This collection will host drabbles and oneshots that do not fit my other Harry Potter "I have an Idea, Harry" theme as well as those composed by Pax Humana (FFN ID: 3054606) and myself, Cloud Zen (FFN ID: 894440), from ideas that we both decide to explore.

In this first case, I happened across a decade old song serving as background music while reading a piece of Harry/Hermione fan fiction, Lucky Harry by Pyrgus. The combination of the two, and the fact that "me" and "Hermione" rhyme, made me wonder about what an Out-Of-Character version of Hermione that might fit the song title would be like.

Between the two of us, we composed multiple drabbles. After much thought, only the following ones were deemed safe to post on FFN given the current environment after the June 2012 incident where countless stories were removed for explicit heterosexual content.

Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy (Hermio)ne

By: Cloud Zen

If Harry were to be completely frank with himself, he was not surprised that Hermione chose to continue her education after the war. After finishing her last year at Hogwarts and earning her NEWTs, Hermione had returned to the muggle world and enrolled in Cambridge, much to the protest of one Ron Weasley.

The two were no longer speaking, much less dating, as a result.

Harry had followed her in an attempt to get away from the Wizarding World and his near deity status among the sheep. It had taken a lot of work but Harry had managed to get himself enrolled along with Hermione. After so long together at Hogwarts and living in the tent during the War, Harry found it a foregone conclusion that the two would simply share a flat.

Eight years of being friends did not prepare Harry for the new facet of Hermione's personality that muggle university revealed.

"Hermione, are you trying to give everyone on campus a heart attack?" Harry tried to bite his tongue but utterly failed when she walked out of her bedroom in that skirt.

Free of the extremely conservative Wizarding World, Hermione had flourished. Harry knew that would happen but simply expected it to be in ways other than her sexuality. The skirt she was wearing meant even the slightest of bending over would let everyone know whether or not she was wearing anything underneath.

A sultry smirk was his only answer while she collected her texts for class.

"Maybe I am. Either way, don't you think the professors are awfully nice when I take the time to dress up?"

Harry snorted. He typically thought of her dressing up involving a nice dress, dinner at a fancy restaurant, and a ballet, opera, or some theater production. A skirt that barely classified as a belt and a top that her ample cleavage nearly spilled from with every step was not that.

"Oh they're nicer alright."

Before he could continue, Hermione stalked towards him. She stopped just shy of pressing her bust into him, giving Harry a very clear view down the front of her blouse revealing that she was obviously not wearing a bra. Harry audibly gulped as she leaned forward, letting her lips almost meet his. Harry's eyes were drawn to her lips and even the subtle grazing of her fingers on the hem of his slacks failed to distract him.

Quickly pulling back a beaming smile broke out on Hermione's face. "See? Even you can tell. Now hurry up or we'll be late for class."

Shaking his head in exasperation, Harry grabbed his notes for class and could not help but whistle as he followed Hermione's hypnotically swaying hips out the door.

With a grin, he whispered a final thought as he locked the door to their one bedroom flat. Pocketing his key, Harry felt the gold band on his left ring finger.

"She's always so worked up when I let her go out like this. I'm getting so lucky tonight!"

~~~oOoOoOo~~~

Punishment

By: Cloud Zen

Harry almost dreaded going to bed. He knew what was coming. He and Hermione would walk their rounds as Head Boy and Head Girl, return to the common room, and after saying good night, she would give him that look.

And when they entered the Gryffindor common room, she gave it to him.

Oh, how he hated that look.

Oh, how he loved that look.

Inevitably, Harry would find himself unable to sleep after experiencing it. His mind would race and even the coldest of showers proved unable to alleviate the resultant situation.

It was punishment and he knew it. Whenever Harry fell behind on his book work, based on Hermione's strict standards, she would give him that look, knowing exactly what it would do to him, the way it would make his heart race and fuel his imagination. It promised so much that he knew she would deny coming his way.

There was only a single saving grace about that look.

Harry emerged from his private bath to the sight of a naked Hermione, panting, eyes filled with lust, waiting for him on his bed.

"You know how worked up you get whenever you try this," he said.

Hermione pounced.

Some time later, Harry held a sweaty, still naked, very sated, dozing Hermione to his chest. With a quick charm to check the time when she entered his room, Harry had to suppress a chuckle for fear of waking her.

"You managed to hold off for three hours tonight. That's better than normal."

~~~oOoOoOo~~~

Games and Rewards

By: Pax Humana

She was doing it again.

He knew she was.

He was determined not to let it get to him. It was hard- no, difficult, to keep his mind off it, though. The way she would lean forward as she sat next to him on the couch, subtly drawing attention to her chest. The way she would accidentally brush against him when it was his turn to ruin his concentration.

