ANA

I don't even switch the lights on in my apartment when I get home, I just go straight in to my bedroom and lie down on the bed. I stare at the ceiling, but I'm not crying. I did enough of that at my parents' house. It was the least dignified I could have been.

Yes, I told them and bought him to meet them, Yes, it went horribly. It's hardly shocking.

The moment Christian and I left I thought of a million things I wanted to go back in to that house and say, about how Christian was a better person than any of the other men I'd dated who they valued so highly just because they had money, how at least if we had a child we'd take the time to raise it ourselves instead of pawning it off on a nanny for its entire childhood like they did, how if I married Christian at least I wouldn't hate my husband and I might stand a chance of being happy, but I didn't. For one thing my mother didn't let me. Every time I opened my mouth she just started screaming again, and even if she hadn't I don't think I would have had the courage to say anything.

"Don't let her get to you, sweetheart." Christian says. He doesn't switch the light on either, he just comes and lies beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. No matter what she says, she's still my mother, and I still wish she could support my decisions rather than incessantly judging me and belittling them. And she was so awful to you…"

"We knew she would be. It doesn't faze me. I just don't understand how you could be related to someone like that." Nothing I told him could have prepared him for that. A solid ten minutes was spent just screaming at him for corrupting me and filling my head with ideas that I could date who I want, that it was my decision. It was almost laughable. When it looked like she wasn't going to stop, we just looked at each other, stood up and walked out. I know she's too proud to chase after the car screaming so we were able to make a speedy getaway without having to deal with her for any longer.

"Neither do I sometimes."

"Your father wasn't much help either."

I kept expecting him to jump in on my side, surely after everything he said after I left Robert and while we were in Aspen he would, but he just sat there drinking and looking like the whole thing was irritating him. I felt like saying that it would be over a lot sooner if he jumped in on my side, but I didn't.

"I should have said something to him… To both of them. While I still had the chance. I'm such a fucking mouse. I hate it."

"Honestly, seeing you with them, I'm surprised you're as open as you are. Clearly you've been brought up to suppress any emotion that might overpower the perfect image they've tried so hard to create for you. You easily could have turned out exactly like your mother, and I don't think we'd be having this conversation if that was the case."

"I think I'd dislike myself even more than you'd dislike me." I can't imagine being like Kate, being so obsessed with living like that in that immaculate, miserable lifestyle. No, I would rather never speak to my family again and be happy with Christian than leave him to please them and go back to that shell of a woman I was before I met him. I'm barely more than that now, but I've made enough of an improvement that I never want to go back.

"Do you want some tea, sweetheart?" Christian offers me after a while. I smile and sit up, wiping the tears from under my eyes.

"You know how to make everything better."

Deciding that moping around for the rest of the evening is stupid given how inevitable what I'm upset about was, and that if I did anyway it would be a waste of a perfectly salvageable evening with my amazing boyfriend, I get up from the bed and walk out to the kitchen and put my arms around him from behind.

"Thank you for not getting scared off by all that." I say quietly before letting him go. He turns and smiles at me, taking both my hands in his.

"It's going to take a lot more than that."

We take our drinks in to the front room and stick a movie on in the background, not focussing on it in favour of starting talking about Sam instead. I really don't want to talk about what just happens, and I get the sense that he doesn't either. I'm happy to leave it alone.

I get up to answer the door when we're interrupted by a knock. I expect Mia looking for Christian, Kate with some disaster though she usually calls first, or my neighbour asking if I can look after her cat again, but instead I see the tall, imposing figure of my father standing in the doorway, looking solemn.

"Hello." I say, suddenly a lump forming in my throat. He smiles faintly, which makes him look no friendlier. "Come in." I offer, not knowing what else to do. As soon as he sees him Christian stands up for no reason and flashes me a worried look. I just shrug my shoulders and shut the door behind him, watching as he walks slowly in to my front room, examining his surroundings and looking unimpressed by what he finds.

"I haven't been here before, have I?" he asks me. I shake my head.

"No, I don't think so. You've waited outside for Mom." He nods and picks up a family picture of the three of us, looking nostalgic for a millisecond before he puts it back down with a thud that seems to echo in the silence. "Why are you here? Did she send you? Is she outside?"

"Your mother isn't here, nor does she know I am. I'd prefer it stay that way, Annie." I simply nod. I play awkwardly with a strand of hair. None of us makes a move to sit down.

"Why are you here?" I ask again, voice slightly more confident this time. I know Christian's looking at me, but I keep my eyes fixed on my father. I have to concentrate on not being weak. Him being here is giving me an excuse to finally say my peace to at least one of my parents, I just have to have the guts to go through with it. "Christian, could you give us a minute or two?" He looks at me, possibly gaging whether I'll be okay on my own, eventually deciding it's probably better if he leaves since this is my issue, not his. He nods and walks out my front door. He's too nice to listen at the door. He's probably going to the late night store to get us something strong and alcoholic that tastes like paint stripper.

