INTRODUCTION THING

RANDOM STRANGER (or whomever):

Hello and welcome to The Musical Note, a Death Note musical. This musical script thing has been brought to you by And Another Note. To learn more about us, feel free to visit our top secret headquarters at .com. Obviously, neither Death Note nor any of the original songs used are owned by us, so screw you. Thank you, and please enjoy.

ACT ONE, SCENE ONE

LIGHT:

This world… is ro-

(The notebook falls from the sky, smacking Light on the head.)

LIGHT:

OW, GOD DA… Wait, what's this?

(Music begins playing. To the tune of The Nightmare Before Christmas' 'What's This':)

LIGHT:

What's this? What's this?

This notebook that I've found

What's this?

So strangely is it bound

What's this?

I can't believe my eyes

I must be dreaming

Wake up, Light, is this your chance?

What's this?

LIGHT:

(reading) The human whose name is written in this note... shall die.

(A random person walks by.)

LIGHT:

Excuse me, sir, but could I get your autograph? (holds out book)

RANDOM PERSON:

Oh, sure! I trust you completely, random high schooler whom I've only just met! (writes his name into the notebook, tips his hat at Light, and starts to walk away) (choke, gag, dies)

LIGHT:

...Well, shit. It's real!

What's this? What's this?

It says I'll control death

What's this?

It feels as good as meth

What's this?

I'll judge all those who have done wrong

They'll worship me as their new God

Clean this world up with a song

What is this?

What's this?

If criminals are evil

Then why shouldn't they be stopped?

If no one else can do it

Then why wait 'till I'm a cop?

At first I know I doubted

Oh, I couldn't believe my eyes

But now I feel like shouting

And it's filling me with pride

Then it's decided! I will use this Death Note to shamelessly take out criminals one by one, and soon enough, all of the good, honest, hard-working people will start to recognize me as a god! And then they'll write a reality TV show about it!

SAYU:

(peeks head into the room) Hey, Light? Have you seen where I left my-

LIGHT:

(distracted) Not now, Sayu! Big Brother's busy enslaving the world.

SAYU:

(raises an eyebrow) Okay…? You know what, I'll just ask you later. (leaves)

LIGHT:

Now, where was I… (turns on TV)

Oh, look

What's this?

I see you're on the news

Yes, you

The charges you refuse

You liar!

Just give me 40 seconds and I'll fix this

Jesus, Light-kun, you're on fire!

What's this?

What's this?

Oh my!

They've noticed something's off

But why?

They'd never understand

My plight!

They're talking of it everywhere

Although some think I shouldn't dare

I feel a change within the wind

So, now, correct me if I'm wrong

I am a God

I am a God

Oh, could it be I got my wish?

What's this?

Oh Christ

What now?

So Kira is my name

Killer

The word from whence it came

Not great

There's nicer words that I'd prefer

To murderer

My soul I sacrifice to take us one step closer to peace

What's this?

Soon criminals will be missing

No more nightmares to be found

And in their place I know there'll be

Good feeling all around

Instead of screams, I swear

I can hear laughter in the air

The hint of hope and change

Is absolutely everywhere

The thrill, the joy

And though I've been so paranoid

I've never felt this good before

This empty place inside of me is filling up

I simply can not get enough

I want to, oh, I want to

Oh, I'll write all their names down

I've got to show

I've got to show

The world this thing that I have found

What is this?

Light crashes into Ryuk for the first time and falls over. (dumdumdum) He screams like a little girl and scrambles backwards.

LIGHT:

W-What the hell?!

RYUK:

Heheheh... I see you've taken quite a liking to it. And judging by how many names you've written already, I'd say you figured out pretty quickly that that is no ordinary notebook.

LIGHT:

Who-WHAT are you?!

RYUK:

I am the shinigami Ryuk, and what you have in your hand there used to be my Death Note.

LIGHT:

Sh-Shinigami?!

RYUK:

That's right. I'm a God of Death!

LIGHT:

O-oh, right, I knew that! I wasn't scared of you or anything! Haha! (pause) You're not going to eat my soul, are you?

RYUK:

What? Ew, no! That's disgusting! Is that some fucked up fantasy you humans have?

LIGHT:

Then... what are you going to do to me? I have your book...

RYUK:

Oh, I'm not going to do anything to you. Once the Death Note touches the ground, it is the property of the human world... or whomever picks it up first, I guess.

LIGHT:

So... this is mine?

RYUK:

If you don't want it, give it to someone else. However, if you do that, I'll have no choice but to erase all your memories of the Death Note.

