Room to Spare

A Naruto oneshot

By

EvilFuzzy9

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Characters/Pairings: Naruto, Gaara, Killer Bee, Fuu; [mostly just the canon-ish shipteases]

Summary: Nine jinchuuriki sharing an apartment. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? [A long-requested spiritual successor to three separate one shots; drabbles, crack]

"Woohoo! I've done it!"

Fuu's victorious shout rang through the apartment. Seconds later, the girl herself came bounding from her room, beaming brightly as she sprang into the living room.

Gaara looked up from his laptop, and Roshi peered at Fuu over the edge of his newspaper. Naruto set down his weekly issue of Shonen Jump and quirked an eyebrow.

"Huh. You look pretty perky today, Fuu," the blond remarked from his vantage point on the floor.

The cavorting verdette narrowly avoided stepping on his face.

"What did you do?" Gaara wondered, looking tired already. "Please tell me it didn't cause any collateral damage."

Fuu laughed.

"Nope, nothing like that! No need to worry, man." She grinned from ear to ear, striking a flashy pose. "I've just FINALLY MADE A HUNDRED FRIENDS!"

Roshi blinked once. Twice.

He then sighed and returned his attention to the newspaper, muttering something about damn kids under his breath.

"A hundred friends?" Naruto parroted quizzically. A moment later he laughed. "Wow, good for you!"

"Yeah, yeah! I know, right?" Fuu chirped. "A whole HUNDRED! Haha, I can't believe how well it actually worked, either!"

"Yeah, I don't even know what you did, but it must've been really something if you made a whole hundred friends!"

"Hehehe... but that's just a woman's power, bro!" Fuu bragged, striking an exaggerated gravure pose.

Naruto laughed at this and clapped her on the shoulder, beaming.

"Maybe, haha!"

Gaara hummed thoughtfully.

"By friends," he said slowly, "would you be referring to people you met on the internet?"

"On tumblr, yeah," Fuu said with a nod. "Why do you ask?"

Gaara frowned and typed something into his laptop. His eyes scanned over the screen for a moment.

"...'Wanna play cards? Backgammon? ...or maybe take a bath~?'" he read aloud, a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Really, Fuu?"

He shook his head and let out a sigh.

Fuu cocked her head to one side, as though she didn't understand what he was talking about.

"What is it, Gaara?" Naruto asked, his curiosity piqued. He leaned over to view the laptop screen.

A beat.

Naruto's face blossomed into a vibrant shade of red.

"Oh, wow. Um..."

He coughed and nervously averted his gaze.

Fuu blinked innocently. She peered over Gaara's shoulder. Then she laughed and grinned toothily.

"Ah, yeah," she cheerily observed. "That one was probably reblogged the most."

Naruto turned to look at Fuu.

"...I don't think this counts as having a hundred friends, Fuu."

"Eh? Why not?" she asked.

"You posted pictures of yourself taking a bath," he deadpanned.

"Yeah, so?"

"Including pictures of yourself getting out of the bath. With no towel. Naked."

"...I don't see where you're going with this, man."

Gaara sighed and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Fuu," he said bluntly. "You're a fit and relatively attractive young woman who posted nude selfies on tumblr. I... think you might not be sending quite the message you think you're sending."

"It probably doesn't help that the top half of her face was cropped out in most of the pictures," Roshi added absentmindedly, turning a page in the newspaper.

Naruto and Gaara turned to stare at Roshi, silently judging.

Fuu's face lit up, on the other hand.

"Ah! Old man! You're t4nt33n-t1nyt1t5-l0vr69, aren't you?!" she exclaimed. "Haha! Thanks for all that advice on staging the pictures, it helped me get loads more popular!"

The older jinchuuriki coughed.

"...er, you're welcome," he said.

Naruto and Gaara did a facefault.

A/N: For a while, I was iffy about checking out that "New Chuunin Exams" filler arc... but then I was sick one day and had nothing better to do.

I was pleasantly surprised. It's actually pretty good for the most part! And without a doubt, my favorite parts have been those revolving around Fuu. If I liked her before based almost entirely on appearance, the personality she's been given by the anime staff has made me fall in love, haha!

Not least of which because it's actually kinda similar to how I've portrayed Fuu here. Talk about strange minds thinking alike, eh? ;D

("the gutter" is my mind's home away from home
y'know, just in case you still had any doubts)

Updated: 4-30-15

TTFN and R&R!

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