Albus Dumbledore was facing some problematic problems, to say the least.

He had a babe in his arms, one Harry Potter by name, one he had planned to drop off at his sole remaining relatives' house, until he was stopped by his deputy Headmistress, the woman on whom he confided to stop him from mishandling what little time he had in Hogwarts. He would stop to listen to her, if only to assuage her fears, as she talked about the problems with leaving Harry with the Dursleys.

She didn't understand, didn't have all the information, and there was little time to give it to her. He'd explain to her why he had to do what he had to do in a moment, just as soon as he'd left Harry to be safe in his aunt's home.

"They're the worst sort of muggles, Albus," she reminded him, repeating a phrase she'd said before, as if she feared that he hadn't been listening. He was, far be it from him to be deaf to her, but he couldn't heed her words, not now, not when he knew better than her what needed to be done to ensure Harry's safety. "They're not even truly related," she added, as an afterthought.

This stopped Dumbledore cold, even as he was walking towards the front door of the Dursley home, number 4 Privet Drive. He blinked, before turning around and regarding McGonagall with a curious look. "Pardon?"

At this, she smiled, thinking she had an in. "It's as you heard - Lily Evans was adopted into the Evans family. She shares not a drop of blood with them."

The bearded old man blinked in confusion. "Truly?" he asked, as if wishing to ensure himself.

"Truly," she confirmed, nodding at him, "she confided in me after a particularly nasty letter from her adoptive sister. It seems Petunia had told her in a fit of jealousy and envy over her inability to use magic," McGonagall continued.

"Oh dear," Dumbledore said, shaking his head, "this isn't good. I had planned on leaving Harry with his sole remaining relatives, for it is the only way in which we could ensure his protection, both from Death Eaters looking to avenge their master as well as the fame that will surely attempt to ruin his life," he said, sounding quite disappointed that he'd be forced to go with plan C, which was to leave Harry with a wizarding family where he could run the risk of growing with a big head, like a pampered prince, or forced to live under the pressure of living up to the legends that were no doubt already forming about him.

Neither was a good prospect for a child to grow up.

"Then the Dursleys would've been a bad choice either way. They'd hate him, at best, and he'd grow up without a childhood to speak of. If they did not, they would spoil him like that brat that I told you about before. Either way, they are no good as guardians for Harry," McGonagall said, with a tone of finality that told Albus that this was the last they'd ever speak of leaving Harry with the Weasleys.

He would not disagree. Some part of him was happy that he wouldn't have to curse Harry to living under the same roof as Petunia Dursley, even if now he had no way to ensure his safety to the extent the Blood Wards could. "Perhaps..." he muttered to himself. "Minerva, did Lily ever seek her biological family?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," McGonagall said, nodding. "She tracked down her father, at least, though she never could find her mother. Her father was a small time farmer living in a nameless little village in Wales, though he has since passed. She had a brother, but as far as we know, he has been missing for ten years now," she explained.

One would think it odd that she could so readily recall personal information from any given one of her students, but those would forget that Minerva McGonagall was not known for being forgetful. Couple that with the fact that Lily Evans had been the teachers' darling pet during her stay at Hogwarts, and you could easily see why her head of house could readily recall that sort of information.

"Hm... this isn't good," Dumbledore said. "Harry's mother's sacrifice... it would need him to live with a blood relative to cement its power. There is power in blood," he added, as an afterthought.

"Well... he does have two cousins, still," McGonagall said. "I don't think Lily learned much of her cousins, and before she went into hiding, her younger cousin had also seemingly disappeared off the map, or so she told me. The older cousin lives somewhere within Britain, but we haven't been able to ascertain her location."

"I hope that such a blood relation is enough to have the wards hold, for it will have to do. Do you have a name, Minerva? I must search for them at once," Dumbledore asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Lily's father last name was Springfield."

It had to have been the first time she had seen Albus Dumbledore's eyes attempt to burst out of his skull at her pronounciation. She blinked, clearly shocked at the image.

"Was it something I said?" she muttered to herself as Albus began to walk off with the babe in arms, clearly raising his hand to call for his phoenix companion, which would offer much safer travel than Apparation.

