7 Months Earlier

Clink

I awake in my cell far too early. There isn't even a hint of daylight poking through the barred window. Six months spent in prison and I still haven't been able to break my habit of sleeping lightly. Probably just Simone getting comfortable again. The warden could at least offer a compatibility questionnaire before assigning you a bunkmate. It's a wonder I can even manage to sleep anymore after waking up to the sounds of Simone's happy time once. Degenerates. Every damn beast in this facility. Except for one of us of course.

Clink, Thud

I sit up and look around. Ok, that definitely came from outside the cell. Years of lock picking experience will give you very sharp hearing, and years of thieving will make you trust your intuition. Something is going on right now that does not follow their standard protocol. I soundlessly jump down off of my top bunk. And make my way to the cell door. Solid steel, with a one by one half foot sliding hatch at head height that offers a small view of the door across from me when opened.

I can't tell the exact time, but there're only two patrols that go by each night. And it's both too early and too late for either of them. I strain my hearing as much as I can, and barely catch the sound of light footsteps making their way closer. Those are not a guard's footsteps. Far too quiet and considerate. Unless one of the guards is sneaking around for a midnight tryst with Spumoni the next block over. Gross, why did I have to think that? The sound of footsteps stops right in front of me to be replaced by the glorious sound of shifting tumblers.

Too late to sneak back into my bunk now. The door slides open, and I flinch like a coward. Then I look down. There stands a tiny adorable creature in a white coat, brown pants, holding a pink parasol, and featuring a variety of hair colors. She looks up at me. Hmm, and a variety of eye colors as well.

"Ok..." I quietly remark.

Unfortunately these heavy door aren't the most discrete contraptions, and the noise had woken Simone up.

"Ugh, Torchwick I swear," Simone grumbles as he moves to sit up. "If you can't get to sleep on your own, I'm gonna tuck you in myself. You won't like it."

Before I can give my witty response, my colorful new acquaintance bounds over to Simone and turning the jump into a pirouette pummels him across the head with her umbrella, all under ten decibels. He's not waking up again tonight.

"Ok..." I arch a brow. Color me impressed.

She finishes spinning around to face me again and lifts one corner of her mouth in a devilish smirk. She strolls up to me and grabs my sleeve leading me out of the cell and then out of the prison.

Present Day

I'm awoken from my reminiscing by a not so gentle bonk on the head from a familiar parasol. I glare up from my slumped position at our apartment's desk.

"Neo, why must you bring such violence into our relationship? You know, I do have connections with the police," I threaten.

I feel a soft, ticklish pressure on the crown of my head where I was struck, and I tense up. Did she just? Of all the crazy things I've been through in my life, that would be the one to shut me up. I feel a slight heat creeping up my neck. Then a pair of hands pulls me from my seat and shoves me into the bedroom to change. I look back at Neo's light smile through the open door, then quickly shut it and turn to my closet to get ready. It's only one day until we're shipped off to Mountain Glenn, and any time spent away from HQ is wasted time.

Never mind, it's a waste of time anyway. So many inventory checks to make, so much cargo to arrange, so many peons to organize, and if you even stop to blink, something goes missing.

"One crate holding 20 canisters, each containing roughly 3 pounds of top grade yellow dust crystals, valued at roughly 2,000 lien per pound is gone. For those of you who struggle to tie your shoes in the morning let me inform you, that's 120,000 lien of dust, and I need to know where it went." I yell at the line up of indescribably detestable specimens.

"I don't need to take this from a lowly human," complains a tusked faunus with green hair as he turns to leave. I can't believe these kids.

"Oho, the savior of all faunus kind, Overbite the Conqueror has spoken. Here why don't you come over and elaborate on that insightful argument?"

I flip Melodic Cudgel in my grip and fire off the hooked end. A direct hit. Considering that the White Fang is essentially an active militia, you would think that their agents would have slightly better reflexes. The gas powered nylon reels my misguided underling back within my reach by his shirt collar. I hold his neck in place on the ground with my cane. I don't want him scampering off before the conversation is finished.

