PRESENT DAY

Maura

The sheets were warm but the air blowing in from the windows was frosting the glass. Maura tucked herself further between the sheets as the first chill of September crept through the windowpane of Jane's apartment. Desperately, Maura wished to reach out, to cling to Jane and absorb her warmth. But she didn't dare. Their relationship was still young. Relationship being the optimal word here. They had been spending the night for months doing things that people typically do in relationships. But Jane and Maura weren't typical. The relationship part was only a few weeks old. The other part? They were pros.

Resolute in the wall Maura was desperate to keep up, to keep herself strong, to keep herself from being hurt by Jane's unexpected outbursts, she turned her body away from Jane and toward the window. You are strong. You can keep yourself warm. Maura willed herself to sleep again. She wanted to feel Jane so badly her stomach clenched at the notion. But she would have to wait. She would not rush things with Jane. She wanted them to work more than she had wanted anything before. Maura still had an hour before her alarm would go off.

Jane

She could feel Maura's hand cross the expanse between them. Jane was awake and waiting to feel any stirring from the blonde. Jane wanted to hold her, to feel Maura's warmth, to reassure her. She waited for Maura's hand to make contact. It never did. Jane felt Maura retreat and soon after, turn away completely. You did this, Rizzoli. Jane couldn't help but blame herself. She's pulling away because she doesn't want to put up with your bullshit anymore! A few weeks and you've already ruined it!

Jane's heart began to race; she knew she had to fix this. She wanted them to work more than she had wanted anything before. But not if you keep screwing it up! True, they were good at the sex part. They had been since that first night. It was like they were made for each other. Their bodies intertwined easily, finding rhythm and harmony in each other's form. But the relationship part was more difficult. Jane was awkward when she was in public with Maura. The only time she was normal was on the job. She was normal because at crime scenes and at BPD, she was still straight. And so was Maura. It was easy to maintain the ruse. Jane didn't have to face the glaring truth she tried so desperately to keep a secret. But in public, Jane wreathed in discomfort. Their date last night had confirmed it.

EIGHT HOURS AGO

"Thank you for dinner, Jane." Maura smiled up at the brunette. Her cobalt blue dress accentuated her curves and her eyes. Jane could hardly keep herself from taking Maura into the bathroom in the middle of the meal to rip it off of her. But everything about this night was awkward. The only thing Jane could focus on long enough to hold a decent conversation, was Maura. Jane couldn't find her confidence anywhere in the romantic, very public, setting. She wanted to be better. For Maura. Going to a restaurant together had been a big deal for her, Jane wanted to give that to her. Nevertheless, everything about the evening had Jane's skin crawling with suspicion. Maybe catholic guilt is a real thing. Jane thought to herself as she took deep, shaky breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Jane smiled without looking at her date. "Do you want to walk?" Jane pointed out onto the pier, her eyes darting quickly to Maura. Jane's heart was racing and she didn't know why. Walking will help; the cool air, it'll be good for you. Jane talked herself down from the panic attack her body was desperate to have. Every relationship prior to this had never been so serious so quickly. When Maura suggested they go for dinner, to a real restaurant, with people, Jane noticeably blanched. Jane knew Maura was her first real girlfriend. This could actually go somewhere. Jane thought. And she was terrified because of it, terrified of screwing up, terrified of hurting Maura, terrified of losing her and most of all, terrified of having to confess that she was actually falling for a woman. For real. Being in public, meant Jane would have to face her commitment demons.

"Sure," Maura beamed.

They stepped onto the pier, their steps making the satisfying hollow clacking from a wooden dock suspended over water. The noise quieted Jane's mind, if only briefly. Maura reached for Jane's hand. She didn't ask. She didn't look at Jane. She just did it. Jane gulped, her mouth suddenly dry. Everything's fine. Jane chanted to herself. Their fingers intertwined. Jane felt every eye on them suddenly and oppressively. She gripped Maura's hand a little tighter hoping to convince herself that everything was okay. They walked in silence. Maura was taking in the night, content to watch the nightlife from a distance. Jane was trying to keep from a panic attack.

