A/N: Greeting readers, this is a storyline that is inspired from my everyday experiences, not necessarily my own life history, but things i've either observed or though/- could relate towards.

This story will probably contain grammar mistakes and miss usage of the english language in terms of spelling. - and i apologise in beforehand.

Disclaimers: i don't own the original movie or the characters overall, only the plot and the OCC-..ness?

- also this is a male x male fic, though i don't understand why you would have thought differently..

Parings: Harry Potter x Severus Snape

Learning to love

Harry was as content as he could with his life at the moment. He didn't feel the need to complain all to much, though it had been a little to lonely than he would have liked it to be. His relatives had gone on a long vacation to Spain for the remainder of the summer and if that wasn't enough solitude he hadn't received any letters from his friends for weeks and wondered why.

Harry was sitting outside with a glass of water, listening to the soft buzzing of bees an the neighbours muffled shouts about chores that had to be done. Chores he himself usually would have been forced to do, those same chores that had been ignored since the leave of his relatives.

Harry knew they probably would throw a fit about it whenever they decided to grace him with they're unwanted presence. But Harry had already decided that he wouldn't be anywhere near the house when that would accrue.

No, Harry would probably be miles away from privet drive and since he didn't plan to ever return why would he bother with trying to please them?

Harry got up from his position on the ground to go inside. He would be leaving towards the ''Order'' in a couple of days and thought it best to have everything packed and ready, even if it only was his own excuse to have something to do.

Because of his relatives absence he'd been living more freely, using the couch as his bed or eating whatever he found in the kitchen, even if it wasn't much they'd left behind, wherever he wanted.

He was also sleeping in longer and taking far to long morning showers just because he could. So yes, Harry was more comfortable and relaxed in his life than he had ever been before but also bored out of his mind.

And being left alone and bored left Harry to his thoughts and it was starting to get unbecoming and uncomfortable.

Harry started thinking more over his insecurities and rethink his choices, he started to doubt, get more frustrated and most of all hate on himself.

Harry sat down on the couch and closed his eyes wishing that the next couple of days would soon be over.

It was a cold august evening and far to quiet than Harry would have liked. Today Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, his godfather and other pseudo godfather, would come to get him.

He hadn't understood why he couldn't have been moved earlier, being all alone in a house didn't leave much of a threat he thought. Dumbledore had specifically said in his second year that the blood wards around his aunts house would keep him safe from Voldemort but since Harry hadn't asked how it technically worked he didn't know and therefore couldn't really fault it that much.

He had sent a letter telling Dumbledore that he would be alone for the summer and wondered if it would be okay to come to the order hideout earlier but had only received a short reply saying that if he wanted to keep himself and his friends safe he would stay under the wards. Harry hadn't sent anymore letters to him and felt a slight dislike towards the headmaster, playing with his feelings and all again..

''Hello pup!'' Harry whipped around and saw his godfather standing behind him with open arms. Before Sirius could react he had his arms full of his godson.

''Sirius! What took you so long?'' Harry asked as he laughed at his godfathers attics. Harry had only known his godfathers for two years and hadn't had as much contact with either of them during the summer so he was shocked to see that Sirius had trimmed his hair short and Remus grown out a bit of a beard.

''We got held up, I swear to you the order has turned in to a bunch of crazy baboons.'' Both Harry and Remus could se the bemusement on Sirius face but decided not to comment on it further.

''So how has summer been Harry?, we haven't heard from you at all since the end of the year,'' Remus asked while looking a bit concerned. It had bothered him that they hadn't received any answers from Harry during the summer, both he and Sirius had been afraid Harry was upset with them over something.

''You didn't get my letters? I thought you were to busy to respond so after the third letter or so i stopped sending them.'' Harry said looking interested. He hadn't gotten any responses from any of the letters he had sent.. all of them couldn't have gotten lost could they?

''But we wrote a bunch of letters too, are you saying you didn't receive them either?'' Remus asked and when they got a negative shook from Harry they started to get suspicious, something where not right..

''The only one who answered my letters was Dumbledore but that was in the beginning of the summer..'' Harry said and was now starting to question the old man even more, he couldn't be behind this could he?

Was this another attempt from Dumbledore, trying to manipulate his life? Sure, after the incidence in second year; with the flying car and all, he guessed he had disobeyed the rule to stay safe, but he was young! The only other time he had tried to ''endanger'' himself was in third year when Dudley had thought it to be fun to play ''Harry hunting piñata'' when he had discovered the agony his smelting stick could cause. That's Harry sent a letter to Sirius asking if he could live with him for the rest of the summer unknowingly leaving traces of tears on the paper.

