And finally, I am back.

I am so very sorry for the time it took for me to update, but I really felt like maybe it was not good enough. Let me know if you still want me to continue. I have not given up just yet.

Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. I hope you like this one. Until next time! Let me know what your thoughts are.

Take care.

Something made Emily jolt awake. She thought it had been a dream, but as soon as she sat on her bed, she knew it was more than just a product of her slumber. It had happened when her cousin had died… It felt like something unbelievingly heavy had hit the roof. Emily's heart beat fast but she lay down again and reached sleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the awful feeling inside her chest.

Emily opened her eyes at the sound of the phone and she instantly knew something was really wrong.

Emily heard her mother's raspy voice down the hallway. "Hello?" she said after the phone had stopped ringing.

Emily heard when her mother gasped in horror and she shut her eyes closed as she frowned. It could not be happening. Please, dad, be okay. God tell me he is okay. The footsteps; now something was going really wrong. Her world crumbled when she heard the door creaking. "Emily?" Her mom whispered with a cracking voice. Pam whimpered and walked towards Emily's bed. "Sweetie," Pam shook her daughter in order to awaken her. Emily opened her eyes before looking directly at the glossy orbs that were staring right back at her.

"Emily, it's your dad." Pam's voice dimmed; Emily could barely hear a whisper and her own eyes watered as a lump grew tight in her throat. Pam's face mourned and she shut her eyes. Emily felt the tears making their way out of her now closed eyes and down her cheeks. She shook her head over and over again trying to convince herself that everything was alright. That it was just some sort of twisted dream.

"Emily, your dad…" Pam tried to get out the words but she just broke down then and there in front of her daughter.

"Don't, mom," Emily managed to escape her mouth. "Don't say it, please." Emily started crying all along with her mother after she sat up and hugged her tight.

"He was…" Pam started.

"Don't," Emily rubbed her mother's back as she tried to stay strong for her even if her tears had done the job of screwing that up. "Hush, mom," said she. "Everything will be alright."

Little did she know; her father was dead. He was gone. She would never see him again while she was alive.

The next two days, Emily and her mother waited impatiently for an answer from Magnus, one person out of the thousands of people in the explosion who had made it out. He was still looking for Wayne's body. Pam had told Emily that she needed her to sleep by her side and of course Emily would not say no to that simple request. Emily did not want to miss a lot of days of school so she stayed with her mother for a short while in order to, in first place; keep her from breaking down and in second place; to keep herself from having her own head all messed up. There was her dad, there was school ̶ even if she was two years away from being a senior, it was driving her mad ̶ , then there was her condition and finally… there was Paige. Even if Emily tried hard to keep her out of her mind taking into account what her situation was… she couldn't. She had been her first love anyway, well… her first true love. Emily had crushed on a girl before; in fact she had been in certain way obsessed with doing anything just to be around her; her name was Alison DiLaurentis.

"Oh my goodness, Emily, look at yourself; you are all grown up," The fifteen year old girl dipped her head trying hard to hide the blush that sneaked up her cheeks at what Jessica DiLaurentis had just said. "You look gorgeous, Emily." Jessica smiled kindly and turned to Pam in order to hug her as greeting.

"Thanks, ma'am," said Emily shyly and closed the door behind the just arrived guests.

"Definitely, Em; you look hot," Alison winked and whipped her head around in a soft way making her golden hair fall over her shoulders. Emily couldn't help but stare down Alison's body. She was wearing a short summer white dress with colorful flowers all over it.

"You don't look bad yourself, Ali," Emily said with a giggle. "I love your dress by the way." Emily looked at Alison's eyes.

Alison bit her lip. "Maybe a little too much, Em," Alison offered Emily another of her trademark smiles and winked at her once again.

Alison and Emily made their way over to the kitchen, were the adults stood talking.

"Emily, why don't you show Alison your room while dinner gets done?" said Pam when she saw the two teenagers making their way towards the adults.

"I can't believe we're back in Rosewood," Alison said as they climbed up the stairs. "I missed my friends, you know? But I didn't miss them as much I missed you, Em," They both stopped in their tracks. Emily turned to Alison. Their Parents' voices were barely hearable.

"Why?" Emily said looking deeply into Alison's eyes. She then looked at Alison's lips, "Why me?"

