A/N: Yes I know I'm supposed to working on another Mamushi and Juuzou fic but I hit a road block but I had so many feels so I needed another outlet teehee. Actually this was just supposed to be just a way to get over my writer's block but I think I like it and might incorporate into "7 Times". Just to let you know though I have finished chapter 4 but it's chapter 3 that is posing such a huge problem.

I think (know) that I'm on a quest to build up the Mamushi/Juuzou fandom. This is for all you other repressed Mamushi/Juuzou shippers.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

- Alan Watts

What. The. Hell. What was even happening anymore? It seemed to Mamushi that at some point she had entered some sort of alternate universe. All the pieces of her life were there but they were misplaced. Like looking at your reflection at a fun house. The same but different. However, this wasn't Mamushi's feeling alone, as it seemed that the recent changes in her life were on display for everyone to see. The good and the bad.

This is what caused Mamushi to release a sigh after sliding the door to her bedroom at the ryokan shut. Finally. Some peace and quiet. The news of her engagement to Juuzou Shima had created quite the buzz among the people from her sect. It had kept her occupied (and blushing) all day. All of the questions and the stares had tired her out and she was ready to go to bed. Though her engagement wasn't the only cause for all the stares and whispers. It was also widely known that Mamushi was the traitor and the one who helped unleash the Impure King. Something that people might never forgive her for. And something she knew she couldn't forgive herself for.

But even though she was willing to take full responsibility for her actions, the last thing she wanted to do was drag others down with her. If she could help it, the Hojou family reputation would not be tarnished because of her. She was even willing to distance herself from the sect if it meant protecting them. However, one idiotic monkey did the opposite of what she wanted (as usual) and forever (or at least made the promise to) bound their names together. He may be a Shima but the idea of him having to deal with some sort of or any degree of fault for what happened weighed heavily on her mind. Just thinking about it made her release an even heavier sigh.

But right now she shouldn't bother herself with those kinds of thoughts. The worst part of the ordeal was over. She now knew that everyone was safe so at least no ones death would be hanging over her head as well. Plus, she was moving on from the physical damage that her betrayal had caused. She was finally able to spend the night without being looked after by someone. The damage in her right eye had been contained and the only thing left to do for a full recovery was to rest. And that's what she planned on doing. Mamushi moved away from the door to go about her nightly rituals.

After changing into her night clothes of a tank top and capris, she sat in front of the small vanity in the room and absent mindedly untied her long hair to brush through it. She stared at her new reflection. Just like how the events of the past few days had changed her life, her physical appearance was forever altered as well.

She stopped brushing her hair to finger the edges of her new permanent accessory. For a moment she allowed herself to feel sorrow for the loss of her eye but quickly pushed it away. This was hardly as bad as it could have been. In a sense, she had gotten lucky. Very lucky. And she knew that. This was just something else that she would have to adjust to.

Mamushi distractedly mused that some silly girls would have probably been more distraught at the damage. Even older women would probably worry about how this would have affected her chances of finding a husband. Those kinds of things never really bothered Mamushi before, she hadn't even been very pretty to begin with, but maybe as she grew older and more used to being a non-exorcist it would have come up? Not that she would ever really know for certain. Because. She was already. Engaged.

Mamushi saw her reflection blush. A light pink blooming on the apples of her cheeks. The idea was just so weird. Her eye she could adjust to. But being engaged, to Juuzou Shima no less, was much more difficult. After spending their lives together, this sudden show of affection from both parties seemed so out of the blue. Or at least that's what it seemed like.

Mamushi let out an amused breath as she thought about it. It was just like that monkey to pick this kind of timing. With her being considered a traitor to their sect, her new physical handicap, being removed from the order, and possibly more punishments to come, this was a perfect time to ask for her hand in marriage.

She was startled out of her musings by quick raps at the door. Her first thought was that it could be her sisters to, once again, whine about her sudden change in tune regarding Juuzou. Mamushi knew that despite all the complaining she could never really be angry at her sisters. Not only had they always been close, but, after being declared the traitor, if their only problem with Mamushi was who she decided to marry than she could live with their complaining for the rest of their lives.

After a moment the person knocked again. Mamushi got up and grabbed her robe before padding her way to the door. She slid it open a crack. At first she saw nothing and opened the door a little more. That was when a figure from the shadows came forward.

