Author's notes:

Hi, Cohali here, posting my first SnK fanfiction. Please bear with me, I haven't posted anything to fanfiction in 6 years! Under a different pen name which bless it's soul had collected dust. Poor thing.

I have tried to keep this storyline close to canon, yet there will be gaps and timeline errors, I'm sure. I also want to point out that I do not own any rights to SnK, I only borrowed their characters. Lovingly.

Anyways, here we go!

~0~

It started with a heartbeat.

Not just any heartbeat, a heartbeat so loud it engulfed every fibre of his being. The noise infiltrated every sense, so loud his body was thrumming. He was vibrating, his fingertips tingled and every hair was at end. His throat strained as he tried to swallow, an uncomfortable weight sliding down into the pit of his stomach.

This tremendous energy had him gasping, but he could hear no sound, just the heartbeat. This heartbeat was the very core of his current existence. His eyes searched frantically, only to be met with darkness. A darkness he had never known, so disorientating he didn't know if his eyes were open at all, it suffocated the air around him, dense as it swirled slowly leaving no light behind. He felt his body pulsing, as though sapping energy from the darkness, sapping to the metronome of this heartbeat.

His teeth grinded heavily against each other, muscles tensed and fists clenching on their own accord. A strange sound broke through the silence, it confused him and he narrowed his eyes at the sound, it disrupted the heartbeat, an unstable sound that had him on edge.

Again he looked around and saw nothing, the heartbeat picked up pace, he thought this energy was going to explode out of him, until he realized…

The sound was from him.

He was growling.

Through his clenched teeth came a feral sound so strange to his own ears that he thought it was a foreign entity. So rabid in nature his senses saw it as an immediate threat. He focused on trying to quell the sound, yet it appeared to aggravate it further, to the point where he was screaming at the top of his lungs. Ripped from this scream he could hear two different voices, his own and a much louder entity, so loud it rang that his ears felt violated and sore. It echoed through the expanse darkness, drowning out the heartbeat entirely.

His throat felt hoarse, yet he only gasped for breath then bellowed again. He couldn't stop, and that is when he felt his ankles become constricted, he couldn't see what was happening, but could feel something wrap tightly around his legs, snaking around his lithe body so quickly his heartbeat started hammering against his chest.

What was going on?

Fear flooded through him yet the energy surging through his body overpowered the fear, he felt like he was drowning, it felt like vines were constricting him tightly, climbing higher and higher, encasing his body until it reached the neck. His throat continued to burn as he screamed, screamed and screamed, searching the darkness for clues.

Why?

Why was this happening to me?

The vines pulsed around him, hot and burning to the skin. The heat set alight every nerve ending, scorching him until he thought he'd pass out. It stabbed at him, as though trying to meld itself to him; felt it puncture his skin, grab at his bones, connecting with him. His eyes widened as he realised that these were not vines, the ropy texture felt like muscles, layers and layers of muscles encasing him, connecting to him. Puncturing tanned skin were bones, wedging themselves in and expanding aggressively.

The energy seemed to falter its erratic behaviour for a second, as though sensing the boy's realisation, and he shut his eyes to it, no longer feeling much of anything. As the muscles crept up over his face, at a now leisurely pace, he allowed it. A sweet sense of calm swept the area, his heartbeat slowed, thumping regularly in his chest to the time of the deafening heartbeat.

He slouched forward, feeling wetness to his cheek. Fluttering his eyelids he frowned, a new confusion swept across him, wondering why this sudden tear appeared to be rolling down his moistened cheek.

Oh

That's right.

My mind has accepted it, but my heart cannot.

The boy's heart and body seemed to be in denial, denial of this development. Where his mind had caved and bowed to defeat, the heart had wept for him, for his beliefs, for his soul, his future. He felt empty inside, hollowed out and scraped raw. The pain ebbed and flowed struggling against the raw energy surging through his veins.

He closed his eyes; there was no turning back now.

