How I wished I was a first year again, getting onto the train with excitement and fire in my belly, feeling nothing but content and joy. Walking into the world of wizardry with nothing to fear but what my teachers would be like and how well I would do in my subjects that first year. Yeah, that's bullshit, first year is always rubbish, no matter how big the hype is for it. I was in my second to last year at Hogwarts, I guessed that why I would like to be in first year again, I'm not going to get that chance again... Somehow, I wish did.

I had just ran through the wall to get to platform 9 and 3/4, I stumbled slightly on the step onto the train, having been too busy watching the first years say goodbye to their parents and buzz with excitement, I heard a few giggles from behind (my own fault for being so nostalgic, I guess). Of course they would laugh, they were first years, and I didn't expect any different really. They would laugh at everything and have a good time. It was really my own fault for being such a clumsy girl, if not a little unstable on my feet for most of the time.

And here I am another year at Hogwarts, a year of quiet rebellion and constant worry. Last year had been bad enough, Harry nearly died at the hands of Voldemort yet again, there was no escaping it, he was coming. Nobody could stop him, Harry and his little trio of friends would try though, of course (the brain - Hermione Granger, the moral support - Ron Weasley, and finally the leader - Harry Potter). Not to mention Cedric Diggery's death, oh that was the worst thing about last year. It was just after Harry came back with the port key, God it was sickening. The thick stench of blood still makes me want to throw up now, I try to keep my mind of Cedric.

I remember seeing his cold dead eyes staring up, Harry was clinging to him like some poor demented soul, crying out to keep him close. I almost felt sorry for him.

Almost. I never really had a 'thing' for Harry Potter, he was a mere associate more than anything else and an enemy of Slytherin house. I didn't particularly want to see him and I think the feeling was mutual. He was in Griffendor, I was in Slytherin, what more is there that I could say, we shared a few words but never anything much. I'm not saying I don't have sympathy for Harry Potter, but he just dumps himself into all of it. So it really isn't any of my fault. I think he has a hero complex or something.

Soon I was continuing my journey towards the end of the train, towards my compartment at 'our' end of the train, and by 'our' I mean the Slytherin's, but I never really got on with any of them either, especially not Draco Malyfoy... If I could keep as far away from him as possible that would be great, but I had the overwhelming sensation that this year would be the same as last. In all his classes, sitting beside him, getting called pitiful names that he would come up with, (probably a lack of things to do in his spare time).

I couldn't stand that bleach blond haired boy, his cream skin making him look like he hadn't been out in the sun in years. His piercing blue eyes, that never seemed to miss that I was shifting nervously under the gaze of them. He was tall, taller than me, at least by 3 inches or so. His lean muscular chest was hard to miss though, and I was always catching my self eyeing him over the table, and biting my lower lip, turning away and blushing furiously if he ever caught me looking. It was ridiculous, and I really disliked myself for it.

I walked into something hard, blocking the path to my compartment, looking up to see those cold blue eyes glaring down at me, speaking of the devil. He was looking at me as if I had done a crime and gotten away with it too. I tried to glare back, thinking I just about managed a scowl at him. Or at least I hopped I did.

"What do you want, Malfoy" I hissed, trying to push past the solid figure in front of me, but after a few seconds of him moving in my path I sighed deeply and met his eyes again, not that I really wanted to. "Nothing, Matthews" he drawled back, going to continue his sentence "you're the one who got in my way." He spoke clearly, as if I was some kind of infant who was incapable of understanding. My God, I almost snorted, if anybody was an infant it was him. Oh baby Draco must talk to his daddy about everything. He's such a big kid.

My thoughts consumed me and I closed my eyes for a second in annoyance, nothing with that blonde bastard could ever be easy to win, so I often just resorted to mumbling an apologetic word or two and continuing on my way. However today I was tired and lonesome, I didn't feel like giving up. Besides I was in the mood for a bit of a row with gave him the right to boss me about?

"And who made this your train Draco, oh wait, daddy buy it for you?" I laced my sentence with heavy sarcasm dripping from every word. To be honest though, he probably did think he owned the train. He made a grunt of frustration, before coming up with his retort, well more of an insult. At least he was good at those "At least my parents didn't abandon me." The second it was out I felt the anger boil in my stomach, rising through my body before I could slow it down, feeling it reach my muscles before it reached my brain. Common sense was lost as I rose my hand and slapped him straight across the face. That was where I drew the line, he would never get away with that.

