Turning the frying pan over I quickly nudged all of the eggs off and onto the plate with a spatula. Setting the pan back down onto the burner I quickly took the plate to the island, setting it next to the plate of bacon.

"Breakfast!" I yell, breathing out quietly after speaking. Leaning back against the counter next to the stove I let my eyes close momentarily.

Even if I did sleep over the past several days, its safe to assume the sleep I've been getting hasn't done much help.

"Good morning," I cleared my throat before speaking, turning with a small smile as Danielle, Bladen, and Nadia walk in. "Avery still asleep?" Adjusting my stance I quickly turned, grabbing a spare plate off the counter before going to collect the toast from the toaster.

"Yeah, believe it or not, it didn't take as long this time." Dani gives a small shrug before flashing a quick and brief smile.

"Thank you," I sigh, placing the plate down onto the counter before resting my hands along the edge, meeting her eyes.

"How was it yesterday?" Bladen asks, his arms loosely crossing on the counter surface as he took a seat at one of the stools at the island opposite me.

I was quiet for several seconds, meeting his eyes before looking away momentarily.

"We're working on it."

"How's your team?" Nadia.

"Holding it together. Best they can." I nod, turning as I took a deep breath before opening the fridge, grabbing both the apple juice and orange juice.I take in a quiet breath, turning to place both on the counter before I began collecting glasses from the cabinet next to the fridge. "Lunch is in the fridge. I just put together some sandwiches. Dinner is leftovers from last night." I explain, meeting the eyes of the three in front of me before setting down a small stack of plates at the end of the island from where the food was, silverware already next to said stack.

"When will you be back?"

The voice caused my eyes to snap over to the edge of the room where the hall was, seeing Antonio holding his stuffed lion, rubbing his eyes groggily with his spare hand.

Damn it. I was hoping to get out before too many noticed my absence.

I smile gently before quietly walking over to him.

"Well," I grunt, picking him up. "I'll be heading back tonight, but you'll be fast asleep by the time I get home. So you'll see me tomorrow." I explain gently, combing some of the curls out of the way of his eyes before setting him down on the stool next to Bladen.

I exchange a small glance with Bladen, who caught on not a second later.

"Let's get you some food buddy." He smirks, grabbing one of the plates before getting the spoon, collecting a small portion of eggs.

"I don't like toast." Antonio mumbles, copying Bladen's previous position with his arms crossed on the island surface.

I smile, meeting Danielle's eyes for a moment.

"You like toast, Nio. It's the crust you don't like." Nadia chuckles, meanwhile getting a plate for herself too.

I gesture towards the sliding door and Danielle nods before walking over. I could feel her a few feet behind me as I opened the door and stepped out onto the small shaded patio. Closing it behind me I took a few steps to the side before lowering to sit on the edge of the bench against the exterior wall.

"You sure you're okay w-"

"We talked about this," Dani mutters, cutting me off.

I pause, lips still parted before I gave a small nod. Swallowing I glanced out at the fenced yard briefly.

"Things aren't looking good… are they," Her expression was calm but her eyes said otherwise. There was a fear there. She was scared.

Hell, so was I. I was scared shitless... Like I would admit that.

"It's only been a week since-... It happened. We're working on it, Dani." I explain quietly.

She is silent before nodding, bringing a hand to the back of her head as she scratched gently, her long black curly hair falling around her shoulders as she pulled some of it forward.

"I- think I know what you're going, I get that you need some time alone that you haven't got."

"You sure you'll be okay here?"

"You leave us here all the time for the raids, K." Dani breathes a small laugh before nodding. "We'll be fine."

I clench my jaw briefly in response before nodding.

I guess she's right. I hadn't really had any time to myself since- since this all happened.

"Will you let the others know?" I turn, my brow knit gently as I met her eyes.

"Course," She nods.

"I don't want any of you leaving the house," My voice was firm but still a bit gentle. "Keep the gate locked, you can be in the backyard but I don't want any of you treading too far. It's not safe out there right now."

"I'll keep em reeled in." She held up her pinky with a smirk, other fingers loosely closed in a fist.

Feeling a small smile cross my face I reciprocate the gesture, locking her pinky finger with mine briefly before dropping the hand and getting to my feet.

"For Avery, I uh, didn't write out a list but I usually feed her-"

"Twice before noon, two to three times after. Couple healthy snacks somewhere in there, and she takes a few naps during the day. Diaper changes vary. I know, I live here to ya know." She grins.

Closing my eyes for a moment I subtly roll them seconds later before nodding.

"Fair, enough." I breathe before shaking my head, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Be safe… Make good decisions." She sighs, her voice light but-... still serious.

My eyes were unfocused, gazing through the sliding door and into the kitchen where everyone was.

No promises there, Dani.

