Always Happens to Me

THUMP.

I groaned. The impact of landing on the hard ground made my spine scream.

"Nghhh," I moaned, lifting a heavy hand from the dirt below my fingernails to bring them to cup my forehead. I froze when I heard voices. I tried to open my eyes but saw that instead of the London Underground I was in a field...why was I in a field?

"…was that?" a loud voice asked, distinctly male.

"Well considering we are walking towards it, dobe, it means we don't know either," another male, annoyance was obvious in his deep condescending voice.

Well that was a great fucking use to me.

"For ninja, you are awfully loud when you are sneaking to investigate something," a bored man's voice rumbled.

Ninja? Oh my god, was I kidnapped by some cult?

"Ah Kakashi-sensei, no bad nin here in Konoha, and anyway as the next Hokage-" the voice was cut off by an equally loud thump followed by a cry of pain and a sigh from someone else.

"AHHHH! SAKURA NOT SO HARD!"

I tried to lever myself but after lots of shaking, my arms crumbled beneath me and I flopped back onto the ground. Groaning again, both the throbbing in my brain and the agony racing itself all over my body in competition to see which would hurt more. I quietened trying to listen for the voices again.

"Naruto, I think we have more things to be concerned with like that girl lying in the middle of the training ground," the mild voice came out.

Yeah focus on her and I can get away...I blinked and through my hazy vision as far as I could see, I was the only one there. Oh shit. I flinched my fight to get my arms underneath me renewed, but basically had the same results: I was too weak. I forced myself to prop myself up by the elbows, but the nausea was too great and I flopped onto my side gagging.

There was a fury of voices. Another argument but frankly, I barely managed to prop myself on my elbow but felt the familiar roiling of my stomach. Vomiting again, the agony brought tears to my eyes. Whimpering, I felt my shaking arms about to give way.

Oh God, don't let me land in it. Never have I been so drunk that I've landed in sick or been sick over myself. It was my point of pride but that was going to end soon since my elbows creaked their complaint. Shutting my eyes, I didn't want to look.

However, just as my arms were about to give way, a hard arm encircled my waist to drag me gently away. At the contact, it was like everything was in sharper focus, the sharp smell of my sick. The smell of pine trees. Then violets. But the most noticeable was the scent of spearmint and tea tree. The dirt under my hands seemed to become more defined as it scrabbled against my skin.

It was like I finally fit in my skin. I gasped, like I had taken a snort of reality making me aware of the lethargy of my limbs. I wish I had the energy to fight but instead I slumped into my captor. Perfect.

I sighed as they lay me back down, the loss of contact was like I had lost everything from its high definition, it had become muted. Not exactly the sickness in my stomach though unfortunately. Whatever they drugged me with was strong stuff. I moaned into the ground.

It was only when I felt light hands on my stomach did I think to open my eyes, I strained to sit upwards to defend myself but my stomach rolled. I quickly pitched myself to the side as I retched. Closing my eyes again, I gave in. If this was how I was going to go there wasn't much I could do in this state.

"Easy, easy," a female voice soothed. "I couldn't feel anything, my chakra can't penetrate hers, we need to take her to the hospital."

"Hn," someone thought to helpfully put in.

"Sorry," I mumbled, trying to put my hand out to do what in my state, I don't know what. But it was the thought that counted right?

Silence greeted my statement and I lowered my arm as the limb began to shake and add to the acid boiling in my stomach. I didn't want to open my eyes in case it brought on another bout of vomit to show how pathetic I was really.

"Is she drunk?" someone whispered.

I wanted to answer but found my stomach contracting again, a pain that had me flinching. Please don't throw up, please don't throw up-

I haltingly opened my eyes to see the sun blaring in my face. I hissed, flinching back into the dirt, feeling the scrape of dirt into the bare skin of my back. Wait… bare skin of my back? Patting my body tiredly and while there was a sense of some clothing, I wasn't stupid not to feel the cuts and slashes in the clothes. Especially in the more wanting for modesty parts of my body.

I tried to roll into a ball but found that my legs hurt the most now and cried out. Priorities: Stay still as possible, modesty later.

"We definitely need to get her to a hospital."

Hands touched my back and I moaned again, no energy to flinch away. The slight movement tickled my throat and forced me to cough. This was a terrible decision on my body's part as I felt my stomach trying to force more bile up and it was only through sheer force of will that I stopped and mangled out words that sounded like nothing.