I failed once tonight, and I refuse to fail again.

"Carla was wrong for saying what she did."

"You mean she was wrong to scream that my boyfriend was a good for nothing, penniless piece of trash and all the other stuff she was yelling about? Yeah, I kind of worked that one out on my own." I snap bitterly. "You could have said something to her at the time rather than just sitting there."

"Of course I couldn't, Anastasia, don't be ridiculous."

"Me ridiculous?" I'm fighting the urge to laugh. "I'm not the one who thinks that if you don't have a private plane you aren't worth the time of day, nor am I the one who sat by while she threatened to cut me off and never see or speak to me again just because I'm dating a guy she doesn't fully approve of. That's what's ridiculous here, not me. The pair of you are completely unbelievable. I though you at least were on my side." That's what you told me, you promised you just wanted me to be happy, and look where we are now. My father might be an imposing man in theory, but in reality he's just as scared of what my mother might do to him as I am, and is possibly even less willing to challenge her.

"I am on your side, Annie." Hell no, reverting back to the childhood nickname isn't going to help. In fact, I let that fuel me on even further. It's not like he was around to call me that frequently when I was little. He ignored me as much as he could, just like she did until I was old enough to parade around and be quiet.

"No, you aren't. If you were you wouldn't need to be here, you'd have defenced me as soon as she started, defended Christian before she screamed at him too, and you'd probably be at home fighting with Mom, telling her that I'm old enough to make my own decisions and it is not her choice who I see. You know I'm not like her; I can't forsake everything that makes me happy just to marry someone she likes who might make me miserable, but at least they can buy me twenty pounds of diamonds without it making too much of a significant dent in their bank account."

"Annie, you know how difficult she is, it was better just to leave it. It was what was best for you."

"No, it definitely wasn't! Nothing either of you has ever done has been what's best for me, and if you took your heads out of your asses and looked at me as something more than an accessory to your perfect little life then you might have seen that back when it actually mattered instead of now where I've learnt to cope on my own and don't need either of you anyway. You make this big show of being so different to Mom, of caring about me, but you're both the same."

"That's not true. I do care if you're happy."

"Then act like it! Try vocally being on my side for once, because honestly, right now if you and Mom cut me off and never see me again, I won't we sorry about it. If anything I'll be glad to get rid of you, and I hate feeling like that. You're my parents, I need one of you to be supportive and I need to feel like I'd miss you if you weren't around, because I don't and I hate that." I don't even know if I'm making sense any more, I'm too close to crying again to care, and I really don't want to cry again.

"Okay."

"What?"

"I said okay, Annie. I'll go home, tell her that if she wants to cut you off then she's got another thing coming. You're my daughter, she's not going to threaten you like that just because you're happy, and next time you come to us to share something like this I won't stand by and do nothing if she reacts like that. I'm sorry. I know I'm hardly a model father, but I am trying to be better." I suddenly find myself hugging him for the first time since I was a very young child. He's taken aback momentarily and it takes a minute to get used to it but we both relax after a while.

"I'm not asking for anything else." I say when I let go of him. He nods understandingly. "All I ever wanted was one of you to support me. Not when I do stupid things, that's different, but when I do something like picking a boyfriend based on how happy he makes me rather than how full his bank account is, I don't want to be screamed at and have to leave my old home, worrying that now he knows where I come from he might never want to see me again.

"I know. I really am sorry, Annie. He seems fine though."

"Yes, because he's amazing and luckily knows me well enough to realise I'm nothing like either of you."

"Trust me, nobody is more thankful of that fact than I am. But like I said, I'm trying. I just don't really know how to go about being a more involved parent."

"Well, you could start by coming to dinner with me sometime this week, catching up with me and listening to me and acting like you're interested even when you aren't really. We made a good job of doing that in Aspen; it's a transferable skill really, not just for on vacation."

"Sounds good. Are you free tomorrow?"

"No, I promised Christian I'd take him out to reward him for meeting Mom, but I am free the night after. Pick me up at seven?"

"Perfect."

He leaves not long after, and as I sit on the sofa I know I'm not done. I might have had it out with him, but that's like in a videogame where you have to go through the easy levels before you can complete the game. Mom is basically the giant boss at the end that it takes three months and periodic bouts of totally giving up to defeat. I will do it though. I'm a nice enough person, but I refuse to be trampled over her anymore just because we're related.

It's just a shame it took her screaming at Christian for me to see that, but better late than never I guess.

He comes back a little while later, bag full of ice cream instead of the alcohol I assumed he'd bring.

"Seems to work in the movies." he says with a shrug, and I grin at him.

No, I'm definitely not getting rid of him to keep her happy, but I knew that before tonight.