Vampire diary and Twilight cross over.

I found myself when I was lost.

Damon Bella paring.

All normal disclaimers apply, all things Twilight and Vampier diary belong to owners, my use of their characters names, places etc. is no intended to be an infringement of her copyright.

Thank goes out to emeraldphoenix23 who has beta this for me, even being Ill. Thank you so much and hope feel better soon.

Summary.

After fighting with Jake, then Charlie and lastly Edward, Bella decides she needs 'ME' time and leaves the three men to their pissing contest. On her journey she comes across Mystic Falls. No sooner has she arrived when she crashes in to Damon. Damon wants her as a snack, but something in him can't permit him to do so. Instead he compels her to forget only she forgets everything….. even who she is.

Bella point of view

"I thought we would have more time" Jake cries as he follows me out of his home.

I rub my head, knowing that I have already spent most of the day here. Jake has been asleep the whole time, hence why he is upset. But this has given me a little time to myself without people telling me what they want from me, what they expect from me. That's one of the main reasons I like it here in La Push; it has so many quiet places at the beach. I think better when I am alone.

You may ask what does a seventeen year old girl need to think about, other than boys and school? I wish my life was that easy!

My mother Renee and my father Charlie divorced when I was five. Renee hated it here in Forks so took me to Phoenix to live. She was very care free and I all too soon became the caregiver of the family. I would come and visit my father during the summer holidays, but again I would find myself doing the parenting role. That all changed a year and half ago, when my mother remarried a man named Phil. Phil was nice and all but I couldn't handle the honey moon stage, so I left coming to stay with Charlie.

I didn't think my life would be any different but when I started school I met the Cullen's and Edward. He and his family are vampires and after a rough start we began dating. Esme, Carlisle acted like the parents of the family and they even took care of me. Then there was Emmett and Alice, Edward's brother and sister, they both welcomed me in with open arms, treating me like family. Jasper was just new to the family and their animal diet so he stayed away from me, and lastly Rosalie who just out right hated me.

It went well till James and his coven turned up and wanted to kill me. But thankfully Edward had saved me from James and killed him. After that our relationship seemed to change a little Edward seem to be slowly pulling himself away from me.

Then my seventeenth birthday arrived and Jasper went for me after I cut myself opening a gift. Edward hurt me when he tried to get me out of Jasper's way. I knew that night something was up, but to have him and his family walk away from me the next day killed me inside.

The month slowly passed and I start to hang around with Jake, he was my father's friend's son. Jake wanted more than friendship with me, and I did tell him that I couldn't. I was not ready, but I wanted to keep him as my friend. But after a night out he stayed away from me, it took me a month to find out that he was a part of the supernatural world too. Jake and his friends, or pack as the call themselves, turn in to werewolves.

Things got hard between Jake and myself. He became more determined to make me his girl. I do care for Jake but not in that way. He was my link to the supernatural world, he was my proof; that what I went through with Edward actually happened. He was my only friend, the only person that I could talk to. He was after all protecting me against Victoria, James' mate that wanted me dead.

He had already saved me when Laurent, the third member of James' coven that had tried to kill me. Things changed again when I went cliff driving and Alice, who could see the future, saw me jump….. only she never saw Jake save me. She came to be with Charlie, and Rosalie told Edward I had died so he went to see Italy to the head of the vampire community so they could kill him. Alice and I managed to stop them and Edward and his family came home.

It's been six weeks since then I have been pulled and pushed, between Edward, Jake and my father. They all want me to do what they want, what will make them happy. None of them seem to listen to what I have to say, and keep say "I don't know what I am talking about". That "I am too young to understand the choice I am making."

And it sounds like Jake is about to try and make me choose him again.

"I'm sorry but I need to go" I say ducking my head as the guilty set in.

I do feel guilty, if weren't for him and his pack I would be dead. Or I would be depressed just sitting somewhere alone, but I don't want him like that.

"I wanted to do this right, but looks like I'm just going to have to go with it!" he says.

