Chapter one

It had been just over a month since the car accident involving half the ED's doctors, which resulted in the death of one of the most beloved paramedics the hospital had. Jeff had succeeded in getting all casualties out of the side swiped people carrier, but it unexpectedly went up in flames before he could get out himself. With the passing of Jeff and his funeral just a month ago, things in the ED were finally getting back to normal. All five doctors involved in the accident were back to work. As for Ethan - he was the one who suffered most from the accident both physically and emotionally - he remained in hospital under the care of the nurses for a week after the accident before he was strong enough to leave. Ethan was the driver of the car that was side swiped, the accident caused him a lot of trauma. He was unconscious at the scene and if it wasn't for his brother Cal he wouldn't have survived as his condition deteriorated as he lay in the hospital ED. Ethan was the one who was most taken by the accident, he had always been known to be sensitive by his fellow colleagues but even Cal was shocked by how he reacted. Ethan's way of thinking was: because he was driving that day he felt at fault at the death of Jeff. All in the ED had tried to persuade him out of his trail of thought but nothing anyone could've said would have changed his way of thinking, he was filled with guilt.

Although all doctors had been back at work for a while now, Ethan just over two weeks, all kept wary of Ethan after seeing how affected he was by the accident. Dr. Hardy would come into work, making sure to keep himself busy all day, then leave to go home, turning down all offers to go to the pub after work and only talking to his colleagues in a professional manor if needed. His colleagues had given up trying to get anything out of him at this point, no one bothered trying to involve him in any conversations, the offers to go to the pub had diminished; they already knew the answer so why bother asking? All Ethan would get is the odd sympathetic smile if he made eye contact with someone long enough. He just saw work as work, not somewhere to socialise. Cal kept a watchful eye on his younger brother at all times knowing he couldn't keep up this act for much longer.

"By the looks of things we're gonna need a doctor on site" Dixie spoke to Charlie, both looked towards Cal looking for a volunteer. Just as Cal opened his mouth to put himself forward for the part Ethan stepped up "I'll go" all looked towards him stunned, this was the most he'd spoken to any of his colleagues since he came back.

"I was beginning to forget what your voice sounded like" Max joked with a cheeky grin, Ethan pushed up his glasses forcing a slight smile.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Charlie whispered edging closer to Ethan, "Yes. I just want things to go back to they way they were, before-" he stopped himself there bearing in mind Dixie (Jeff's wife) was standing before him.

"Ethan love, are you sure you want to do this?" Dixie asked concerned "positive." Ethan urged. "You do know we're heading to the scene of a vehicle collision?" Dixie informed. Ethan hesitated for a moment, the memories of the crash flashed through his mind, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Well, I do now" he tried to joke awkwardly with a smile, no one seemed amused "I'll be fine" he confidently reassured all the watching crowd.

"Okay then" Dixie nodded "meet me in the station when you're ready" she added turning and heading for the ambulance station. Ethan looked around at the both sympathetic and concerned watchful eyes of his colleagues before coming across those of his brother's. Cal began to walk over to his younger brother "are you sure you're ready for this?" Cal asked coming level to his brothers eyes. "As I'll ever be" Ethan replied convincingly as he brushed passed Caleb.

He walked into the staff room and closed the door behind him making sure he was out of sight of all the watching eyes. Leaning back against the door he closed his eyes and took in some deep breaths, "come on" he took in a deep breath "you can do this" he whispered to himself his voice trembling as he spoke. He was snapped out of his thoughts as a light knock tapped on the door he was leaning on. Ethan turned around looking though the window, he saw Charlie waiting eagerly to enter, he pulled open the door and stepped back allowing Charlie to walk in.

"Ethan.." Charlie sighed, Ethan leaned back against the wall awaiting Charlie's lecture. "Listen I know you want things to go back to normal but you don't have to act a hero" Ethan scoffed sarcastically looking toward the ground, he was no hero.

"If this will be too much for you say so now, because we can't be having you-" "Charlie.." Ethan started cutting him off. "I'm fine. I can see why you're all concerned" he looked back over his shoulder out of the staff door window seeing his colleagues swiftly turning away so it looked like they weren't looking in. The only person who kept his stare was Cal, who had concern etched on his face. "But I'm not stupid. If I thought I wasn't up for the job I wouldn't go, not for my sake but for the sake of the casualties" he explained turning back to meet Charlie's gaze "me not being fully focused would mean putting people's lives in danger and that's not in my job description" Charlie sighed with relief "that's all I wanted to know" he smiled "I never had any doubt in you, you're the best the ED has to offer" he praised, Ethan smiled at the ground awkwardly. "Now go get ready Dixie's waiting" Ethan nodded shyly and walked to get changed.

Dixie sat in the Ambulance awaiting Dr. Hardy. She looked around reminiscing the memories she had with her husband and best friend Jeff in this very vehicle. She smiled as she held a tight grip of the steering wheel. She was suddenly brought out of her soothing thoughts when the passenger door opened and Ethan climbed in. He strapped himself in and let out a sigh "are we ready?" Dixie asked, Ethan hesitated for a moment before nodding his head. Dixie started the ambulance and drove out of the station heading for the scene of the crash.

Once they reached the crash scene Ethan was taken back by the sight. Memories flashed through his mind, he closed his eyes and gripped onto the sides of his seat. "Ethan?" Dixie spoke softly, placing her hand on his shoulder "are you sure you're okay to do this?" He nodded, still with his eyes closed, his breathing was deep "Ethan darling, look at me" she ordered. She placed her hand on his chin and gently turned his head to face her. He opened his eyes that were filling up with tears, Dixie repeated herself again "are you sure you're okay to do this?" She spoke firmly. He took a deep breath and fought back his tears "yes." He answered in determination, he then turned and stepped out of the ambulance shutting the door behind him, leaving Dixie inside without a second thought.

First chapter of my first casualty fic, I'm really look forward to continuing this. I will try to update as often as I can, I already have a few chapters written which I will publish soon. This will be more like an "ongoing story" which I could carry on for as long as you guys want as I've got lots of ideas ready to write. I really would love to know what you think and if you have any tips/ideas, thanks happy reading! Kayxxx :)