"Nurse Shima reporting for duty," it said with a smile.

Mamushi felt her mouth turn to an opened grimace. Without saying anything she tried to shut the door on him. It was too late, however, as he had already put his hands in between and was forcing it to remain open.

"That's not very nice, Mamushi," he was still smiling, though it was a bit strained now.

Mamushi, seeing that there was no hope in having the door keep him out, made a hasty retreat, backing away until a safe distance was established. Her face was full of suspicion and distrust. Juuzou took this as an invitation to enter and shut (and locked) the door behind him.

"That's no way to treat your husband." His overly bright smile from before melted into a softer, more casual one that, in it's own way, felt more genuine.

Mamushi felt another blush coming on but this time in her ears. "W-we're not married yet, you stupid monkey! What were you thinking? Did anyone see you come in?"

"Nope. Not that it really matters anyway. We should be allowed to enter each other's room. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's encouraged." He leaned against the door frame facing her, a smirk playing on his lips.

She remained her distance of a few feet and crossed her arms. She snorted quite unattractively. "Figures. I'm sure that was what you were really looking forward to when you said you wanted to get married."

Juuzou continued to stare at her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable yet warm in places. In a way that made her unsure of what he was looking at. Or seeing. "Not really." Mamushi tried not to fidget under his gaze. "Though...you could say that it's a bonus." With that, he took a step forward, making the gap between them smaller.

Mamushi's stomach flipped and she instinctively took her own mini step back. "I-idiot. Just because you asked my father for permission doesn't mean that we're really e-engaged."

Juuzou took another step forward, closing the gap much more quickly than Mamushi felt ready for. "Really? Why not? Your father has given us his blessing. I want to do it… You want to do it."

Mamushi didn't really have a counter argument. Technically, it really was as simple as that. Her father had given his blessing and even she had admitted to not disagreeing with the idea. And Juuzou… Well, Juuzou was the one to propose the whole thing in the first place… But… "You shouldn't," Mamushi muttered.

"What was that?" Juuzou had finally closed in and now stood directly in front of her.

Mamushi took in a breath to steel her nerves and keep her face neutral. "You shouldn't. Shouldn't marry me. Shouldn't even want to in the first place."

Juuzou paused. Then he came even closer. For a few seconds he pressed a hand against Mamushi's back but then withdrew it. It took a moment for Mamushi to realize he had only done that to ensure that Mamushi wouldn't run away. But it seemed to leave a heat signature on her body even after it was gone. He was looking down at her with that look again. It made Mamushi avert her gaze.

Juuzou lifted his left hand and brushed the tip of his thumb over the edge of her eyepatch, just as she had done earlier. This got her to flick her eyes toward him again. That's right, Mamushi thought. Please realize what you're getting yourself into. And this eyepatch is the least of your worries.

But then his thumb trailed to softly brush against her cheek. Mamushi didn't think she had ever been touched so gently. She tried to decipher what he was thinking through his eyes but he kept his attention strictly on the trail his fingers were making. They made their way to the side of her face and softly traced the outline of her outer ear. Mamushi tried to suppress a shudder.

Then his fingers were running through her still loose hair. He was playing with a few silky strands when he finally spoke, eyes still focused on his hand. "I...I'm not doing anything that I don't want to. So if I'm your primary concern, don't worry because I'm not going to be changing my mind."

Mamushi opened her mouth to protest but Juuzou cut her off, this time looking her directly in the eye. "And yes. I have thought it through. Completely." More gently, he continued, "I know you think I'm an idiot but give me some credit. I'm not doing this half-heartedly."

There have been a few moments in Mamushi's life when she has realized that Juuzou could be considered an attractive individual but standing directly in front of her now, looking at her in such a way, she was floored to realize how incredibly handsome she found him to be. She wanted to reach out and touch him. So much so that her fingers twitched at her side.

She had to wonder though, how she looked in his eyes? What did the Mamushi in his mind look like if her betrayal, her scars, her bad attitude, and all her flaws couldn't stop him from marrying her. How did he see her?