"Funny thing though. Your bosses saw fit to put me in charge. Not you. Isn't that crazy? And when things go missing in my operation, well it just puts a real damper on my day. Now," I look up to address my audience again, "who-" and someone interrupts me with a tap on the shoulder.

"Dammit, I'm trying to speak here!" I turn around to deal with my newest pest. "What is-" Neo? "-what? Neo, can you tell me whatever it is later. You know I love to listen to you, but I'm a bit busy right now," I discretely hiss.

Her eyes meet mine and narrow just slightly, before she steps around me. I turn and watch as she moves in front of me, and looks down the line-up.

"No, please. You don't need my permission, go right ahead," I graciously offer, as I step aside.

What does she think she's doing? Neo saunters up to a tall, but fairly weedy looking faunus, with a reptilian tail snaking out of his pants. I take my foot off of beaver boy's neck and follow. She scrunches her face up a little at him, then with no other warning than a small smirk she knees him right in the happy place.

"AAGH!" Down goes Mr. Slither. I can't help wincing a little. Neo rolls him onto his back with her foot, and unsheathes the blade of Stiletto Moon. Neo motions me over, then snatches my collar and pulls my ear to her mouth.

"..."

I can feel her warm breath on my ear for a brief moment before she pushes me away. I look back down into her eyes (pink and white right now). She jerks her head at her reptilian captive. Oh.

"So my associate has just informed me that, hey!" I kick him hard in the side. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." The younger generation just has no respect. Slither groans a little, but looks up. "As I was saying, my associate has just informed me that the missing dust found it's way into your slimy pockets. Now I'm sure you need to buy some new heat lamps for your terrarium or you're running low on lotion for the upcoming shedding season, but that dust just doesn't belong to you, operative. Also as much as I, and I can't emphasize this enough, hate when something goes missing in my operation, the White Fang likes it even less. Now why don't you just let me know where that crate is?"

Mr. Slither's shaking like a dead leaf about to fall. He's either going to confess or piss his pants. Maybe both.

"Listen buddy," I crouch down to get just a bit better eye contact. "You can tell us where the dust is and face the consequences, or Neo here will hurt you a lot. Then you'll still tell us where the dust is and face the consequences, only with a few less body parts for our trouble."

He looks up at Neo and his skin pales to sickly yellow white. God, I'm curious what look she gave him.

"I-I-I..."

"Shh, shh, shh. You don't have to talk. Just take us to it," I reassure him. For some reason he still looks scared.

Slither nods and moves to get up. I do too, and glance back over the rest of the agents still in line.

"Thank you everyone for your cooperation. Yes, I know this relocation is stressing us all out. Why don't you all take a short break. And to you my toothy comrade," The green haired toothy faunus stops massaging his neck for a moment and looks over. "It's very regrettable that you had to get hurt. I hope lessons were learned and we can both move on."

I turn back to my diabolically intelligent companion, and her much taller hostage. She gives me a small but proud smile and turns to the door of the warehouse pushing Slither along in front of her. I adjust my bowler and move to follow.

How? Was it staged? Does Neo know that animal? Is this another one of Cinder extremely unnecessarily complex schemes to trick me into thinking Neo is the greatest detective on Remnant for the purpose of god knows what?! How did Neo know that snake had the dust?

I look over from my seat on one of the many ammunition crates in the back left corner of the warehouse. Neo sits five feet to my left silently observing the final preparations with me. A crash sounds from across the room. Those idiots just never stop. Neo doesn't even react. She simply continues to sit with her legs pulled against her chest on a small fraction of uncovered crate surface.

"For most people I'd say that pose looks uncomfortable, but with your 'ahem' conservative stature it looks like it suits you just fine," I acknowledge.

"..." Neo doesn't react.

"In fact, it's a crime against humanity that more people don't share your aptitude for spatial efficiency. I can only imagine the money to be saved on building materials and fuel costs," I compliment.

"..." Nothin'. Hmm.

"You know, there are a couple other natural attributes of yours people should also be jealous of," I divulge. "Why, no one can even tease you about your small height considering your large... talents."

