The Past Revisited

Tara came home from work just like any other day but for some reason this day seemed different to her. Was it the fact that she helped save a newborn baby's life or was it something else? She couldn't put her finger on just what it was. She had been working at Chicago Presbyterian Hospital as a neonatal specialist ever since she graduated medical school. Thinking back to the past she could recount every detail as to why she ended up in Chicago instead of at the hospital in Charming where she grew up.

Her father was a fall down drunk that was very belligerent and abusive to her ever since her Mom died when she was young. She made it through her high school years with the help of local bad boy Jackson "Jax" Teller. They had a whirlwind romance but when he became a prospect for the Sons of Anarchy everything in him changed. He became distant and more violent as the days passed and she didn't know what to expect from him on a daily basis. All her life she knew that she wanted to be a doctor and once he blew off her birthday for a "run" for the club she decided that she was no longer going to be his old lady. She had to get away quickly before he could talk her out of it. She contacted her cousin in San Diego and made arrangements to move in with them while she attended college. When everything was set she made her escape one night while the club was attending to another problem in Stockton.

God what was wrong with me Tara thought? She hadn't even thought of Charming or Jax in years. She had been gone for 10 years now. She got her answer when she checked her mailbox. There was an envelope with the return address of her high school in Charming. There was a 10 year class reunion and this was her invitation. Did she really want to return to her past even for one night?

Jax Teller was the prince of Charming. His father had started the local Motorcycle club The Sons of Anarchy and Jax was slated to take over the head of the table once his step-father Clay Morrow was unable to ride anymore. Jax learned years ago to use this legacy to his advantage with women. His rugged good looks helped quite a bit as well. He'd been with his fair share of women through the years but now he was married to Wendy Case and she was pregnant with his son. Things were pretty rocky between them but he vowed to make the best of it for his son. He had been working at the garage all day and the club had nothing going on that night so he went home immediately after he punched out for the day. Once he got home he realized Wendy wasn't home. She was probably over at Gemma's. He went into the kitchen and immediately saw it. Intertwined with all the bills on the table was an invitation to the 10 year class reunion with a note from Wendy saying that it had arrived today and that they should go.

Jax didn't know if he wanted to go, he wasn't really a part of the graduating class. In fact the only reason he graduated at all was because of Tara. She had helped him with his studies and made sure that he was in school everyday. Hell at the time he would do anything for her and part of the reason he went everyday was to be with her. Once they graduated it was different. He had become a prospect with the club and was at their beck and call night and day. Tara's birthday was right after graduation and he had a big night planned but duty called and he had to be off with the club all night. When he returned home the next morning he knew she was mad but she wouldn't talk about it. She wouldn't even let him make it up to her. The next week they had another run in Stockton and when he returned home this time Tara was gone. He had no idea where she had gone and was worried until he found the note. All it said was "I had to go, please don't look for me". That had nearly destroyed him until he met and married Wendy. Just then he thought, if he was getting the invitation so was Tara, would she be there? Would she come back to Charming? He decided he had to go just to find out.

Harry "Opie" Winston and his high school sweetheart turned wife were just sitting down to dinner with the kids when the doorbell rang. They both stared at the door with suspicion. Who could be visiting now? Opie turned to Donna and gave her the unique look that she had become accustomed to seeing whenever someone unexpected was at the door. As a member of The Sons of Anarchy you never knew who was coming to your door at any time of the day. It could be anyone from the club or law enforcement. Donna always worried that Opie would end up in prison again. He had just served a 5 year stint for arson. She was leery of any dealings with the club because of his incarceration.

Opie got up to answer the door with his hand resting on his gun that he kept in the small of his back. He checked the peep hole and removed his hand before he opened the door. Once the door had been opened Donna realized it was Jax and there was no need to worry. Jax and Opie had been best friends since childhood. Jax's dad and Opie's dad; Piney; had founded the club together.

"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner" Jax said more to Donna than to Opie.

"Your fine brother, is something wrong?" Opie asked more because Jax rarely showed up uninvited anymore.

"I just got home and had an invitation to our high school reunion, did you guys get one?" Jax asked. All of them had graduated together so it was a dumb question but he didn't know if the invitation had come to them that day or not.

"I haven't even checked the mail today so I'm not sure." Opie retreated back to the door to check the mail and sure enough there were two invitations. One was addressed to him and the other to Donna although it was addressed to her by her maiden name.

"Yeah we got them" Opie told Jax as he handed Donna hers.

"Are you planning to go?" Jax asked them inquisitively

"Depends on if we can get the old man to watch the kids that night" Donna responded finally joining the conversation.

