The Drive for Life and Answers

Story by Blue Salamander

As I heard the sound of my doll falling, my vision became blurry. I started to feel heavy, making me collapse like the broken doll in front of me. My breath got shortened as the time flowed by, as if something was dragging into the depth of abyss.

Hmph, so you seem to be lacking as well.

A voice of thirty-year old man, the one who led me to this battlefield, echoed inside my head. I had no energy to talk back to him. I couldn't do anything, but to blankly stare at the enemy puppet, which was walking towards me. Even though it had no eyes of its own, it was as if it was looking at me, mocking me as if I was nothing but a useless life form, even below a mere puppet.

The time has come. With your inevitable loss, I will consider this round of preliminaries to be over.

His words were gibberish to me, but that did not matter. In the boundary of life and death, I didn't care what he was speaking. As the strains in my body strengthened, I could feel something strangling me, like it was trying to squeeze out all my air inside my lung.

My eyelids are beginning to close. Maybe I should close my eyes now...

That was what I thought, but it quickly changed after hearing the voice again.

-Farewell. I pray you'll peace in your annihilation.

At that, my eyeballs rapidly shook, taking a last glimpse at the scene. At the beautifully colored floor made of stained glass, there were countless bodies wearing the same, brown uniform like me. I quickly realized that they were the failures. They were the poor souls who also got their life taken by this merciless test.

Will I going to be... one of them? One of those cold, lifeless corpses?

A fear of death lingered inside of me. It gave me courage, a courage to stand up once again, and the strength to withstand the unknown force, the one taking out the fire of my life. My eyes suddenly caught the frightening figure of the puppet, ready to kill me. However, that did not stop me from trying. The doll standing in front me was giving me shivers, but my fear of death was much greater than that.

I don't want to die.

I want to try, one last time to stand up.

Those were the only thoughts I had. Very pathetic excuse to defy the laws of the trial, but that was enough for my last struggle. Inside of my fading consciousness, I tried to move by body. I tried to pull all my remaining strength. An extreme pain took over my body. It was so intense, like it was forcing me give up, but no. I couldn't give up.

Even though my senses were starting to fade out, even though the pain was forcing me to accept the inevitable fate, I must try.

If I couldn't get myself up, I just have to try harder.

If I give up here, it's the end. It's not the end until it really is. Even though its very week, I can still control by body.

The struggle to live, that's the desire that all the life forms have, but I was trying too hard. This effort couldn't be explained by just a fear of death. The unbearable pain shot through my body, and the my consciousness was fading. Normally, it was natural for people to give up. However, I had another reason to refuse my fate.

My memories had vanished in oblivion. I had no idea how I came, why I came, or even who I was. The only furthest past I remembered was the events in that false world. I didn't want to die with facilitated memory. I wanted to know my true identity, my "self."

So that was it. Those mixed desires. That's why I was trying too hard.

Now I found out my true wishes, I couldn't dare to give up, even more than before. My fingers flickered in response. I tried to reach my arm out to grab that puppet's leg. My arm was shivering with lack of energy, but I finally did it. As it felt my grip, the puppet stopped. Instead, it's face was directly "looking" at me. With my half-closed eyes, I looked at the puppet, and gave a satisfying smile.

'Don't underestimate me. Don't underestimate the human's drive... to live on!'

The puppet pushed away my grip, and kicked my stomach. My body helplessly flew, crashing against the wall. I was now lying with the corpses, but the puppet backed away as it saw my look in my eyes haven't changed. The eyes were still filled with will to live. The smile haven't faded a bit. Seeing how a threat was impossible to make me give up, the doll rushed towards me. It raised its arms to give up.

[Hmm... You're willpower is amazing. Even though you are experiencing such a pain, you are refusing to give up. Do you really want to live that badly?]

A voiced echoed through my head. It wasn't the one from the before, the masculine voice that sounded like the one from an annoying priest. It was a voice of a young girl, filled with kindness and warmth. Rather than words, I responded with my attempt to move my body.

[I see... You remind me of someone I know. Now tell me, what is your name?]

'Hakuno... Hakuno Kishinami...' I said inside my head as the reply to the unknown voice.

[Hakuno Kishinami, that's a good name you got there. Alright, I just made up my mind. I am going to help you and serve you as my master. It's been a long time for me to serve a human master.]

With a sound of breaking glass, a bright, crimson and black darkness zipped in front of me. The darkness, in forms of whip s, pu shed the puppet far away, protecting me. As I heard the sound of puppet crashing through the wall, the strange force which pulled my consciousness down, the gravity which squeezed out my air, and the sharp pain which rushed through my body, all disappeared in an instant. Although my body was all worn out from those forces, I managed to life up my face to see the true form of the crimson darkness.

As the darkness faded out, I saw a young woman about nineteen years old. The girl, with platinum-blond hair, was wearing a dark-red uniform. She had a nice body, but she was definitely not human. She had an excessively pale skin. Her left arm was a mass of chaotic, crimson darkness.

She turned around. Her fringe covering her right eye made her left eye distinguishable. Her pupil was red like a blood. She let out a hand with a warm smile. Even though she had a frightening appearance, I could feel that she had a kind heart inside. As I grabbed her hand, she helped me to get up. I couldn't feel any warmth in her hand, but that didn't matter.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain on the hand, like a knife had just cut it. I flinched at the pain, but it was only for a moment. I carefully looked at my hand, and saw a strange, red tattoo on the back of my hand. It had a strange symbol that looked like a crest. I looked at the woman and the strange mark alternatively. The woman just smiled, and patted my head. It was as if she was saying "there is nothing to worry about." Although she didn't say a word, I could feel much better.