Before I can say another word Jake is kissing my HARD. I try to push him off but it doesn't work he just keeps going. I feel the tears building up in my eyes, so I just shut down. Really I can't believe he is doing this. But I know also it's partly my fault. After all I keep coming here, and he thinks he it's only for him.

"WOW that was some kiss" Jake says not seeing that I am upset.

"Yea?" I ask and he grins at me.

I pull my hand back smacking him in the face. The second my hand hits I feel pain that he doesn't seem to feel. Stupid werewolf!

"Bells?" he says with a chuckle and I glare at him making laugh more.

"Let me see," he says as I walk away from him taking deep breaths.

"Come on Bells you kiss me back." Jake prods.

I stop and turn to him looking at him like he crazy.

"No I did not! I told we're friends nothing more." I snap.

"But I love you" he says.

I sigh rubbing my head, "No, you have a crush that I have allowed to go on."

"This is more than a crush" Jake says pulling me to him.

"No if it were more you would have imprinted on me." I reply.

Jake and his friends are the type of werewolves that imprint on their mates. Most of the pack have already imprinted on their mates Jake has not, and I think he's trying hard to imprint on me, but I am sure it doesn't work that way. If it did then Sam, the Alpha of the pack, would have imprinted on Leah, who was his girlfriend at the time of his change, but he imprinted on Leah's cousin Emily.

"It's that leech he's done some shit and that's why I haven't but you are my imprint!" Jake growls.

"I am not" I say again more harshly.

"I am, just kiss me and you'll see." His hands start to wonder and I hit them away.

"I need to go home and make Charlie dinner." I say and Jake sighs as he walks me to the car pushing me in.

"Fine but you'll see that you meant to be with me, I'll try to save you the guilt you feel for hurting me." Jake says determined.

I turn looking at him as he drives; I can see it he believes what he is saying.

"It hurt me to see you with him, when you choice to spend time with him and not me." Jake adds.

"It hurt him when I spend time with you" I say quietly.

When the hell did this get so complicated? Why can't they all just get along? Edward has his family and the many different vampire friends he has made. Jake has his pack, and his tribe. I have the Cullen's and Jake, and I can't keep both of them in my life.

"Well who fault is that then?" Jake yells.

I don't say anything because I know it's my fault. I love Edward I know this. But Jake is my friend, well at least I thought he was but I need to let him go. I am sure Edward friends will become mine too. I just wanted something that was mine.

Then at the back of my mind there a voice that says 'What if Edward leaves you again? You be on you own, no one will stand by you a second time.' I know that, that is my insecurities and I should talk to Edward about them, but I am afraid.

We pull up and I run in to the house.

"Hey Bella did you have a good time with Jake?" Charlie asks as I walk in.

"NO" I say and my dad looks at me and frowns.

"What happened?" He asks.

"I kissed her" Jake says walking in and smirking.

"Good job son." Charlie says genuinely.

I glare at my dad as I pick up the house phone calling Edward.

"I didn't want him too." I say as I get connected.

"Bella" Edward says and I see my father roll his eyes and he taps Jake on the shoulder.

"I need you take me to see Carlisle, I think I broke my hand" I continue.

"How did that happen" Edward grits out.

"I punched Jake" I answer.

"Why?" He questions.

"He kissed me." I say.

"Bella you're making too much a deal out of it, it was only a kiss after all." Charlie says with a smirk.

I don't get a chance to say a word as Edward bust through the door, takes my hurt hand in his.

"Yes it broken" he says with the 'I told you he was dangers voice.

He leads me out only for Jake to follow him.

"I've told her that she's my imprint, that you blocking it somehow. She'll be mine." Jake says.

Edward gets a look of disgusts in his face.

"Oh bet you wish you could kiss like I did leech!" Jake continues and I know Jake replayed the kiss.

Edward is able to read everyone's mind, but mine, he says I am completely blank to him.

Edward grabs him pulling Jake towards him "Next time wait till she asks."