~0~

My pace was rather quick as I made my way across the courtyard-like area in front of one of the science and technology buildings in Wakanda… where I used to meet up with Shuri. During last night's meeting, I got permission through Okoye to come by again.

I meet her eyes as I come to a stop outside the building, seeing her waiting there along with Jaman, and two others, part of the Dora Milaje.

"Sorry this was on such short notice." I mumble, exchanging a small glance with Jaman, giving a nod before meeting the General's eyes.

She just gives a small shake of her head before glancing over towards Jaman.

"Worse things have happened." She responds.

"Nice sarcasm." I nod, breathing out.

"Hmm," Her eyebrows shot up for a moment before falling as she gestured to Jaman, causing him to come forward several feet.

"Thank you," I mumble, holding out a hand.

She met my eyes once again before glancing down, taking my hands a few moments later to shake it.

"You're welcome." She responds before glancing out towards the area less populated with buildings, where I was headed. "Stay as long as you need."

"Won't be here too long, but thank you." I give the briefest of smiles before meeting Jaman's eyes yet again with a friendly gaze.

Okoye gestured to her comrades seconds later and departed, leaving me alone with Jaman.

"Hey," He smiles, taking a couple steps closer.

I pull together a smile for him before stepping forward to hug him tightly.

"I know you want to be alone, but I thought I'd say hello when you got here."

"I'm glad you did," I breathe, eyes closed before I step away, meeting his eyes with a smile. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise," He smiles gently before his eyes glanced towards the direction I was heading - out of the city. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, thank you." I grasped his forearm gently for a moment.

He was being so understanding. Despite the guilt I felt, I know he didn't blame me for any of this. He was suffering, just as I was… As we all were.

He eyes me calmly for a few seconds before nodding in response, gesturing out with his free hand.

~0~

It was a trip I had taken a million times. I could do it blindfolded. As I came to a stop at the top of the hill, I felt my chest tighten up at the sight. It looked the same, but-... Something wasn't right. Most of the plant-life was dead, decayed… The quaint little hut appeared abandoned; only a few goats remained, and one cow.

Clenching my jaw I took a deep breath before stepping forward, picking up a light pace as I made my way down the hill.

It took longer than it usually did when I would walk this same path time and time again. When I would scramble to get my head on straight and my ducks in a row before getting down to that damned hut and retarded goats. Then it felt like a few seconds. But right now it's taking a century.

I came to a stop as I got to the bottom of the hill, hesitating a moment as I evaluated what animals were left before my eyes met the hut. My feet were moving before I gave them permission to and suddenly I was at the door of the small shelter, the familiar smell hitting my nose like a truck as I closed my eyes for a moment, almost startled at the smell.

It was faint, but strong enough; familiar… comforting. My eyes burned as I quickly blinked the sensation away.

I stepped into the doorway, taking in the small space. Nothing had been touched. Everything was the same from the last time I saw it. The makeshift bed on the floor to the left, a blanket tousled and thrown in a ball on top of it. Other small belongings and quirky objects were about the space as well.

My eyes catch something brightly colored and I glanced back towards the bed, seeing something by the blanket.

My feet carry me into the space and I reach out, grabbing the object half hidden by the blanket before pulling it into view, smiling.

Fritt Bar. Damn, I remember tossing this in here a week ago. Surprised one of the kids didn't snatch it.

Closing my hand around it I shake my head before exiting the hut, going to my usual spot before sitting down against the exterior wall.

It was quiet. It was never quiet. There were always crickets, maybe some cicadas… But it was quiet. And the space around me felt more empty and unnatural than ever.

"I'm- sorry all this happened… " The words left my mouth before I could realize I was talking to no one. I was alone.

I clench my jaw briefly before giving the smallest shake of my head, the Fritt bar being lightly turned in my hands as I thought.

"...I'm gonna fix this. I promise."

The burning feeling came over me as my eyes watered and I quickly shook my head, blinking away what tears were to form. Breathing out, my shoulders sag and I lean back against the exterior wall, my eyes meeting the sky.

What are you upset about. We're going to fix this… We have to.

My eyes turn out towards the trees and body of water ahead and my mind begins to wander. Wander to-... Too many things. Like how this all even happened.
…How the hell did I even get here… How did any of this happen?

A/N: Chapters posted every Friday unless stated otherwise. If you're still here and wanna give it a chance, click that next arrow button for a clearer look into the story ;) Chapters range from 4k-10k, although they average between 6k-8k. This story can also be found on Tumblr and AO3. Tumblr is at horseluvr00-ff and I use my same user on AO3 that I have here on FFN. :)

A/N: Stay healthy, stay safe, sending lots of love.

A/N: Also- this story's original was posted in 2014. This rewrite began January 2020 so don't assume I only update every five years please XD