see Lena," Felix replies without looking up.

"How is she doing? Work wise?" Amon asks.

"Brilliant. She's a fast learner."

Amon feels proud hearing that statement.

"I'm in the process of finding our new home. They are creating a new restricted area for the officers. It won't be long until Lena…"

"She isn't safe," Felix finally looks up, cutting his son mid-sentence.

His father's sharp gaze agitates Amon.

"She will be safe with me. I'll make sure of that."

"Is that what she wants?"

"I did make arrangements for her to leave. But she chose to stay. She is pretty adamant about it."

"Why would anyone choose to be with you?"

Amon can't stand the humiliation anymore.

"I could ask the same of you, father."

The two men lock in an intense glare.

"Which inadequacy are you judging me with?"

His father's word lights something within Amon. He fights back the urge to spill all the resentment he had harbored out in the open. Which of Felix's failure should he start with? As a father, husband and brother?

All that has become the origins of my misery.

Felix can read the hate across his son's face. The past is too difficult, long and complicated to explain. Felix had hoped that Leopold would mature in time and gain clearer perception of the past. However, it seems time has only allowed the animosity between father and son to grow.

'When is this blame game going to end...'

"Are you ready to face the truth?"

Amon is taken aback by his father's words.

"Will you accept the truth when presented with it?"

Amon is too stunned to respond.

'What truth? What does he mean?'

Felix slowly rises from his chair and heads towards the enormous black safe cabinet placed in the corner of the office. Amon has seen the safe cabinet since childhood but never got the opportunity to look inside. He watches his father quietly as he spins the dial a few times. With a loud thunk its door unlocks.

When Felix finally returns to his desk, Amon notices him carrying an object wrapped in brown paper. Felix slides the object across his desk towards his son.

"Open it," Felix says.

Amon stares down at the object and carefully reaches forward. As he unwraps the brown paper off the object, Amon realizes it's a book. He finds it odd that there is no title on the cover. Amon opens the book to its first page.

The Berlin Affair

Felix silently watches his son's eyes widen in shock.

"How did you get this?" Amon asks, his voice trembling.

'Or more so... why did you get this?'

"I have my methods," Felix answers coolly.

"Arrest me if you like. Although I must say, that book was worth the risk. I'm sure you will be interested in its content as well."

Amon stares down at the book. Reading this book, Amon himself will be breaking the law. Will his curiosity get the best of him? What type of truth does this book conceal?

Amon flips a few pages until he comes across the book's dedication.

For my Mony

A stinging pain hits Amon's heart and his eyes brim with tears. He feels ten years old again.

'He did keep his promise!'

Standing in the corner of the building across from Felix's office, Ernst quietly watches as Amon Goeth exits the building. He sneers at the thought of Amon missing Lena by a minute.

'Hope you stay away forever.'

After seeing Amon drive off in his automobile, Ernst lights a cigarette. It nearly drove him insane when he wasn't able to track Lena Nowak down for months. Not only did Amon Goeth survive another terrorist attack, he was able to shelter or smuggle Lena out of plain sight. As his assignments have been regulated due to his injuries, Ernst found it challenging to trace Lena's whereabouts. To his surprise, she was with Felix and Leisl Goeth.

'It won't be long until everything changes.'

DALF was not going to ignore the golden opportunity that Hitler's death brought to them. As much as the Nazi Party tried to keep the empire in order, internally they were a mess. Surprisingly, the Nazi party was completely unprepared for the moment of the Führer's unanticipated death. Hitler left no official will, as if he assumed himself to be immortal. Appointing his official successor continues to be a hot debate among the high-ranking officials back in Berlin.

Where there is chaos is opportunity.

Ernst lights up a second cigarette and strokes the scar on his cheek.

Fuck

Peter specifically ordered him to be discreet in his daytime movements. But Ernst is tired of working in the shadows. He hopes to be part of the action. More importantly, Ernst is tempted to approach Lena in a personal level. Disobedience isn't Ernst's trait. But just for once, he yearns to be close to her in any capacity.

'Soon...'

A strange smile rises on Ernst's face.