For he had become yet again what he hated most. If he were stronger, if he were what they needed him to be, then his mind and body would be in unison, rejoicing his triumphs. He felt his body shaking, giving in; giving in to the darkness, giving in to the energy, his knees weak, the muscles straining, pulling him down, into a hunched position, he gasped, feeling sadness pang against his chest.

Before his physical body was immobilised completely, he had one last thought that rang clearly through his mind.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, Mikasa. Armin.

Sorry that you have to see me this way again.

His mind pictured their faces, shock, disappointment…

Fear.

He let out one last shuddering breath before he came to a complete still. This is it, let go.

Become the thing you despise the most in the world, in your existence. Become your Titan.

Become what you truly are. A monster.

Let go.

The silence was deafening, the darkness complete. Nothing existed, nothing at all.

Then, the heartbeat; growing in sound, vibrated so fiercely, so violently. The energy coursing around until the existence shattered, shattered the darkness, shattered the confusion and shattered anything that didn't matter. It twisted into a sound. The sound of a roar that punctured the sky. Muscles convulsed and senses heightened. The ground felt itchy between his toes, a wind gushed around him, whipping his hair affray. A great steam billowed around him, and a heat so intense he felt the air crackle around him.

But it didn't matter.

He could only feel one thing, one emotion running rampant to his core, one emotion that smothered any logical thought that dared to appear.

He was angry.

So infuriatingly irate that it felt animalistic.

As he opened his eyes and surveyed the surroundings from his great height, he waited for his hazy vision to focus. To pinpoint what he was seeking.

Ah.

There.

Titans. The urge to kill and savagely rip apart these creatures was overwhelming; he had to expel his anger, and tilted his head back and bellowed at the sky. Something flittered past his vision, he turned his head as a tiny human landed on a rooftop near him. It was calling to him, shouting at him about a boulder. He was confused, confused and angry and frustrated that this human was in his way. He only wanted to kill, and this annoyance was a distraction. He gazed at the titans in the distance and took a step forward, clenching his fists.

The human called to him again and on instinct he threw a punch to silence it. The human flitted away, a glimpse of red swinging to the next rooftop. A flare shot up a few houses down and was easily dismissed. He turned his attention back to the titans when his vision was suddenly blurred by a human body dangling from his hair. It was shouting at him but he couldn't hear, the sounds muffled as his anger rose. He needed to kill, his clawed fingers twitched and clenched.

This thing was getting in his way. Gritting his teeth, he threw another punch, but immobilised himself, falling hard to the ground. His jarred senses dulled to a strange vision of a table and a human cutting vegetables next to a sink swam into view. The sudden sound of rain pattered against a window, then everything blurred. The only thing he could feel was the rough grain of wood under his human fingertips and a hollowness that overwhelmed him again.

He was tired, so tired of these sensations. So confused and sad and angry…

Maybe he should stay here a while.

Just a little while…

~0~

Eren awoke with a start, he groaned as he sat up, fingers immediately sliding into his hair. He sucked in a few deep breathes, feeling the harsh air through his teeth. He felt the clammy heat cool on his skin and realised he had sweated through his clothes again.

His eyes adjusted to the dim lit room as his heartbeat returned to normal. He peeled his shirt away from his chest so it didn't lay flush against his body as he heard a dull groan as the cell door opened. Furrowing his eyebrows he watched a figure passed through the threshold and into his cell. He pulled his legs out of the covers on his bed and pressed the pads of his feet to the cool stone floor.

His mind was hazy but could feel himself pulling into an alerted state. The sound of keys jangling made Eren pull focus to the new occupant. The Corporal was stood at the foot of his bed, impeccably dressed and observing Eren silently. In his hand he held the keys to Eren's wrist restraints.

Eren lifted one wrist silently and noticed it shaking. He shook his arm out to steady himself and waited for The Corporal to release him.