"Gonna be sick," I mumbled again.

"Say that again?" the female asked.

"Sick," I raised my hand limply to point at my mouth. "Sick."

She gasped and I felt hands on my knee and my opposite hand rolling me over to my side which was marginally better but my insides still felt like multiple razors shredding through my abdomen. Not even my period ever hurt this much before. The position slightly eased the pinched feeling of my stomach. I groaned again.

"Kakashi, pick her up, Naruto run ahead of us to the hospital and Sasuke report this to the Hokage," Sakura ordered, shadows moving over my closed eyelids. "I'll stay with Kakashi to escort her to hospital."

My eyelids fluttered and through the blur of light I saw a feminine feature come through. Bright green eyes and bubble gum pink hair.

"Your hair's pink!" I mumbled my arm struggling to want to stroke the hair.

"Yes," lips said but I couldn't really focus anymore.

I felt another figure drop beside me and I flinched weakly into Sakura.

"Can you walk?" the mild voice asked beside me. I peered up through my lashes and in an instant I couldn't look away.

Grey hair wildly mussed like an incurable case of sex hair, he had this weird kind of eye patch that reminded me of a roguish pirate had they not been discussing being ninja. But what drew me in was the black mask covering his lower face and his dark grey eye was crinkled in what I could assume a smile. I wagged my head with the little energy I had.

"Are you sure I should carry her?" He directed the question to the pink haired woman before me.

I didn't bother to listen to the response, letting my head loll back. Let me pass out, let me pass out, I prayed. My body tried slumping forward which was a bad plan but I couldn't fight gravity with the way I was. Just as I was about to pitch forward again, a familiar hard forearm caught me about the waist. At the point of contact it was like a rushing wave crashing inside my body, the sharpening of the world around me. As I fell into the arm my other hand that wasn't trapped against a bulky green vest, automatically grabbed a muscled bicep for support.

I allowed my head to flop onto the bumpy chest too as I became woozy and it was like the rush of the five senses became stronger. I could see the exact colour of green and the threads woven on his vest, I could smell a masculine scent with a mixture of spearmint and tea tree flooding up my nostrils. The roiling of my stomach, the block-headed feeling in my scalp, the pins and needles in my feet. I wanted to throw up again. The owner's other arm encased my waist to stop me from falling backwards.

"Maybe I should just carry you," Kakashi chuckled, and I felt myself nodding into the rough fabric where faintly I felt his voice rumbling through my entire being.

The arm around my waist tightened and supported me as another captured my knees together securely. He kept talking but his mellow voice was enough to will me to sleep. If these guys were part of some weird cult or drug group, they couldn't be too bad if they were taking me to hospital. I allowed my body to slump further into his embrace.

Although my senses were strong, I felt mentally drained so it was easy to fall asleep even though the sickening rocking motion.

…o0o…

"Hokage?" a voice called to Tsunade, she turned from her view out of the window to look at the team in front of her. "What should we do?"

She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face tiredly. Where did this girl come from? That was a good question. How did she leave a crater in the ground and have no visible body damage? Another good question.

However the thing that worried Tsunade the most was: how did this girl, undoubtedly a civilian keep up her chakra as a body shield even in unconscious? Or better yet, able to resist any kind of healing touch because of this?

"Kakashi?" she turned her gaze to the pervert, slouching near the window, classically reading his orange covered book.

"Hmmm?" he responded, snapping his book closed as he turned his droopy eye gaze to his Hokage.

"You have room in your flat, don't you?"

"By room you mean I have a double bed and a couch, then yes," Kakashi said after a pause.

"Well," Tsunade paused, "You are going to house her until I figure out what to do."

Kakashi wagged his head. "No can do. Make these guys do it."

Tsunade mirrored his actions.

"Sasuke's wrath makes him no good with reconnaissance," she gave a wry smile, "Naruto was Jiraiya's student, so is too perverted to look after a weak woman," The Hokage continued despite Naruto's protested "Hey!"

"While Sakura is an incredible med nin, it means she won't be around often to keep tabs on her. Then I'm afraid, I doubt the council would be willing to fund the housing of a possible missing nin. Don't even get me started on the extortionate prices. You are the most logical option."

Kakashi's grey brow had risen higher and higher throughout her reasoning until now it was in his unruly hairline. He opened his mouth to protest but the big breasted woman cut him off.

