[AN] 'lo. just a warning, I have no idea where the fuck I plan on going with this fic, but please bear with me. will there be ships? idfk. will there be disregard for some canon events? absolutely. for starters, I refuse to believe that Levi is 30, so in this fic he's going to be 24. oops.

because I'll be writing fairly short chapters, updates will be much more frequent. expect one every two to three days.

"I wish I were a girl again, half-savage and hardy, and free." - Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

Chapter 1: Sunflower

Nephele longed for the day when she'd be taller than the sunflowers her mother tended to. She wanted to be tall and elegant like the models in her mom's catalogs, with their almond shaped eyes and hair like golden fabric.

Much to Nephele's chagrin, however, her eyes were too wide to be almonds, and her hair was like the deepest shade of the sun's flames when it's viewed up close. At least, that's how her mother, Ligeia, described it. It reminded Nephele of blood, so she shaved it off with her father's razor when she was six. Back then, it seemed like she'd have a promising future as a butcher, for she was able to shave her hair clean to the scalp without even nicking herself. Her father, Philo, was impressed and laughed it off, though her mother was horrified. Not because she elected to shear off her curly locks, but because of the hazard of a child wielding a blade and using it to cut their own hair.

Nephele was named after a Greek cloud nymph because she was born in April during a light rainstorm, and also because of her azure eyes, azure like the kingdom of the sky. When upset, the hues of her irises would become a dull gray, like clouds heavy with rain, and when agitated they would darken like thunderheads. But never did those clouds release their burden and rain upon the earth. Nephele never cried, since girls aren't pretty when they cry.

Nephele let the sky cry for her instead.

- Three Years Ago

"The sunflowers are vibrant today."

The sun was vibrant, too. It bore down on Nephele's back like a heated blanket, as if light had mass. She was the weeding the garden, her gloves covered in flaking dirt, brow glistening with sweat. Though she hated manual labor, she didn't mind gardening because all of the dirt and sweat was necessary to nurture such beautiful, fleeting life. That, and it was a rare moment during which she could spend time with her mother.

Nephele tucked a loose tendril of crimson hair behind her ear as she squinted her eyes up towards the sun. Her mother's hair resembled the golden sun's rays more than her own, she thought.

"You seem distracted today," came her mother's sudden intrusion on her idle thoughts. She was carefully gathering the ripe tomatoes into a woven basket, kneeling on the ground on the opposite side of the garden. Nephele plucked a dandelion out of the soil and deposited it in her own basket, which was half-filled with various weeds.

"It's just that I'm wondering when dad will be back from his hunting trip," she murmured softly, resuming her work at a more diligent pace.

"Well, he's going to be selling some of what he catches in Shiganshina. They pay higher prices for meat than this mountain village, because everyone around here hunts for their own meat anyways," she explained, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Nephele's mother was very beautiful, but in an inexplicable way that Nephele herself didn't quite understand. It was a beauty that no amount of makeup and no piece of jewelry could enhance or grant.

"Okay."

The sun had risen high into the clouds, the kingdom of the Nephelae, when the heavy, rhythmic fall of horse hooves penetrated the silence of the Ambrosia family's humble cottage and garden. Nephele's mood instantly brightened while her mother's became confused.

"Dad!" exclaimed the young girl, smiling widely as she rose from the ground with her basket of weeds. She wanted to show her father all of her hard work.

Her mother rose as well, but with much less enthusiasm.

"No, Philo didn't take a horse." She glanced over at the small pasture where the family horses, Daisy and Jasmine, were grazing. "He took an oxen and cart." Whoever this was, they must be fleeing with the hounds of hell at their heels, for they drove their steed with terrified urgency.

As horse and rider rose above one of the hills surrounding the mountain upon which Nephele and her parents lived, it was confirmed that the rider was not her father. First, disappointment became the most prevalent emotion on Nephele's face, then bewilderment as she wondered who their visitor could be, and then shock upon seeing the emblem of the Garrison stitched onto the man's jacket.

The soldier pulled his frantic steed into a skidding halt in front of the fence surrounding the garden, which protected it from beasts who would wish to devour their crops. The stallion's hooves kicked up loose dirt as it struggled for purchase, showering the plants in soil, its nostrils flaring and its eyes wide from both fear and exertion.

