"Sitcom Royal Rumble"
Rated T for mild language and violence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment, Total Nonstop Action, or sitcoms associated with ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Disney, Nickelodeon or TBS. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do this for fun and amusement. So enjoy!
However, right before we go to the final chapter, let's see the stats once again!
Wow, I can't believe we finally got our final eight men! I'm so excited about this one. Before I close out this chapter, let's see the stats now!
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson, Mike Seaver, Beck Oliver, Julius Rock, Eric Forman, Gilligan, Howard Wolowitz, Zack Morris, Bull Shannon, Maxwell Sheffield, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Shawn Hunter, Fez, Austin Moon, Marshall Eriksen, Dan Fielding, Liv Rooney, Norm, Bud Bundy, Eddie Winslow, Mike Biggs, Carl McMillan, Danny Tanner, Alan Harper, Carl Winslow, Steven Hyde, Michael Kelso, Theo Huxtable, Balki Bartakamous, Cody Lambert, Jason Seaver, Ray Barone (never entered), The Fonz and Judge Harry T. Stone
In the ring: Al Bundy, Dr. Cliff Huxtable, Jake Harper, Leonard Hofstadter, Logan Watson, Steve Urkel, Ted Mosby, and Tyler James
Entrants in the ring: 8
Longest time spent in the ring so far: Steve Urkel (Over 50 minutes now)
Shortest time spent in the ring: Howard Wolowitz (0:01.8 seconds)
Most people eliminated: Tyler James (10)
Chapter 15: The Grand Finale
Already ignoring the loud boos from the New York audience, Cliff Huxtable finally got in the ring...
...
...
...only to be fed a dropkick from Jake Harper!
Jerry Lawler: Looks like Cliff Huxtable isn't feeling very welcome after that!
JBL: I still don't get why they're booing him! It isn't right, I'll tell ya!
Michael Cole: Well, they are vocal after all!
That dropkick didn't seem to bother Cliff though, as it had no effect.
Getting up, Jake managed to run over the ropes and hit Cliff with another dropkick. This time, the second time became the charm, knocking him back a bit. Suddenly, the boos that were directed over to Cliff were gone away, replaced by cheers directed to Jake.
Jerry Lawler: Well, that knocked him back a bit!
With Cliff Huxtable feeling a little groggy, Jake managed to run back to the ropes, hoping to clothesline him over the top and onto the floor.
But the doctor managed to duck, which forced Jake to fly over instead and land on the floor instead! Therefore, the boos directed at Cliff were brought back again with just that one move!
JBL: Well, that wasn't enough for Jake. He's out of there!
Michael Cole: Tough luck for Jake Harper.
43rd Eliminated: Jake Harper; Eliminated by: Cliff Huxtable; Duration: 3:20
Shaking some nerves off from that dropkick, Ted Mosby was trying hard to get Leonard Hofstadter with a Jackhammer suplex.
Suddenly, Cliff Huxtable found a chair laying beneath his feet. With sudden precaution, Cliff sent the chair slamming on Ted Mosby's back! And then, it was followed by another one!
Jerry Lawler: Oh geez-!
JBL: That sound is enough to make your ears bleed at the least!
Michael Cole: No kidding! You can ever hear Ted's back crack from that impact.
The sound of a chairshot was more than enough to keep Ted Mosby down.
It kept him down so much that Cliff Huxtable took Ted Mosby's beaten down body and sent him over the top rope and down to the floor.
JBL: I can't believe this. Cliff just eliminated one of his fellow New Yorkers!
Jerry Lawler: Yeah. There goes the hometown advantage!
44th Eliminated: Ted Mosby; Eliminated by: Cliff Huxtable; Duration: 4:41
The boos kept on increasing for Cliff. And so did chants of 'sex abuser', as well. No matter how hard Cliff tried to drown out these chants, the boos kept getting louder.
Meanwhile, Logan Watson had carried Tyler James on his shoulders, looking to set him down with Shell-Shocked. With the lady killer trying to break free from Logan's grasp, the blonde haired-idiot ran to the ring and dropped him on the mat painfully!
Jerry Lawler: *chuckling* Look at this! Logan got him with the Shell Shocked!