When there was no immediate action, Eren peered up at The Corporal with a questioning look reflected in his green orbs.

Levi remained silent for a beat longer, calculating a response. He picked an imaginary piece of lint from his arm as he spoke,

"Another nightmare?"

Eren swallowed and immediately slid his gaze to his lap, his extended wrist drooping somewhat. He nodded silently, ashamed to have been caught. He didn't deserve nightmares, especially since it was himself who was the nightmare material.

Levi clucked his tongue but took hold of Eren's wrist to slide the key into the restraint lock. It clicked, echoing across the small windowless room, and the restraint fell to the bed will a dull thud.

Even though this was not the first time to be caught by his keeper having a nightmare, he still expected to be thoroughly questioned. Yet when Levi turned slightly on his heel, and beckoned Eren with a wave of his hand, Eren got to his feet obediently and started to follow, sighing silently in relief.

Levi halted at the threshold, tilting his chin so he was gazing over his shoulder.

Eren immediately stopped, unsure what to do.

"Do you plan to shower without the aid of soap?" A thin eyebrow quirked upright as Levi nodded his head to Eren's small supply of hygiene products. Eren returned to grab his belongings, along with a fresh uniform that had been delivered the night before and walked to The Corporal again. This time Levi nodded and moved aside to let the boy through.

Before Eren had passed him entirely, Levi spoke quietly,

"Eren."

Eren froze, but did not turn to look at the man, he waited, eyes trained on the wall in front of him.

"I would like you to meet me after breakfast; I have matters to discuss with you."

Eren nodded and made his way down to the shower rooms, feeling that with every step he took, The Corporal's eyes bored straight into his back. It was fine by Eren; he would feel more refreshed the next time he saw Levi.

~0~

The shower felt amazing to Eren, glad to be rid from the evidence of the night. His shoulders sagged, letting the cooling water rivulet down his back. He was nervous for this encounter with his keeper, how could he face him? He could hardly look him in the eye. It was nothing against The Corporal, if anything; it was because it was The Corporal that caused Eren to become knotted in the stomach.

This was Humanity's Strongest, the one and only human in their existence that could culminate the Titans with efficiency and without hesitation. He was the only human that the public had to bow their heads to and admire. This trained veteran who countlessly placed his life on the line, no regrets.

…and what was Eren?

A-a….

Eren bit his bottom lip roughly between aching teeth. He had once had a dream, so strong that he could hardly stand being still for any amount of time.

Well, he still had that dream, but somehow, he felt foreign in his own skin every time he dared to compromise with himself about continuing with it. He had wanted to kill every Titan he could slide his blade into. After all, he had trained with the 104th Squad for so many years to become ready.

But now, he—well, he was worthless. He was dangerous, and the public had taken no time in expressing that.

Eren rested his forehead against the cool stone wall of the shower cubicle as flashbacks from Trost bombarded his memories. He vaguely remembered overcoming enough willpower to move a giant boulder and seal the ruined section of the colossal wall, before passing out and being told he had been asleep for four days before thrown into a trial room.

He had remembered peering around that court room, soaking in all the faces of every single person, some strangers, some he had come to known. It was in that room and every day since then that he had realised the most frightening truth of all. Dread had filled his stomach, coiling uncomfortably, empowering every other sensation, even when The Corporal had beaten him down. He had hardly felt the beating; he could only focus on their faces, numb to everything else.

They feared him. They didn't understand him…

He was no longer human in their eyes, he was an enemy, he was one of them. A titan.

A-a… Monster.

The one thing he had vowed to humanity to destroy, to rid them from, and now every single pair of eyes saw him as one.

Since that day, Eren had withdrawn into himself. He became consciously aware of the way people viewed him. He couldn't shut his mind off from continuously accusing others of thinking differently about him. His fellow comrades, his class that had trained with him, the newly appointed guards…

The only people who seemed genuinely unchanged were Armin and Mikasa, who stood unshakingly at his side, with perhaps that crazy scientist Hanji…

…and the only person he had encountered whose disposition on the subject he couldn't grasp was The Corporal, his only childhood hero.