"Oh she will, I'll be the one that get her." Jake gloats.

"Not in your life time pup and you won't be seeing her again." Edward warns.

"Okay break up now" Charlie says and I roll my eyes at the fact he has put his badge on.

"It was only a kiss. And she'll see who I tell her she sees." Charlie continues.

I shake my head at him.

"NO I see who I choice, you can't keep doing this. He kissed me against my will Charlie, that's wrong, he had no right to violate me that way." I say getting in the middle of it.

"It was a kiss Bella." He chuckles.

I cut him off, "One I didn't choose it. I tried to push him of but he didn't stop. Then he tried to grope me. You know what you just taught him, that no doesn't matter. So what is next? If he wants to have sex with me what's to stop him because no won't?"

Charlie looks a little ashamed.

"I would do that?" Jake gasps out.

"Really how do I know that, after all you kiss me when you knew I didn't want it?" I challenge.

"That's different." Jake argues.

"No it's not, you ignore my no." I say hurt.

"Okay Bella settle down, I think Edward and Jake should go home and I'll take you to get your hand see too." Charlie says interjecting.

"No I'll go with Edward." I reply.

"You only got till ten and it's nine." Charlie warns.

"Keep this up Charlie and the seconded I am eighteen I am out of that house faster than you can say goodbye. I'll be back tomorrow." I threaten and get in Edward's car.

Edward smiles as he gets in and I just catch Jake voice "This is his doing we need her way from him."

"That's not going to happen." Edward says smiling at me like he won some prize.

Soon as we arrive, Edward tells the whole family what went down between Jake and me. It took little time for them to again say how a danger Jake is and how much of a risk I was taking with my own life and theirs. Then the joke came, but bed time I felt hurt and alone.

"Hey" I look to Edward sighing a little,

"Are you done with your jokes?" I asked.

He chuckles and smile at me "Come on we were just playing with you." He hugs me close to him "But really you have to start staying away from him."

"I have no plans to talk to him right now. Besides once you change me he won't want to see me." I say sadly.

Edward freeze's in my arm, showing me that he is still clearly not liking the idea of me being a vampire.

"We agreed." I say pulling myself closer to him.

I try not to panic over why he doesn't want me like him, even more so now Aro, Marcus and Caius-the vampire royal family have demanded my change or my death. Then there's the fact Victoria wants me dead –painfully too.

"I know." Edward says quietly.

I kiss him and we tumble on to the bed, and he pulls away.

"Come on Edward, it'll be fine, and we don't need to have full sex." I say looking at Edward in the eye and the look of horror fills his face; I drop my head.

"It's too dangerous Bella." Edward says with a sigh as I wipe the tear away from my eye. "Bella, I will give you anything" Edward says dropping to his knees.

"There are only three things I want from you." I say and Edward looks at me "I want you to love me forever." He nods his head with a smile. "Too make love to me before I am Vampire," I swallow and Edward become still. "And I want you to be the one to turn me."

"Marry me" He says instead of comment on what I said.

"What?" unsure if I hear right.

"Marry me? If you marry me then I will try to make love to you and I'll turn you." I swallow and smile at him try to push of the hurt feel, he made sound like a business deal.

"Edward I not ready for marriage I am not even eighteen?" I reply.

"Then we do it as soon as you are." He says simply.

"Edward my parents got divorced." I say trying to get him to understand.

He shrugs his shoulders at me, he doesn't understand how hurt I was over it. How it made me feel when Renee repeatedly told me, she and Charlie were fine till they got married and how it changed them.

"That's the deal Bella marry me, then I will try to make love to you. And also I'll be the only one to change you." He repeats.

I frown looking at him there is something not right with the way he said it other than the fact to him this is a business deal.

"Let get this right first I marry you then, you'll make love to me if you can. Then you'll change me?" I say wanting clarification.

Edward nods his head.

"Why can't you make love to me, then change me and then we get married?" I shoot getting pissed.