I heard the sound clearly, a nice loud slap sound, as my hand had collided with his cheek and I pushed past him, he was obviously too stunned to follow me or say anything to make my blood boil more. That felt good. Damn him for getting me riled up all on the first day too! Damn his pure blooded ass.

So I let my anger get the better of me, who cares, I couldn't stand letting him just talk to me like that. It would drive me insane, but it's not like its the first time that that had happened. That I let my anger get the best of me and it burst out. I was a bit of a hot head, but I couldn't care less, it matched me and whoever couldn't deal with it, well that was their problem, not mine. Okay, so it may get me into trouble, so what. I don't care!

I sat down in the cabin, putting my trunk up above my seat and looking around the quiet little room. It relaxed me, the quietness of my small little space, nobody came in or out and people left me alone. Silence, that was the way I liked it and nobody dared to break it when I was there, particularly when I was in a bad mood. That was a recipe for catastrophe, and even I knew that. Well at least there was one person who would always know how to calm me down, thoughts of my mum always calmed me, even if she wasn't there.

My mother, one of the most beautiful women in the Wizarding world, she could change and be whatever she liked, she was a metamorphmagus you see. But she always told me that it was what was on the inside that counts (how pathetic, right?). I guess she's right, but it's cliche and I can't stand it. I much prefer to say fuck off and get over it. How my mother taught me well.

"My train of though was disrupted yet again as I felt a jolt go through the carriage I was sat in. I was still on the train still, it was taking a long time, mind you I was used to the train there and back and it did take a bloody long time. But as long as nobody didn't bother me then I guess it wasn't all together too important, I had to change into my robes anyway, the perfect shade of green lining them as I slipped it on, feeling the soft material flow over my shoulders as I took my seat again. Ugh green lining... It just remained me of that posh bastard.

I can't believe Malfoy had said that to me, he knew that my parents where such a sensitive topic, I had just wanted to punch him right in his god damn balls, my blood was bubbling inside my body again, attempting to get to my fists, which were clenched so tight I could feel my nails drawing blood from my hands. How much of a jerk could one guy be, he drove me right to my limit, if not further, he was walking on thin ice that was only melting as he walked over it. For all I cared he could fall in and have the ice freeze over his head, it just drove me insane the way I would never hold a grudge against him, I almost seemed to me helping him out of the water. I mentally sighed at myself, I was no good at staying angry with people, including Malfoy, even if he was the most pushy, annoying, stuck up jerk I had ever met in my entire life! I was exasperated at my own incompetence to hold my ground and give him the silent treatment or something. I hope we get there soon so I can stop being in a small place with him, where I can't get out.

"I stared out of the window for a few minutes, I couldn't even see the castle yet, I groaned in annoyance, this was going to be a long journey. Then, to my up most surprise I heard a light knock on the door, oh great, I thought rubbing the back of my head, making my dark brown hair fall over my face.

"Come in" I mumbled, knowing it was just about audible to who ever my intruder was. They walked in, shutting the door behind them quickly, like they where scared they were going to get caught talking to me, it was most likely the truth. I then looked up at the person now sitting opposite to me, he was clearly a boy, a Slytherin, my eyes dawdled up his figure. I couldn't help thinking he had a toned and he looked flawless up to his neck, my eyes then connecting with his face.

'Oh shit'

I remember the words vividly coming into my head before they were quickly dismissed and I shook my head. Those blue eyes that clashed with my brown ones, that was all that it took to send me to the edge and back again, and not in a good way. I stared into them for a while, my eyes washing over his features, his feathery white hair that seemed to frame his face in such a perfect way, it was almost too good to be true, I guess it's true that the devil really is good looking.

"Hey, Sarah! Are you even listening to me?" His tone was clearly one of frustration and an after thought of anger was laced into the end, but his voice still washed over me. I couldn't care less if the stupid child was angry, that was his problem, along with the stick that was shoved so far up his ass I could have sworn it must have given him brain damage.

"Sorry," I said in a less than apologetic voice, "I wasn't listening, maybe you should stop being such an asshole." I mumbled out the last part in a low whisper, so he couldn't hear me. He glared at me, his agitation getting the best of him.

"I was saying," he began, his voice raising, not the type to say things twice, especially not to me, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"A smirk crawled onto my face, Draco Malfoy, apologising? This must have been some sort of dream. A rumble went through my chest and after a few seconds I realised I was laughing, and quite loudly at that, but I couldn't help it, he never apologised! I could tell by the look on his face his blood had began to boil and I stopped laughing after a few seconds of stifling my giggling. That was rich. I wish I could have got a picture so they could put it onto the front of the daily profit. 'Rare sighting of Draco Malfoy apologizing' it would be a must read.