LIGHT:

What? So I can use it however much I want and there'll be no consequences?

RYUK:

Well... you'll face the terror and mental anguish that comes with owning a supernatural instrument of murder. But otherwise, no.

LIGHT:

So let me get this straight: a strange God of Death has randomly shown up in my bedroom and says that this book will let me kill whomever I want, no strings attached?

RYUK:

I mean. That's not exactly what... well... Okay, sure. I guess you can interpret it that way?

LIGHT:

Seems legit! I'm so telling all my friends on Facebook~!

RYUK:

GOOD GOD, don't do that!

LIGHT:

...In person then?

RYUK:

No.

LIGHT:

My parents?

RYUK:

No!

LIGHT:

You suck.

RYUK:

Look, kid, you don't want that kind of attention. Trust me.

LIGHT:

(pauses, whips out his phone) Instagram it!

RYUK:

(smacks phone out of his hand) WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?

LIGHT:

Ugh you're just a big party pooper. I'm, oh the other hand, am a God. (sticks tongue out)

RYUK:

...You're just some prissy teenager who happened to pick up a Shinigami's killing notebook. Something tells me that's not the qualifications for Godhood.

LIGHT:

(opens the DN) But look at this, Ryuk! I've been passing judgement on all sorts of horrible people... (goes to his TV) Murderers, rapists... clowns! There are... a lot of clowns out there. (shudders) And everyone has realized that this isn't a coincidence; there's someone looking out for them, making sure that evil-doers get what they deserve!

RYUK:

You mean... like Superman?

LIGHT:

Fuck no, Ryuk! I'm Batman! But with better hair. (hairflip)

RYUK:

Heheheh... you sure are interesting, Light Yagami. How long do you suppose you can keep this up? What happens when all the bad guys are gone... and you're the only murderer left?

LIGHT:

(long, awkward pause) ...Party like a rock star?

RYUK:

Oh, boy. This is going to be fun. (talking to himself) You said you were bored, Ryuk. You said you wanted something to DO, Ryuk. Yeah well, you got what you wanted... (shoves Light down in a chair seriously as music starts) Look, you can't just go around offing people willy-nilly, kid. There are rules you've got to follow!

(To the tune of Aladdin's 'Friend Like Me')

Sometimes a Death God's almost out of years

And that's why we carry 'round these books

'Cuz when we make a human disappear

We end up stealing all their time we took

You've in your hands our power now

But it's not as simple as it seems

There's a list of ifs, ands, buts and hows

Ask me how to help you with your dreams and I'll say

Mr. Light Yagami

Killing's never been so easy

You just get a name, then jot it down,

But you've figured that one out, I see

Hahaha!

There might be more than one person

Who goes by that very name

So just picture the face of who you want

And the one that dies will be the same

But if you're feeling a little nervous

Need a cause of death, but which one?

Hey, it's not my biz, but still remember this:

You've got forty seconds 'til it's done!

Then, Mr. Yagami,

The next six minutes are free

You can write a why, when, where, and how

It'll happen like it outta be!

Now let's see... (counting on fingers) You'll need a name and a face, and then forty seconds later the person will die of a heart attack... unless you write down a cause of death! Then you'll get six minutes and forty seconds to write details of the death. But the circumstances can't be impossible and you can't kill anyone else but the person whose name you wrote down, and...

LIGHT:

(blank stare) Duhhh…

RYUK:

...Okay, nevermind. You know what the most important thing is?

(Ryuk demonstrates the power of the DN, killing off random people with heart attacks.)

Can your books do this?

Can your books do that?

Can you pull this off without getting caught?

And can you go, BOO!

(Touches a person with the DN. The person sees Ryuk, has a heart attack, and dies.)

Well, looky there, haha!

Can your books go (writing) Michael Jackson, overdose!

And then make that sucker disappear?

So don't just sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed

This little book can put on quite the show

It's been tested, checked, and certified

You do it right, no one'll even know

Though I'm hardly inclined to help you out

Here's something else before I let you go

An apple or two will clear up that doubt

Toss one here and I will make it so-and oh!

Mr. Yagami, see,

Other folk ain't so easy

I don't want your loot, just gimme some fruit!

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend like a shinigaaamiiiiiii!

Betcha never had a shinigami, ha!

LIGHT:

So you want apples, huh? I can do that... (He finds an apple somewhere? and gives it to Ryuk, who is overjoyed.) Okay, Ryuk. Time to take over the world!

(Lights fade to black.)