Of course Dumbledore came for a visit later that evening making him feel guilty for ''endangering not only himself but the safety of is godfather.'' Sirius had gone to Dumbledore demanding to know his godsons whereabouts which had been a 2 hour long conversation with he headmaster and ended with Sirius not being aloud to leave the house under any circumstances and to have 24 hour observation from the order to not disobey. Harry had later that evening been made to write another letter to ''calm him down'' explaining that he was just bored and wanted to spend some time with him and that the tear traces only were smudges of water since he drank when he was writing.

Harry suspected that Dumbledore defiantly knew something was wrong in the household of his relatives but didn't want to deal with it our thought it was ordinary in the muggle world.

''We should get to the orders hideout and speak to Dumbledore, something isn't right.'' Remus said feeling slightly annoyed at the thought that their communication had been cut of because of Dumbledore, what if something happened during the summer and the only one knowing of it would be the headmaster, that legally had no right without consent from Harrys guardians, in the muggle world that would be the Dursleys but in the magical society would be, convict or not, Sirius Black.

Sirius nodded while Harry was deep in his own thoughts thinking over all the times the old headmaster had meddled with his life in anyway and so far something didn't sit right with him.

''..ry''

''..arry..''

''Pup! wake up!'' Sirius had been trying to get his attention after noticing that Harry was nowhere in the land of the living. When he met his godsons concerned and slightly saddened stare he knew that Harry hid more than they knew.

''Hmm? Are we leaving now?'' Harry asked as he tried to get back from his thoughts.

''Yes, you've got all you need? Should we go inside to say a final goodbye?'' Sirius joked at the end since he knew his godson weren't to fond of them.

''No need, they aren't even home and i have everything with packed so we could leave now.'' Harry asked not noticing the slight change in his way of speaking, it had turned from slightly breathy an excitement to monotone and indifferent.

Before Sirius could ask he got jabbed in the side by Remus and received a stare that said 'later'.

''Alright then, if you and Sirius apparates first ill be right behind.''

Harry grabbed a hold on Sirius arm and the other hold his trunk while Sirius had taken Hedwigs cage and Harrys separate backpack in his other hand they disappeared with a sharp snap.

The orders hideout was nothing Harry had ever expected, he had thought it would be a mansion somewhere in Scotland, surrounded by threes and with wards that could compete with Hogwarts, somewhere he could actually think that his loved ones was safe but instead there in the middle of London.

Sirius had shortly after they'd arrived explained about the fidelius charm that surrounded the house, which would have convinced him to feel safety if it wasn't for the amusing mistake in the numbering that caused number 11 to sit beside number 13. If the death eaters observed as well as he, a 15 year old, there where only a matter of time; then again they were pretty oblivious.

upon entering the hideout he found out he didn't like it at all. It was cramped, dirty and gloomy. He could feel the depression and insanity seep from the walls of the old Black household and the smothering air that clogged up his senses.

''Lovely isn't it?'' Sirius said sarcastically with a bemused laugh. Harry snorted in amusement at his godfathers question and kept walking towards the dining room.

As he entered he got a look of all the new people surrounding the dinner table. At the end sat Mr. Weasley looking slightly uncomfortable while talking to a ruff looking man. Beside them sat the twins talking with a lilac haired woman, they looked to be the only ones that hold a pleasant conversation, and of course Severus Snape standing in the corner; observing the interactions surrounding him.

''He hasn't arrived yet?'' Asked Sirius and it was no question who he referred too.

''No not yet.. it seems he's gotten held up..'' drawled Snape showing his uninterested as he kept looking around him. His eyes moved to Harry and stayed even though Harry met his stare. Harry noticed for the first time that his professors pitch black eyes was guarded but still reviled questions on the surface. The connection was broken when a girly screeching voice screamed his name and soon he found himself on the floor with a tall redheaded girl on top of him.

''Excuse me?'' Harry asked and looked at the girl with a questioning gaze. He felt extremely offended by the act. Ginny may be the sister of his best friend but what gave her the right to cling onto him?

The silence was thickening by the minute and Harry still didn't look away and expected an explanation to the ruff act towards his person. Some may say this was unlike Harry but those who observed knew he wasn't a fan of touching and defiantly didn't appreciate this sort of 'fan-girl' behaviour.

''I- i just wanted to say hi..'' Ginny trailed of embarrassed. She was tall for a girl and looked more bulkier. She wasn't unattractive, but she was defiantly more of a 'tom-boy' kind of girl and her behaviour did not complement it.

Harry didn't answer as he stood up and the fact that he was upset showed on his face even though he tried to hide it. Ginny had rushed out of the room in tears but thankfully the uncomfortable silence was cut by no other than Snape.

