A Spark of Madcraft

By Bubbajack

Beta: Diller/Grammarly

Disclaimer: I do not own FSN, Girl Genius, Marvel Comics, or anything else that shows up in this fic.

Ch.10: The Enemy of my Friend is my…

"Both War and Politics can make for unlikely bedfellows,"- American idiom.

Shirou made a split second decision the moment Laura broke ranks and attacked that Servant from a few days ago. [Lancer, take Caster's Assassin. I'll try and find and subdue the Master of these four.]

[Understood Shirou-kun, be safe.] She told him as she leapt towards the indigo haired man, her right arm twisting and convulsing until it took the shape of a spear from her forearm down. Meeting with the assassin in an explosive clash of ringing steel, hardened clay, and earth that was kicked up by their charge. Their first exchange lasted only a couple of seconds, but in those brief seconds, they came to recognize each other as skilled opponents. Smirking at her Caster's assassin spoke in a calm tone, saying "You're good, who are you? I am Assassin in this War. Or, one of them at least."

Nodding her head in respect slightly, Enkidu replied "I am one of the Lancers in this war."

Smiling serenely once again he flicked his blade so that it gleamed in the pale moonlight, before asking "Shall we continue our dance my dear?"

"We shall, but just so you know, I'm spoken for." she said before she charged back in.

"All the interesting one's are." Kojirou lamented as he prepared to meet her charge.

They met once again in a clash of blades and supernaturally hardened clay, sparks flew and gale force winds burst forth each time strikes were exchanged between the two Servants. Both of their bodies were blurs to the naked eye as they bobbed, weaved, and parried the others blows in an unseen dance of death. After one more exchange, they broke apart and stared each other down.

Lancer had several deep cuts delivered to her person, particularly her abdomen, and non-weaponized arm. However, these cuts that were already healing over thanks to her clay formed body. Assassin had a few minor cuts on his arms his, kimono was torn here and there, but otherwise he was fine. It was clear that while Lancer had the superior body, Assassin had the superior skill.

'It seems as though Shirou-kun/that old hag has sent me up against a strong opponent.' Both servant's thought simultaneously.

Assassin then took an actual stance with his sword. He held it in reverse grip, blade edge pointing upwards, his left palm braced against the pommel of his sword, his knees bent and body turned to the side.

"Tsubame Gaeshi!"

Three simultaneous flashes of light, one surrounded Lancer, the other cut off her escape from above, and the last blocked exit from the side. It was a technique meant to ensure the death of an opponent by striking three times in an instant, and that unknown to its user, utilized the Second Magic to a degree. This skill should have, if not killed, taken Lancer out of the fight long enough for Assassin to get to her Master…

'Impossible!' Assassin thought as he saw the Servant of the Lance standing in front of him completely unharmed. One look at his Monohoshi Zao and he knew why.

The blade was completely covered in a golden chain, blunting its edge, and making Tsubame Gaeshi ineffective. The other end of the chain was held in her free hand while her spear shaped one was currently speeding towards him. Knowing he could do nothing to stop it, Kojirou braced for the impact he knew he would soon feel in his chest…only he didn't.

Instead, he mentally winced in pain as his sword arm was stabbed through making it impossible for him to utilize Tsubame Gaeshi again. Staring at the earthen spear as it was yanked with a squelching noise out of his shoulder, he looked to its bearer and asked "Why, why spare me death?"

"I didn't want to kill you, just stop you, and that's exactly what I did," Enkidu replied calmly before turning to watch Altria struggle with her opponent.

Altria too had already engaged her opponent, the Dragon in the form of a young girl. The Golden-haired Queen of Knights lashed out at the Colchian Dragon with Caliburn, her Prana Burst going full bore throughout her lithe frame and struck out at her adversary…Only for her beloved blade to deftly be caught in the child's hand, much to her shock.

Seeing the look on her face, Argonia couldn't help but laugh and said "What, you didn't actually think this thing could hurt me did you? I don't know who you are, but I can tell whoever forged your sword did so using Dragon's Breath."

She then sniffed the air before continuing "More than that, it granted the person who he bequeathed it to the soul and blood of a Dragon, you if I'm not mistaken." Argonia's grip then tightened on the blade and she finished "But he must've forgotten to mention that what our breath wrought we can unmake."

The draconian girl then lets loose a gout of flame from her mouth while increasing the pressure of her grip on Caliburn. Nothing happened at first, then a crack formed along the length of the blade all the way down to the hilt. The crack then spider-webbed out until Caliburn, Golden Sword of the Victorious shattered like so much glass in its master's hands. Altria stared in shock as her beloved blade crumbled in her hands, only to be brought back to reality by a hard shove to the chest. It had the effect of not only knocking her out of her trance, but pissing her off, royally.

"You…" Sher growled her voice hoarse with rage "You broke my favorite Noble Phantasm, you broke my Caliburn…"

"Yeah I did, what are you going to do about it?" Argonia asked cockily now that she had destroyed her Noble Phantasm.

In response, Altria held out her arm and a long spear materialized. The dark ash wood shaft was a meter long. Its blade was a foot long, broad, and serrated along its edges with a guard wrought in bronze and covered in runes surrounding it. It looked more suited for hunting wild boar than as a weapon on the battlefield.

Saber swung the blade forward before gripping it with both hands and saying "I said you broke my favorite Noble Phantasm, not my only one. Behold, Rhongomyniad: Spear of Slaying!"

Once its name was called, the spearhead flared with golden prana, and once again Saber flooded her limbs with prana cracking the earth beneath her as she burst forward. But the girl she was charging at disappeared in a flash of light.

When it cleared in her place stood a twelve meters long lizard covered in purple scales, with three, one meter long claws on each foot, and two long horns jutting backward from its head. It lacked the wings or spiked tail of its millennial or divine rank brethren, but it was still a phantasmal beast of the highest rank. But as it opened his mouth full of razor sharp fangs that could easily rend steel and roared, Altria was actually glad she wasn't of the millennial or divine beast ranks.

'It looks like I'm going to have a hard enough time as it is. I need to move faster I need…'

"Come to me, Hengroen!" she called.

A whinny was heard, and moments later, a pure white stallion materialized beside the Queen of Knights. It was already saddled and standing tall and proud, showing no sign of bolting even in front of a Phantasmal Beast of the highest order. Instead, he nuzzled Altria's hand affectionately and seemed to be trying to get into her armors dress.

This caused the Queen to laugh and say "Sorry boy, I didn't bring you any carrots, perhaps once this is over. Will you ride with me against an inhuman foe once again?"

The stallion reared back and neighed in response, causing Altria to grin before mounting her phantasmal horse. Raising Rhongomyniad high above her head as Hengroen reared again, the Queen of Knights roared "Charge!"

Pouring prana into both her lance and her steed, they acted in concert and charged. Again, a golden glow surrounded the spear tip, only this time, it began to spiral like a drill as she and Hengroen approached their target. A target which, in response to their charge, breathed an all-consuming gout of flame at them from its maw. As the flames raced towards them both, horse and rider leaped into the air over the oncoming scourge. Altria had raised Rhongomynaid with both hands over her head before she leaped from the saddle, a chivalrous yell on her lips.

She bent her body backward as she flew through the air, her target: the shoulder blades of her opponent. She flew past the dragons' neck, its flames ceased as she tried and failed to snap at her with her jaws. Altria plunged Rhongomynaid in-between the beasts' shoulder blades, as it was one of the few places dragons natural weapons couldn't reach. Usually once on the back a knight would cut off the head at the base of the neck as Lancelot did when he slew a dragon with Arondight. But she sought to wound and distract, not kill this phantasmal beast.

Argonia thrashed her head, tail, and claws. Sending gouts of fire into the sky, destroying the front facing wall of the Emiya Estate with her tail and gouging deep tracts into the earth with her claws. Yet she dared not roll in an attempt to shake her opponent off, for a dragons weakest point was their belly, and if exposed, she was as good as dead. Then, seemingly without warning, the master of the knight astride her charged into the fray…

[Go now while I have the Dragon distracted Shirou!] Altria told him over their shared mental link.