Steamboats and cargo ships crossed haphazardly in front of them when they reached the end of the pier. Jane found her opportunity to release Maura's hand as she crossed her arms in front of her body to lean on the wooden rails marking the end of the walkway. Jane watched the ships cross in front of her, bringing cargo to the next port. Distract yourself, there you go. What an excellent date you are, Rizzoli. Jane ran a frustrated hand through her hair exhaling loudly.

"Jane," Maura reached out, putting a hand on Jane's side. Her tone was soft, questioning, supportive, and most of all, hopeful. It nearly killed Jane to hear it. Jane maneuvered away from her touch. She crossed her arms over her abdomen, then dropped them to her sides, then pushed away unruly hair, then crossed them over her midsection once again. Words raced through her mind. She tried to pick out just one. Something! Jane's mind screamed as it searched frantically for anything to say, something to use to apologize for her behavior.

Maura waited.

"Maura, I'm sorry." Her tone was not sorry.

Maura waited still.

"I don't know if I can do this." Jane finally turned around to face the blonde.

"I don't understand," Maura couldn't find any other words to say.

"How do you not care what other people with think?"

"What do you mean?"

"Being out. In public. Together. It's…weird."

"No, it's not. There are plenty of gay couples out in public. It's not the 1800's, Jane."

Jane rolled her eyes, giving Maura her frequently used exasperated look. The one she was so fond of giving Maura during cases when she spouted off random fun facts or didn't know a pop culture reference.

"It's different for me, okay?"

"How is it different for you?" Maura was closing the distance between them.

"I don't know. It's harder for me. I feel like I'm going to turn a corner and see my Ma holding a shopping bag and we're going to be there…holding hands."

"I thought you wanted this." Maura gestured between them. "You came to me when I didn't want anything to do with a relationship. What we had before was…it was fine."

"And we ended it!"

"We were taking a break," Maura dismissed.

Another Jane-look of exasperation.

"Fine. We ended it. But that doesn't mean we couldn't have made it work again. Studies show that – "

"We're not a study, Maura!"

"Why are you so angry?"

"Because I'm terrified!"

"Of being seen with me?" They were shouting. People were staring as they walked by. Neither Jane nor Maura could see them.

"No, of feeling like I'm going to hurt you. Feeling like I'm jumping into something I've never done before. Of…realizing…" Jane trailed off, brushing a hand across her nose. A sign of discomfort.

"Of realizing what?"

"Of realizing that I'm falling in love with you!" As soon as the words passed across her lips, Jane slammed her hand across her mouth, her eyes wide. Maura didn't move. Or speak. Jane held her hand to her mouth trying to keep any other confessions from spilling out. Tears swelled in her eyes uncontrollably. Shit, shit, shit. Don't leave me, Maura. God, please don't leave me.

Moments drifted between them like molasses. Silence filled their space. They didn't speak for much longer than convention allowed. Then Maura finally moved, stepping forward into Jane's space. Jane was immobile as she leaned back against the railing. Maura's eyes met hers wholly, seemingly to see all of Jane all at once. A small smile crept onto Maura's lips as she looked up into Jane's brown eyes. The hurt and anger previously shrouding her face was gone.

"I love you too."

Without question or hesitation, Jane's lips crashed onto Maura's. Her hands instantly connected with blonde hair, pulling Maura closer. Maura's response was immediate, gripping Jane's waist firmly, pulling Jane against her body. Tongues collided in a rush of passion.

PRESENT DAY

Jane could feel the cold creeping in from the window. Maura was as far away from her as she could possibly be and Jane knew that she had no intention of closing the gap between them. Not anymore. It was her turn. She said she loved you too, Rizzoli. Jane couldn't keep the smile from her face as she remembered the pier. The events that unfolded afterward were reminiscent of their early days together, the ones only spent in the throws of passion. Jane turned over to face Maura immediately as the thoughts came flooding back. In one fluid motion, Jane reached across the expanse between them, wrapped her arm around Maura's waist and pulled the woman against her body.