JBL: Eh, Ryback did it better. His was a little weaker to begin with.
With Tyler down and out, Logan decided it was time to take out the trash.
As he pulled Tyler's glorious manly brunette locks, Logan began pushing him over the top rope...
...
...
...only for Tyler to reverse whip Logan instead, therefore sending him over the ropes and onto the floor instead!
JBL: A-ha! Look at him, what an idiot!
Michael Cole: That was very unfortunate for Logan!
Jerry Lawler: And now he's out! Talk about karma!
45th Eliminated: Logan Watson; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 2:10
After Logan's departure, there was in fact another elimination going on.
This time, it was Al Bundy, as he was looking to push Urkel off the apron and head straight for elimination! He managed to get the nerd down, but with only one push of his foot, he could get the job done.
Jerry Lawler: Uh-oh, Urkel's about to go over!
JBL: That nerd's been in there for almost a full hour! Too bad his time may be looking to go up!
Al Bundy: *to Urkel* Away with you, nerd!
Steve Urkel: *to Al* From my dead body you will, stinky-foot!
Urkel however, noticed his tie hanging from his shirt. In a desperation move, Urkel pulled on Al Bundy's tie, therefore pulling the Shoe Salesman over the top rope.
Urkel kept on pulling him again, over and over until Al tumbled down to the floor, eliminating him in surprising fashion!
JBL: Can't believe it! The nerd eliminated Al Bundy!
Jerry Lawler: I'm surprised Urkel could do that!
Michael Cole: I think Al's surprised about it either!
46th Eliminated: Al Bundy; Eliminated by: Steve Urkel; Duration: 23:38
So far, Urkel managed to save himself once more.
But before he could at least take time to cool off, Leonard came in and superkicked Urkel off the apron, eliminating the longest-lasting competitor in the match!
JBL: Oh well, bye bye Urkel!
Jerry Lawler: Poor Urkel! He almost made it all the way to the end!
Michael Cole: You gotta give it up for Urkel though! He lasted a long time!
47th Eliminated: Steve Urkel; Eliminated by: Leonard Hofstadter; Duration: 57:49
As both Urkel and Al left ringside dejected. The last three men all faced off against each other, much to the fans delight.
It all came down to Leonard, Cliff and Tyler. Suddenly, both chants of 'Let's Go Leonard' and 'Lets Go Tyler' came out simultaneously. Apparently, they didn't want the 'sex abuser' known as Cliff Huxtable to win this whole thing permanently.
Jerry Lawler: This crowd's looking fired up as ever!
Michael Cole: I agree! It's all come down to three men!
JBL: One of them's gonna be crowned the Sitcom Royal Rumble winner!
After several minutes of facing off against one another, both Tyler and Leonard decided to gang up on Cliff Huxtable altogether. They were hammering him down, much to the anticipated crowd's pleasure. They must really hate Cliff Huxtable, even in his hometown in New York City.
With Cliff Huxtable roughed up, the two men whipped Cliff to the left corner turnbuckle, followed by a running elbow from Tyler.
Michael Cole: What a shot right to the face!
Jerry Lawler: Definitely a smart move to go after the most hated man here!
As Cliff was stunned for a brief minute, Tyler went down on all fours.
However, that was followed by Leonard hopping on Tyler's back and nailing Cliff with a Poetry of Motion heel kick!
JBL: Hey, Poetry of Motion!
Jerry Lawler: That definitely reminds me of someone I know for sure!
While Cliff was stunned once again, Leonard went up the top rope just as Tyler wrapped him by the neck with a Twist of Fate.
But before he could actually hit it, Cliff pushed Tyler to the ropes, which sent Leonard down on the turnpost! The fans had no choice but to cringe immediately because of this.
Michael Cole: My lord, that hurts!
Jerry Lawler: Talk about getting your atoms crushed!
JBL: His atoms are not gonna be the same again.
With Leonard trapped on the turnpost, Cliff recovered in time to knock the nerd off the turnpost, and down to the floor, eliminating him from this match. Unfortunately for the fans, they didn't like it one bit. Cliff hardly cared about what they thought though.
Jerry Lawler: Oh no, Leonard's out!