"Emily," Alison started and held one of Emily's hands. "You are not like the others." She leaned closer to Emily and their lips were now almost touching. Emily took a deep breath. "I've seen your soul," said she. "Shy on the streets" she got closer. "Sexy on the sheets,"

Emily looked away and cleared her throat before moving away. "Shall we?" She beckoned towards her bedroom's door.

"Alison, Emily!"

"Emily!" Emily shook her head realizing she had been daydreaming about old situations she tried to bring back to mind since her dad had... "Can you please open the door?" Pam shouted from her room with her still broken voice. Emily stood up from the living room's couch and groaned before walking to the front door. Emily's mouth dropped open when she saw who was at the door.

Emily's eyes opened wide and a smile tugged on her lips, it had felt like ages since she had felt like smiling and now, she actually felt like doing so. "Hanna?" The blonde stood next to her mother.

Ashley Marin smiled. "It's great to see you, Emily," said the redhead. "Can we come in or is it a bad time?"

Emily nodded. "No, I mean, sure." Emily said and moved to let the woman come in. "I'll tell my mom you are here." Ashley nodded and smiled sadly before Emily turned to Hanna and hugged her tight.

Hanna returned the embrace just as tight. "Oh my, Emily," said she, her voice breaking. All of a sudden, Emily's dad came back to his daughter's thoughts and Emily broke down in her old friend's arms. "Shh… It's going to be alright," Hanna rubbed Emily's back. "Your dad's okay," She pulled away without letting go of Emily's arms and looked at her eyes. "Please don't cry," said she. "You know he wouldn't want you to." Emily nodded and went in followed by her old friend and closed the door.

Paige McCullers watched over her shoulder, her parents would not stop fighting over who was guiltier over what had happened between Connor and Paige. After Paige had found out what Connor had done to her, she had dumped him but that did not make trouble go away. She still could not believe it had been Emily the one to tell her about that night. She told her parents when she had felt brave enough to and the consequences… had not been too good.

"What is it, Emily?" Paige was still confused. Why would Emily come to her house that late?

"I need to tell you something, I promise I won't bother you again." Emily looked down to the floor.

"Em, I told you, you don't bother me at all," Paige said and raised Emily's head by holding her chin up. When she realized where her hand was, she took it away immediately. She looked at Emily expectantly.

"For a while I thought you had broken up with me to be with him…" Emily started. "Then I heard what had happened, I tried hard not to believe it but…" Emily swallowed hard. "But I recalled some scenes of that night yesterday… and it is true…" Emily swallowed hard.

"What are you talking about?" Paige's breath became quicker and her heart pounded in her ears. Emily remained silent. "Emily?" Paige insisted.

"You and Connor slept together and… It seems like Noel was… a part of it, too," Emily's eyes watered. Paige had already figured out what had happened that night, but she had not yet admitted it to herself. Paige saw as tears welled up in Emily's eyes and her mind begged her love not to cry. "That's it. That's all I wanted to say. I'll better go now. Have a good night, Paige." Emily turned around and walked away leaving Paige breathless.

Paige could not take it anymore. She walked out of her house, took her bike and rode it anywhere.

After a few days of not seeing Emily at school, Paige's mother asked her if she knew Emily Fields… Paige said she had seen her but never talked to her. Her mom replied with something that made it worse even if Paige thought it was not possible. Emily was mourning over her dad's death.

Paige saw Emily walking down the hallway two days later. She had not talked to her but she had tried to reach her several times. Paige saw her go further away and could not help but walk in a rush over to her. It had been a week since Emily's father had passed away. Not even was his body in Rosewood yet but Paige knew what it would mean to Emily if she just offered her a smile. So she walked towards her love. Emily felt steps approaching… She knew who they belonged to. Not this time… not again, Paige. But deep inside she knew she needed her and without any warning she turned around and jumped to Paige's arms before the other girl even got to the target. As soon as their bodies touched, both of them knew it would be over in a short while and held tight against the other's flesh. Emily's body calmed down as she tried to keep her breathing's pace with the slow breath she felt nearby. Paige was so calm and… so warm. Emily closed her eyes and enjoyed to breathe in Paige's scent… She inhaled deeply in consequence of the thought of it being the last time she did so.

Paige rubbed Emily's back softly and what sooner or later would happen; did. Even if it destroyed them both inside and out; they broke apart. They looked into each other's eyes not needing to say word to communicate. It was all they had to do to know everything was going to be okay; nothing else mattered; just the two of them. In the end they had to part ways, both taking the other's heart with their being and unintentionally yet unconditionally carrying them forever.