Villainous Comeback

Chapter 1: Unknown Family Ties

Dumbledore liked comfy chairs.

But he couldn't sit in one right now, as he didn't know whether it'd be seen as a breach of propriety and manners to conjure a chair for himself rather than use the one offered. It wasn't very comfortable. He realized, on some level, that it might be intentionally uncomfortable, as if to put him in a more precarious position, which he already knew he was in.

He was the one making the request, after all, and all the weight of the ICW's Supreme Mugwump meant absolutely nothing in front of the Kanto Magical Association's leader, one Konoemon Konoe, as he was not dealing with a wizard.

Indeed, Konoemon was a Mage, not a Wizard, and though some would contest the difference, any who knew would be able to explain it to you.

Dumbledore had no special power here. He was just an old man, asking for a favor from another old man, and while he longed for the days when he could relax, right now he found himself more tense than ever.

"You're asking for quite a bit," Konoemon explained, raising one of his exceptionally bushy eyebrows. Dumbledore found himself momentarily mesmerized by the odd, disturbing shape of the man's head. No doubt the end result of magical experiments gone horribly wrong.

"I know," Dumbledore said, "but I promised his parents I'd guarantee his safety, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to do so. I failed them grievously already, and I will do everything in my power to not do so completely," he explained. "As such, I am willing to negotiate a price you find convenient, for this favor."

The younger of the two old men chuckled. "A nonspecific favor," he said, shaking his head, before looking at Dumbledore for a few seconds. "You know this is a breach of the non interference agreements," Konoemon stated.

"I understand this," Dumbledore said, "but there are murky and grey legal loopholes I am very much willing to utilize to ensure that this doesn't grow out of hand. They are family, after all, before they are wizards or mages," he said.

"Truth, family is very important," Konoemon said, nodding. "Very well, then, so be it. Though it is not me you must convince. He has more than earned the right to make such decisions for himself, and I know full well that each and every one of his students will support him in whichever decision he makes."

"But you know which choice he'd make, do you not?" Albus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. Genius though he might be, he is painfully predictable at times," Konoemon said, chuckling. "I have no doubts about what his answer will be."

"You agreed!?"

Dumbledore winced at the volume of the yell that had shook all of them, as a dozen, if not more, teenaged girls, all clearly asian in features, came spilling through the paper doors that separated the room he'd been having his 'private' meeting with the young Springfield in.

He'd known they were there, of course, and so had the boy he'd been speaking to. He hadn't expected them to react this violently, but it hadn't been a surprise in its entirety.

"Well, he is my family, Chisame-san," Negi said, turning around to the girl who seemed to be at the bottom of the pile.

The long bearded, long haired Headmaster of Hogwarts smiled a little as he saw the brown haired girl begin to berate the boy for his irresponsibility and lack of foresight. He could detect no ill will or even real anger in her tone as she spoke. No, she spoke out of worry for her... friend, he supposed, for her teacher. Maybe she felt some sort of responsibility as a big sister figure of some sort.

Even if she was berating him as a wife would berate an irresponsible husband.

As she stopped, a flood of other people began to talk, and Dumbledore felt it'd be a long afternoon. He silently thanked Crouch for having taken the time to teach Dumbledore the basics of many languages. Specifically, though, he thanked Crouch for teaching him how to say "I'm sorry, I don't speak Language, could we use English instead?" in Japanese.

That came in extremely handy at times.

Nearly an hour later, of the horde of teenaged girls and a young boy, only two and the boy remained, as they approached a small, lonely cottage in the woods.

"You... What?"

Negi squirmed under the gaze of the woman who'd taught him practically everything he knew about Dark Magic. The very Tidings of Darkness herself, the Master of Puppets, the High Daylight Walker... and a plethora of other titles that she'd forgotten. Evangeline McDowell was clearly unhappy about the fact that her apprentice had just adopted his own fifteen months old cousin. "Well... He had nowhere else to go, so I-"

"Accepted before he even had the situation explained to him," Chisame said with a sneer on her face, running a hand through her face before settling two fingers on the bridge of her nose after she'd moved her glasses so they didn't bother her while she did it. "You know this idiot, if anyone needs help, he'll jump headfirst into anything."

