A/N: This is set after Kate was shot and before she returned to work. Had this idea after watching Rise last night. I don't know if this would be consider AU as I am going to follow the events of the show I am just adding things in between her shooting and return to work we never saw. Also I am going to be writing Kate through some stages of her PTSD so if you think she is out of character she is not, I have dealt with PTSD personally before and I know how it affects people.

The view she woke up to this morning was not that of what she was use to seeing this time of day. The world outside was not like it was in the city. It was quite, dead quite. Maybe dead was the wrong choice of words she thought to herself. She stood on the front porch of the cabin and looked out over the lake. It was nice here, it really was peaceful, and given any other situation Kate would love being here. Growing up this was one of her favorite places in the world to be; she loved coming here to her father's cabin with him and her mother for Thanksgiving Holidays and random family camping trips. But after her mother… this place turned in to something else entirely. It turned into an escape. Her father used it back then to escape the tragedy that surrounded the lose of his wife, and now…now she was using it as an escape from the things she couldn't face.

Kate grabbed her coffee cup off the railing of the porch. She turned one more time to take in the view of the sun just starting to rise over the lake. She had to get herself together, she had to get stronger. The only problem with this was she didn't know how. How was she supposed be strong when she was weak? How was she supposed to be ok when everything around her terrified her? Every time she heard a sudden noise she felt her heart stop and the burn of the scar that she was now carrying reminded her why. The birds, the shot of a hunter's gun, the closing of car door, simple things like this were more then she could handle right now.

Kate re-entered the cabin and placed her coffee mug in the sink. Her head hurt, everything hurt if she was being honest with herself. She wished she could just sleep past the next few weeks. Yeah right, she thought to herself, sleep was another thing she couldn't handle. Her once peaceful dreams were now darkened with nightmares of that day. Every time she closed her eyes she was right back there again. She felt the impact as she met the ground beneath her. She would feel Castle's body hovering above her; he was so close to her she could feel his breath on her face as she fought with all she had not to close her eyes. Then she heard it those words, the three words he said to her that changed everything.

Somewhere deep down she knew he had always felt that way for her, but hearing them out loud not knowing if she would ever be willing or able to say them back to him overwhelmed her. Then some days the nightmares would take her somewhere else entirely, some days she would wake up in the hospital. Only when she opened her eyes it wasn't doctors that surrounded her, it was her friends her family. She would see her dad, Castle, Ryan, Espo, and even Alexis. They would all be standing over her saying things in whispers, whispers she couldn't make out. And she would try to answer them or ask them what they were saying but she couldn't find her own voice to speak. Then she realized why they were whispering and why they were staring at her. She was dead. That was about the time she would wake up screaming.

This was going to be a long road to recovery. Kate Beckett was glad she was here alone, so no one could see her fall a part. So no one could see the scared vulnerable side she did her best to keep hidden. Then sometimes…sometimes she almost wished she had someone here to talk to, and not just someone but him. She laughed at how ridiculous she sounded even to her self. The fact was Castle was probably so caught up in whatever the hell it was he was caught up in he probably hadn't given her much of a second thought in the week that she had been gone.

Eleven times now she had taken her phone out and stared at his picture on her contact id.

Eleven times she almost called him just to hear the sound of his voice, just to see if he could make her laugh in only a way he knew how to do when things were at there worst. Eleven times she almost gave into him, but fear stopped her every single time.

1 week, 7 days, 168 hours, 35 minuets it has been since he saw her that day in the hospital, since she said she would call him. It was crazy he couldn't make it past the second day without wondering when she would call. Every time the phone rang he jumped as fast as possible to answer hoping against all hope it would be her. But sadly, to his disappointment it never was. Damn it, why didn't he just get up the nerve, take out the damn phone and call her. Hell he could even tell her something as so lame as he didn't mean to dial her number; ugh he hated feeling like this. He hated not knowing how she was.

Castle had gotten so use to seeing her everyday, that going this long without seeing her felt unnatural. Part of him couldn't help but wonder, if she was wondering about him too. Late at night when he should be sleeping he would find himself sitting in his office attempting to finish his latest novel but nothing happened. No words came to him. All he did was sit there daydreaming or night dreaming, whatever it is you want to call it about her. He would wonder what she was doing in that cabin all alone. He wondered how bad she hurt if she was still in pain. He wondered if she knew he was thinking about her every three seconds.

Castle honestly didn't know how long he could go on like this without seeing her, without getting visible proof that she was ok and alive. On day eight Castle decided what he had to do. He had to go see her. Gathering what things he thought he would need he left a note to his mother and slipped out into the night to find the one who was constantly on his mind.

It took him some digging and convincing of certain people to tell him where Kate was at. He knew she was at her father's cabin he just didn't know exactly where the cabin in question was. It didn't take him long to get the answers he needed. He left the city and headed south to where he knew he would find her.

He watched as the city started slowly fading away and the scenery around him turned more and more relaxing. He could almost see Kate here, growing up in a place like this. He could imagine her at ten years old running around with her dad, he hair pulled back in a ponytail with those few strands that never wanted to stay back hanging in her hazel eyes. He smiled at these images of her childhood he created.

It was a four hour drive from the city for him to make it to his destination. When he got out of the car he started to worry. What if she didn't want him here? What if she blamed her getting shot on him? Castle sighed as he made his way to the front door of the small cabin on the lake; this was a chance he was going to have to take if he wanted to see her. He stood and the front door for a few moments gathering his courage up to knock. He was afraid of what she might say, of what he might find, but more then anything he was afraid of not being with her. So he exhaled the breath he had been holding and softly knocked on the wooden door so he didn't startle her.

He could hear the sound of movements on the other side of the door, so he knew she was there. He knew she had heard him when he announced his arrival. The door opened and there she was. She didn't even look up to meet his eyes at first. She squinted as the bright light of mid-afternoon seemed to be to overpowering for her to handle. Castle quickly took in her appearance, she was wearing black leggings and oversized grey t shirt that said NYPD on it. Her hair was down and mess, it looked like she hadn't brushed it in days. But when she looked up after her eyes and adjusted to the intrusion of the light that is what broke him. Her once beautiful hazel eyes that always radiate were now almost vacant. He could tell she hadn't been sleeping, and that thought alone almost brought him to tears.

"Castle?" She questioned.

"Hi Kate." He replied.

A/N: Ok guys so what do you think of this?