[Right.] Shirou replied before he activated his Mystic Eyes and reinforcing himself as much as he could before he ran into the fray. With his eyes now active, everything around him seemingly slowed. He could see the possibilities in the form of ghostly after-images like when something moves too quickly, except this thing hadn't occurred yet. He was running various complex calculations through his head a mile a second as he ran forward. He was already working on calculating the most likely path past Altria and the still thrashing Dragon even as he continued to move towards them.

'Ok, that tail has an eighty-six percent probability of crushing me at my current level of speed. However, if I change course, then I have a ninety-six percent chance of being cut in half by its claws by accident. Or worse, a ninety-eight-point-six percent chance of getting either eaten or burnt alive should I go near its mouth. So tail it is, I just need to speed up…a lot. Well, now's a good a time as any to try that out.'

The 'that' in question being the final gift the Old Man left with Aoko for him. As he raced towards the amethyst colored dragon's tail he intoned "Chrono Trigger, Fire!"

Everything around him slowed down to a snail's pace. 'No, it's not that they slowed down, I've sped myself up in relation to the real world.' Shirou reminded himself.

The last gift Kiritsugu had left him was the knowledge of his Innate Time Control. However, by the time he passed it on to Aoko, the knowledge he had of this skill was in his Magic Crest was fragmented and incomplete at best. So Aoko had to transfer some of her own know-how on time dilatation to make up for the difference. And, since she was transferring the memories and not the magic circuits itself, he was in no harm of his body rejecting the knowledge he gained.

Currently, due to his prior reinforcement, he had straight E-ranked physical stats because he was now moving at twice normal speed due to the fact he was on a different time axis compared to everything else. He theorized his physical skills would continue to increase by a factor of five for every subsequent level he pushed past the initial one.

Shirou pushed thoughts of testing out of his mind and focused on the task at hand, getting past the dragon's tail and to the Master on the other side. It was already headed on its downward arc. Shirou couldn't stop, as his expanded situational awareness his eyes granted him, told him if he did he would be sliced to pieces by an incoming claw seconds later. So he did something only he would dare to do. He slid underneath the incoming tail, like a baseball player stealing home plate.

He managed to miss getting his head crushed by millimeters. But he gave it no thought as he immediately got up and continued running. This was made harder by the fact that Chrono Trigger ended after he made it past the tail and Gaia enforced its corrective influence on his body in the form of pain, lots of it. But Shirou had felt worse. Gáe Bolg piercing his heart was worse, walking through the flames of the Fuyuki Fire was worse by far. So he was able to easily ignore the pain with little more than a grunt escaping his lips as he soldiered on. Besides, he had a healing factor now, thanks to his Horse alignment granted by his Throne of Apotheosis.

He'd just made it out of what remained of his front gate when he was confronted by the hovering Caster, who was using her cloak like a set of wings to fly. Her staff in one hand she smirked at him and said "Impressive boyo, to produce something close to Magic. Something I can only do within the bounds of my Temple. You put yourself on a different time access for a few seconds accelerating your own speed and increasing your strength…via an internalized Greater Ritual? Very impressive." Caster said complimenting him.

"Thanks but I'd like to step out for a bit if it's all the same to you, so if you'd please step aside." He asked in faux politeness.

Caster laughed haughtily just like the witch society labeled her as before she replied "So you can kill Souichirou-sama? I think not. How about this though, you join me, and I won't kill you where you stand?"

'Souichirou, is that the name of her Master?' Shirou had thought before he replied "I don't think so, plus I'm pretty sure you're too tied up to stop me."

"Oh, how do you figure? Caster asked, bemused.

Point up and to his left Shirou replied "Her."

All Caster saw was a black, pink, and tan blur seconds before it slammed into her and sent her flying backward into a still standing bit of wall. Moments later, after the crash he heard Tamamo yelling "Get your paws off Shirou you old bitch!"

"Who are you calling old and furthermore I want nothing to do with that boy other than his Command Seals! And I'll have them and all of you after I cut off his arm." Medea shouted back, along with shooting volley after volley of arcs of light.

Shirou had half a mind to assist Tamamo until he saw the look in her amber colored eyes. She looked feral for lack of a better term, her pupils were silted, her hair stood stiff as if electrified, her tail was erect and fluffed out, and her ears lay flat on her head. All in all, she looked like a savage beast at the moment.

Her voice came out as a vicious guttural snarl "You'll do no such thing! I'll tear you to pieces before you harm a hair on his head!"

"Caster are you-" Shirou began only to stop when Tamamo glanced in his direction and said in a slightly less monstrous tone "Don't worry Shirou, I've got this bitch. You go take care of her Master."

"But-" he began, only to be cut off again when she all but roared "Go! I've…I've got this."

Needing no further prompting Shirou ran past the two Casters but not before saying to his own "Be safe."

As Shirou continued on the battled between Casters commenced. Medea started it firing more than a dozen arcs of light towards her pink haired adversary. In response, an immaculate eight hand span shield-

'No, not a shield, a mirror.' Medea realized, a full length round eight hand span mirror covered in lapis lazuli with four onyx spheres on either side formed in front of her and absorbed the attack.

As if to add insult to injury Medea's fellow Caster then grabbed the mirror by its top handle and proceeded to try and beat her to death with it.

"What kind of Caster are you, trying to club me to death?!" Medea questioned as she avoided getting clobbered by the weighty mirror.

"The kind where all bets are off when you threaten her master, Eight Fold Blessing of Amaterasu!"

The effect was immediate. Five spectral red tori gates surrounded them in the shape of a pentagon with two floating paper Ofuda seals floating in between each one. Tendrils of energy flowed from the ghostly gates to the mirror, which was now spinning horizontally above Caster. Medea had identified as Tamamo-no-mea, and then a beam of light came down from the mirror and enveloped Tamamo.

Due to her connection with Fuyuki's ley lines, Caster knew what was going on. 'She's being granted infinite mana for a limited amount of time… not just from Fuyuki's ley lines but it seems the mirror draws from all of them simultaneously….this could be bad…'

Medea didn't know how right she was. As, as soon as she unveiled her Noble Phantasm, Tamamo unleashed an unholy barrage of curses upon the Witch of betrayal.

"Mantra: Bestial Heaven, Curse Frigid Heaven!"

The image of a fox formed in the clouds before it opened its mouth and it let out a beam of frigid cold. A beam which became an icy spire the moment it struck the ground where Medea was only seconds earlier. But Tamamo was far from finished; in fact, that was just the opening salvo.

"Mantra: Merciful Sky, Charm: Spirit Theft!" Tamamo growled.

Again tendrils of mana formed in the air, only this time, they came from Medea herself and coalesced into Tamamo's outstretched and waiting palm in the shape of a sphere the size of a chicken egg.

Medea felt her carefully cultivated reserves drop from A+ rank all the way down to C- which was even lower than her original mana rank of B. She now had roughly a quarter of her mana left and due to lacking an actual master, she would need all of it in order to sustain herself. Assassin and Saber would continue to exist as long as the gate to the temple stood, so they were the least of her concerns.

Her opponent had other ideas however as she chanted another Mantra. "Mantra: Aphotic Cave!"

The area around them changed to that of an earth formed cave. Then, an aura formed around Tamamo in the shape of a tree while its 'roots' sucked even more mana from Medea's personal stores. Leaving her with only D-rank mana left, not even enough to fire off a single spell.

Now with her weak and unable to defend herself did Tamamo decide to finish it. But not without some parting words "You remember this, you remember how weak and helpless you feel right now next time you even think about threatening my Master…Curse: Voided Heaven!

A black sphere formed in Caster's palm before it shot out at bullet-like speeds and struck Medea in the chest, knocking her out. More than that though, it would give her a serious case of the flu over the next couple of days.

'That'll show you, threaten my master huh? I don't think so.' Tamamo had thought smugly to herself before she went to see if Shirou was doing ok.

Shirou finally made it away from most of the Servant battles, he could see Laura and that masked Servant fighting furiously down the street. He made his way towards them, only to stop when a familiar face blocked his path.

"Kuzuki-sensei, what-"Shirou stopped talking and became grimly serious when he realized a couple of things.

One, Kuzuki-sensei was in clear view of a battle of not only Servants but also a Dragon, and he wasn't freaking out. Secondly, he was looking at Shirou with cold, calculating eyes as if he was about to attack him. Lastly there was no one else on the street right now, meaning…

"Your Caster's Master aren't you Kuzuki-sensei?" Shirou asked eerily calm.