Emily looked down at her hands. While everyone was dancing, she did not feel able to smile even when the people around her laughed so hard. She had been feeling that way for… let's say two weeks, three days, and eight hours, seven minutes and counting. She could not help herself; she had to count. If she did not do so, not only did she feel lonely, but her depression would swim back to her being.

Emily could not stop thinking about that exact moment when her world had come crashing down. She did not know what to do. What is it there to do? She had hardly seen her dad three times in two years. The rest of the time they spent apart was pure missing him and longing for her father. That single phone call had taken what was left of her life away from her. She did not feel like it was worth it and neither was she. However, she kept hoping Paige would not be taken away from her, too. It would be too much.

On the other hand, when she tried to forget about her father, an unpleasant feeling came followed by Paige's devastated expression when Emily had told her what happened at Noel's party or her blissful smile when she had come into the room holding Jeremy's hand just an hour ago. It hurt. Fuck, it hurt.

Emily now knew that Alison DiLaurentis had been involved in Paige and Connor's "incident", however what Alison had offered to her for keeping her mouth shut was quite reasonable; Emily and Paige's relationship would be public. Every single detail would be known by everybody. Emily could not keep that from Paige so she did not. But Paige got so desperate that she had run over to Jeremy's arms pretending she had been there since ages ago. That exact move had made Emily's heart shatter in even more pieces than it already was wrecked.

Then again having this kind of 'illicit' parties with her friends and the seniors was usually something revitalizing for Emily, but this time it was different… Emily felt like her life was slipping away from her fingers like if it were raindrops. Emily stood up from her seat and walked towards the bar. She was alone this time. She did not have a Hastings to be telling her how vodka would ruin her kidney. Emily leant over the bar and called out for the guy serving some shots to a couple sat next to her.

"Johnny," She said. "I need something strong." The guy turned to Emily and smiled mischievously.

"How about my heartbroken special?" said he, "It is pretty strong," He added. "I think it suits you."

Emily nodded. "Sure as long as it makes me forget."

Emily took a seat just before she felt someone tapping her shoulder. Emily turned her head and met a pair of chocolate like eyes. "Hi." said the brunette. "Can I… I mean, is it…?" Paige said pointing at the seat by Emily's side.

"No, I mean… sure…" She mumbled. Emily cleared her throat. "Yes, you can take the seat." She said firmly.

Paige smiled and sat down. "Johnny?" Paige called out. Johnny turned his attention to Paige. "The usual, please,"

Emily tried to hide a grin but she failed and giggled softly.

Paige looked at her and smiled. "I missed that sound," She got out as a whisper. Emily's expression went serious and her mouth dried. They remained looking at each other for a while as they both felt cold air against their backs. Their breathings harmonized and Emily let out a sigh as Paige looked down to the floor.

"Hey, girls," Thank you so much, Jeremy, now you ruined whatever was it what was happening. Emily rolled her eyes and caught a glimpse of her drink already over the surface next to her. She turned around and took it, sipping once and looking back to the couple. "How is everything going, Emily?"

She rolled her eyes and turned to Jeremy as the alcohol started burning down her throat. "Life is magical and wonderful," She said sarcastically and turned back to her drink which sat on the table. "Yeah, I'm absolutely fine," said she, taking another sip.

"Paige, have you met Jonny?" Jeremy said turning his attention back to Paige.

"Johnny the barista?" mocked Paige with some doubt lingering in her eyes.

"I said Jonny, sweetheart." Jeremy started laughing. "He was helping me with my bedroom's walls."

"Oh! That Jonny," Paige said as she realized who her date was talking about.

Emily heard the now faded voices and tried hard not to laugh… They were so goddamn boring and cheesy…

Emily took the remains of the drink and started feeling the alcohol truly kicking in. She wanted to forget. She needed to.

After a few more drinks and two shots now, Emily was not herself. She was so wasted… and that was never a good sign. The drinks usually turned her on as well. She went to the dance floor and swirled like if the world were going to disappear. Music beat inside her ears and her swollen throat sang out loud. She still could not take Paige out of her mind even when her father was slowly being concealed as Emily ignored the thoughts that hurt her. Not a single thought of anything or anyone else crossed her mind. And in that moment, she just wanted to remind Paige that nobody would ever make her feel like she could, and that made her feel exited as hell. Emily was absolutely willing to prove Paige that she was the only thing she could ever want, too.