"Is there a problem, sir?" inquired Ligeia, placing the basket on the ground so that she could wipe her hands on her thighs to dispel a bit of the dirt caked on her palms. The Garrison were charged with protecting the walls, so it was practically unheard of for them to stray so far behind them.

"T-Titans!" he wailed, his eyes filled with even more unfettered, instinctive fear than the horse's. Soldiers were supposed to be strong and disciplined. This man was nothing like how she imagined humanity's heroes to be. "Titans broke through Shiganshina, and punched a hole in Wall Maria. Everyone must evacuate behind Wall Rose!"

His hands were caked in blood, not dirt. It looked like the color of Nephele's hair, and she never wanted to see that color again. She wanted to tear her hair out and bleed herself dry, so that she'd be pure white, like a daisy.

"But isn't dad in Shiganshina?" Nephele whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear.

"Quickly! I'll alert the rest of your village. You must leave now!" he commanded, though it seemed that he wished he could be the one who got to escape immediately instead.

Without another word, Ligeia grabbed her daughter's wrist, making her drop the basket, the heap of weeds littering the garden. Hours of work just tossed aside, years of nurturing their small yet beautiful garden spent in vain, and a century of peace abruptly shattered.

The walls have fallen, and so too will the fences to their garden.

"But dad!" This time, Nephele screamed, digging her heels in the soil and uprooting the chrysanthemums in a feeble attempt to stop her mother from dragging her along.

"He probably already evacuated, sweetheart," mumbled Ligeia, her voice breaking. It sounded like she was also trying to convince herself that this was true.

Narrowing her doe eyes, Nephele wrenched her hand free, staring at the flowers she had just defaced. "Liar. You don't know that."

Abandoning her half-hearted attempt to reassure her daughter, Ligeia lashed out on impulse, her hand over her heart and her eyes wild. "Well, what do you want me to do, Nephele? March into Shiganshina and rescue him? He's probably already been eaten by a titan!"

Such blunt words made Nephele speechless, and her mother took advantage of her shock by taking her hand in hers more gently than she did before as dread marred her pretty face. That was when Nephele decided she didn't want to grow up to be like her mother. She wanted to be beautiful and dignified, even in the face of disaster. She wanted to cover up every dirty, ugly factor of humanity and make it gilded and golden.

"We have to go. There's still hope for all three of us, but only if we survive."

Nephele looked over her shoulder, facing south towards where Shiganshina should be. She didn't try to imagine the chaos that was surely brewing there. She was just looking for her father, hoping to see his silhouette rushing towards them in the distance. Instead, she saw several human shapes in the distance loping towards them, and she wondered if they were civilians escaping from Shiganshina. Yet something was odd about those silhouettes. They were too spaced apart from each other, rather than forming a congregation of people as one would expect, and their bodies, even from this distance, looked very disproportionate.

Upon seeing the figures, the soldier panicked, calling out to the pair. "Hurry! They're coming, you must get on your horses until you reach Trost. Don't stop until you get there, no matter how long it takes!" Then, with those as his final words to them, the soldier dug his heels into the horse's sides, urging it into a gallop, and rode away.

"Come, Nephele. We have no time to grab our things," Ligeia said as soon as the soldier began to leave, trying to use a more soothing tone than before.

Nephele was about to protest, adamant about leaving behind her belongings, but quickly resigned herself to silence. It would be imprudent and undignified for her to complain.

Ligeia tacked up the horses with haste while Nephele anxiously stared at the approaching figures. Those must be titans. They didn't seem too threatening, and Nephele would even go as far as to say that they were rather sluggish, but the titans were a few kilometers away so her depiction of them was far from accurate. On the hill where her house was situated, she had a clear vantage point, and was able to see the titans despite them being so far away.

Ligeia ensured than Nephele was on her horse first, boosting her up onto the saddle, then climbed onto the chestnut colored mare, Daisy. She pulled on the reins so that the Daisy would pull alongside Jasmine and Nephele so that she could address her daughter face to face.

"Philo probably took the boat out of Shiganshina, and is own his way to Trost right now. He'll be waiting for us, so we have to meet him there, okay?"

Nephele pulled her hood over her head, which she often wore to hide her hair, and looked down at her hands, which were tightly gripping the reins.

The only place her father would be waiting for her was the black abyss.

"Okay."