Michael Cole: He came very close for sure!
JBL: Well, close doesn't count in this Rumble as far as I'm concerned!
48th Eliminated: Leonard Hofstadter; Eliminated by: Cliff Huxtable; Duration: 8:20
It now came down to both Cliff and Tyler. By then, the crowd's chants were now directed at Tyler. Even his girlfriend Nikki looked very tense from this battle. She didn't even know if she wanted to watch, but she had to see Tyler win this, no matter how bad he was getting beat up.
Which by the way, Tyler was doing just that when he got hit by a high knee from Cliff!
Michael Cole: What a hard knee!
Jerry Lawler: The hardest I've ever seen!
However, while Tyler was down, Cliff pulled something from the pocket of his pants.
Apparently, that object just happened to be a pair of brass knuckles. It was very clear that Cliff would be willing to go so far to get the victory.
JBL: Uh-oh, I think Cliff's got himself some battle armor there!
Jerry Lawler: This is not gonna be good!
Michael Cole: I definitely don't like Tyler's chances now!
As he got Tyler to his knees, Cliff clenched in his fist full of knucks.
With the force of a big rig, he sent that fist crashing through Tyler's face. The boos directed at Cliff definitely increased with one bloodthristy punch after another.
Jerry Lawler: There's no way Tyler's gonna come back from something like this!
JBL: He might as well throw him out of the ring!
Cliff wasn't done with Tyler just yet.
While Tyler's body was still rendered motionless from that brass knuckles shot, Cliff scooped the youngster up by his feet, and then, he lifted him up and slammed him down with a powerbomb!
Michael Cole: A huge powerbomb.
Jerry Lawler: Why doesn't Cliff just eliminate him and get this over with?
JBL: I think he still wants to add insult to injury!
There was no way Tyler was gonna win with those shots connected to him.
That's why Nikki decided enough was enough by hopping over the barricade and standing right on the apron.
JBL: Hey hey, what is she doing here!
Jerry Lawler: Apparently, Nikki had enough of Cliff to begin with!
Seeing Nikki on top of the apron, Cliff set Tyler down so she could focus on her.
Even though Cliff couldn't understand what Nikki was saying due to the language, he knew fighting words when he heard them.
Nikki Ortiz: *to Cliff* Dejas Tyler, perra chupa budín! No intentes hacer mi novio sangra así, un ** agujero! [1]
Michael Cole: Well, that was family-friendly.
Jerry Lawler: Yeah, just not in that case for PG audiences!
Not impressed by Nikki's threats, Cliff started to yank her hair and pull her inside the ring!
Suddenly, the fans all reacted in shock, giving out a 'No! No! No' chant directed to Cliff. Somehow, Cliff was about to do the impossible, threatening to hit Nikki right in the face with the brass knucks. He was thinking about it.
But he was gonna do it anyway.
Jerry Lawler: Come on, somebody stop this!
Michael Cole: This is too much! Somebody's gotta help her!
JBL: She's a human being for crying out loud!
But before Cliff could slug Nikki with the knucks...
...
...
...Tyler came in and grabbed Cliff's arm just in time. Looking pissed off from this scene, Tyler game Cliff a few threats of his own.
Tyler James: *angrily to Cliff* No one... lays a hand... on my girlfriend, pal!
Using every ounce of strength he has left, Tyler kicked Cliff right in the gut and connected with a Stone Cold Stunner! To add insult to injury, Cliff sold the move very well, backflipping to the mat!
Jerry Lawler: Stone Cold Stunner! Tyler nailed it!
Michael Cole: What an impossible Stunner that was!
JBL: I never seen anyone pull off a stunner like that in my life.
With Cliff stumbling to the ropes, Tyler decided to pull off the coup de grace.
Getting right back up, Tyler connected with an explosive dropkick that sent Cliff over the top and onto the floor, resulting in a thunderous ovation and the win!
49th and FINAL Elimination: Cliff Huxtable; Eliminated by: Tyler James; Duration: 8:12
People were ecstatic! They were out of control! They were nearly about to start of riot of victory!
And as Nikki brought Tyler up to his feet and patting his back, the announcer announced the winner.