In response, Kuzuki dashed towards his pupil with unnatural speed, his arms hung loose, with his fists clenched. Shirou immediately recognized the style his teacher history teacher was using…Soujūrou-nii had been teaching it to him for the past ten years. It was Hebi, a unique mixture of Bajiquan and its sister art, Piguazhang. Whereas Baij focused on explosive punches and elbow strikes, Pigua used flexibility combined with chops and palm thrusts. Hebi took Pigua's flexibility and combined it with Baji's explosive punches and elbow strikes to make an unpredictable assassination style.

It had a weakness, however if the element of surprise has been lost or the opponent has prior knowledge of the style, it's not nearly as effective as it would be. Shirou possessed knowledge in spades, as Kuzuki was about to find out.

Even as he shouted "Trace, on!" and traced the married twin swords, Shirou thought back to an ancient Chinese proverb which states: "When Pigua is added to Baij, gods and demons will all be terrified.When Baij is added to Pigua, heroes will sigh knowing they are no match against it."

Shirou knew from recounting by both Soujūrou-nii and Aoko that at least half of that proverb was right, as Lugh Beowulf a Divine Beast, was absolutely terrified when Soujūrou-nii killed him twice over in an instant. He knew the second half was correct due to defeating the Incredible Hulk using lightning infused strikes.

'I can do this-'Shirou thought as he charged towards his teacher, Kanshou and Bakuya in hand-I can do this!'

Traced Noble Phantasm met magically reinforced fist with a deafening clang. Shirou blocked a strike to his head with the black tortoise shelled blade, only to spin on his heel to move with the path of the elbow strike that he knew was sure to follow. He then slashed with the misty Bakuya at Kuzuki's abdomen as he came out of the spin. It should've torn right through his suit and bit deep into the flesh beneath. Instead, however, it barely managed to tear his suit jacket.

'His suit is heavily reinforced too.' Shirou thought as he blocked another flurry of a dozen curving strikes with Kanshou and Bakuya.

A rapid metallic pinging sound filled the air as Kuzuki tried to punch his way past Shirou's guard. Finally, on the twenty-seventh strike, the married twin swords shattered into numerous motes of light. But Shirou was waiting for this to happen. The moment Kanshou and Bakuya broke Kuzuki-sensei moved in for the kill, aiming for the back of his head with one hand and his temple with the elbow of his other arm.

"Chrono Trigger Double Tap, Fire!"

Shirou was now moving fifteen times normal human speed. He traced another pair of swords, this time two copies of Durandal, the Peerless sword of Roland. Using them, he blocked the punch to his head and parried the elbow strike to his temple before he delivered punishing punch to his teachers gut, not hurting him, but sending in flying back just as Gaia inflicted its corrective influence on his body.

Kuzuki's face gained a look of actual emotion for the first time since the fight started, he looked surprised. The look was still on his face as he said "You know Snake, who taught you?"

"My adoptive older brother Soujūrou-nii."

"Suzuki Soujūrou?" Kuzuki asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

Confused, Shirou replied "Yes, why?"

"The snake sheds its skin, and is thus immortal, for as the last generation withers and dies, the next generation is born to succeed them. You should ask him about it when he meets you in the afterlife." Kuzuki replied, his face and tone once again stoic.

"No one's dying today Kuzuki-sensei. Chrono Trigger Double Tap, Fire!" Shirou said again before he invoked one of the three miracles in each of the traced swords.

'Durandal I beseech thee, sever his protection!' Shirou thought before the golden enamel on the blades glowed before becoming a dull bronze as he stabbed them both clean through his teacher's pants legs and impaled them into the ground. He then used Alteration to change the shape of the blades specifically the tips, thickening and jutting it out in various directions until it became a makeshift anchor, pinning him in place.

He jumped back out of range of his sensei's strike range just in time for Chrono Trigger to end.

He felt like he'd just tried to make a circuit out of his nerves again, but it wasn't a pain he couldn't handle. 'Now that Kuzuki-sensei is rooted to the ground, it's time to finish this.' Shirou thought grimly.

Shirou was grim not because he'd have to hurt his teacher, but because of the weapon he was about to trace next. He would've much rather use his Gunlance, but he didn't feel like destroying an entire street just to take out one man who wasn't even a Servant. So instead, he traced a weapon whose history was soaked in death and bloodshed, yet was crafted to save others even as it killed others.

"Trace, on!" he called.

Lightning arced from his outstretched hand for a moment before the Old Man's personal Mystic Code, the Thompson Contender appeared in his outstretched hand. He tightened his grip on the walnut wood pistol grip, and, with sadness in his eyes pointed the matte black barrel at his teacher and said "Sorry, Kuzuki-sensei."

"Don't be," Kuzuki whispered even as the gun went off with a bang, drowning out his last words, as he was shot.

The Thompson Contender was specifically meant to be used against magi when they were using their full power to block the shot. The powdered bone of Kiritsug, which contained his Origin of Severing and Binding; would then take effect and short circuit mages magic circuits. By severing them and tying them in a knot, causing rapid necrosis due to the destruction of the circuits.

However, Souichirou Kuzuki, during an extraordinary human, was not a magus and thus, had no magic circuits to short out. That isn't to say the Origin Bullet wasn't useful, however. As even though Kuzuki lacked magic Circuits the organ that was torn open by the bullet was rebound in a knot-like shape, preventing proper blood flow throughout his body. Because it was his lung that was shot, he couldn't breathe properly, and that combined with the amount of blood he was losing his legs finally took him out of the fight.

Shirou then tossed the spent Contender aside before looking back at Caster and saying "Tamamo, have you taken care of Medea?"

The pink haired fox-girl nodded bubbly as always and replied, "Yes Shirou she'll be out cold for a couple of hours and even after she wakes up she'll be terribly sick."

Shirou nodded before looking over at Kuzuki-sensei whose breathing was clearly labored and said "Listen to me Tamamo, I want you to see if you can do anything to help Kuzuki-sensei. I shot him with a nasty mystic code that warped the hole it put in his lung. After you've done all you can for him, I want you to move both him and Caster into some of the spare bedrooms." He finished as he stared down the street where Laura and that insane Servant still fought.

"What are you going to be doing while I'm doing that?" she asked already knowing the answer, but asking it regardless.

"I'm going after Laura." He replied before using Chrono Trigger to disappear from sight.

After he'd left, Tamamo made her way towards the gasping and the wounded man only to stop briefly when she noticed the traced gun on the ground. 'I bet part of you wishes Shiki hadn't picked it up for you out of Illya's mansion huh Shirou? At least then, you could've gone on pretending your father was a hero like you always thought he was.'

Laura attacked Deadpool with a savage, animalistic fury, all the while screaming like a cornered angry beast. She slashed at him wildly with her hand and foot claws, but Deadpool for all his madness was still a master swordsman if one who fought erratically. Drawing his own adamantium forged katana's from his back, he proceeded to block and parry every attack she sent his way.

After deflecting a series of claw swipes the Servant with a Mouth couldn't help but comment "Sheesh Logan Jr, what's your problem, is it that time of the month again?"

Face flushed red, she attacked with even increased vigor, screaming "You know damn well why I'm pissed you son of a bitch, you burnt me and Daken alive! We watched you skin Beast after you killed him, you wore his pelt as some kind of messed up warrior garb as you fought Wolverine…I watched you kill the closest thing I had to a father even as I burned alive!"

Blocking a downward kick with crisscrossed katana, Deadpool sent Laura flying as he bent backward sending her tumbling over him. After which, he delivered an upside-down kick as if he were Beckham and she was just another soccer ball, slamming her into a wall and burying her under a pile of rubble.

As Laura pulled herself out from under the debris, the red-clad Merc began to lecture her. "You got the wrong Deadpool kiddo. I'm from Earth-616, the 'mainstream universe' damn hippies…" he muttered before continuing "Anyway the Deadpool you want to kill is from Earth-12101, the same universe you're from."

"I don't care! Killing you will just make me feel better!" she growled before she charged in again.

"Fair enough." He had said before he prepared to defend himself once again.

Laura materialized a small vial full of orange liquid, calling out its name before crushing it in her palm and deeply inhaling its scent.