Suddenly, there was a sound. She sharply turned around and saw the doll from before rushing towards her. She stepped in front of me. The warmth her eyes she had previously was no longer there. Instead, it was replaced by ferocious glow that would make any enemies shook in fear. As the doll approached, her red eyes glowed intensively. With a threatening roar, her shadow-like arm turned into countless whips that slashed the puppet into pieces as if it was nothing. The fight ended very quickly. There was no way the the puppet would move after it was so torn apart.

I groaned, grabbing my hand as the pain from the strange mark intensified. It was like there was a fire burning on my hand. The pain seemed to intensify when she started to attack the puppet.

A Berserker. How interesting.

As I heard the man's voice from the sky, I looked up.

The tattoo on your hand is called "Command Seal." It is the proof that you hold domination over your Servant. You can use it to give three orders. Those cannot be used and must be followed. You can say its a disposable strengthening spells.

A Servant? I turned to the woman. Was he talking about her? She said nothing, just looking at me with a smirk. I quickly shifted my glance towards the glowing red tattoo on my hand. The voice continued, ignoring my perplexed look.

Since that's a proof of your Holy Grail participation, you will be disqualified if you lose it for any reason.

The explanation got worse. As I hear more and more, I got much more confused. Questions kept raising in my head, but I had a feeling that the man wouldn't answer me properly.

I can understand why you look so lost, but before I forget, allow me to congratulate for achieving your first goal. You have done well. I have to say, that was a clumsy effort to say at least, but that was what made it interesting. I have taken this role for a long time, but you are the most helpless master I saw. Nevertheless, be proud of your achievement. Your stubborn and reckless thoughts made this miracle happen.

Urgh, whoever was talking there, I could imagine an evil smile appearing on his face.

But you are strange. He continued. Even though a lost master like you got a servant of the class that cannot answer any of your question, you give me sort of that feeling... Carrying an unfading light shining inside of you. Probably that's the reason why you refused to give up?

I didn't know what to respond to that. That short phrase, "carrying an unfading light," just struck on me. His words were sincere, making me little bit proud of myself. He was encouraging me rather than making fun of me as he did few seconds ago.

You met a really fitting Servant there. Oh wait, so that's the reason why she chose you. What a perfect matching duo.

I turned to the woman, who was crossing her arms and listening to the whole conversation. She silently grinned, revealing her sharp fangs. I could see an acknowledgement inside her red pupil.

Anyway, you have proved yourself to be worthy of being a master, participating in the Holy Grail War. You have earned your right to exist for now, but, you have a long way to go. You have only took your first step in this long journey.

I still couldn't understand a single thing about what he was saying. Seeing my baffled emotion, the woman gently patted on my shoulder. I looked at her. Her warm expression on her face was calming me down. She didn't say a single word, but deep inside, I could feel what she wanted to say.

It is going to be alright. With you and I, there is nothing to worry about.

After giving her a nod, I looked at the sky once again. This time, my eyes no longer had that hesitation and bewilderment, replaced by determination and resolution given from her. The man gave an exclamation of amazement.

I wish you good luck young master. And now...

Another pain suddenly struck on my hand. The intensive ache made me falter. Although I soon lost my balance, the servant grabbed me before my body fell on the ground. Even though my eyes were slowly beginning to close, a comfortable tenderness inside her eyes chased away my fear and anxiety. I comfortably closed my eyes. I had no idea what kind of destiny was waiting for me, but with her, I had a feeling that could go through anything. As my vision started to fade out, I could hear the man's voice for the one last time.

Let the Holy Grail War begin.

Yeah, so this a one shot chapter. I felt like writing one.

I will continue if I want to, but not now. I just don't feel like continuing this.

Seras is my favorite character in Hellsing. I like her more than Alucard due to her character development. Rather than a perfect character like him, I like the ones who continue to mature through out the series. Seras turns from one helpless girl into an amazing vampire. I felt so good when she was reborn as a True Vampire and showed Zorin what she was made of! No wonder you got your power directly from No Life King! However, please don't be mistaken. It doesn't mean that I don't like Alucard. He is such a badass, but I just prefer Seras. That's all.

The reason I made Seras as berserker is that I don't think any of other classes fit her. Archer? Yeah, may be, since she uses firearms, but uh... Archer with a gun... Uh-huh. How fitting.

If I choose to continue this story, this will be her parameter. Haven't decided on Skills and Noble Phantasms.

Character Matrix

Class: Berserker
Master: Hakuno Kishinami (Male)
Identity/True Name: Seras Victoria
Alignment: Lawful Good (Currently Lawful Mad)

Strength: B (A due to Mad Enhancement)
Endurance: C (B due to Mad Enhancement)
Agility: A+
Mana: B
Luck: E+

Mad Enhancement: D+
Strength and Endurance levels are increased by one level. She can still feel and express her emotion, fully understand other people's speech, and differentiate between enemies and allies. However, she completely lost her ability to speak and have complex thoughts. She will fight mostly instinct and will need master's help on tactics. Although she originally had higher rank of mad enhancement, it is downgraded for her master's sake. Hakuno is not really a good master. Going above that will drain his mana too quickly. (Recall what happened to Matou Kariya in Fate/Zero series...)

Also, Alucard only appear from flashbacks. Why? Well, do you guys seriously think Seras and Hakuno can win against Alucard? Yeah, it's impossible, so NO.

Anyway, that's it folks! Please tell me how you feel about this! See you guys later!

Sincerely and best regards,
Blue Salamander