"Sorry, it's just you don't apologize to people, let alone me." I smiled across at him and cast a side ways glance out of the window, "you should go, don't want to get caught with the temperamental brunette, do you?" I snorted, looking over him as he stood up, nodding In my direction and opening the door, "bye... Oh and Malfoy, this doesn't mean that we can be friends." A smug look graced his features, and he snorted in that vile way that he did.

"I wouldn't dream of it Mathews." He retorted, and left the compartment with an air of arrogance that was impossible to miss. The slam of the door cut off my insult. However judging by the fact he had a somewhat offended look on his face he had probably caught most of it.

My brow furrowed as soon as he had left and I swear to Salazar I nearly hit my head against the wood of the door frame. How stupid could I be, he just walked all over me, and he didn't even have to try. Not one bit. I grumbled, letting my chest heave in a deep sigh, what on earth was I doing?

The train arrived at Hogwarts closely after that, all of the first years hopping on the boats with Hagrid, a smile slipped onto my face, I remember the first time I saw this place. It was probably one of my favourite memories.

I had jumped off the train with excitement, standing with Luna. I used to be her best friend, we had clasped hands and ran over to a boat, getting into on with some kids I really can't recall. They weren't important though, all that matted was me and Luna back then. As I remember, we sat down in the boats, they were obviously enchanted, but I had such a shock when they started moving I almost fell out straight into the water. I grabbed Luna and she caught me before I fell out. It was lucky I didn't, I would have missed being placed into a house, wall at least for the formal ceremony. I had heard the laughs behind me and flushed a dark shade of pink but sat back down and quickly forgot it, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to really notice it too much.

The boats had easily glided across to the school, it was large and majestic, by far the most beautiful castle I had ever seen in my whole life, I saw more of the finer details as we got closer, the intricate carvings in the parts of wood on the doors and around the edges of the windows, the statues on the walls that were too pretty to be called gargoyles. I had a good feeling I was going to get on with people here, without a doubt! At least that's what I had thought back then.

I walked into the great hall, looking around at all four tables, on the far left side of the hall the Slytherin's sat, with here emerald green robes, they all seemed to be too busy with scrutinising us, next was the Hufflepuffs, they all seemed nice, the sunshine yellow colour on their robes kind of clashed with the green of the Slytherin's, but at the same time they balanced each other out. I then glanced over to the other side, I saw the royal blue of Ravenclaw and instantly knew i wasn't going to be in that house, I was not smart, I certainly wouldn't have fitted in, mind you I don't think I would fit in with the Hufflepuff's either, they were loyal. Loyalty was one of the things I did the worst, I couldn't make up mind ever, scared to commit to somebody. That left two houses, and one of them I was looking at, there was the Griffendoor's, sat there in crimson red robes, they all seemed friendly, welcoming and smiled at the first years, I was drawn in by their aura. I blinked a few times as the group came to a halt at the front of the hall.

Stopping almost immediately I felt a small bump behind me, turning around I came face to face with a blonde boy, his hair was slicked back, away from his face, he was only a few inches away and for a moment I thought his hair looked a similar shades to Luna's. He was looking at me with a slightly cold glare, his sharp blue eyes seeming to look right through me, the only word that came to mind was 'Malfoy' when I was looking at him. I remember I had half gasped and let out a rushed apology, it was quick and I had nearly jumped out of my skin, quickly turning the other way. The Malfoy family had close connections to mine, through reasons unknown to me at the time of course. I just knew we had to stay on good terms with them and I was not to talk down to him, my parents where always fussing over me being on my best behaviour when we had went off to their mansion, I had always complied, being the best I could and sticking close to them.

I was jabbed harshly in the ribs by Luna and I snapped out of it, my name was called and I had quickly made my way up and sat down, looking down at all the first years, I glanced around. The hat was placed on my head, it was making some mumbling I could hear it crossing off houses until it came to the houses that sat on the two opposite sides. My mind was blank for a second till the Slytherin's seemed to burst into life, I had never even heard what the sorting hat had said, but I guessed it was them by the way they had suddenly made such a movement, I was the first one to join their house.

That was when I was happier, and I guess I didn't have as much to worry about. Nobody was complex in first year and it seemed to be so easy. I stepped of the train with my bags and looked around. Was I really ready for another year here? I suppose there was only one way to find out. Sarah was just going to have to go out and live it.

A/N - anyway this is the end of chapter 1 I hope you liked it, later :p