"This is not up for negotiation," Tsunade's voice hardened.

He closed his mouth with a snap and with an indifferent shrug he answered, "Yes… Hokage-sama."

Sakura opened her mouth to protest but Tsunade cut her off. "You, Sakura, are to get her clothes in which to stay at Kakashi's."

Sakura hesitated for a fraction before squaring her shoulders, "Yes, shishou."

She nodded in satisfaction, "alright, dismissed."

…o0o…

The next time I woke, it was because the sunlight was in my eyes. I winced and covered my face with my hand, the momentary darkness a relief.

Preparing myself, I squinted and saw the orange tendrils of sunset. Pushing myself forward, the expected roil of nausea was non-existent. Happy, I let my head loll to the shady part of the room to rest my eyes. Though my fear of hospitals ran through my veins, I couldn't find the usual energy to haul my arse out of there. Even though I had been sleeping for a while if there was any indication from the setting sun, all I felt was tired.

Taking inventory of what I had, which wasn't a whole lot, I surveyed my room. Not much in it other than the heart monitor and a curtain ready to circle my bed. It was weird, I was left in my own room.

I could feel my body about to sink into sleep when I heard a knock at my door. I lifted my head blearily. The grey-haired man and Sakura walked in. I tensed.

Sakura smiled, "well you are looking better," she complimented.

Weakly, I smiled.

"I am Hatake Kakashi and this is Haruno Sakura," The grey-haired man, gestured to himself and the doctor next to him.

I nodded a little.

"I'm Jenny," I croaked, my vocal chords not been used for a while.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, circling to my bed.

"Tired."

"Any pain in your lower limbs? Abdominal pain?" Sakura asked, her hands flipping through the paper on her clip board.

I shook my head.

"Where am I?" I asked. "Which hospital am I at?

Sakura cocked her head and shifted a glance at Kakashi. He drew a chair beside me, his hands clasped between his knees.

"Is there anyone we can send for you?" he asked instead.

Oh, of course my parents must have been worried sick.

"Uhm, yeah Tom and Mary Webbs," I rasped, rattling off their address and phone number. "Which hospital am I at? St George's?"

Kakashi and Sakura frowned and glanced at each other again.

"What?" I asked, a growing pain in my chest. "What's wrong?"

"How much do you remember?" Sakura hedged, circling to the other side of the bed, her hand grabbing my wrist to count my pulse.

"Um, an explosion?" My brow furrowed. "Then I woke up with you guys surrounding me."

Sakura nodded.

"You're at Konoha's hospital, you were admitted yesterday evening," her eyes were shrewd. "Where is St George's hospital?"

My frown deepened.

"I haven't heard of Konoha and how could you not have heard of London's biggest hospital?"

"London?" Kakashi interjected. "You're in Konoha."

What were these guys talking about? Was this a joke? My eyes surreptitiously searched for cameras. There were none. Then what was this?

"Did you hit your head when you fell?" Sakura asked more alarmed now, a hand bringing out a flash light to my eye. "Don't stare directly in the light, please."

Did I hit my head? But…I remember things that weren't associated with this place. Mum, dad, Neil and Louise. I mean why would my mind make up something like Louise? That would be pretty twisted. No, these guys had to be lying.

Scowling, I swept my feet out of the bed.

"I didn't hit my head, I know I am right," I snapped before I called out. "Alright, you can come out now!"

It had to be a hidden camera show, but this wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. Kakashi grabbed me before I could get out of the bed and pinned me back. Everything overwhelmed me with the stench of disinfectant, the spearmint and tea tree. My eyes rolled back in my head-

"She's stabilized, we've reduced the bleeding in the brain but," someone sighed. "We don't know if she's going to wake up, I'm going to be straight with you, she is not likely to-

I reeled slumping back into the hospital bed, my body flinching away from the feel of the scratchy hospital bed sheets. Gasping, I could feel the darkness swamp over me again.

…o0o…

"I thought you said she was okay," Kakashi accused as he tucked Jenny back into the bed.

Sakura flipped furiously through her papers.

"She should be," her eyes scanned lines of data. "Everything came back normal, it could be residual effects of hitting the ground that hard. She shouldn't have healed this fast but maybe her memory was lost or she was mentally insane in the first place?"

She shook her head.

"We'll keep her overnight for observation but there's not much else we can do," placing Jenny's board back into its respective slot she inclined her head to the door. "You coming or what?"