Neo's head twitches just a little, and I catch the corner of her eyes with mine. I smile. It's so nice to know when your compliments are well received. Then I feel a tap on my right shoulder. As I'm turning my head I see a faint shimmer, like the gleam of jewelry taken right off some unsuspecting sap's neck, slide across Neo's face. Then a vicious pain hits me from the right, and I slide to the ground.

The Neo I was looking at shatters, and the real Neo leans down in front of me. Smirking Neo holds Stiletto Moon down at her knees, offering me a provocative view on where I might've misspoken.

"Neo c'mon, that was just a joke."

Both of her eyes turn pink and she gives me the sweetest strawberry smile I've seen before connecting her boot with my shin. Then I watch as she turns and strolls away with a certain melodic sway in her steps. Back and forth, back and forth. Damn, what she's doing with those hips has to be illegal. They should lock her up for that. And then someone'll have to go and bust her out. And then we'll have to spend days on the run hiding together in cold cramped spaces. No Cinder or White Fang to run to this time. Just two hardened criminals out on the streets, the entire force giving chase, and nothing but their raw cunning to protect them.

"Ahem. Would you like a hand sir?" I look up into the face of a bespectacled faunus.

"Perry, didn't I tell you to supervise the loading of trucks A-F?"

"Sir, we've been done with that for ten minutes now," Perry informs me.

"And here I expected that to take at least two hours. I'm telling you Perry. If more faunus were like you, people might actually not look at them as the worthless garbage of society," I praise.

"Uh, thanks sir," he offers a hand and frowns.

"Not at all," I accept his help up. "I'd wager you'll make a fine trash collector or delivery man some day." I smile at him.

"Uh huh," Perry mumbles and walks away.

Oh, it is the little things in life.

"And Perry," I call after him. "Trucks G-K are scheduled to arrive in a few moments. Why don't you handle those as well?"

"Uh, of course sir," Perry calls back his head sinking a little.

"Very good, carry on."

I reach down to light a cigar. Ow, why does my shin hurt so much?

The rest of the day is spent loading the last of the trucks to be sent out tomorrow. I look over the inventory lists for the last time tonight. All dust accounted for. I doubted another incident would occur so soon after the last one. I still need to ask Neo. No, if I thought she'd give me a real answer I would. The food and weapons are now loaded up. Cinder's special scrap heap is packed and secure. The ship comes into port at 6 a.m. tomorrow. If Neo and I leave now we can still get in one last night of sleep in our apartment.

I put the papers down and leave my office to go find my companion. Hmm, come to think of it. What does Neo actually do when she's not assisting me? Cinder has so politely requested that we not start any illegal enterprises of our own while in her employ. Neo and I graciously agreed to her terms, so it's doubtful she's doing anything outside of the base, at least not without including me.

I give a quick glance over the main storage room. A few guards are posted, but most agents are in their quarters by now. Those who still have civilian lives have probably gone home. Not a dash of pink in sight. Maybe she already left. Tch, and here I thought she was my assigned body guard. You can't trust even those closest to you. I feel a strong poke in the center of my back.

"Neo," I turn to see an enigmatic smirk. "How is it that we didn't meet sooner in life? With your knack for stealth I'm sure I could have even Lord Schnee's fortune at my finger tips. I'd even share a few Lien with you."

Neo rolls her eyes and lightly flips the hair over the right side of my face.

"Do not start on my eyesight. You know I already get enough of that from queen toasty bitche- I mean queen toasty britches," I groan.

Neo's eyes squint and her shoulders shake a bit. I thought it was supposed to be the most wonderful sound in the world, a pretty girl's laugh. Like wind chimes or icicles tinkling in the winter wind, or some other shit. So how does she make it look so good without a single sound? Take notes Cinder, your dulcet tones got nothing on Neo. In fact everyone take notes, this girl knows things.

"..." Neo shoves me and I stumble towards the door. Right.

"C'mon Neo. We don't want to waste any more time hanging around this pig pen than we have to. Let's go."

We stop briefly at Henry's on the way home to grab a large carton. It's probably the last bit of sugary crack Neo will get her hands on for a while. Might as well indulge. I doubt I'll be seeing any new cigar shops in Mountain Glenn either.