"Trigger Scent!"

Her muscles then bulged and her canines and fingernails lengthened, the pupils of her eyes became silted while her sclera turned red rimming her blue iris in black. She then let out a bestial unholy roar accompanied by a burst of prana. Spiderweb cracks appeared in the cement from the sheer pressure she was unleashing.

"WraaAAAAA!" Laura then fell on all fours and her black hair almost completely covered her face, except for one luminous eye that glared hatefully at the Merc with a mouth from between strands of black hair.

'Hunt prey…kill prey…kill…kill…KILL!' Laura thought.

Deadpool reached into his satchel and pulled out a raw steak saying "Good doggie, good doggie. Doggie want a steak, huh? Does doggie want a-" He tossed the steak in her face as she charged at him on all fours like a savage wolf, before reaching into his satchel again and pulling out a Nitro Express .700 and saying "Looks like it's time to put down Ole Yeller."

The Mad Saber took careful aim at the feral woman's' head before firing…and he managed to miss spectacularly at the moment he pulled the trigger, Laura ran along the wall using her hand and foot talons. Slashing a lamppost into a makeshift spear as she passed it, she kicked it towards the annoying prey she was facing, hoping to impale it if only to shut it up.

Deadpool dropped his elephant gun and flipped one of his katanas into the air with the flick of his foot. Grabbing it with both hands, he held the blade firmly in front of himself, cutting the makeshift missile clean in half. Just as he had cut through the last of the projectile apart, he was set upon by his maddened enemy.

She was a whirlwind of spinning claws. A sidekick towards his head, as well as a right hook and a straight jab, came his way at the same time. The only one he bothered to block was the jab, as if it had hit, it would've blinded him albeit temporarily. The other two strikes ended up gouging a hole in his neck and putting two diagonal slashes on his torso that went from his left hip to the right shoulder. Using his free hand, Deadpool grabbed the enraged feralette by her head and threw her a few feet away, before reaching into his satchel and pulling out a Mac-10.

"Since you don't want steak, maybe you could do with having a bit more lead in your diet! Who-sha!" He had hollered before he started spraying her with bullets. She ran right at him even as she was pelted with hot lead screaming like a banshee the entire time. When the clip was finally empty, he tossed the Mac-10 aside and then kicked the elephant gun in the air. Catching it with his free hand, he pointing the barrel directly in her face before saying "Open wide!"

He pulled the trigger and a second deafening boom was heard, this one accompanied by an explosion of blood, gore, and gray matter as Laura's head was blown into thousands of little pieces. Bits of her skull and brain flying a good distance down the street as a blood trail coated the ground behind her now headless and unmoving body.

Placing the elephant gun back in his satchel, he said, "Damn glad that's over. Maybe when she pulls herself back together, we can talk about this civil-like…Bwhahahaha! Who am I trying to kid right? Anyway, she got blood all over my fucking coat! And she tore it! Does she have any idea how hard it was for me to hunt down and kill this damn polar bear?! I swear some people are just so inconsiderate. Know what I mean kid?" He asked as he turned to see an extremely pissed off Shirou staring him down, carrying a shaking metal cat carrier.

"You…you killed her! You killed Laura!" he said as he stared at her headless corpse.

"Yeah, headshots with an elephant gun'll do that to ya. Who knew right? But she had it coming! She made me miss my program."

"What?" Shirou asked.

"Bea Arthur, I missed her show today 'cause of this shit," The Servant with a Mouth replied before adding "What's in that cage anyway? Is it a baby? I hope not, cause babies Gimmie the fucking creeps."

Stony faced, Shirou set the rattling cage on the ground before he said "This?"-He unlocked the cage door- "This is your doom!"

Out of the cage hopped a little white bunny rabbit, the size of a loaf of bread. Its nose was pink surrounded by several long whiskers, its ears were fluffy and long, and its eyes were blood red, making Deadpool think it was an albino rabbit.

This is why Deadpool could resist the jibe "What's he gonna do, eat me?"

Smirking evilly Shirou replied "Actually, yes."

Suddenly the bunny let out an ear-splitting screech, revealing a mouth full of sharpened fangs.

"Scree!" the demon bunny said before launching itself at the servant in a blur of motion.

The first thing that went through Deadpool's often addled mind was 'What…the…fuck?'

As the thing started chewing its way through the crotch of his pants and began to viciously gnaw on the organ within he started screaming in a high-pitched womanish voice "MY DICK…MY BALLS! AHHH!"

The Servant thrashed around on the ground trying to get the beast away from his God-given tools to no avail. Eventually, it ate its way past his pelvis and into his body proper. As he lay there on he lay there on the ground, hemorrhaging blood from a rabbit-sized hole where his junk used to be, Shirou calmly approached.

As he stopped in front of the downed hooded Servant, Deadpool asked, "Wha-what the fuck was that thing and where did you get it?"

"That was my latest Mystic Code though I suppose he's closer to a familiar. See when I saw you and Laura fighting earlier, I knew I couldn't just rush in blindly. But I also didn't want to tear up a street and risk hurting Laura by using one of my earlier mystic codes. So, using a bit of magecraft I learned recently, I quickly combined a nearby source of vampire blood, with a rabbit I had in my possession and then let his new natural instincts take over."

"Don't tell me you injected him with the blood of the Princess of the White Moon?!"

All Shirou did was smile evilly in response.

Deadpool began to laugh and cough wetly before he said "Shirou, you are one crazy son of a bitch."

In response, Shirou frowned and replied "One my mother is no bitch. Two, this was for Laura, who you killed. And three, did you ever wonder what it felt like to be a victim of a xenomorph chest burster?"

Raising an eyebrow which for some reason showed up on his mask, Deadpool replied "No Wh-AAAAAH!"

Suddenly, Deadpool's chest heaved outwards once, twice, three times! On the fourth heave, the Dead Apostle bunny burst from his chest in a fountain of blood and gore with another audible screech, with what appeared to be a bit of his heart dangling from his jaws.

"Any last words?" Shirou asked the Servant as he stared at the bloodstained bunny that just burst from his chest cavity.

"Chesticles," Deadpool replied before his head lulled backward and he passed out.

Smiling briefly in satisfaction, Shirou then looked at the blood soaked Leporidae and said "Good work Bunnicula, go take five…I-I need a minute."

Bunnicula twitched his nose in response before hopping off down the road, leaving Shirou alone with two corpses. He promptly walked over to Laura's and said "I'm sorry Laura. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I never even got to see your Dream Cycle so I have no idea what your life was like. I wish I wish I could've known you better or moved faster in time to save you. Then you wouldn't be here, like this." He said getting down on himself for being unable to save someone he knew deserved to be saved and likely would've welcomed rescue, had he been fast enough. He picked up her headless body and prepared to take her back to the house if only to mourn for her properly.

Then right before his eyes, a miracle happened. It started with her spinal cord, which sprouted from her stump of a neck like some macabre flower bud, the vertebrae grew and grew until a human skull sprouted from that. Then came the nerves and flesh. The eyes grew back into the eye sockets, and pale skin covered bloodied flesh as Laura screamed in pain.

"Aaargh! That freaking hurt! I can't believe he shot me in the face with an elephant gun."

Then she noticed she was being held in someone's arms looking up, she found Shirou looking at her dumbfounded.

"Shirou wha-"She didn't get to finish as she was suddenly hugged by her Master as hard as he could against his chest.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again you hear me, this is an order from your master understand?" he said in a stern sounding voice.

Due to never receiving much affection in her life, it took Laura a minute to figure out that Shirou was worried she had just died and this was his way of telling her to be more careful. 'He was concerned…that's…nice.'

"I understand, Master. I'll do my best to not worry you in the future. I know I don't have the right, but can I make a request?"

"Sure." He replied in a much calmer tone now that he'd calm down.

"Can we say like this a little longer?" she asked snuggling into his chest tiredly.

Looking down ar her tired form he whispered "Sure."

"Awe, that's cute. I'd cry, but all my bodily fluids are leaking out of the holes in my chest and groin." A familiar and annoying voice said from behind Shirou.

Shirou stopped and glanced behind himself where Deadpool was struggling to move with a hole in his chest and groin even as they both began to heal.