Kakashi shook his head. There was something lucid about the woman in front of him.

"I'm going to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid," he reclined further in his seat, his book flipping out to the correct page.

Sakura shifted on her feet.

"Oh, okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

The door shut behind her.

…o0o…

When I next awoke, I had a raging headache. Rocking my head side to side I tried to find some water when lo and behold, one was being held under my nose. Lifting my head, I looked over to see Kakashi still sitting next to me. My guard now.

"Thanks," I rasped as I delicately took the glass from him, careful not to make any contact.

After the water was on my tongue, I gulped greedily soothing the pain of my throat. Kakashi obediently filled my glass every time until my stomach sloshed enough and I gasped. The man next to me removed my cup and reclined back in his seat again.

We were both silent. I stared at him. He seemed not to notice as he flipped the page on a worn book. There was a huge sticker warning R18+. I raised my eyebrows. Who knew this man would be into erotica? It was my favourite genre but not exactly something you read in public for some light reading.

He also had that stupid mask on his face. If my delusion was worth anything, my imagination was definitely consistent with characterisation although it didn't explain why all the other "ninjas" didn't wear masks. And this man looked more like a rogue pirate than a ninja.

"Any good?" I piped up.

Kakashi lifted his one good eye and raised a perfectly plucked grey eyebrow. How did he even maintain that kind of manscaping? I nodded down at his book.

"Any good?" I repeated.

He cocked his head to the side.

"It's good," he replied noncommittedly.

I swallowed the need to sigh. Clearly this man could work on his social skills.

"If you are going to being my guard," I couldn't help saying after a minute or so of silence. "You really need to work on your bed side manner."

Kakashi raised his head again.

"Guard?"

I rolled my eyes once before a headache that had been brewing my temple flashed its annoyance for doing that with my eyes. I grimaced, gripping my temple.

"Yeah," I gestured around us. "It's clear I'm not exactly allowed to leave, am I?"

"Of course you are, you just had to be held for observation last night," he snapped his book shut. "I'll go to see if there's a doctor."

After he left the room, I swung my legs out and stood. Wobbling for a moment, I waved my hands out for balance. After I stabilised I surveyed the quality of my hospital gown and its usefulness to escape. I tugged at the short hem of my hospital gown. While I was relatively short to Kakashi, so they must have had midgets in mind when they designed those stupid gowns because it felt like it barely covered anything on my five foot frame.

Sighing, I sat back down. There wasn't much I could do and I heard the horror stories of yanking out an IV so I was stuck there until the doctor came to do it for me. The door opened and I glanced over my shoulder expecting Sakura, but instead I had a doctor I didn't know who asked the standard questions.

He checked my eyes, pulse, blood pressure. Everything was fine. I could go.

"I'll let you sign out with Hatake as he is your new roommate," the doctor said distractedly, ticking papers on his clipboard.

I blinked.

"Pardon?"

The doctor glanced up before turning to the papers again.

"Kakashi Hatake is your new roommate as declared by the Hokage," he said. "I assume you don't know where you live or who your real family is?"

"I know who my family is!" I replied hotly, wanting to stamp my foot but knowing the tantrum would not win me any points.

The doctor continued to give me a tired look saying I've been up longer than twelve hours, are you really arguing with me? I spread my stance, trying to mimic a power stance. That shit worked right? Sighing, the doctor pinched the bridge of his nose.

"The people you listed as your family don't exist here," he responded bluntly. "And as such we are treating you as a Jane Doe, so following procedure, we're placing you with one of our ninjas, who then in turn looks after you with your allowance for if and when your memory returns."

He snapped his pen closed and picked up a pile of clothes that I hadn't noticed on the bed before shoving them into my chest.

"So please," he gestured to the door where Kakashi was staring at his book. "Get dressed and come to the front desk where Hatake will be signing you out."

With a sniff, he flounced out snapping his fingers at Kakashi to follow.

I gaped before I looked down at clothes I was holding in my limp grip. What was up with that? I just had to accept that I was living with a man I didn't know? What about Sakura? I shook my head. Clothes first, plan later.

They hadn't given me much to work with but as I bent to pull the plain black trousers on my hair flicked over my shoulder into my face. Now usually that wouldn't be a problem since I have mousy brown hair…but this hair was blue. As in as blue as a kingfisher feather. I grabbed a chunk holding it closer to my eye line as if closer inspection will suddenly change the hue.