The Fink: Ladies and gentleman, the winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble... Tyler Jaaaaaaaaaames!
As Tyler smiled upon Nikki, the rest of the James-Jennings family (Avery, Chloe, Bennett, Ellen) and Stan all came out from the entrance stage while a row of confetti had showered down upon the Sitcom Royal Rumble winner.
JBL: I don't know why that kid did it, but he did it!
Jerry Lawler: And after all that kid has been through, he made it all the way!
And what was a victory without a victory kiss from the damsel!?
As he was celebrating, Nikki planted one passionate kiss on Tyler, which got the fans going 'ooh' one bit. And while he was returning the kiss to Nikki, Michael Cole stepped out of the commentators booth and got in the ring, having to speak with the winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble.
Michael Cole: Tyler James, you have been crowned the first-ever winner of the Sitcom Royal Rumble and you are going home with million dollars. Tyler, how does it feel right now!
Tyler James: *to Michael* First off, I want to thank Nikki, Avery, Chloe, mom, dad, Stan, and all the people down at Pasadena for making this possible! I wish I had more to say except... I'M GOING TO FRICKIN' DISNEYLAND!
With his speech coming to light, Tyler continued to celebrate the win with the rest of the family, therefore closing out the show altogether
Michael Cole: Ladies and gentleman, there you have it! Tyler James, the winner of the first-ever Sitcom Royal Rumble!
Jerry Lawler: I gotta say this has been a blast! We laughed, we cried, we saw blood, tears and all of the above!
JBL: I feel excited too! What a hell of an event this was!
Michael Cole: And thank you for watching fans! For Jerry "The King" Lawler and JBL, I'm Michael Cole saying so long from the Sitcom Royal Rumble! Good night, everybody!
[1] - "You let Tyler go, you pudding-sucking bitch! You don't try to make my boyfriend bleed like that, you a**hole!"
I can't believe after all this time, I finally got the whole thing done and over with. Yeah, I figured Tyler deserved it since Dog With A Blog was gonna be done after the third season, but I think it was about time that he deserved the glory for once. What did you think of the winner? And what did you think of the outcome? Either way, I love to hear it. So far, here are the stats for the final time.
Eliminated: Dez Wade, Martin Payne, Leroy T. Brown, George Costanza, A.C. Slater, Pops Williams, Bob Duncan, Barney Stinson, Mike Seaver, Beck Oliver, Julius Rock, Eric Forman, Gilligan, Howard Wolowitz, Zack Morris, Bull Shannon, Maxwell Sheffield, Red Forman, Sheldon Cooper, Shawn Hunter, Fez, Austin Moon, Marshall Eriksen, Dan Fielding, Liv Rooney, Norm, Bud Bundy, Eddie Winslow, Mike Biggs, Carl McMillan, Danny Tanner, Alan Harper, Carl Winslow, Steven Hyde, Michael Kelso, Theo Huxtable, Balki Bartakamous, Cody Lambert, Jason Seaver, Ray Barone (never entered), The Fonz, Judge Harry T. Stone, Jake Harper, Ted Mosby, Logan Watson, Al Bundy, Steve Urkel, Leonard Hofstadter and Dr. Cliff Huxtable
WINNER: Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)
Entrants in the ring: 8
Longest time spent in the ring so far: Steve Urkel (57 minutes)
Shortest time spent in the ring: Howard Wolowitz (0:01.8 seconds)
Most people eliminated: Tyler James (12)
Entrants in order:
1. Steve Urkel (Family Matters)
2. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)
