*bursts through wall* HEY REMEMBER THIS ONE? I am so sorry for not updating in approximately 84 years. Since the last chapter, I started work on my first novel, got engaged, had some health issues, did some hardcore hazardous materials training for my job, got married, and had surgery. My life is now somewhat back on track so I hope to bring you guys more goodness more often! Thanks for your patience and support!

Rick had a restless night.

The herd that broke through the walls the evening before had taken the lives of 13 people, including Douglas. He was now faced with filling Douglas' shoes. It was a task he had expected to obtain, but he was not ready. It was not supposed to happen like this.

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, just bright enough to cast a glow into the bedroom. Rick spent a good portion of the night simply watching Michonne as she slept. He had insisted that she stay with him for the night. He needed human contact to ground him and to remind him that he was still alive and not alone. He knew Michonne needed it as well, even though she did not give voice to it. He could tell from the way she readily slipped into his arms and clung to him tightly as though attempting to prevent them both from falling over the edge.

Rick adjusted the arm that was currently wrapped around Michonne, studying the contours of her face. He knew he could not do this on his own. He had not even felt capable of running the prison by himself, and that group had not been as large as Alexandria's. Michonne seemed to have a lot of confidence in him, however. Maybe he could do it. Maybe things would be okay in the end.

Michonne began to stir and yawn, her locs falling haphazardly over her face. Rick allowed himself a tiny smile as he watched her stretch like a cat. The sight temporarily eased his pain and quieted the voices of doubt that floated through his mind. She slowly opened one eye, looking at him questioningly.

"Did you sleep?" she muttered drowsily, peeling open her other eye and blinking away the sleep.

"A little," Rick told her.

"Not nearly enough. Still look like hell."

"Thanks, 'Chonne."

Michonne propped herself up on her elbow. "It's hard to take all of it in."

"Yeah. I thought we'd have more time, be better prepared than we were."

"We all did."

"And now people are dead."

"There's no way we'd know this was gonna happen."

Rick rubbed his face. "Yeah...yeah. I feel like I could've done more to prevent it...or at least give us a better chance."

"Rick…" Michonne reached over and snaked her fingers through his curls. "You did everything you could to change Douglas' mind. You can't keep beating yourself up over this."

He turned his head slightly to give her arm a soft kiss. "I'll try not to."

She smiled at the contact. "Now go back to sleep."

"I can't. Too much to think about. I gotta get up and do...somethin.'" Rick slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, every muscle in his body screaming as he did so. He caught Michonne's hand as it dropped from the back of his head and gave it a kiss. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Or...I will be. I just need time. And rest," she answered, yawning.

"You sure?"

Michonne paused, glancing away from him. "As okay as I can be," she clarified.

"Okay." Rick stood up and tried to stretch his muscles. It just made him ache even more. He walked to his closet and picked out a clean, plaid button down shirt. "Gonna stay here?"

"Yeah. I'll stay with Judy and Carl."

Rick nodded, pulling on a pair of jeans. "Think he's okay?"

"Carl? Hard to tell," Michonne replied, rolling onto her side to face him. "Seemed like he was handling it well last night, but...I don't know."

"Me neither."

"I'll talk to him today."

"Thank you." Rick finished dressing and walked back over to her. He gave her a gentle kiss. "I'll see you in a while."

Michonne smiled, already falling back asleep. "Aright."

Rick grinned, watching her eyes close as she drifted off to sleep. For a moment he considered climbing back into bed and taking her back into his arms, but he knew he would just continue to worry even more. It was better to face the day head on. Maybe it would set his mind at ease so he could get better sleep. He quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.

There was no other sound or movement from the house as Rick made his way down the stairs. Everyone else was likely still asleep. It had been a long, tough night - and Rick and Michonne had left before many others did. He was fully expecting to be the only person awake at this hour. He stopped by the kitchen for an apple before heading outside.

To his surprise, Daryl was already sitting on the porch steps, smoking a cigarette. "Hey," he grumbled, glancing over his shoulder at Rick.

"Hey. You're up early," Rick remarked, leaning against the porch railing.

Daryl took a long drag on the cigarette. "Couldn't sleep. Not after all that."

"Me neither. Reckoned I'd see what else needed to be done. Get started on rebuilding and regrouping."

"Still got a lot to clean up. Barely made a dent in that shit last night."

"I'm not surprised."

"Eric said there might be a bulldozer at a construction yard a few miles away. Him an' Aaron are going there later. 'Til then it's slow goin'."

Rick walked over and sat down beside him. "Whatta we do now?"

Daryl shrugged. "Guess you're leading us again."

"Just wish I'd had a chance to go over everything with Douglas before. Lotta stuff I'm gonna have to figure out on my own."

"You'll do fine. You got us. You got the Alexandrians. After all that, they're behind you, too."

Rick nodded slowly and sighed. "Yeah. Let's go check out the wall. Somethin's gonna have to be done about the hole."

Daryl snuffed out his cigarette butt on the sidewalk. "More scrap and lumber shouldn't be hard to find."

"Gonna take a lot of work. And we should reinforce the whole thing."

"You think so?"

Rick shrugged as they began to walk toward the gates. "We can't risk this happenin' again. We already lost too many."