I may not want to get married but he could have asked me better than that, or at least made it sound like he was asking because he loved me.

"Come on Bella which one of us is likely to keep their side of the bargin?"

"ME" I yell and Edward raises his eyebrow at me. "Tyler's van, you promised if I didn't say anything you'd tell me what happened. I kept my side you didn't. After the Phoenix deal you promised not to leave me, but again you broke that promise and left me. Then there are the thousands of times you did other stuff, promised me stuff and each time you got out if it. Like you will this! You'll say I only promised I try, it didn't work. Then you can drag out changing me. If you don't want me like that then at least have the guts to tell me," I say.

"Bella it's not that, I could hurt you." Edward says trying to calm me down.

"Oh, well then I will TRY to marry you" I yell and he just glare at me.

"Bella marriage is not a hard thing to do." Edward says annoyed.

Like kissing someone, like to real mean and want to, my inner voice cries.

"It is for me, it's hard for me as it's not something I believe in, but I would be willing to do for you in a year or two. But you are unwilling or you just plain don't want to be with me in that manner. Hell you don't even want me to be a vampire, and that there scares me. If you really loved me the way you claim to it wouldn't." I storm out of the room head down stairs seeing the full family trying to act like they didn't hear a thing.

"Jasper can you give me a lift home?" I ask.

He tilts his head then nods it.

"Bella you said you'll stay the night." Edward says coming down.

"Well I change my mind" I say angrily.

"You can't go home." Edward says.

"Why not?" I yell still hurt and pissed at him.

"Jake's spending the night there" Edward replies.

"How do you even know that?" I question.

"Alice had a vision. Jake must have stepped outside but she saw Charlie call Bill to let him know." Edward answers.

"Okay so?" I say not really believe Alice had a vision.

"You're not spending the night in that house with him." Edward says.

"Take me home Jasper please." I plead.

Jasper sighs.

"Bella, I can" Alice starts.

I cut her off as I know if she gives me a lift home she'll have me feel guilty and sorry for Edward. Right now I have had it with the guilt

"No" I say and Jasper walks out with me as does Edward.

"You're acting like a child" Edward says harshly as I get in the car.

"That's because I am a child." I yell back.

We drive in silence until we reach my house.

"I don't like this side of you, Bella." Edward says matter of factly as we pull up to the house.

I glare at him and storm out of the car.

"Ah, I knew you would come home to me." I roll my eyes at Jake.

"She not came home to you dog." Edward growls.

"Bella you're grounded." Charlie says I rub my head.

"I am done" I yell at them all and run up start I quickly pack my bag.

I send a text to Renee and then run back down I grab my passport and head to the door.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asks as Jake and Edward just look at me.

"I am going to visit Renee" I say angrily.

"No you're not" Jake Charlie and Edward say together.

"Yes I am, and you three don't call me. I am sick of you all telling me what to do, breaking promises to me." I call Renee number and she pick up.

"Mom Charlie said I can't come." I pass the cell to Charlie and he pales.

"Two weeks Bella" Charlie says.

I shake my head, "No I'll be back when I am ready"

"Bella I can't be away from you." Jake says pulling at me.

He has that heartbreak look that he use to get me to do what he wants.

"Too bad Jake." I reply and pull away from him.

"Bella" I look at Edward as he says my name, shake my head.

"You left for eight moths so you have no right to say anything. Please Jasper could you give me a ride my flight leaves soon" I ask and he smiles a little nodding his head.

"I'm sorry" I chuckle and look around to Edward. "But you still don't want me the way I want you."

"Sex outside of marriage is wrong Bella." Edward says disapprovingly.

"Why is it if it makes me feel good? Oh and I was talking about you changing me." I close the car door and Jasper drives.

"He does love you," he says. I look at him and he chuckles "All of them do."