As Eren towelled himself dry, he wondered whether that was the reason he felt nervous around Humanity's Strongest, the man stayed unwaveringly neutral to Eren, neither unkind nor particularly friendly with him. Despite this and despite the nerves, Eren often found the company of The Corporal welcoming on days.

When the whispers grew too loud, or when he felt death was but one decision away from the ever lurking council, being in the company of the veteran grounded him back to earth.

Eren pulled his trousers on; wiggling his hips into alignment as he quietly continued rationalizing just why The Corporal returned his calm.

Was it because the dark haired man brought a certain measure of safety? Not just safety from the public and in some measures the Council, but safety from himself. From what was lurking beneath the surface of his skin. Eren was in no doubt that if he turned into t-that thing, then Humanity's Strongest would put him in his place without hesitation, probably before he had the chance to fully transform. Before he could damage or hurt a single comrade.

Carding his fingers through his damp hair, green orbs glanced over at the mirror briefly before his eyes slid away, instead gathering his belongings and preparing to leave the shower room.

The Corporal was his insurance, his last and only hope of seeing each new day begin as it came. Eren knew deep down he didn't deserve this insurance, he was worthless to humanity now, but somehow, he wasn't ready to die.

He guessed that last part showed what little human qualities he had left; it was a greedy wish after all.

~0~

Levi was just finishing steeping his tea when he heard a knock against the grain of his door. Placing the accompanying spoon down on the saucer, he stood from his seat and made his way to the door.

With a swift flick of the latch, the door opened and he peered out. Bright green eyes met his as he backed away a step, allowing entrance to his office with a half wave of his hand. A damp head moved passed him and came to a halt in the middle of the room. Levi examined the boy as he saluted him, fist curled to his chest and back rigid.

Levi sighed silently and moved back to his chair, crossing an ankle over a thigh and picking up the delicate handle of his cup.

"At ease Jaeger, no need for any of that here."

The shifter relaxed somewhat and perched in the chair opposite Levi, the small coffee table separating them. While Levi sipped at his tea, he watched Eren glance around his office, it wasn't the first time the boy had been in here, but his presence was rare enough that his curiosity took inventory each time he came.

The Corporal took his time to study Eren's appearance. He didn't think himself an unintelligent man, he took note of Eren's form, from the hands placed together at his lap, to the slightly hunched shoulders, the thighs together and ankles touching.

Not to mention the lack of eye contact, that certainly had not gone unnoticed.

Levi placed his cup back down on his saucer, turning the handle until it was at the correct angle of his liking.

No, it didn't take a genius to realise this boy was broken.

Levi had seen many broken soldiers throughout the years, it wasn't exactly a rare occurrence since they were at war, yet Eren struck him very differently. This soldier was not broken through external influences, he was shattered from within. He had downright crumbled from within his core. His beliefs thrown upside down and his very existence questioned of its worth.

Funny thing was, this boy and humanity itself had failed to see the potential of Eren's circumstances. Only a handful of people had seen it.

On that day of Trost being captured again, Levi had arrived at the scene barely minutes before it had concluded. Yet what he saw changed his outlook for good. He had seen raw animalistic potential. This boy had carried the entirety of Humanity's safety in the shape of a boulder on his shoulders. His colossal form had quelled the rage to kill, and, with a few hiccups along the way, had picked up that goddamn boulder.

Levi had seen him slam it down, body steaming in efforts to repair his strains, eyes gleaming from the pure will to finish the task, to set aside his selfish desires to rip at flesh, and instead choose to protect.

He watched, perched on top of the wall, as the titan disintegrated, not yet fully capable of understanding how this turn of events had occurred and spotted the boy being cut from his restraints, completely unconscious and vulnerable.