Daryl grunted what Rick understood as an agreement and said no more. The calm was eerie. Even at this hour, there were usually a few folks getting ready for the day or gathering supplies. Today, the street was only occupied by Rick and Daryl. At the gates, about a dozen people were working on clean up. Just beyond the gates, a plume of smoke rose from what Rick assumed was a burn pile. It certainly smelled like one.

Rick surveyed the area with a pang of dismay. It seemed as though barely any progress had been made to remove the corpses. They needed more people, at the very least. And if another herd came through before the wall was repaired...Rick took a deep breath and glanced back at Daryl.

"Found any of ours yet?" he asked

Daryl gave a single nod. "Only a few. Rest of 'em...under all this shit."

Rick noticed Spencer sitting on a curb near the community center, staring down at his feet. Rick clapped Daryl on the shoulder and walked over to the young man. He could not imagine what Spencer was feeling right now after losing both of his parents in a brutal instant. He sat down next to him and sat in silence for a moment. Finding words was impossible.

"Dad really fucked this up," Spencer said finally without looking up.

"None of us were prepared for this," Rick told him, trying to be diplomatic although he felt similarly.

Spencer smirked. "Sure, but you guys tried to warn him. You guys pointed out the issue and he didn't wanna listen to you. Now he and Mom and a bunch of other people that trusted him are dead."

Rick sighed. "He had his reasons. Had I been in his place I'd be skeptical too."

"He ever tell you about Davidson?"

"No. Overheard the name once or twice."

Spencer hesitated. "Davidson used to run Alexandria with Dad. Had a pretty good system for a while. But Davidson's priorities were different - he was concerned with infrastructure like you, Dad wanted the focus on the people and image. It eventually caused a rift between them. They started trying to undermine each other."

"That's why he pushed back so hard when we brought up the walls," Rick realized.

"Yeah. Davidson pointed out Dad's flaws and people started agreeing and calling for Dad to step aside. Dad was better at politics, though. Eventually framed Davidson for theft and got him banished."

"Any idea what happened to Davidson?"

"We found his body a few months later on a run. He'd been torn to shreds."

"Damn."

"It fucked with Dad the most. Hardly anyone knows he framed Davidson. But that guilt kept you guys here."

"That's lucky for us, I reckon."

"Sasha told me about the prison you guys lived in before. How you all ran the place. You have a good understanding of how to defend yourselves. I tried to talk to Dad but he thought he'd look weak after all the Davidson shit." Spencer let out a short, bitter laugh. "Mom and Dad were concerned with appearances til the end."

They sat in silence for a while longer, watching the cleanup in progress. A few more people wandered out of their homes and began to help. It still looked pitiful. Spencer eventually stood and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a ring of keys and held it out to Rick.

"Here, Dad's keys to his office and all of the storage rooms. You'll need 'em. I was holding them for him yesterday."

Rick took the keys. "Thank you. And...I'm sorry about your parents."

"Thanks." Spencer turned to leave but then paused. "I tried to stay out of Dad's political bullshit so I don't know much, but if I can be of any help…"

"Absolutely. Thank you." Rick watched Spencer slowly walk toward the carnage and help Glenn load a walker corpse into a wheelbarrow. He looked back at the keys. Somehow, they made it all feel more real. Rick thought back to the prison and pondered Spencer's words. Maybe it could work. He pocketed the keys and stood up to join the others. One thing at a time.

Late in the afternoon, Rick had to take a break. He felt delirious from lack of sleep, over exertion, and grief. He slipped away from the chaos while everyone was distracted by the arrival of Aaron, Eric and a bulldozer they had located. Not far from the gates, graves were being dug for their dead despite not having much to bury. Rick went to the gazebo behind the community building. Sitting down and leaning against the wall, he finally closed his eyes.

While working, it seemed everyone had questions and demands from him already. How to prevent this, what would change now that Douglas was gone, when supply runs could start up again...it was overwhelming. Rick tried to assure and answer everything he could, but it was as though nothing he said pleased anyone. Emotions were running too high and tempers flared over the smallest incidents. And there were still numerous corpses in the street.

"You have a bed, you know."

Rick opened his eyes and saw Michonne standing nearby, smirking at him. He gave her a small smile. "It was occupied, last I left."

Michonne chuckled and walked up the gazebo steps. "Why're you all the way over here?"

"Needed to be away from everyone for a minute." He paused. "Not you."

"I was comin' to help since Carl and Judy seem fine. Any problems up there, other than the obvious?"

"Too few people and reminders of why I took to farmin' instead of leadin' at the prison."

Michonne sat down next to him and studied his face. "It's not you, Rick. Everyone is on edge and they need someone to blame. Once all this calms down…"

"I dunno if I can do this."

"You can. We can."

Rick sighed. "If you say so."

Michonne frowned. "Why don't we create a council, like at the prison?"

"You're the third person to bring that up."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nuthin.' It's a good idea. I'll just have to keep everyone together 'til we can set it up."

"I'll help. I'll get Carol and Sasha to help." Michonne cupped his cheek in her hand. "But right now, you need rest. We need you thinking clearly."

"But-"

"No buts. Go home and sleep. I was going to the gate anyway. They can deal with me if they have a problem."

Rick smiled. He knew he would not win this argument. "Yes, ma'am."

Michonne leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you. And we'll get through this. Together."