"Still alive? I should have Bunnicula finish you off." He had said coolly before he motioned to the Dead Apostle Rabbit.

Whoa, whoa hang on a minute their padre. What if I told you I had information? The information you couldn't get if you killed me?" he said as he glanced at the approaching red-eyed bunny with fear in his mask's eyeholes.

Shirou signaled for Bunnicula to stop before saying "Go on."

"Your friend Sakura, she's gone coo-coo for cocoa puffs. She's full on Dark Lady now bro, and she's got an army backing her up." Deadpool finished.

Shirou's heart had turned to ice before he said quickly but with trepidation "Let's talk about this back at the house."

As Shirou entered the house still carrying Laura, he was met in his foyer by a pissed of White Moon Princess, who was glaring at him with narrowed eyes. Her arms crossed in front of her chest as she began "Do you have any idea how many centuries I've spent trying to get my full power back? I just got it back a little over a month ago and then you go and steal my blood and inject it into a damn rabbit! What the hell were you thinking?!"

By the time she was finished, gusts of wind were being generated from her form and the ground trembled as her eyes subconsciously flashed gold.

To Shirou's credit, he didn't hit his knees and beg for his life when faced with an annoyed True Ancestor. But he did wince when he learned she wasn't at her full strength to begin with. Putting Laura on her feet and turned back to the True Ancestor, he bowed at the waist before saying neutrally "I'm sorry, I was unaware you were not at full power."

He then straightened and continued "However Laura someone I consider a friend, was in danger. I knew I couldn't get involved they were moving even faster than I could hope to match. So I did the first craziest thing I could think of. That, I refuse to apologize for, because if I sat back and did nothing, chances are, Laura wouldn't be here right now."

"Is that right?" Arcueid had said menacingly before she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were ruby red and she finished, "If you had given any other answer and if you didn't have those particular set of Pure Eyes, I would've killed you where you stood. Come on, the others are waiting for you, and most of them want answers."

Mentally sighing the white and red haired Magus thought 'Time to pay the piper.'

The moment he walked into the living room he was met by his anxious mother who held him at arm's length while checking him for injuries and asking "Are you alright dear? Are you hurt, what were you thinking injecting vampire blood into a rabbit? I thought you were only going to fight from a distance or command your servants or something."

"Mom, mom, I'm all right, and I know how to handle myself you know that." He told her gently, trying to calm her down.

Agatha released a sigh, before saying "I know, I know, it's just that I worry is all. You've been gone so long, I don't want to lose you permanently because of some stupid high-stakes game."

The sound of someone clearing their throat promptly ruined the moment between the mother and son.

Agatha turned and glared menacingly at Admiral Makidera even as his own wife and daughter glared at him. Ignoring them, he stated calmly "I do believe we would all like to know what is going on? There was an honest to goodness Dragon outside that window not too long ago."

Shirou sat down along with his mother before giving Rin, causing her to scoff and say "Why the hell not, you've been telling everyone else."

Taking that as his queue he began "There is a lot about the world you don't know. There is a whole secret world you know nothing about. My and Illya's Old Man called it the Twilight World…"

And so began an hour long explanation, but while good men talked, black tidings rallied against them…

Sakura, her children, and Angmar had taken up residence in the Matou House now that Zouken and Shinji were disposed of. The first thing Sakura did upon returning home was liquefy all of the remaining Crest of Worms, increasing her own reserves by a marginal amount. The group was currently gathered in the catacombs beneath the Matou household, which doubled as both the family workshop, and Sakura's former torture chamber.

"Why are we waiting mistress? Why not just go after the Emiya boy now?" Angmar asked.

"Patience my Black Captain, all in good time. Nearly all the pieces are in place, I just need my first Rider back and then we can proceed." Sakura said before letting out a manic childish giggle.

"Why wait, we have the King of Heroes, the Hound of Ireland, your children, and myself. So why do we need her?" Angmar questioned.

"In truth we don't actually need her. However, Once I killed Shinji and after I birthed Bea Bae she should have returned to my side as the Book of False Attendant should have been destroyed."

"But that didn't happen…which means someone else must currently have the book and be acting as Rider's Pseudo-Master."

Correct, and until we know what kind of person has my Rider we wait. For now send out your fellow Rider's and take the other two with you as well and see if you can find my other Servant would you?"

"It shall be done," Angmar said nodding to the girl who smiled madly at him before he turned to the corner of the crypt where his two new subordinates sat waiting. Both were clad in black, gray, and red armor. Gilgamesh was covered head to toe in a black miasma in the shape of armor, a hawkish helm covered his head from which his crimson eyes glowed wrathfully within. A red vein pulsed in the center of his chest from where the armor was cut away so he could be brought under control with his Morgul blade. It also had the added effect of turning him into little more than a destructive obedient beast, which suited Angmar just fine as he could do without his mouth.

Cu Chulainn had also changed much but not due to the Morgul blade. It seems that having his very sense of identity erased by Saraswati Meltout coupled with being stabbed by his Noble Phantasm gave the identity lacking and purposeless Servant a new purpose…to serve him utterly until his dying breath. In being changed by the Morgul Blade, he had also become more bloodthirsty more akin to the primal wolf than its domesticated brethren.

Leaning against the wall casually with Gáe Bolg behind his shoulders clad in black and red trimmed armor. Upon his Captains approach, he kicked off the wall and planted his spear in the ground next to him before grinning wolfishly and saying "We finally gonna get to kill something now sir? All this waiting around is making my wrist twitchy."

"As it just so happens, we have been given a mission by the Mistress to go forth and reclaim a lost ally who has been taken by an unknown enemy," Angmar told his subordinate.

"Search and rescue huh…and when we find the guy keeping her prisoner?" he asked smiling maliciously.

"We only need her, not anyone else with her. Before you go, take some of my associates' with you. Lord of the Nazgul!"

Eight other cloaked figures materialized behind Angmar in V formation, with him at its head. Turning to his fellow Nazgul he kept things brief. "We need to find a fellow Servant of my Mistress. We shall be spreading out into three groups. Khamul, take the Knight of Umbar and Dwimmerlaik, and go search Shinto and take Chulainn with you." He ordered, causing the Easterling to nod in response.

Angmar then pointed to another Nazgul and continued "Black Marshal, you, the Shadow, Undying, and Betrayer are to go to Mion. Be discreet, as many enemies linger there. The rest of you are coming with me to check the Temple. That includes you King of Heroes." The fallen King of Heroes groaned in response but gave no other sign he understood.

"Your only objective is to either retrieve or destroy a book some fool has in their possession by any means necessary. Do not fail or the punishment will be severe. Now go!" he ordered.

His fellow Ringwraith's and one subordinate disappeared leaving him with three of his own men. Turning to them he said, "Come, we have a fool to find." He then swept out of the crypt, leaving the other four in his wake. He had no idea how true his words were.

Mitsudori Ayako could most certainly say she'd had an odd week. It stopped being normal after she told Shinji that if he didn't stop bullying the first year students in the archery dojo she'd talk to Taiga-sensei about him. Next thing she knew she was waking up in a cheap motel. The mattress was lumpy, an old half broken fan slowly rotated overhead. Mitsudori didn't notice any of this at first as she covered her eyes and groaned as a beam of sunlight hit her directly in the face.k Both waking her up, disorienting, and blinding her all at once.

She sat up, causing the bed beneath her to audibly creek. Groaning in discomfort, Mitsudori rubbed her eyes while saying "What did I do last night?"

She never expected an answer "Well, it's not so much what choo did lass, but what was dun ta ya."

Her head snapped up at the sound of the voice, and for the first time, she noticed she wasn't actually in her room at home, but in some unknown motel room and she had no idea how she got there. But even more than all that, she wasn't alone. Sitting at a desk in a rickety looking swivel chair that had a leather jacket with a patch of a lawn gnome throwing devil horns thrown over the back, was an older man with his greyed hair in a Mohawk, faded jeans, and combat boots with a pair of aviator shades on his face despite the darkness of the room. He had a Grizzly Adams beard covering his face.

"W-Who are you? Where am I?" she asked nervously. She may be tough, downright tomboyish, but she was still a girl. So when she woke up in a strange room with an even stranger older man, she wondered if she'd lost something she couldn't get back.