"Well, if I had family, I wouldn't want them to wind up in an orphanage or something," Asuna commented from Negi's other side, throwing an arm around his shoulder in a silent gesture of support, and also to steady him lest he crumble in the face of Evangeline's anger.

"And how does this matter to me? It's YOUR responsibility now," Evangeline said, frowning and glaring at the three idiots, as she saw them.

"The dorms aren't a good place to raise a child. There's very little space. So..." Asuna began, with a wily smile on her face.

"Oh, no. No way. You're not dumping the kid on me! You accepted this responsibility, dammit!" the blonde yelled, pointing a dainty finger in her apprentice's face.

"B-But Master, we can't raise Harry in the dorms..." Negi said, squirming a little under Evangeline's glare. "We're already a little cramped as it is, and it's not safe for children there..."

"Oh, and it's safe for Children with me, the most dangerous criminal ever!?" Evangeline asked, rhetorically.

Negi nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! You're really nice, Master, and so strong that nobody would bother you!" he said, smiling in such a way as if he didn't, in any way, shape or form doubt that what he was saying was true.

Evangeline blushed slightly. "Nice!?" she protested.

"I don't think he's a good judge of character," Chisame commented, flatly.

"You're right," Asuna added.

"HEY! Wait- why am I protesting!? I'm not nice! I'm evil!" Evangeline said, shaking her head. "And I said no! I'm not going to take care of your brat for you! Don't bring it into my home!"

"But Master... you're the only one who has a house big enough on campus..." Negi said, before looking down for a few seconds. He took a deep breath and remembered something. "If you let us use your home, I'll lick your feet like I promised back when you accepted to train me," he said, his face morphing into a determined one.

Asuna protested, raising her hand as if to lecture him, but Negi turned to her and shook his head.

Chisame snorted. "He's done worse things for power anyway," she said, reminiscing about things she'd rather forget.

"That's not enough, boya!" Evangeline said. "If I'm going to do this, you're going to have to agree to do everything I tell you! And I'm not going to raise this kid myself, at this home, so you're going to have to move here, too!"

Asuna and Chisame both looked at each other. Before Negi could as much as say a word, both of their fists came down upside his head, and stopped him cold.

"Yeah, no. We're not letting you walk into an agreement with terms THAT open," Chisame said, simply.

"Even I'm not that stupid," Asuna said, glaring at him.

"But I have to!" Negi protested. "Besides, Master is nice. I'm sure she won't make me do anything that's very painful or humiliating... right?" he asked, turning a hopeful look towards Evangeline.

She grinned, evily, as she crossed her arms and looked at them with contempt. "Of course not, boya... you're just going to have to become my husband, is all."

"You ARE aware that's illegal, right?" Asuna asked.

"It's just a head start, Kagurazaka," Evangeline said, grinning widely. "I'll stake my claim on boya now to avoid problems when he's legal," she said, shrugging.

Chisame frowned. "You can't be thinking of accepting this," she said, looking at where Negi stood, eyes closed and thinking, a serious frown on his face.

He nodded. "You're right. I don't need to think," he said, opening his eyes. "I accept."

Evangeline promptly lost her grin. "Wa- really?" she asked, a curious expression on her face.

"Yes," Negi confirmed, nodding, with an easy smile on his face. "I like Master, so I don't think it'd be too bad to be married," he said.

Hearing this, Evangeline let out a loud, triumphant laugh that would haunt the nightmares of small children for centuries.

Harry James Potter was a happy child.

He lived in a small cottage in the woods of Mahora Academy City, the extremely large campus of the largest school in the entire world, which he also attended. The cottage was small only on the outside, though, as within it was a large, if still cozy, and lavish home for both him and his family. He had parents, though he didn't look like them.