Opie knew why Jax was planning to go; Tara; and he wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Tara broke his heart when she left and he had never really gotten over her. Jax married Wendy because he was lonely although Jax would never admit to that. Opie vowed that they would attend the reunion just to make sure that Jax behaved if Tara was there.

Here it was the day of the reunion and Tara was a bundle of nerves. She hadn't set foot back in Charming since the day she left and in fact still hadn't. She was staying at a motel in Lodi so that Jax didn't know she was in town. She was secretly hoping that he wouldn't show up tonight. It had taken her a couple days to decide if she was going herself. She finally decided to attend, not to see Jax but to see her other friends that she hadn't spoken to since high school. She bought her plane ticket and reserved her rental car and motel room before she had a chance to change her mind. She had decided to lie about where she was living and working in case Jax tried to look her up. Not that she was afraid of him she was just afraid of her feelings toward him. She was finally doing good in life and didn't need him to complicate things. After hours of agonizing over what to wear and what she would do if Jax was there it was time to leave. She thought about stopping at a bar outside of Charming to get a quick drink just to calm her nerves but decided against it. It was better to deal with all of this sober. It was a long agonizing drive from her hotel to her high school. She wasn't quite sure what she would do or say if she came face to face with Jax. She decided to put that behind her and deal with it when and if the time arrived.

Jax had nearly forgotten about the reunion that night until Wendy came out of the bedroom all dressed up.

"What are you all dressed up for?" He asked looking her over from head to toe. He had never seen her dressed up like this. She had always worn jeans and boots for any other occasions.

"Jackson Teller don't tell me you forgot what tonight is!" She responded a little irritated. He had been busy between work and the club but she was sure he would have remembered.

Jax racked his brain, it wasn't their anniversary was it? No that was in March. Was it her birthday? No that was a couple months away yet. Then it dawned on him…..the reunion.

"No I didn't forget I was just messing around, I will be ready in 10 minutes" he said trying to convince her as well as himself. How could he forget, this was possibly his chance to see Tara for the first time in 10 years. He took a quick shower and threw on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt with his kutte over it.

When he emerged out of the bedroom Wendy was on the phone and from her end of the conversation he could tell that she was talking to Donna.

"Really that is what you're wearing?" Wendy asked when she finally got off the phone. He could tell she wasn't impressed.

"Look babe this is me, this is what I'm comfortable in. If people don't like what I'm wearing oh well. What did Donna want?" He asked more to get off the subject of his chosen attire for the evening.

"Oh they're car is broke down and they don't want to take the bike so she asked if they could ride with us, I told them it was ok"

Finally they were on the road to pick up Opie and Donna. When they got there and the couple emerged from their house he could see Wendy do a mental head slap because Opie was wearing the same kind of outfit that Jax had chosen.

Once they had gotten to the school Opie and Jax looked at each other with the I can't believe we are back here look. They all walked inside, the bikers and their old ladies and were greeted at a table set up right outside the gym by none other than David Hale himself.

"Hello Jax, Hello Opie, Ladies….I trust you will be behaving yourselves tonight." David said more to the guys than the ladies.

David was the Deputy Chief of Police in Charming and was set to take over as Chief once Unser stepped down. He was also a member of their graduating class. Jax and David had butted heads a couple of times over Tara. He would never admit it outright but David had always had a crush on Tara and he was not happy when she started dating Jax.

"Yes we plan to behave tonight unless something comes up and in that case you will be the first to know Chief" Jax said to him

David did not look impressed but handed them their name tags and shooed them into the gym. Jax was able to glance over the tags that remained on the table and noticed that there was not one for Tara. Did that mean she was already there?

Once inside they couldn't believe how packed it was already. It seemed like everyone from their graduating class was there. It was hard to pick out one person from the next. Of course everybody knew who they were and ran up to greet them especially Jax. Wendy was used to women fawning over her husband, it happened everywhere they went. It didn't bother her anymore, not like it had before they got married.

Tara was standing off in a corner talking to a couple people from her AP classes when she noticed a group of people crowding around someone who had just entered. She glanced over there and saw Opie standing outside of the circle and knew that wherever Opie was, Jax wasn't far behind. Opie was looking around like he was looking for somebody so she turned her back to him so he wouldn't recognize her. She had cut her hair off and dyed it blonde a few years earlier so she wasn't easily recognized like she was in high school with her long dark locks. She tried to resist temptation to turn around and look but curiosity got the best of her and when she turned around there he was. He was dressed the way he always did and still took her breath away when she looked at him. Only this time he wasn't alone. He had a very pregnant woman on his arm. She knew she shouldn't but again temptation took over and she found herself walking up to him. When she got close enough she heard the deep intake of breath from Opie and knew that he recognized her.