Maura squeaked in surprise at the sudden contact but instantly curled into Jane. Unbeknownst to one another, they smiled recklessly, finally giving in to what they so desperately wanted – each other. Jane nuzzled into Maura's neck, kissing any skin she could reach. Maura pressed against Jane, as chills ran through her body at the contact. Jane held her closer, feeling her contentment when Maura turned into Jane's caresses. Their eyes met only briefly before Maura closed the distance, covering Jane's lips with her own.

Jane's body ignited with her touch. Maura pushed away the edge of Jane's shirt, wanting to feel more. Breathing became ragged as Jane tugged at the hem of Maura's silk shorts. Slowly, Jane pushed a hand beneath the bottom of the shorts, lifting the fabric from Maura's skin and replacing it with her touch. Maura's efforts redoubled. Pulling Jane's shirt over her head, Maura granted herself access to more of the brunette. More skin to kiss. More skin to touch, to ignite. Maura began with the lips, then the cheek, the chin, the neck, the chest. She stopped when she reached Jane's breasts. Jane waited, her nipples erect, ready for Maura to proceed. Not a moment later, she did. Taking Jane into her mouth, Maura played diligently with Jane's most sensitive places. Jane moaned in ecstasy wanting more. Needing more.

"Fuck me…please." Jane begged between breaths. Maura's hand drifted south, wandering lazily toward the place she so desperately wanted to be. Then Maura's wandering hand halted and pushed Jane against the mattress instead, Maura lifted herself up to straddle her possessively. The blonde looked down at Jane below her, smiling ruthlessly. Jane smiled back, reaching up to pull at the fabric of Maura's shirt. Maura acquiesced, leaning forward to meet Jane's lips.

Maura found her opportunity. Slipping a hand beneath the band of Jane's boxers and panties, the blonde began to toy with Jane. The brunette arched into her touch, desperate for more. When Maura finally slipped through Jane's folds, slowly massaging her clit, Jane's moan echoed through the apartment. Jane's breath came fast as Maura's fingers explored Jane. Her fingers roamed further still, searching for the opening that would invite her in. When the blonde inserted her middle finger, Jane whimpered, her body responding immediately, needing more, seeking release. Maura pulsed her finger inside Jane, curling and extending it, making Jane feel everything. Jane's breathing became shallow, her moans louder. Maura pushed another finger into the woman beneath her and pumped her hand victoriously, matching the rhythm of Jane's body. Jane thrust her hips into Maura's hand unconsciously. When Maura unexpectedly leaned forward, taking Jane's nipple into her mouth and biting, Jane's orgasm exploded white hot through her body. The walls echoed with the sound of Maura bringing Jane to orgasm. Maura grinned proudly as her hand slowed, riding out Jane's bliss to its last shockwave. Jane's body relaxed completely against the mattress. Eager for contact, Jane's hand found Maura's leg and rested casually against it as her eyes shut in exhaustion. Maura cooed happily as Jane drifted to sleep.

By the time Jane awoke again, Maura was showered, dressed, and applying a level of makeup that Jane would never understand. You're beautiful the way you are. Jane smiled to herself at the thought. Reaching for her nightshirt, Jane lifted herself from the bed and padded into her closet to pick out her slacks and shirt for the day. Blue shirt, black pants? Sure, why not. Jane was tucking in her shirt when she finally met Maura in the bathroom. Jane wrapped her arms across Maura's middle, holding her tight.

"Good morning," Jane crooned against Maura's ear. Maura beamed at Jane through the mirror.

"Good morning,"

"Want to stop at Boston Joes?" Jane asked, stepping away from Maura's body and pulling the bottle of mousse from the cabinet under the sink.

"Are…are we driving in together?" Maura's curiosity piqued. She put down her makeup brush considering the meaning of Jane's question.

"Let's do it." Jane's mischievous grin confirmed her intentions. She was going to take the next step with Maura. They were taking things slow but they were taking the next step. Jane was thawing, and she was thawing for Maura. Maura's smile was radiant.