And the way she would laugh after he lost, that sound and the sight wrecking any chance he had of really protesting her cheating.

Hermione had always been such a stickler for the rules at Hogwarts. Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was the troll incident where she lied to the staff including both her own Head of House and the Headmaster to protect the boys who came to rescue her. And the time she tied up poor Neville at the end of that school year was hardly fitting that image either. Nor was her punching Malfoy, or tearing a page out of a library book! And she told off that phoney of a Divination teacher, too. In fact, now that he thought about it, she wasn't really good at obeying the rules after all.

She was good about not getting punished, however. Such a naughty teasing bitch she could be.

Just as she was sure would be the case tonight, he knew.

While he was distracted, not brooding, no, distracted, he had lost. Again.

Hermione turned to him, that bouncing on her chest drawing his eyes like it always did. "Are you ready for the next round, dear?" She was grinning at him.

"Just a minute. Someone stole my drink."

She just laughed. "Get me one too while you're up."

Harry just nodded, getting Hermione's hot chocolate and his own butterbeer. By the time he got back only a minute later, Hermione had sprawled over his seat, her shirt, his really, hanging loose and exposing a little more of her cleavage. It was artistic, beautiful, mouth-watering. He hastily gulped a third of his drink.

Her knowing smile pierced him as he handed over her sinfully rich hot chocolate. She moaned as she drank it, opening her eyes. "Thank you, Harry. That was just what I needed."

When it was her turn, Hermione was as focused as a laser beam, Long ago, he had tried to distract her to no avail. The one time he had managed it, she turned on him with such a look he never tried again.

So instead, he relaxed, holding her with one arm as he watched her while she played.

Then, his turn. He hit start and not ten seconds in, his sexy, innocent wife stretched. Stretched! And when he finally turned his eyes back to the game and got back on track, she leaned in and snuggled against him. Normally, Harry was all for that but in his hyper aware state, the way she let the shirt fall open and dragged her breasts along his upper arm was maddening.

"Oh, that's a shame." Hermione whispered in his ear, her breath caressing him.

On the screen, despite himself, Harry had drifted off into the bushes. Then Hermione said in a seductive tone, "Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Here, let me make it up to you."

She leaned in, kissing him on the cheek right near the ear, her body brushing against him more and Harry closed his eyes, trying not to ravish his wife right there on the living room couch.

He opened them ten seconds later, completely expecting the big Game Over that was flashing on the screen.

"You, Hermione Potter, are a cheater." Despite his best intentions, there was no heat in the accusation.

Hermione's musical laughter sealed it. "Of course, Harry." She leaned in, getting her congratulatory kiss. "And it's still your turn to do the washing up."

Harry grumbled and turned away. Her voice froze him in his tracks.

"Don't take too long, dear. I might just have to start without you."

That dire threat saw Harry whip out the Elder Wand, casting a quick spell setting the dishes to wash themselves and he chased after his laughing wife.

Twenty years they'd known each other and he owed every minute of his present happiness to his lovely wife. Besides, he knew that she would make sure he enjoyed losing to her just as much as she enjoyed winning their little bets.

It was why he let her win, after all.

~~~oOoOoOo~~~

Sexy, Naughty (Hermio)ne

By: Pax Humana

It had been ten years since Harry James Potter had first seen Hermione in That Dress at the Yule Ball at Hogwarts. Ten years since he had been inspired to become worthy of the witch who wore it. It had been five years since he had, Merlin knows how, convinced her he had succeeded.

But every time she looked at him that way, he knew he had made the right choice. Ron would never have made her happy and that would have been unforgivable.

Further thought left his head as his sexy, naughty Hermione stalked towards him like a predator, her clothes dropped in a line on the floor and pulled him up out of his chair where he had watched her strip tease. The kiss she gave him promptly restarted his brain and he did his best to give her every ounce of passion he possessed.

She moaned then pushed him onto the bed, smiling like the cat that got the cream as she prepared to give her husband his true birthday present. Though if she had her way with him, and she would, he'd give her something for her troubles, too.

"Stop thinking, Harry. Don't worry about anything else tonight. You. Are. Mine, Mr Potter."

Harry's hands were already busy as he groaned in her ear. "Yes, Mrs Potter."

As stated above, THIS COLLECTION WILL NOT BE SOLELY MY WORK. It will also include Harry Potter drabbles and one-shots composed by Pax Humana (and potentially others) from prompts that we jointly choose to explore. Consolidating this to a single collection for the both of us simply made more sense and we decided I would be the one to manage it.

If you enjoyed either, please review, and consider following either or both of us.