3. Dez Wade (Austin & Ally)
4. Martin Payne (Martin)
5. George Costanza (Seinfeld)
6. Eric Forman (That 70's Show)
7. Bob Duncan (Good Luck Charlie)
8. Leroy T. Brown (Meet The Browns)
9. Beck Oliver (Victorious)
10. A.C. Slater (Saved By The Bell)
11. Mike Seaver (Growing Pains)
12. Austin Moon (Austin & Ally)
13. Liv Rooney (Liv and Maddie)
14. Pops Williams (The Wayans Bros.)
15. Red Forman (That 70s Show)
16. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
17. Julius Rock (Everybody Hates Chris)
18. Zack Morris (Saved By The Bell)
19. Bull Shannon (Night Court)
20. Tyler James (Dog With A Blog)
21. Carl McMillan (Mike & Molly)
22. Gilligan (Gilligan's Island)
23. Howard Wolowitz (The Big Bang Theory)
24. Eddie Winslow (Family Matters)
25. Bud Bundy (Married... With Children)
26. Maxwell Sheffield (The Nanny)
27. Shawn Hunter (Boy Meets World)
28. Dan Fielding (Night Court)
29. Fez (That 70s Show)
30. Marshall Eriksen (How I Met Your Mother)
31. Theo Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
32. Al Bundy (Married... With Children)
33. Steven Hyde (That 70s Show)
34. Danny Tanner (Full House)
35. Mike Biggs (Mike & Molly)
36. Carl Winslow (Family Matters)
37. Norm (Cheers)
38. The Fonz (Happy Days)
39. Cody Lambert (Step By Step)
40. Alan Harper (Two And A Half Men)
41. Michael Kelso (That 70's Show)
42. Balki Bartakamous (Perfect Strangers)
43. Jason Seaver (Growing Pains)
44. Judge Harry T. Stone (Night Court)
45. Ray Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
46. Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother)
47. Jake Harper (Two And A Half Men)
48. Leonard Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory)
49. Logan Watson (I Didn't Do It)
50. Dr. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
Eliminations in order:
1. Dez Wade (by Sheldon)
2. Martin Payne (by Eric Forman)
3. Leroy T. Brown (by Costanza)
4. George Costanza (by Urkel & Sheldon)
5. A.C. Slater (by Austin)
6. Pops Williams (by Mike Seaver)
7. Bob Duncan (by Austin & Liv)
8. Barney Stinson (by Liv)
9. Mike Seaver (by Austin)
10. Beck Oliver (by Tyler)
11. Julius Rock (by Eric & Red Forman)
12. Eric Forman (by Red Forman)
13. Gilligan (eliminated himself)
14. Howard Wolowitz (by Tyler)
15. Zack Morris (?)
16. Bull Shannon (by Urkel, Eddie, Sheldon, Tyler, Austin & Liv)
17. Maxwell Sheffield (by Austin)
18. Red Forman (by Tyler)
19. Sheldon Cooper (by Eddie)
20. Shawn Hunter (by Marshall)
21. Fez (by Tyler)
22. Austin Moon (by Liv)
23. Marshall Eriksen (by Tyler)
24. Dan Fielding (by Mike Biggs & Carl)
25. Liv Rooney (by Hyde)
26. Norm (by Mike Biggs & Carl)
27. Bud Bundy (by Tyler)
28. Eddie Winslow (by Tyler)
29. Mike Biggs (by The Fonz)
30. Carl McMillan (by The Fonz)
31. Danny Tanner (by The Fonz)
32. Alan Harper (by Kelso)
33. Carl Winslow (by Al Bundy)
34. Steven Hyde (by Kelso)
35. Michael Kelso (by Hyde)
36. Theo Huxtable (by Tyler)
37. Balki Bartakamous (by Tyler)
38. Cody Lambert (by Ted Mosby)
39. Jason Seaver (by Judge Stone)
40. Ray Barone (never entered)
41. The Fonz (by Al Bundy)
42. Judge Harry T. Stone (Urkel & Al Bundy)
43. Jake Harper (Dr. Huxtable)
44. Ted Mosby (Dr. Huxtable)
45. Logan Watson (by Tyler)
46. Al Bundy (by Urkel)
47. Steve Urkel (by Leonard)
48. Leonard Hofstadter (by Dr. Huxtable)
49. Dr. Cliff Huxtable (by Tyler)
Just to let you know, we still haven't known only two things from this.
Did we miss Zack Morris's elimination?
And what about the disappearance of Uncle Jesse from "Full House" in this Rumble, even though he was shown only in the pre-show. Who knows? Maybe it's just some kind of family emergency at the last minute, or he was just replaced by one of the contestants. Either way, we'll never know.
I hope you all enjoyed this Sitcom Royal Rumble! Until next time, UltimateWarriorFan4Ever, signing off!