With what he had said, Mamushi felt her guard, and last defense, completely dissolve. Even her posture relaxed. This is why she didn't resist when Juuzou leaned down and found her mouth. His fingers woven into her silver hair and palms cupping her cheeks, he pressed his mouth against hers and she pressed back. The butterflies in her stomach erupted. She clutched his shoulders as she moved onto her tip toes. One of his hands wrapped around her waist while the other ran down to the middle of her back to keep her pressed against him.

Mamushi felt his heat wash over her. They separated shortly to take a breath before starting again. Mamushi flushed and felt a fire creeping up the back of her neck when her tongue tentatively met Juuzou's. Cautiously exploring each other for the first time in this way. Learning new things even after all they've been through.

They separated once more but this time Juuzou leaned forward to kiss just behind her ear. He began making his way down her neck and Mamushi dug her nails into his scalp, eyes closed. Her robe had come undone in the process so he was able to brush it aside without any difficulty before attacking her collarbone and shoulder.

Not being able to stop herself, Mamushi let out a breathy sigh (not a moan, definitely definitely just a sigh). Juuzou paused. Mamushi's eyes shot open, nervous. She could feel his breathing against the now sensitive skin on her collar bone before looking up. This made Mamushi blush even more. Because this whole time Mamushi had felt like it was Juuzou who was the most put together in this situation. But his face revealed something else. The redness of his skin could be attributed to a flush but Mamushi recognized the bloom of a blush spread across his cheeks as he looked almost startled at her.

Probably realizing what he was giving away to Mamushi, Juuzou quickly moved closer to capture her lips once more in a chaste kiss. He leaned his forehead against hers. Both of them let out shaky breaths, their lips still tingling. Mamushi could practically feel the ground shift under her as her world seemed to change once again. Doing these things with Juuzou was...different. But felt surprisingly good.

The peace between them was short lived however, as Juuzou chose to break the silence by saying, "Well, my parents are going to be thrilled to find out we're trying to create our own Shima clan so soon." She felt his laugh on her lips.

Mamushi froze as she processed this thought. Then her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes turned to slits, and she shoved him off of her, ending the moment completely. "What did you just say? What exactly did you think was going to happen here?!"

Juuzou immediately went on the defense. "Oh, come on. I was just kidding!"

Mamushi looked at him through narrow eyes. It was too late. Just the thought of having Shimas...UGH. It made her want to rethink this whole engagement thing once more. Her guard was back up and a part of her was grateful for it.

"You should leave," Mamushi replied icily.

Juuzou tried to come closer again. "Seriously? But you seemed to have liked where that was heading just a little while ago."

Mamushi knew she probably looked like a tomato. That was it. Ooohhh that had really done it. She raised her hand and let it go flying. SMACK!

"GET OUT!"

Juuzou was forced out of the room and landed on the floor with a thud. The door slammed shut behind him. He could hear the lock click.

In comparison to what had just gone down, the world outside seemed so much more peaceful and calm. The cool air contrasted against his own warm skin but it provided a sort of ice substitute for his cheek. Ouch. That was going to be sore tomorrow.

Juuzou wasn't really surprised their encounter ended this way. It usually did. In fact, it was actually more scary to realize how well it had been going before that. Very scary indeed.

He gently clutched his cheek as he leaned back against the door frame. When he closed his eyes, he could still see Mamushi's glazed eyes and the flush creeping up her chest. Could still smell her scent that was strongest in the nape of her neck. Could still feel her silky strands through his fingers. Could still hear that sigh coming out of her mouth. Juuzou's eyes snapped open. His cheeks warmed and the tips of his fingers tingled.

"Well, that was a close one," he said to no one in particular.

A/N: if you didn't realize, i was trying to imply that Juuzou chose to get out of that situation. Probably because if he didn't stop soon it would have gone places that it wasn't the right time for hehe. I hate having to spell out what I was trying to imply but I couldn't for the life of me figure out if it was obvious or just way too subtle and I don't have anyone to beta my stuff SORRY! (what I mean is I'm too embarrassed to show anyone my stuff)

ALSO if it actually was not something you were able to get from reading it, LET ME KNOW because then I'll edit it. Thanks.

Let me know what you think otherwise too! I'll try to get some work done on the other fic but school is crazy right now and that is a fic that I want to make sure I get the pacing right for sooo we'll see...