"You are in me rented hotel room lass. As ta who ah am…He then struck a pose, standing on the chair with one foot with his jacket slung over one shoulder as she finished "Ah'm Ole Man Henderson Tryggvassen Genteel'man Adventur'er."

Not knowing how to react to his introduction she just said, "I'm Mitsuzuri Ayako…uh, Tryggvassen-san, I hope this doesn't come off as insulting but-" She was cut off by Henderson, who said " Jus' call me Henderson lass. Ah, ain't one fer all dat formal crap, excuse me French."

Nodding Ayako amended herself continuing "Right, ok Mr. Henderson. We didn't uh, what I mean to say is last night did you and I…?" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"We didn' fuck if that's what yer wonderin' lass. Ah did save yeh from some creep while yew were takin' a kip on the ground though. So after I knocked him on his arse, I took yew 'ere for some R&R as it were."

Suddenly, it all came back to her. She was arguing with Shinji after bumping into him downtown. Then out of nowhere, this gorgeous woman appears and, after putting her in a vicelike grip, bit her neck and began sucking out her blood like a vampire.

Putting a hand fearfully to her throat in reflex, she turned to the old man and asked "What about that woman? And Shinji how did you deal with him?"

"Dat woman, she's an interesting one she is." He replied while reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a thick black leather covered book. Shaking it for emphasis he continued "That punk, Shinji you call em? He had this book on him in his shirt pocket. Turns out, that woman has ta listen ta whoever holds the book wit'out question."

Ayako's mouth fell open in disbelief. What he'd just told her couldn't be true! No one could be completely controlled by a book, right? Something like that only existed in fictional books about magic.

Crossing her arms, Ayako challenged, "Prove it."

The old man smirked and replied "You don' take all yer told at face value. Dat's good, it means you can look through all the bullshit an see the bigger picture. As fer proof, I can't right now 'cause Rider as she calls herself is out grabbing breakfast for the three of us. While we wait, why don' ya call yer folks? I couldn't 'cause I'm not that good with Japanese."

Ayako's eyes had widened before she searched her pockets for her cell phone only to find Henderson handing her both the phone and battery separately. Seeing the odd look the girl was giving him, he shrugged and said "The Muckle damned thing was ringing and dinging off the hook so ah took da battery out for some peace and quiet."

Rolling her eyes, Ayako popped the battery back in and turned her phone on. She immediately noticed she had several missed calls from her Kaa-san, Tou-san, and even some from her brother. She had twice the amount of texts. From what she could piece together from them the school had been destroyed by a freak tornado and her family was worried about her. Taking a deep breath, she dialed her mother's cell phone number.

It didn't even ring once before it was answered and her mother started yelling into the phone, causing Ayako to hold the phone at arm's length so as not to go deaf. After her mother had calmed down, she spoke into the phone, saying "Yeah mom, I'm fine really. I got mugged while window shopping, but some nice foreign guy helped me after I got knocked out. He's here yes…what's He like? He's…"

Ayako looked at Henderson for a moment before saying "He's eccentric."

Whatever her mother said next caused Ayako to blush and yell into the phone "Kaa-san, he's old enough to be my grandfather!" A pause before "Your married! That is not just semantics and age is not just a number Kaa-san!"

Ayako sighed before saying "Tell Tou-san and Minori that I'll be home after I repay my debt to the old man. Love you too, bye."

Snapping her phone shut, she turned back to the old timer, who was now sitting casually in the swivel chair and said "Look, I owe you one. So if there's anything you need help with, any reason why you're in town?"

"Funny yew should mention dat lass. See, me great nephew Charlie done stole me antique Lawn Gnome collection, so Ah'm here ta find him and me collection."

Ayako blinked before shaking her head and saying "You're kidding, right?"

The old man shook his head and replied "Nope, each one was a hand painted porcelain Taiwanese lawn gnome, it was my retirement plan after I retired from the lad 'o' the night business."

Ayako blushed as she pieced together what he said "I-I see." She muttered out.

"I see you've informed the girl about your colorful past, master." A sensual voice said.

Moments later a woman voluptuous woman with lilac colored hair that was so long it reached the floor appeared, she was wearing a skimpy black dress and visor that covered her eyes. In her hands were several plastic bags that, from the smell were full of food.

Ayako suddenly froze up as if she were a rabbit being hypnotized by a snake. For her part, Medusa slowly swayed her way towards the frightened high-schooler, a smirk on her lips as she dropped the bags on the bed.

As she stalked closer to Ayako Medusa whispered "Well now, it seems you're awake. Good, I was afraid I had drained you dry. That would've been a shame…" Leaning in close to the girls' ear the Servant of the Steed whispered "Because you tasted delicious."

Ayako 'eeped', red faced as Rider continued "In fact, I wouldn't mind tasting you again, though perhaps not in the same way as before…no, this time I think I'll taste you in a way we can both enjoy, oh yes…" Rider all but purred into Ayako's ear.

Suddenly the tension in the room was broken by the sound of fluttering. Both servant and high school girl turned to see the old man they had both forgotten about throwing Euros in their direction. Seeing the look the younger of the two was giving him he shrugged and said "Wat, this is jus' a com'mon curtesy when women put on a show for a guy after all."

"Y-You are s-such an ass!" Ayako said before she dived across the bed for the bags full of food, partly to get away from Rider, and partly because she hadn't eaten since lunch at school the other day.

After she and Henderson had eaten, and Rider finished the tea she'd gotten herself, the trio got down to the business of finding Henderson's 'Muckle darmed Gnome stealin' great nephew!' as Henderson dubbed him. After throwing away their collective trash, Ayako sat down on the bed as far away from Rider as she could before she asked "Ok so what exactly does this nephew of yours look like?"

Rubbing his grizzly Addams beard in thought for a moment, Henderson replied "Well, let's see…He should be 'bout yer age,'as red 'air an height he git's from me side of the family, hazel eyes and narrow features he git's from 'is modder. He should be real smart-like, a common trait in both our families. Well, ring any bells lass?"

Only one person fit the description Henderson was giving her. 'But that can't be right, he isn't a thief.' She thought, and told him as much.

"I know only one person who fits the physical description you gave me, but I just can't see him as the type to steal anything from anyone."

Raising an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, Henderson asked "Oh rilly now? An why may Ah ask, do ya think dat, eh?"

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Ayako replied "Because I go to school with him, and I used to be in the archery club with him and I can tell you he is the most helpful person on the planet. To the point of being stupidly self-sacrificing. No, there's no way this is the person who stole your lawn gnome collection. He doesn't have a cruel bone in his body or malicious thought in his head." She said assuredly.

"Wat's 'is name lass?" Henderson asked.

"It's Emiya, Emiya Shirou. But I'm telling you, it can't be him!" She protested again.

Standing up and dusting himself off, Henderson replied "Yew let me be da judge of dat, ya hear? Before we go an 'chat' wit dis Emiya kid, we need to go git some supplies."

"Supplies?" Ayako asked in confusion.

It turns out 'getting supplies' in Old Man Henderson's mind consisted going down to Shinto and beating the shit out of a pot dealer in broad daylight while interrogating him about lawn gnomes, before stealing not only his all of his product, but also his car, gun, and for some reason Ayako couldn't understand, his pants.

After that, Ayako was parked outside a liquor store in said stolen car thinking 'My life is over. I'm in a stolen vehicle full of drugs that we stole from a yazuka-'

She suddenly heard shots firing from inside the establishment before Henderson came out carrying several cases of sake under one arm and his stolen pistol in the other before she added 'Now I'm an accomplice in robbing a liquor store!'

As the crazy old man tossed the pilfered drink in the middle seat with her before jumping into shotgun and yelling at Rider to "Hit it lass! Apparently dis shite don't tink euros are worth wiping his arse wit!"

Rider stepped on the gas, a wicked smile on her face. Sure this-what did the girl call it? A Honda S2000? - was fast, nowhere near as fast as he Pegasus of course, but it had the advantage of being inconspicuous, whereas her Pegasus would destroy the surroundings just by existing. With her riding skill at A+, she could handle it easily without issue.