There was his father, a rather tall young man of some eighteen or so years. There were minor similarities between him and his father, one of which was the hair, which on both of them was messy, though while Harry's hair would curl if he allowed it to grow long, his father's hair would fall behind his back in a cascade of spikes. The color couldn't be any more different, as Harry's hair was as dark as the night while his father's was a bright, fiery red. There were other similarities, such as their facial structures, specifically their cheekbones and chin, being similar, and their mannerisms being similar as well, but beyond that, there wasn't much to compare them with.

Particularly because while his adoptive father was rather tall, Harry found himself on the shorter end of the spectrum, when compared to his classmates at least. Given that he was an English boy comparing himself to Japanese boys, this was even more noticeable, as the height average for either country was against him.

However, if Harry had few similarities with his father, then he had none with his mother... except their height. Admittedly, this was because his mother looked, for all the world, as if she was only ten years old, which was quite distracting. She was blonde, with very long and silky smooth hair... Harry liked his mother's hair a whole lot, because it was so soft and it annoyed her a lot when he or his father ran their hands through it.

There was also her tendency to wear black, and more disturbing to Harry, the tendency to wear outfits so risqué that people'd often wondered if the woman who sometimes dropped by to pick him up from grade school was some sort of erotic cosplayer.

Oh. Hadn't mentioned that, right?

Harry's mother didn't always look like she was ten years old. Sometimes, she used her magic, her inherent power, to transform herself into an adult woman, with all that it entailed, including sizable breasts, a pert behind and of course, the stature to accompany it. Privately, Harry liked his mother's smaller form better. There were many more ways to play with her when her arms weren't long enough to keep him away without him being able to do anything about it.

Harry liked his parents a lot. His father was a hero, a very important one at that, who had once saved an entire world! And he did it because it was the right thing to do, not for the sake of a reward, or anything of the sort.

His mother, meanwhile...

Well, if his father was cool, then his mother was the coolest. Simply because she was an evil villain, and everyone knows that the villain is always cooler than the hero. They got to wear all the best, most stylysh clothes, they had the best lairs, and Harry thought that the cottage he lived in was an example of this, and failing that, he could always mention the resort palace his mother owned, and more importantly...

Villains had the best songs and the most memorable lines, as well.

So while Harry thought his father was a very cool guy and all, he was certain that his mother was a whole lot cooler. Then again, young Harry's perspective was a bit skewed. After all, he'd grown up in a household where there was a murderous doll that threatened with disemboweling every one of his classmates he brought home, and he had robot maids taking care of each and every one of his needs. His mother was the most notorious criminal of all time, with the highest bounty ever put on a criminal, and his father was the nicest and most cheerful eldritch abomination you could find on Earth.

People who met his family thought that they were quite weird, and Harry often had trouble socializing with his peers because of it, as he was always ready to fervently defend them. It didn't help that spending time in a resort that lengthened an hour into a day as well as being raised by two people who didn't know what a 'childhood' was led to Harry maturing mentally quite a bit ahead of his peers.

Fortunately, however, Harry had loads and loads of aunts, all of whom hovered around his home and visited fairly often, and who had been quite helpful and supportive of him, which helped him a lot during his younger years.

Later on, however, there was another, easier solution, when Harry showed signs of a bright enough mind that would allow Evangeline's robotic maids to tutor him so he could skip grades, and be with his peers, instead of around children.

Eventually, Harry wound up with boys no less than four years his senior, and while there was a little friction at the start, he soon made friends. He had two best friends who'd been the first to be friendly to him, on his first day, and who'd been the ones who'd basically made the experience of school worthwhile. Otherwise, he'd just have quit school to be home schooled by his mother's robot maids.

Harry's best friends were also quite fond of his home, though whether it be because of the cute robot maids, the great and plentiful food or the fact that at least one of them got along really well with Chachazero (mostly because he was an aspiring horror writer and Chachazero knew a lot about how to scare people shitless), Harry didn't know. Where you to ask them, however, they would've just told you that it was because of all of the above, as well as the size of his house allowing them to hang out comfortably, the fact that Harry owned the latest game consoles.

And it'd be a lie.

The true reason they had unanimously decided to hang out at Harry's house was simply because of his mother.