The night went by and Paige tried to enjoy Jeremy's company. Jeremy was a good guy. He was caring; sweet; reckless─ Paige could admit she loved that─; kind; easy going; and last but not least; he was handsome: Strong arms; lean torso; big eyes; bright soft hair; and a shining smile. However, no matter how hard she tried, she could not stop comparing Jeremy with Emily. Emily… with her tan skin... her defined lips and athletic arms… the way music made her dance… how she looked with her violin in hands… how she would play… how she would kiss her… how she would stare… how her eyes would tell her she was the only one…

Paige looked over her shoulder seeking out for Emily. Paige was worried Emily could be at risk in any way knowing that she had drunk a lot half an hour earlier, but she had lost track of her. Not a single sign of Emily Fields anywhere near her. Paige turned her head to the restrooms and decided to look for Emily in there. Right after she had opened the door and put a foot inside, a pair of arms took her by both of her shoulders and pushed her against the door, shutting it. Paige looked at the pair of dark eyes staring back at her.

"Hey, Paigey," Paige felt as a wave of alcohol breath entered her nose. Paige closed her eyes and coughed. "Em, you're drunk." Paige tried to push Emily away from her with a gentle movement.

"And you look beautiful…" Emily kissed her way down Paige's neck making the former let her head fall against the door and let out a noiseless moan.

"Em…" Paige bit her lower lip and took both of Emily's wrists trying to push her away for a second time.

"Okay…" Emily dipped her head and placed it over Paige's chest trying to slow her breath's pace down. "I'm sorry," Emily whispered. "I get it… You don't want me now, huh?" Emily raised her head and Paige tried hard not to gasp and succeed at Emily's glossy eyes. Paige was trying hard not to let her feelings for Emily get the best of her. Emily opened the door and before Paige could do anything, she was gone.

"Wayne Fields was a good father; you could see it in the way he looked at his daughter." Emily sat in the front row of chairs. She was still amazed at how Hanna's words could be so deep knowing how she would usually speak. After three weeks of his father's death, Emily and Hanna Marin had grown closer together. It felt like they had known each other for ages. Even Spencer was already fond of her; she was spending a lot of time with the Montgomery family after she started staying with them when her family went to London to visit her sister Melissa and now, according to Hanna, they were Hannily and Sparia. "I remember that day," Hanna swallowed visibly. "About five years ago; I was riding my bike, I must say I was not good at it, I fell; I wouldn't stop falling." She smiled at the memory. "Then a kind man walked over to me. He did not offer his help, he just started shouting in this… comforting voice; 'You can do it, soldier, it's your last chance!' I remember I fell when he started shouting, but after a while, his words were not just words; they pushed me to keep trying. I never fell from my bike again. And if I could tell Mr. Fields something right now, I would say: 'Thanks for the push. I owe you one.' Thank you, Mr. Fields." Hanna lowered her face and walked back to her seat next to Emily and held her hand.

"I remember Mister Fields sitting next to my father, watching old soccer matches on Sundays. His daughter and I would play all day with my dolls, but when she came over alone, I must admit, it was not the same; something was missing" Emily could not believe a word Alison was saying. She looked over her shoulder and caught Spencer Hastings and Aria Montgomery with a similar expression as how she was feeling now. Emily turned her head back to Alison. "Goodbye, Mr. Fields. Hope to see you on the other side." Hanna let out an unbelievable sigh and Emily turned her head back to her and rolled her eyes referring to Alison.

"I know," Hanna whispered. "She deserves an Oscar, does she not?" Emily nodded with a sad smile on her face and saw another person walking to the front. It was her mother. At the end of what she had to say… of course Emily could not help but cry and Paige just stared at her… without Emily knowing, but being completely aware of it… she knew Paige was staring, she just subconsciously ignored it. She walked towards her mom and held her tight.

Emily tried not to let her tears spill when it was her turn to speak. Emily had felt Paige's eyes on her the whole ceremony… well all eyes on her actually, but Paige's burnt every other gaze in the room. It was so… intense.

Emily stood up and walked to the front. "I know most of you knew my father for his kindness… his sense of humor, his disposition to help anytime, anywhere and anyone." Emily started. Paige looked at her from the back of the room. Emily took a deep breath still trying to conceal her nervousness. She cleared her throat. "But as you should know…" Paige smiled reassuringly. "He was…" Emily felt her head pounding again. Everything turned around her. "He had this…" Her faintness started worrying everyone around her.

"Is everything alright?" Hanna mouthed from her seat.