As she drifted around the corner, she couldn't help but notice the girl, Ayako's heart was pounding in her chest. Medusa could smell the fear coming off of her. While a part of her found the scent of fear amusing she truly didn't want to scare the girl, so after she turned the next corner she slowed down to more acceptable levels, as much as she wanted to speed.

"T-thanks." Ayako told her shakily.

"Good idea gal, we're prolly far enough away from that ole bastard now. No need to draw suspicion yeah?"

Ayako turned to him and started yelling "What the hell were you thinking? Not only did you rob a yazuka, but then a liquor store! What does this have to do with finding your damned lawn gnomes?!"

Henderson had just finished rolling up a blunt the size of a Cuban cigar he lit it using the lighter provided in the car before taking a hit and blowing it out, saying "Ya need ta relax lass. Ah done told ya we needed supplies firs' didn't Ah? Want a hit?" he asked offering her the blunt.

"No thanks." She said turning away from him sulkily.

Giving her a playful nudge in the shoulder Henderson said "Eh now, don' be dat. After all, if your life's as bad as yew tink it is right now, yew may as well go all da way huh?"

'I'm an accomplice in two robberies, Grand Theft Auto, am in possession of pot and alcohol…fuck me, he's right. It really can't get much worse for me!'

"Well when you've hit rock bottom…" She said as she reached for the blunt.

"No'were ta go but up." Henderson said before popping open a jug of sake and taking a swig.

Minutes, hours, or days could have passed by the time Ayako awakened from her sake and pot induced state. When she finally came to, she found herself passed out in the motel room from earlier, tangled up naked in the sheets with Rider!

"EH!"

"Shush…" Rider said while putting a finger to her lips and pointing to the other bed, where Henderson lay spread eagled, passed out drunk, and snoring like a chainsaw.

Just barely managing to calm herself down Ayako whispered "D-Did we?"

Medusa smiled sexily before nodding, and purring "Oh yes, and I was right. It was so much more pleasurable for the both of us this time around."

Ayako couldn't believe it…it was kind of funny in a way, she and Rin would always say they would get a boyfriend before the other, and here Ayako had already had sex, probably lost her virginity, and it wasn't even to a boy!

She couldn't help but laugh quietly so as not to wake the old man, she'd always wanted a boyfriend, but at the same time, always wanted to remain single as long as possible.

'Maybe this is a sign.' She thought, before she turned to Rider and asked "Umm, was I any good? I'm only asking because I'd never done anything like that before, with a girl or a boy for that matter."

Smirking, Medusa gave Ayako a kiss in the brow and said "You were inexperienced, but eager. You just need more…practice…" she finished hungrily.

"Yew too can go at it like les'bian rabbits later. Ri' now we got to finish gettin' our supplies ta'git'er."

Making sure she covered herself in the sheets, Ayako asked dryly "Great, what's next? Are we going to rob the nearby airbase?"

"Funny yew should bring dat up lass." Henderson said as he rolled himself a blunt.

Throwing her hands up in defeat, Ayako replied "Sure, why not just add theft from a government faciliry to the list while we're at it?"

"Dat's da spirit! Hit?" Henderson coughed out as he took a hit from his blunt.

Taking a hit before passing it to Rider she said "if we're going to do this we're going to do it right, understand? I don't feel like going to jail for the rest of my life just because I decided to hang out with some looney old man who saved my life."

"A'corse lass, A'corse. Here's what we'll do…"

"There is no way in hell this is going to work." Ayako muttered to herself as she and Rider walked their way towards the guarded gate that lead into the Misawa Air Base, which seemed to be manned by a single bored individual. He hadn't noticed them yet due to the fact his face was stuck in a magazine.

"Just watch, you'll be surprised I'm sure." Rider replied as she sauntered up to the booth sexily.

Upon reaching the booth, she leaned over the counter and cleared her throat, causing the 'guard' to jerk up suddenly. When he saw who had disturbed him, his mouth fell open in shock. It didn't even register that she was a civilian and that she was on a private road, so entranced he was by her beauty.

Smiling at him cutely, Rider said "Sorry to bother you officer, but I'm afraid me and my friends car broke down." Rider pointed to Ayako who waved kindly at him before she continued "Do you think you could help us out?"

The soldier straighten and blushing, stuttered "I-I'm sorry, but I'm not a-allowed to leave my p-post m-miss."

Pouting Rider continued "Surely you can spare just a minute or two? I can't tell how grateful my friend and I would be for your help."

Swallowing as his eyes bulged along with something else, the soldier replied "R-Really? Well h-how can I say no to people in need? It's why I joined the air service after all."

The poor fool followed Rider and Ayako back to their 'broken down' car where, after he started looking under the hood, Henderson came out of the brush and hit him over the head with a wrench before dragging him into the bushes.

Minutes later, he came back out wearing a slightly too tight Air Force Uniform. It was the M-90 khaki colored uniform, that had a single breasted tunic that had a stand and fall collar, had five buttons which ran down the front. He had on long trousers along with puttees and tapes. On his feet was a pair of = horsehide ankle-boots.

Ayako took one look at him and burst into a fit of giggles, causing Henderson to scowl and say "Its nah funny! Its nah funny damn it! Me boys 'er bein' crushed in dis too short pair 'a pants."

This only caused the highschooler to laugh all the louder.

"Kids dez days ain't got no respect fer da sufferin' of dere elders." He said before he marched towards the now unmanned gate Rider and a still chuckling Ayako in tow.

As they passed the gate Henderson whispered "Now member dah plan lass, if anyone asks, I'm showin' the missus and you my teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be 'ere around da air force base."

"Yeah, sure, but what happens when that plan inevitably fails?" she asked.

"Wat makes yew tink it's gonna fail lass?" Henderson asked as they made their way casually.

Ayako shrugged and said "Oh I dunno maybe it's because-"

She was cut off when someone yelled "HALT!"

"You're clearly not Japanese." She finished dryly as they were surrounded by men with guns.

"Right, plan B den, Rider yer up!" Henderson said jovially.

A smirk appeared on her lips as Rider replied "As you say, Master."

Rider then moved like greased lightning and the men surrounding them collapsed like marionettes' that had just had their strings cut, except for the last one which she caught by the shoulders before she dug her fangs into his artery, drinking deeply before dropping him and licking the access blood off her lips.

"I would suggest we hurry, more will be here soon." Rider said after she was done.

"Right, dis way ladies." Henderson said leading them to what Ayako knew was the armory.

When she asked him how he knew it was the armory he replied as he kicked in the door, "Only other place that would have dat many guards around it would be da hangars for da planes."

Inside were metal shelves filled to the ceiling with ammunition, on the walls sitting in iron cages were various weapons. From a 7cm Mountain Gun, to a Type 94 37mm Anti-Tank gun, several Type 92 "Daitai Ho" 70mm infantry support guns, a plethora of Howitzers, and lots and lots of rifles and pistols.

Picking up a couple of duffle bags, Ayako looked at Henderson sideways and said "Take everything that isn't nailed down?"

"Now yer gettin' it lass!" he said cheerfully before picking up a few duffle bags himself and filling one with corresponding guns and ammo, and the other with grenades and mines. Ayako did the same, but she focused mainly on pistols and ammo for the guns Henderson picked up.

After a few minutes a voice could be heard shouting at them from outside through a megaphone in Japanese, as well as the sound of rotator blades signifying the approach of a helicopter. The voice on the megaphone said "Attention! We have you surrounded, come out now with your hands-AHHHH!"

"What just happened?" Ayako asked fearfully as she heard the man's screams.

"Rider happened. 'Member when yew asked me whether she had ta do what Ah told her, well after she went an got our ride, she saved ar' butts. Take a look." He prompted.

Looking out the window, Ayaka's jaw dropped when she saw the armory was surrounded by statues of soldiers, some of them screaming in fear.

Pale-faced she looked back at Henderson and asked "How?"

"Ah don' rightly know lass. Dat's sumthin' yew'll haf'ta ask Rider 'erself when your under da sheets wit 'er later ah s'pose."

Giving him a dirty look, Ayako kicked open then starred for a moment at the helicopter Rider was flying. She wasn't positive, but she thought it was one of those new SH-60J attack helicopters. It was pitch black, had pods full of what she assumed were hellfire missiles, twin machine guns on either side of it, two different types of torpedo's and depth charges.