Did these bastards dye my hair while I was asleep? I sniffed it. Didn't smell of ammonia. What the fuck was going on?

I shook my head, no this wasn't normal. Everyone here wasn't normal, they were all in ninja garb. I couldn't be insane. I couldn't dream something like that and only wake up…right? I stared down at my hands. Maybe I wasn't Jenny Webbs like I thought? Maybe I was actually from here and I was dreaming all of that other stuff?

If so, it was very realistic.

The fabric under my hands felt real. I glanced over at the mirror I saw in the corner of the room to see my usual pale skin but that was where the resemblance ended from my (dream?) reality? Where in real life I had mousy brown hair, copper sulphide lengthened my hair until it was down to my hips when I was used to having my hair around my shoulders. My usually muddy green eyes were now an ethereal blue.

At least my slightly large nose and high cheekbones were the same. Great.

I leaned forwards before I gasped. What happened to my eyebrows! I traced my finger along my dark eyebrows, horrified. I tweezered those last night! Or I thought I had because with the monstrosities sitting above my eyes, it was like I hadn't plucked them in…years.

I frowned, my legs suddenly not figuring out how to fight gravity again and I fell onto the bed. I could feel my chest getting tight with anxiety. There was more and more evidence leading to the fact that I was in reality more than my life (dream?) before. Sucking in a shaky breath, I nodded to myself. Clothes first, plan later.

Tugging my t-shirt over myself, I noted that my scars criss-crossing over my arms were mysteriously absent. In my dream (life?) they were there, but where were they now? Clearly I had dreamt/thought it was real. So what were they from really?

Finishing putting on my socks and some plimsolls, I peered my head around the corner where I saw Kakashi and Sakura talking. They were pretty close. Were they lovers? Friends? Relatives? Who cared?

I glanced down the other end of the corridor to see there was a sign to a fire exit. I glanced back at Kakashi. Like hell I was going to stay with him. If this was my reality, surely, I would know my way around right? In my dream I was always directionally challenged, this was my reality now though. I would be fine.

Glancing back one more time, I sprinted down that hallway and away from my certain home and money.

…o0o…

"I think your charge is escaping," Sakura teased leaning back against the desk. "Aren't you going after her?"

Kakashi's eye crinkled as he stared after the blue haired girl racing down the hallway to find another way out.

"Might as well give her a head start," he shrugged. "You said this always happens?"

She mimicked him and shrugged.

"More often than not they follow along like lambs," she checked a clipboard handed to her. "But sometimes there are those who just don't want to follow."

Sighing, she handed back the signed sheet before placing her hands in her lab coat pockets.

"So are you gonna pick me up tonight?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Depends what time the runaway figures out an answer," he sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If she finishes before your shift, I'll be here."

Nodding, Sakura blushed, toeing the ground.

"Okay, you should go and get her now probably."

When she went to say goodbye, the Copy Nin was already nowhere to be found.

…o0o…

Gone. It was all gone. Was my entire life made up? Was this what I was meant to have? I was on the verge of tears. Nothing looked familiar. Nothing. Was this made up? What about the purple vortex? But then that could be escaping the dream? Reality? Did I ever understand anything?

Was I insane?

Gasping, I pressed my hand to my chest. Oh God, I was going to have a panic attack. Let it not be here, not here please. I spied the alley way and quickly ducked in, squatting down my hand on the grimy floor and the other shoving into my chest as if to shove my heart back through my skin.

Why was this happening? What did I even know? How did I get back to the hospital? I needed to be put in a psyche ward, I couldn't tell the difference from left or right, up or down. I needed to get back to the hospital. The light was fading. I was somewhere near a residential area, I ran for a solid hour, getting away.

My heart sped again. I swallowed, evening my breathing. I was fine. I was fine. I was fine. I kept repeating to myself when I heard the scrape of a stone. Straightening, I held my hand up, while trying to rub the evidence of my tears away. Kakashi stood there, his black eye a whirlpool to descend in. Like madness. I swallowed the next lump in my throat.

"Help me," I croaked, my knees wobbling.

There was the familiar buzz following the panic attack. Shit, I was going to faint. Please don't let me faint, please don't let me faint. Please, please, please, plea-

My breath stuttered and the white noise took over leaving the last thing I saw arms reaching towards me.