"Hello Jax" Tara finally said once she got closer.

She could see his posture stiffen when he heard her voice but didn't immediately turn around. He said something to the woman he was with and soon her and Donna were walking away. Opie of course stayed at Jax's side just like the loyal best friend he had always been.

"Tara", all he said was her name but it made her tremble all the way through her body.

"How have you been?" She asked trying to make small talk

"I'm fine, what do you want?" He didn't mean to sound so cold but all the bitterness and anger that had built up for the past 10 years towards her came out all at once.

"I just wanted to say hello and tell you congratulations on the baby" she finally mustered after the shock had absorbed. She couldn't believe he still hated her after all this time.

"Thank you now if you will excuse me I need to get back to my wife" He turned and walked away from her not really understanding why. He had so much he wanted to say to her. He wanted to scream at her, tell her how bad she had hurt him when she left, tell her how much he still loved her but he couldn't. Not here, not now.

Tara watched Jax walk away and couldn't believe that he had been that cold to her. She figured he would still harbor some resentment towards her but didn't expect it to be that bad. She walked back to where she was sitting with her friends and watched them from a distance. Jax seemed so happy with his wife….his wife. That was another thing that surprised her; he was married and had a baby on the way. He had obviously forgotten about her long ago. She vowed to not let what he had said to her or lack there of get to her and that she would enjoy her evening.

Jax was as shocked by the words that came out of his mouth as Tara was. The woman he had loved for a decade now was standing right in front of him and he treated her like yesterdays trash. He had to put up a good front so that nobody knew how much he truly missed her. He had to come up with a way for them to be alone; he had to talk to her. As he sat with his wife and friends all he could think about was a way to escape. Finally he came up with something simple. Hopefully it would work. The only problem was that it involved the club which Opie was also a member of so he had to let him in on his plans. He knew Opie would never rat him out to Wendy.

"Ope lets go get the girls something to drink" Jax finally said hoping that his friend would get the hint

As they walked to the beverage table Opie knew something was up with his best friend and figured there was something more to this impromptu errand.

"What's up brother?" Opie finally asked when they were out of ear shot of their wives

"I need to talk to Tara alone and came up with a plan to get away from Wendy but it would involve the club" Jax told him hoping that he would understand

Opie thought about it for a minute before responding

"I think it's a mistake but I will cover for you." All he could do was state his opinion to Jax, whether or not his friend chose to listen to him was up to him. He knew Jax was going to do what he wanted either way and in this case he wanted to talk to Tara.

Jax pulled out his cell phone making a good show in case Wendy was watching. Opie didn't bother because they would just tell Donna that Clay knew they were together so he saved time by only calling Jax. Now all he had to do was come up with a lie to tell Wendy. He was sure she would call Gemma as soon as he dropped her off so he had to include Clay but it couldn't include the whole club, just him and Opie. Of course Opie wouldn't be going with him but he could hide out at the clubhouse until Jax was done.

They made their way back over to the table to break the news to Wendy and Donna.
"Clay just called and he needs Opie and I to ride over to Oakland and meet with Laroy about club business." Jax told them when they reached the table. He was never one to beat around the bush.

"Seriously Jackson, we can't have one night to ourselves before our son is born?" Wendy was pissed. She didn't get out much because of the pregnancy and she had been looking forward to this night for a couple weeks now.

"It's club business Wendy and as the VP I have to go" Jax gave her the speech a million times about the club so he knew he didn't have to go into it again but he had to sound convincing.

"Why don't we take the boys back to the house to get their bikes and we can come back" Donna piped in. She was enjoying her night out without the kids and didn't want it to end so early either.

Jax and Opie looked at each other because part of the plan was for Jax to come back to the school and wait for Tara to leave and then follow her to her hotel. If Wendy and Donna were also coming back there that could foil his plan.

"We figured you guys were tired and would want to go home" Jax and Opie both said at the same time like it was rehearsed.

"No we are wide awake and enjoying ourselves. Yes Donna that sounds like a plan so if you guys have to go let's go and then we will come back" Wendy said matter of factly. They all left before Jax could argue with her.

Tara saw Jax leaving and knew that she would never get the chance to explain to him why she left so long ago. She really didn't feel up to being social anymore so she said goodbye to her friends and retrieved her purse to leave. She was headed out the door when David Hale stopped her. He hadn't seen her come in and was surprised to see her there. They had grown up right down the road from each other and were best friends up until she met and started dating Jax.