Emily looked around and tried to catch that brown orbs.

Her ears buzzed as she was closer from fainting.

She kept looking for Paige's eyes.

She was finally letting go slowly.

Paige was gone from her sight.

She closed her eyes.

Emily had not let go yet but she was slipping away already. "Emily! Emily, Stay with me," That voice… Emily felt soft hand cupping her face and then slapping her softly. "Emily," said Paige. "Please, everyone give her space!" Emily barely heard her, but the fact that she did was the only thing that kept her holding on.

Paige's heart beat fast. Please, Em, please don't let go, your mom is worried. I'm worried.

Pam Fields got closer to her daughter. Paige turned to the older woman. "Please, just give her space, Ma'am," she quieted. "I promise I won't let anything happen to her." Pam had tears rushing down her face. "Please, Missis Fields, you are going to make her freak out even more, I need her tensions to ease. It will make her nervous system to go back to normal and that way she can stay with us; she is just fading, I need you to calm down." Pam took a deep breath and nodded rapidly but stayed knelt down next to her daughter. Paige looked at Pam reassuringly and then turned back to Emily and got close to her ear before holding her hand.

"Emily," whispered Paige. "It's me, Paige." She said. "I need you to hold on to my voice; please don't try to move to fast, just squeeze my hand as hard as you can when you feel like slipping away." She continued. "If you can hear me, shake your head. Slowly please." No response. "Okay then just try by squeezing my hand."

Emily put everything she had in squeezing Paige's hand but only got to hold it harder in a minor way.

Paige sighed in relieve. "Ma'am she had a concussion, did she not?" She looked at the woman.

Pam looked confused. "I wouldn't know," said she, her voice cracking. "She's been distant lately."

"If she did, it would not be good for her to fade out right now." Paige said still trying to keep calm.

The older woman's breath hitched. "Does anyone have a phone?"

"That won't be necessary," Paige said. "I will bring her back, I promise." She tried desperately to calm Pam down. "Ma'am, can I ask you something?" Pam nodded. "Has she had a lost expression lately?"

Pam's eyes darkened and she sighed. "Yes."

Paige's eyes opened wide. "Alright," She brought he lips closer to Emily's ear. "Em, are you still here?" She did not feel anything this time. "Emily." Nothing happened. "Please, don't do this to me," said she, her eyes already welling up with tears. "You will get worse if you don't come back right now." She waited and got closer to Emily holding her by her waist and keeping her hand in her own. "Please, Em," She tried to stop herself but she could not. "Please," Paige said. "I love you," she couldn't stop the words from getting out of her mouth and she shut her eyes closed. "Please."

Nobody heard what Paige was saying but she hoped Emily did. But as soon as Emily opened her eyes, Paige cleared her throat, got away and let go, leaving Pam to receive her daughter as she came back. Pam hugged Emily tight. Paige walked away slowly and got out of the place as fast as she could.

"McCullers!" It was Spencer Hastings who had chased after her. "Thank you."

Paige turned around. "It was a pleasure, Hastings." Spencer caught on the other girl's glossy eyes and nodded with a look of suspicion remaining on her face.

"Okay," Spencer said. "See you around."

"Sure," Paige replied and kept walking, her black dress waving behind her, until she reached the black jeep waiting for her.

She got in and Jeremy drove her home without knowing Emily Fields was all she thought about. She wanted to go back to her but she could not. She could not do that after what she had said. She just hoped Emily thought it had been her imagination. She had not seen her anyway so that was a huge possibility.

Ten weeks later, everything went from bad to even worse. Emily and Paige had not talked in… two months and a half. Paige could not believe it; it was not that Emily did, but she had been busy as hell trying to feel normal again.

The day of her father's funeral, Emily had walked to Paige's house and even if Jeremy's jeep was parked outside, she gathered all the courage it took for her to say thank you and so she did. Her mother told her what Paige had done for her and she was not willing to keep quiet like the dumbass she usually was and say nothing at all. However, when she knocked, Paige opened, said 'hi' and invited Emily inside to join her and Jeremy. They had a great time, Emily must admit, but jealousy did not leave her in the whole night.

Now, they barely smiled when they bumped into each other ̶ it had been two times ̶ or locked eyes as they laughed in English class. Emily felt hurt by Paige being so happy after the short while it had been, but she knew it was for the greater good. Paige had moved on. Emily could not change that. Still there was a part of Emily that hoped Paige still thought of her; and somewhere deep inside, loved her.