Levi had scrutinized the soldiers who gaped at this boy's success, already noting their eyes still shining from fear and he jumped down from his perch when the remaining titans started charging at the steaming carcass and small huddled rescue squad.

He remembered slaying the stray beasts before landing and asking what was even going on.

Levi already knew at that point, where humanity failed to.

This boy, with his multitude of raw power and unwavering hope…

This unconscious exhausted boy…

…was the answer to their existence, he was their only true chances of winning this eternal war…

This boy…

"Sir?"

Levi blinked once and drew his attention to Eren, who had satiated his curiosity and was now staring at The Corporal's cup.

Not directly at Levi himself, again he noted. Levi exhaled through his nose silently. The sun gleamed through the window casting his quarters in warm glows and extended shadows. He drew his arm up to rest on top of his chair as he quickly observed Eren's demeanour. The boy's bright eyes almost glowed, even when Levi couldn't detect any particular emotion in his face. They seemed to have an intense glow to them as though a permanent reminder of this boy's humanity. To Levi, this much was clear as day and to Levi, there was no doubt in his mind that Eren was human before anything else. He just needed some training, some control and a chance to harness this power that the people immediately concluded that he couldn't, shouldn't.

That's where Levi came into this.

He cleared his throat to gain Eren's attention again, which earned the eyes studying the cup to now study his cravat.

"Eren, you start training today."

The boy straightened up, eyes finally meeting Levi's in round complete shock. They glistened with fear, yet, to Levi's uncomfortable realisation, not fear of himself getting hurt, but fear of the beast within. Eren was not scared of what the Corps will do to him in the no doubt vigorous training, but he was scared of what he himself may do, what this beast may do if unleashed and free to run rampant.

Eren feared himself.

Levi blinked slowly, tucking away this information in his head under 'things to address later', cross referencing with 'things that I will fix'.

"But-!"

"Eren, the sooner we start this training, the sooner we can learn to control your Titan."

Eren closed his mouth, searching The Corporal's eyes momentarily before averting his gaze back to the cravat. He didn't look convinced, and had taken to gnawing on his bottom lip.

Levi gazed at the messy brown head for a second, remaining still and letting the silence over take them. He could practically hear the thousands of protests coming from the youth, yet he knew at this time that he could say nothing to quell Eren's worries. Actions spoke louder than words, Levi was a firm believer in that.

Eren felt the silence around him and knew the situation was inevitable, he nodded his head, before standing and crossing his arms into a salute again. Humanity's strongest also stood, the top of his head coming up to Eren's brow level. Eren rotated his foot, lining with the door, readying himself to make his exit, yet before he could shift his weight, The Corporal was already halting him.

"Eren, if you cannot trust in yourself, then, place it in my team, until you can learn to trust yourself again."

He frowned, unable to stop the doubt in his mind. He didn't know The Corporal's team yet, he hardly had patience with himself since the incident in Trost, how could these people have patience with a freaking Titan running around their Castle grounds?

He watched Levi studying his face before it became too much and his eyes landed on the door, suddenly wishing he was on the other side of it. How on Earth was he going to survive any of this?

His hand reached the door handle, fingers clasping the cool metal, before Levi's voice spoke once more.

"If you cannot trust my team, then trust me until you can. You start at Noon, dismissed."

Eren couldn't help turning his head over his shoulder to look back at Corporal Levi. The compact man was sliding his fingers across his desk, attention drawn towards various reports and ink bottles. No doubt work that needed completing. Eren stared at his profile, watched the grey eyes flit back and forth on a paper file as his hand drew the report closer to where he stood. Eren took in his build, his toned thighs and strong shoulders before opening the door and stepping through.

Before he let the door close entirely, he replied,

"Yes sir."

~0~

There we have chapter one!, I was unsure where to leave it, seeing as I have thirty pages written up already. This seemed like a natural break for me though, so there we have it!

Please let me know what you think, I will post the next chapter in a few days time :)

Cohali