Because both boys were experiencing puberty, and it was widely agreed in their classroom that Harry Springfield's mother was a Grade S MILF. Those two were the envy of their male classmates, because their inherent niceness had allowed them to grow close to the boy whose mother was the source of many a masturbation fantasy. The fact that the two told tales of what that woman wore around the house, which was not much, had certainly helped their popularity a great deal.

Having Harry around to confirm his mother's ridiculously sexy outfits, and even pictures of it, certainly didn't hurt.

Some would wonder why Harry never reacted to the comments about his mother in a stereotypically violent fashion... and that would be because Harry understood that his mother was an evil villain, and evil villains are supposed to be sexy as all hell. Therefore, it only made sense for everyone to lust after his mother, given that she was a villain. Plus, it didn't seem to bother her, so why should he let it bother him?

Though it was a bit annoying to have everyone comment on how hot his mother was every time they saw him, due to repetition, if nothing else.

There was also some weirdness in that his father sometimes slipped and called his mother 'Master' instead of her name, but she seemed to always be happy when that happened, so he didn't mind it too much.

And his father couldn't stop crying whenever they watched the Lion King.

There was also the fact that for some reason, every time one or sometimes more of his aunties came over, he'd be kicked out of the house for the day, while they'd discuss adult matters he was apparently too young for still.

He'd tried to sneak in and listen in on their conversations, but never had quite managed it.

They must've been really fun conversations, too, because his aunts would always have the biggest smiles on their faces when they left, and his mom would always be smugly satisfied afterwards.

His father always looked really tired those days, though. Harry knew his father worked really, really hard all the time, but he never looked quite as tired as during the days when three or four of his aunties would drop by at the same time.

Maybe he'd understand when he was older. That's what they kept telling him, anyway. His mother was always on Harry's side, though, arguing that his father had started having those adult conversations not much older than Harry was, but she was always rebuked with the fact that Harry's father had special circumstances and no one should have to be in adult conversations before they were ready.

Then it became a very heated debate until they took it into the resort, usually locking it behind them.

Things were always okay after that, so Harry assumed they were just having more adult conversations. His auntie Chisame and his auntie Chachamaru seemed to have a lot of those with his mother, whenever the two dropped by, and his father was usually dragged into it unwillingly.

All in all, Harry was enjoying his life, and he was ready to continue living simply the way he was... at least, until that letter arrived.

What letter?

Well, one that should have been delivered by an owl instead of an old man, and one who invited him to a school of magic. A letter that Harry had been expecting, though he'd feared it might not come.

Finally, the time to attend Hogwarts had arrived.

"You got everything?" Evangeline asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not flying all the way to Scotland to fetch your toothbrush, so you better make sure you've got everything," she said.

At this, Negi scratched the back of his neck, chuckling lightly, "you've got your checklist, right?" he asked.

"Yes, I've got everything," Harry said, nodding, before walking up to his father and giving him a hug. "I'll miss you, dad," he said.

"Don't worry, we'll be seeing each other again as soon as christmas rolls around," Negi said, patting his head.

Then Harry turned to his mother and hugged her, as well. However, as they were nearly the same height, this hug was a lot less awkward in that sense, but a lot more awkward in that Evangeline merely awkwardly patted his back as he hugged her. "I'll make you proud, mom..."

Evangeline smiled for a bit. "You're going to be a great villain one day, Harry," she said. "You better don't disappoint me!"

Negi smiled at the sight of his wife and son interacting. Usually, Evangeline was rarely that affectionate, even when it was just himself and Harry... it was clear that she'd at least grown a little attached to the son he'd forced on her. He was glad he'd made that choice, so long ago. Even if this hadn't been what he pictured his future like back then... He could say he was happy and satisfied with how it'd gone.

Even if now he was resisting the urge to cry like a baby while his son, the one he'd raised when he himself had been but a child forced to mature faster by circumstance, went to school back on their shared homeland.

"Are you sure Dumbledore said it was okay to take one of the Chacha models with you?" Negi asked, looking at his son, trying to find something to talk about so as to stem the tears in an effort to not look like a fool in front of his son. Plus, he knew Evangeline liked it when he cried on her, even if she later denied it.