''Well.. wasn't that an melodramatic exit?... '' Harry stifled a chuckle at that but couldn't hide his amusement and in the corner of his eyes he could see his professors expression change from slight shock into his own small amused smile.

Mrs. Weasley entered the kitchen with a confused expression but everyone ignored it as they continued their earlier conversations. A little more than 10 minutes pasted and Dumbledore entered the dining room in all his glory.

''Headmaster, finally felt the need to grace us with your presence i see?'' Severus asked sarcastically and could hear muffled chuckles from the end of the table wear Harry and the twins sat. Severus felt his ego boost but didn't show.

Dumbledore just looked sharply at Severus but let the comment go as he sat down at the table. It didn't take long until he noticed Harry and said person felt unnerved at the stare.

''Harry, my boy, it's wonderful to see you; everything's well i presume?'' He asked while his eyes twinkled.

''I'm not complaining.'' Harry answered shortly and broke the eye connection feeling uncomfortable.

''Good, good. Now Sirius i heard you had something you wanted to speak with me about before we hold the meeting?''

''Letters has been disappearing during the summer, neither me or remus nor Harry has been able to communicate during his stay at Dursleys and we would like to know why.'' Sirius said sternly.

''Oh my! Maybe it is the death eaters!'' Mrs. Weasley complied in concern.

''Not likely, if it were them they more than likely would have already captured Harry.'' Remus answered logically as he sipped his tea.

''But the blood war-'' Mrs. Weasley tried to reason but was cut off.

''-, Only keeps you- know- who from entering, not the death eaters, and i haven't received any knowledge about the boys whereabouts from them so it simply isn't the dark lords doing.'' Severus answered feeling fed up with the woman, like usual.

''Thank you, Severus for summing that up, now no need to fret my dear all will be explained.'' Dumbledore said, gaining all the attention.

''Seeing that the dark lord has gained more power during last year i felt that it would be in Harrys best interest to stay unknowing, and there for not to be in contact with the magical society, which includes..friends.'' Dumbledore explained.

Severus noticed Harrys silence and found him hiding his expression under his bangs, making him unnoticeable for now.

''You did what?! Without informing any of us?!'' Remus yelled while slamming his fists into the table.

''You had no right to do this!'' Sirius complied right after Remus, equalling his anger.

''I did what i thought best for the boy, surly you wouldn't want to risk end-'' Dumbledore was cut of when Harry finally himself stood up and knocked his chair down.

''..could you please, for the love of merlin just shut. the. fuck. up.'' Harry snarled in anger, all eyes turned towards Harry in shock at the language used while speaking to the headmaster.

''I've always done what you've asked of me, always felt guilty for all the times i've tried standing up for myself, and for what? To be held in the dark while expected to defeat a wizard with far more knowledge than i could ever gain, for time after time being manipulated to sacrifice myself for the greater good, to be forced to only you to rely on and always be disappointed?,'' Harry finally met the headmaster eyes at the end.

The atmosphere where tense and held Sirius, Remus and Severus intrigued for Harry to keep going while the headmaster wanted him to sit down and be quiet.

''Harry, you know i've only done everything i can to keep you saf-'' He was once more cut of by the now hysterical teen.

''Don't you dare! Don't you dare say it was to keep me safe! I was never safe! I only listened to you 'cause i didn't want to endanger someone else but clearly they would have been far more safe not listening to you!'' Harry now lectured the headmaster and he frightened himself a bit with the anger he felt.

Dumbledore now stood up himself and glared toward the teen. This was not going according to plan.. he shouldn't be this independent..

''Harry? what do you mean..'' Sirius softly asked in a quiet voice not daring himself to ask louder, he was now worried and concerned as he watched his godson on the brim of tears conversing with the headmaster.

''He doesn't mean anything! He is just confused right Harry? now why don't just sit down boy?'' Dumbledore asked the question in such a way that he had only heard his uncle ask and stumbled backwards to obey but righted himself and now fully glared towards the headmaster.

''You knew all this time?'' Harry asked as his huge emerald orbs showed betrayal, anger, sadness, confusion and a lot of other emotions.

Dumbledore didn't answer but by the silence Harry had received the answer was crystal clear..

He knew.

A/N: Thank you for reading and i'll be sure to update the story shortly. Now it may take a week, a month.. a year? But know this, i will always return.

I've been planning to update the story once a week more or less but it all depends on my spare time since i'm currently going though my last year of high school battling both sickness while trying to graduate.

If you have any thoughts, questions or concerns feel free to contact me by either leaving a review or by sending a PM.

-, See you next time gorgeous ~