"Tara is that you?" David asked as she walked by

"David?" Tara was surprised to see him although not sure why since he was in her graduating class

"Wow you look amazing, how are you? What are you doing now?" He wanted to know everything about her

"I am good just tired and have a long drive back to the hotel, I am a doctor in Chicago now" she wasn't afraid of telling David the truth. He would never betray her.

"Good for you, I am a police officer here in Charming. I went to the police academy right out of high school and Unser hired me straight from the academy. He is getting ready to retire and I am taking over as chief when he does." Ok so he was bragging a little but he was very proud of his accomplishments.

"Congratulations, looks like we both accomplished our dreams. It really was good seeing you David but as I said I have a long drive back to my hotel and I am really tired." She was trying to escape without having to get into more of a conversation but David wanted to chat and she just wasn't up to that tonight. She just wanted to go back to her hotel and get some sleep before her flight the next morning.

"Ok well it was really good to see you, take care of yourself Knowles" David always called her by her last name ever since they were kids.

Jax had to hurry if he wanted to get back and make sure Tara hadn't left yet. He had spoken to one of her friends and asked her to call him when Tara was leaving. Opie only lived a mile from the school but it seemed like it was taking forever to get there. They were going to take the truck over to Jax's house to get his bike and then head back to the school. That should leave them enough time for the girls to get back there and get back inside. They had finally gotten back to Opie's and into the truck when his phone rang. He didn't recognize the number so it had to be the friend that was watching Tara.

"Hello" Jax answered anxiously

"She's leaving"

"Thanks"

"Change of plans Ope" Jax told him and he knew what that meant. He wasn't hanging out at the clubhouse that night; he was going to be hanging out at whatever hotel Tara was staying at.

They pulled up to the school just as Tara was climbing into her car. Luckily the girls were already back inside so they didn't see the truck pull up.

Jax and Opie followed Tara to her hotel in Lodi. She didn't realize she had been followed until she got to the door of her room.

"Tara?" she whipped around shocked that he was there

"How did you find me?"

"I followed you from the school, can we go inside and talk?" he asked sympathetically

"Where's your wife?" she asked

"She's back at the school with Donna; she doesn't know I'm here." Was she being serious right now? They were standing outside discussing his wife?

"What do you want Jax?" she already knew what he wanted, the same thing she did but she was confused as to why they were doing this here

"I just want to talk to you, is that ok?"

"Yeah come in"

They went inside finally and Opie decided to park the truck around back so that if by any chance they were spotted back at the school that nobody would see the truck there. Just then he thought about the fact that Jax's bike was still at his house. If Wendy got home before them and noticed that his bike was still there she would be suspicious. He thought about it for a few and decided that if the subject came up that they would tell her that because it was a meet and greet they decided to just take the truck instead of their bikes. That was believable right?

Once in the hotel room Tara got really nervous. Why was he here? What did he want to talk about? She was positive it was about why she left and what impact it had on him but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it. She knew when she left that it would leave him devastated but she never thought she would have to face him again. She was actually kind of scared of what he was going to say or do.

"Ok now that we are inside, what do you want to talk about? Tara asked more to calm her own nerves. She didn't want to show him how nervous she was. She had to try to remain calm and collected on the outside.

"You really don't know?" He figured she knew, she had a lot of explaining to do.

"I have an idea but I really don't know what you want me to say. It's been a decade Jax." She was succeeding at controlling her demeanor.

"Yes it has been a decade Tara but that doesn't stop the hurt. Why did you leave the way you did?" He finally decided to just blurt it out. They both knew it was the elephant in the room.

Could she be honest with him? She had to be. She didn't think he would hurt her in any way but she was afraid of what he would say to her when she told him the real reason she left.

"Honestly Jax I wasn't me here in Charming. I knew all my life that I wanted to be a doctor and staying here that vision was drifting further and further away by the minute. All I could see was being your old lady forever. Once you became a prospect you changed, you became more violent and distant and I didn't know what to do. I actually made the decision on my birthday that year. I talked to my cousins in San Diego and that set the ball in motion. Once the plans were set I had to go as soon as possible and I knew I had to do it when you weren't around because if you were I would have never had the strength to leave." That actually calmed her nerves. She finally told him how she felt those last few months.

He was shocked by her revelation. He had no idea that she felt that way before her departure. He knew things were different between them since he started prospecting and even more so after he got called away on club business on her birthday but he didn't think it would come down to her leaving him.

"I'm sorry you felt that way, I really am. I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted or like you couldn't achieve your dreams with me. If I had known you were feeling that way I would have let you go. I never wanted to hold you back not even for a minute. I love you Tara and want the best for you." Wait did he just say that he loves her? Yes he always has.

To be Continued…