She was pulled out of her reverie when she was nudged from behind by Henderson who said "Stop gawkin' and git ta walkin' lass!"

"Right." She said before jumping in the back of the helicopter, connecting her duffles to latches inside, she and Henderson snapped themselves into harnesses and put on headsets as Rider took off in the stolen vehicle.

Once they were several thousand feet in the air and speeding away, Henderson, blunt in his mouth asked "Now, where does dis Emiya live x'actly?"

Chapter Length: 12,128 words – Date Completed: 3/31/15

AN: Hey everybody, it is I Bubbajack, and I am back with another chapter of Spark of Madcraft. I have several things I need to talk about today so I apologize in advance for the long AN. That said, let's get down to it!

Item #1: We broke 100 reviews last chap! wait to blow my mind people! New short term goal: 200 reviews by chapter 20! Let's Do it!

Item#2: a couple of people have accused me of not liking Sakura very much/ not portraying her properly since I decided to use Dark Sakura in this fic. Now I'm sorry but that is just laughably wrong. I would like to point several things that show I'm going rather easy on her even compared to canon.

I didn't have her (as the Shadow) kill hundreds of innocent people like she does in canon. Either way you choose to slice it, the Shadow is still Sakura, which ended up eating people alive for energy. And Zouken had next to zero control over the damn thing, in fact he was trying to limit causalities.

In her own Route, she's portrayed more as a secondary or possibly primary antagonist than as the 'heroine' of HF route. Seeing as she could've become dangerous enough to need the Counter Force to intervene to stop her.Kotomine never warranted such.

Even her own creators mock her 'tragic heroine' role in Carnival Phantasm, I mean c'mon when even her creators are mocking her, it's like, is what I'm doing here really matter?

This is more a question than anything else. In HF True End, Shirou gets a new body, Sakura keeps Rider and him in existence, and Rin goes to the Clocktower right? Well, then who the hell does damage control for all the people Sakura killed during HF?! Kotomine's dead, so he can't do it, I doubt Rin can Mass Hypnotize the entire town to forget five hundred plus people just up and vanished without a trace. Does the Clocktower take her in or what? It seems odd that she kills hundreds and doesn't pay for it in any way whatsoever. She gets the boy she likes, and gets to act like she never killed hundreds of people which doesn't sit well with me.

Don't get me wrong though! Still don't hate her character, I just feel she should've been made to answer for all those deaths somehow. For the last time, I don't hate her character personally nor am I doing the 'humiliation conga' on her as one person said.

Item #3: CHARACTER SHEETS! YAY! Another double feature for you guys. Today we have Altria and Deadpool himself.

First Altria:

Class Saber

Identity: Altria Pendragon

Secondary Classes: Rider/Lancer

Parameters:

Strength: A Mana: A

Endurance: B Luck: A+

Agility: B NP: A

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: A

Riding: B

Personal Skills:

Charisma: B

Instinct: A

Prana Burst: A

Military Tactics: B

NPs:

Caliburn- Golden sword of the Victorious (A) Anti-army: The sword from the stone of Arthurian legend, and Altria's original weapon. This blade was kept in Lily's possession as she never broke the rules of chivalry and obtained Excalibur or Avalon. However as it was meant more for ornamentation then actual combat it is several ranks lower than Excalibur and is only an anti-army NP. Since it was the weapon used to give Altria her Dragon Attributes, if used against a Dragon of any rank it will be destroyed.

Rhongomyniad- The Spear that Slays Beasts (B, B+) Anti-barrier, Anti-beast: A weapon that originally belonged to Altria's father Uther, thanks to Merlin's magical enhancements she put the spear to better use than he ever did. After being heavily enchanted by Merlin this formerly simple boar hunting spear became a spear that could easily swat aside or more often crush opposing weapons and fortifications, but its most famous feat was the hunting and slaying of Phantasmal Beasts most notably the Cat-Beast Cath Pulg, the Divine Boar Twrch Trwyth, a giant, the dog-headed cynocephaly, and even a dragon. These traits have been imposed on the weapon, now an NP as Anti-Barrier and Anti-Phantasmal Beast weapon. Though it can be used while on foot, Altria often utilized Rhongomyniad along with her trusted stallion Hengroen which if she were summoned as Rider would be her primary NP, but as Saber is merely an extremely fast white stallion. Its rank is increased to B+ upon being used while mounted.

Carnwennan- Little White Hilt (B) Anti-unit, Anti Thaumaturgy: A seemingly dagger that was given to Altria upon passing her trials of knighthood in the guise of a man by Merlin and subsequently used to kill a black witch. Meant as a last line of defense, this weapon once thrown seeks out an opponent and strikes with the force of a missile six times before magically returning to its sheathe. It can also subsequently break and absorb the ambient prana from any mystery that is B-rank or below nullifying it, making it very cost effective.

Next Deadpool himself:

Servant: Saber

Name: Deadpool Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Parameters:

Strength: D Mana: E-

End: A Luck: D

Agility: A NP: D-A++

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: C

Personal Skills:

Subterfuge: (A): 60% of enemy forces can be disabled before the enemy is engaged.

Mental pollution: (A): Servant is incapable of being effected by mental magecraft, and is for all intents and purposes' insane and unpredictable.

Military Tactics: (C): User can effectively coordinate plans of attack with like-minded individuals.

Eternal Arms Mastership: (A+): prevents degradation of fighting skills when under the effect of mental hindrance.

NP's:

Healing Factor: (A+) - Allows Saber to heal from any wound short of total disintegration.

Teleporter belt: (C) Support: Allows Saber to teleport from one place to another at will x times a day where x is his mana rank.

Magic Satchel: (B) Support: Lets Saber pull out any number of objects from the satchel per day equal to x where x is his Strength attribute.

Breaking the Fourth: (D) anti-world (Self): Allows Assassin to know what is going to happen before it does as he knows he's a comic book/fan fiction character. Acts like A+++-rank in both Instinct and Clairvoyance.

Deadpool Corpse: (A++) Anti-army: Summons the Deadpool Corpse members Kidpool, Ladypool, Dogpool, and Headpool each with E-rank independent action and various tools.

Adamantium Katana's: (B+): Japanese style swords made out of the nigh indestructible metal adamantium which allows them to damage B-rank or below NP's and fight on par with A-rank or above Np's and deflect B-rank or above mysteries.

Ok now onto Item#4: The magecraft/familiar shirou showed this chapter. First the 'familiar'

Bunnicula: Bane of Phallus's

Rank: A+++ Anti- Unit, "Anti-anatomy" Range: 1-500 Max # of Targets: 1-500

Lore: A mystical beast created through Shirou's magecraft. Utilizing his Spark, a white bunny rabbit, and a syringe of Arcueid's blood, Shirou has managed to create a rabbit based Dead Apostle who is loyal to him as his familiar. Although it has all the abilities of a Dead Apostle ancestor, due to being a rabbit with a penchant for eating carrots, coupled with its new need for blood, it only attacks male victims… As his mouth is full of fangs he can literally chew through his opponents', usually choosing to start from the groin and work his way up into the chest cavity before bursting out of it.

Bunnicula has incredibly fast speed, he is quite possibly the fastest Dead Apostle ever, as, Arcueid has never come across an ancestor as fast as he was. His speed, coupled with his small size makes him almost impossible to hit even for the likes of Servants.

Next: Chrono Trigger

Rank: D-A+ Type: Anti-unit (Self) Range: 0 Max # of Targets: Self

Lore: Chrono Trigger is the result of Aoko attempting to teach Shirou Kiritsugu's Innate Time Control, which he couldn't inherit as he was not blood related to the man. He uses this magecraft by chanting the aria "Chrono Trigger 'x' Fire" where x is how fast he intends to go. It starts out at D-rank for Double Speed, costing twenty extra prana per level all the way up to A+ for six times the increase in normal speed, which, when combined with his reinforcement, would allow him to move at anywhere from ten to thirty-five times normal speed, above that of an C-ranked Servant in terms of Physical Attributes for fifteen second bursts.

Okay, that should just about do it. I'll finish up by saying you should review for more RiderxAyako, review for more Old Man Henderson and epic fights, but most importantly, review because it's my birthday tomorrow and reviews make awesome presents in my opinion. Till next time everyone, Bubbajack out Peace!