"Yes Jake has a crush and he wants me, he even uses the imprint as a way to get me. He knows what he says is wrong but he wants to get one over on Edward. Charlie trying to make up for lost time and doesn't see he's too late. I am full grown." I chuckle knowing I haven't behaved that way these last hours "Well mostly. And Edward, I am not sure, if I were his mate he would rather die than lose me. And the whole as soon as you die I would end my life is a little sick and didn't work out for Romeo and Juliet. Then to top it if he believes he's booked for hell, does he think that's where I am going?" Jasper shrugs. "It will have to be in order for him to spend the after live with me in his mind I would have to be going to hell, because he made it clear he believes that where he is going."

"I don't think he's really thought it through Bella." Jasper says.

"Or maybe he does not love me as much as what he says. Deep down I don't think he does love me enough to want to spend forever with me." I admit out loud.

Jasper sighs a little he goes to talk and I shake my head at him.

"This why I need to leave I need to think."

"I agree darling, call us if you need us." He says.

I nod and walk in to the airport, I look around and just head toward a gate I make sure that I don't plan anything that way Alice will not be able to see me. Phil, god love the man, put three thousand in my back account so I have more than enough for a few weeks.

I lied I am not going home to Renee's I am just going on a road trip, but I couldn't tell Charlie or Edward that as they would never allow it.

Once the plane lands I walk out of the building, I feel the sun hit me and I smile, it only takes me two hours to get a little run down car and to be on the open road.

~IFMWIWL~

It has been five days I have been driving for, and according to my map I have just entered Mystic Falls. It's real dark and seems to be kind of foggy. I shiver as the cold air hits me; I look at the empty road before casting my eyes down to turn my car heating on.

When my eyes go back to the road I see a man lying in the road. I swerve but lose control of my car. My car tumbles down the bank crashing in to a tree my head hits my car window a few time on the tumble down.

"Oh my god" I say in repeat.

I unbuckle and my hand goes to my head and I take it away seeing the blood.

I quickly get out and make my way to the road stumbling a lot as I feel so dizzy. I look on the road see that it is empty.

"Please god don't l let him be dead." I say fearful.

A chuckle makes me turn and I see the man stand before me. As I look at him I notice that his face looks weird.

"Oh thank god." I say relieved.

"I am not god" He replies darkly.

"Are you okay?" I say moving to him, and he tilts his head at me.

When I reach him, I check him over slowly starting with his lower half, not see any wounds on his lower body I move to his face.

"Shit, you hurt you head" I say touching his face softly, his eyes look so black and they have what looks like blood in them. "Your eyes are bleeding, I am sorry" I sob a little. The man just looks at me like he is confused.

"Do you have cell phone or something I got rid of mine when…" I trail off think as the man just stands there looking at me.

"Please be okay" I say put my hand on his chest I can feel his heat beat but it is going so slow.

The road starts to move and I feel my body go to the side, then it starts to fall down and I can see the moving ground coming close to me. Before I hit it, I feel the man's arms go around me.

"Yay you should sit" I say trying to fight and keep myself awake so I can look after him.

"Look, you never saw me it was a deer and you lost control of your car. You'll forget everything!" he says looking in to my eye and I watch pupils dilate.

"I lost control of my car." I say, as the guilt hits, how could, I be so stupid to take my eyes for the road.

"Okay I need to go" he says.

"What's your name?" I ask and he looks at me and I frown and I am hit with a better question to ask him. "Do you know mine?"

"What?" He asks confused.

"Do you know my name?" I clarify.

He swallows and I start to feel cold and so unsure, I rub my head but the pain hits me hard.

"I lost control of my car but before that? Who am I?" I ask.

The man looks pained and I feel my eye roll back. The man pulls me close and my head fall on to his chest. The smooth heart beat makes my body feel like it's a live.

"Stay with me please" I mumble out as my eyes close.

Thank you so much for reading. I have up to chapter 7 done and beta, so I hope to update each Wednesday, if there any problems in that I will let you know. Please leave a review and let know what you thoughts are. And also check out emeraldphoenix23 story Buried Secrets 3: Enter the Shadows.