"Yes. He said he could easily pass it off as a homunculus familiar," Harry said, nodding.

That was good. Neglecting his studies while he was away would've been bad.

Well, that, and every villain needed to have their trusty henchmen. Harry would be naked without at least one robot servant, at least until he could start building his evil empire within the school. Evangeline approved of his reasoning, of course. Negi simply gave up when they turned two against one on him.

And so Harry sent his owl response to Hogwarts, to McGonagall.

Except, instead of the usual response, he'd been coached by Evangeline into writing a properly threatening note.

He stood at the top of a recent tower that had been built into Mahora's main building, after an incident involving the most recent class 3-A and a truck full of tapioca pudding had resulted in the destruction of the old Clock Tower, with an owl resting on his arm. He knew he had to make a properly villainous move here, as per his mother's teachings. "When you get to Hogwarts, Owl, tell them that I'm coming to rule!" Harry commanded, and gestured with the arm the owl was perched in for it to move.

And it departed, its message to be delivered.

Harry giggled to himself, smiling. "That was so fun!" he said, before heading back down.

Meanwhile, as she scrying from a safe distance, Evangeline cackled triumphantly.

Negi slumped. "I'm just hoping Hogwarts will still be standing by christmas..."

"Huh..."

The owl hooted.

McGonagall blinked. "Maybe we should've left him with the Dursleys."

Albus Dumbledore smiled. "He's a good boy," he said, patting the head of Gryffindor on the shoulder.

"I knew Potter was sure to grow into an entitled brat, but this is ridiculous," Snape commented.

"Oh dear," Flitwick said, "Harry Potter, a villain!?"

"Merlin help us all," Sprout added.

"You're all doomed! YOU'RE DOOMED! DOOM!" Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black's portrait yelled. "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Everyone looked at the portrait. Including the other portraits.

"Do you not see it, fools!? The Dark Evangel trained him to be her successor! Her legacy!"

At this, all the heads of house looked at each other, while Dumbledore merely smiled indulgently.

"Oh shit," Snape vocalized, and for a moment, the houses were truly united as every one felt a chill run down their spines.

Interesting Notes:

Harry's threatening one liner comes from one Bartuc the Bloody, also known as the Warlord of Blood, or due to a hilarious misspelling in Median XL, the Warblood of Blood. The original is "When you get to hell, Maggot, tell them that I'm coming to rule!"

It's a Legacy of Blood.

The two guys who Harry befriended are expies of Junpei and Ryoji from Persona 3. There might be an omake or two in which they're distracted by Evangeline's sheer sexiness. She does it intentionally. Evil is supposed to be sexy and tempting. And yes, this does mean that Harry attended school with Yukari as well. Fuuka's in another class, though, and Akihiko and Mitsuru are both a year ahead, so he never met them.

Also, for those of you who know me, you know that I don't like the trend that plagues Negima crossovers with practically everything.

Namely, having a crossover character drop in and instantaneously gain a harem, usually also becoming better at everything than everyone else, and overall being a gigantic Gary Stu. It doesn't help that, usually, they're also irredeemable monsters and, if not outright pedophiles, then at least borderline.

It should be clear that Harry does not have a premade harem, that he is not in a relationship with Evangeline (who is the most common crossover pairing with Negima... seriously, it's impressive how often Evangeline is paired with the self insert wearing the crossover character's skin) except the one where she is his adoptive mother, and even then, she's not his adoptive mother because she took an inexplicable interest in him, as it's so often shown.

Seriously, Evangeline wouldn't give a flying fuck about Harry. Or Britain, for that matter. Face it, guys, if Dumbledore came around asking for her help she'd just laugh in his face and tell him to go get buggered. And Dumbledore would never ask HER of all people. The only reason she does in this fic is because she grew attached AFTER Negi had already convinced to take him in. Without Negi involved, neither Dumbledore nor Harry would be able to pique her interest.

And don't tell me that they'd offer to lift her curse, because I very much doubt they can break a curse cast by Nagi, who's basically the world's strongest man on raw power alone.

So... yeah. This fic is the result of trying to make a somewhat plausible situation in which Harry would wind up in Evangeline's care.