"Neo, have I mentioned how much I hate the countryside?"

"..."

"Yeah, I know. All part of the Cinder master plan. After all who would think to put two high class thieves, masters of the urban environment, in charge of an operation out in the sticks?"

"..." Neo gives me a practiced sarcastic smirk.

"Exactly, they'll never see it coming," I proclaim.

We return to our apartment and Neo immediately sits down with her precious treat. I expect no less from a fellow addict. I put our hats, jackets, and weapons away in the closet before joining her at the table. She finishes off about half the carton in the first ten minutes.

"Neo, by now I have of course realized that you do not get brain freezes. I'll admit I'm impressed, both by your stoic brain and by the fact that such a talent even exists. I don't think anyone else could find a use for that, however there is something that puzzles me."

Neo peeks up for a scant second, before turning back to her carton.

"I have seen you ingest large quantities of cream and sugar, and you never gain a single pound. Crazy right? Where does all of that food go?" I politely inquire. "Now I have my theories about where on your body the cream and fat might've gone, but the sugar still perplexes me."

Neo stops with her next spoonful almost to her mouth, then flicks it right onto my forehead. I'm shocked for a split second. She's a true psychopath.

"Flinging food?" I gasp. "You're lucky my bowler is already put away. I almost had to kill you."

Neo smirks at that.

"Yes of course, not if you kill me first. Neo, you're so cliché sometimes. Now hand me a napkin for this."

She grabs a napkin, but stops right as she's about to hand it over. Hmm? She walks around the table to wipe off the ice cream herself.

"Ok..."

I can feel a little heat on my face as she wipes off the cold dessert. When there's only a drop left she takes the napkin away and leans down slightly. I feel a soft wet sensation move up the length of the remaining drop. The heat on my face explodes into one of Cinder's infernos. Her tongue was only there for the second, but all of my muscles become tight as a Schnee's finances. I slowly stand and look down at the girl. Both of her eyes are a shining white, and her cheeks have a bright pink flair same as mine I'm sure.

I place my right hand under her chin and lean down. I can smell the divine scent of sugary death on her breath and feel the hot air on my lips. Then there's contact. Soft, warm, and sticky in the best way I can imagine. I wrap my other arm around her waist and press harder into her lips. I can feel her breath catch, and then her arms tighten our embrace further. I can't even think for a moment as her body presses fully into mine. The only sensation in the world is heat, and the sound of our breath coming out faster and heavier.

Then there's a rush of pleasure. All of the hard muscle of a skilled fighter and softness of an ice cream junkie is rubbing into my chest and abdomen and between my thighs. Some of the stickiness on my lips is replaced by wetness and I open my mouth as Neo deepens the kiss. There's no reason or method to how we move our tongues, but it doesn't matter as long as I can feel more of her mouth. After as long as we can hold out, there just isn't enough air to continue, and we separate.

We both stand there still together gasping for oxygen and staring into each others' eyes. Back to pink and brown.

"You know Neo. I really have to crank my neck to kiss you all the way down there. We should get a stool for next time."

She smiles wider into the most beautiful look I've ever seen on a woman's face with the sexiest blush of pink that can exist. Then she stomps like a pile-driver onto my foot.

"Ahh!"

I lean down to grab at my foot, but Neo meets me there with her lips. Damn, this girl is fantastic. The pain in my foot melts into the sensation of the kiss. It's brief, but just as sweet. We part again and Neo now steps out of the embrace. Her smile sinks into a smirk, and she saunters off towards the bedroom with a criminal sway in her hips.

God damn. I move to follow, but stop and look back for a second. Hmm. I can feel a smirk tugging at the corners of my own lips. I grab the carton of ice cream then accompany my devil to her dungeon.

AN: Well, that chapter was all over the place. Somebody stop me, I love Torchwick too much. I was pretty happy with that ending. I felt a bit like an asshole while writing it, so it fits with the Torchwick theme. And Neo you and Roman are simply perfect for each other.

Please drop a review. Give me some feedback on what you think,

And thanks for reading!