Today was the day I had dreaded for so long.

Not that I usually dreaded the first day of school, it was inevitable, no point in dragging your feet about it. It was my lack of company I was dreading. Jacob and I had been inseparable ever since we were younger. I can't really describe it, other than he just made everything good. I learned to appreciate the rainy days and I didn't hate the cold, I learned to love the forests and the beauty of nature all around me. He gave me the confidence that I had never known I was capable of, and when my world was destroyed the night I lost my father, he picked up the pieces and spent all of his time putting me back together. He was everything to me, and just made life better, all around. It was like he magnified me from what I was, and brought out all the good things that had been hidden beneath the surface. And now here I was facing the first day of my senior year without him. Neither one of us really understood why his father had all of a sudden been so demanding that he go to school there in La Push, but we also didn't see any reason to fight it either. We would still see each other, no big deal. Well, not until I was faced with the prospect of dealing with all these idiots on my own. Not that Jake and I were anti-social, we just had very little tolerance for stupid, which unfortunately ran like water through this school. My first task of the day was to find Angela. Luckily she was looking for me too.

"I really thought I'd see him walking in today with you."

"I wish."

"I can't believe his dad really wouldn't let him come back."

"I guess he wants him to graduate there on the rez with the rest of the tribe. I can kinda see his point. And it's not like we'll never see each other, it's just weird not having him, you know?"

"Oh yeah, I don't know what I would do if Ben got sent away to another school."

"Well, it's a little different when you're talking about Ben. I mean, he's your boyfriend. Jake's just a friend. I'll manage."

"Yeah, ok. Whatever you say Bells."

Luckily the warning bell rang before she could get into how it was such a waste that Jake and I weren't more than friends. Not that I hadn't thought about it a million times already, I just liked to act like she was crazy.

Another drawback to not having Jake around? I was alone with my thoughts. I had been thinking more and more about 'us', and I got the feeling that he had been too. I hated to even think of the stupid, overused cliche of not wanting to ruin our friendship, but it was true. He really was my everything. I trusted him above anyone else, and could never even try to imagine my life without him. If we were to start dating, what are the odds it would end good enough for us to get back to where we are now? On the other hand, if our friendship was this amazing, maybe a romantic relationship would be even more so. I just couldn't get out from under all the 'what-ifs'. I guess there was a small, and I mean incredibly small, chance it wouldn't end at all, but who does that anymore? Especially at such a young age. I can see if you wait until you were thirty, but based on my personal observances, there was very little chance.

Part of me just wanted to say, screw it, let's try it and see what happens. Funny how that little voice sounded so much like Jake. And it isn't that he doesn't take our friendship as serious as I do, he just doesn't pick everything apart like I do. He would have the confidence to not worry about the 'what-ifs' and just enjoy everything in the moment. His way of thinking wasn't without consequences though. Just because it was easy, didn't mean it was right.

All this was a moot point though without talking to him first, and I didn't see me raising this topic anytime soon. I could tell things were changing between us, there seemed to be tension where there wasn't any before. His smiles had started making me feel funny now, and his innocent touches seemed to linger longer. It could be my imagination, but it was so often, and when I wasn't even thinking about it, that I'm convinced I wasn't imagining it all. It sucked not being able to talk to him about this, and ever since Leah fell off the face of the earth, I really didn't talk to anyone else other than Angela, and she was so 'Team Jacob', whatever that means, she wouldn't be able to consider it without bias. So I guess I would just let it simmer in my brain until it either faded away, or exploded into something I couldn't control.

Yep, that sounded about right.

So that's how I wasted the first four hours of my first day, completely lost in thought and going through the motions of syllabus overviews. I was headed to lunch when Angela caught up to me.

"Just wanted to give you a heads up, you may want to steer clear of the lunchroom."

"Why?"

"You and Jake. Well, more like the absence of Jake."

"Seriously?"

"Of course! Did you think no one would notice? These people are vultures for good gossip."

"It's not even that good! He went to a different school, how is that interesting?"

"You know how these people are, if someone gets a haircut, it's news around here."

"Alright, well thanks for the warning. I'll probably hide out in the library. I don't really have the patience to deal with them right now."

Unfortunately avoiding the situation was only temporary. Very temporary. I was bound to have at least one class with the queen of all the vultures, so I came prepared.

"Bella! Where were you at lunch? We looked for you everywhere! Where's Jacob? Did he get kicked out of school? Did he drop out?" Jessica said, all in one breath.

I swear, I truly believe the girl got dumber the more oxygen she took in.

"Yep. He dropped out and joined some biker gang. I haven't heard from him in weeks. He may be dead for all I know." I heard Mike snickering behind me. Jessica's face when from scared, to confusion, to anger in all of three seconds. It was actually pretty impressive. She should look into acting.

"Damn Bella, it was just a question! You don't have to be such a bitch about it." I huffed in exasperation rolling my eyes to the ceiling.

"If I'm such a bitch, then how about you stop asking me about crap that isn't any of your business!" I was a little louder than I meant to be, and I could tell I was close to losing my temper with her, and she really wasn't worth it. I heard a couple laughs from behind me, and a whispered 'fat chance', which earned a snort from me, but neither me nor Jessica spoke the rest of the period, which was fine by me.

Several long hours later I was finally driving home. I was itching to just keep on driving past my house and on to Jacob's, but upon driving up, I saw the familiar VW sitting in my drive. I release the breath I didn't know I'd been holding onto, apparently all day. I slammed the truck into park with the plan of running over to hug him, but he beat me to the punch when he ripped my door open and yanked me into a bear hug. I was giggling and squealing like a little girl as he swung me around. Just being in his arms had the misery of my day melting away.

"God, I missed you." He said into my hair.

"It's just been one day!" I couldn't help but laugh at his over-dramatic admission.

"I don't care, it was one day too long."

"I know what you mean. I missed you like crazy too." He hugged me tighter and then slowly set me back on the ground. I looked up into his eyes as he looked at me, and saw something there, but was unsure of what exactly it was.

"Come on. I'll see if I've got any more cookie dough left." I watched as his eyes went from looking at me that way, to change and brighten as his grin grew. I couldn't help but laugh, the boy was putty when it came to food. Unfortunately, he never had enough patience to wait for cookies to actually bake, so we ended up eating it raw in the living room floor.

"You know, baked cookies are actually really good."

"They take too long. This is edible now."

"People actually get salmonella from eating it raw."

"You're so full of crap Swan."

"No I'm not! It's the raw eggs that's in it. Look it up!"

"Speaking of looking up useless knowledge, how was school?"

"Grrrr…"

"That good huh?"

"I did get bumped up to AP bio, so that was pretty good. Sat next to some creep though, I'm hoping I won't have to be his partner all year."

"Creep? What did he do?"

"Nothing, he was just, I don't know, weird. I didn't even talk to him, he just, I don't know, creeped me out. I sat faced away from him the whole period."

"What was his name?"

"I actually don't remember, I haven't seen him around much. Oh, and I talked to Mrs Cope and she's gonna let me work in the library during my lunch period. So I'm super excited about that. I don't have to deal with idiots that push my buttons."

"Oh yeah, I definitely don't miss that. So you avoided everybody today?"

"Well, I kinda lost it with Jessica."

"Really? What happened?" He was grinning at the prospect of me putting the girl in her place.

"I just got sick of her putting her nose in everyone else's business. I mean, is her life so boring that she needs to get her spice from everyone around her? She asked if you had dropped out or been kicked out, and I told her you had joined a biker gang….."

He was rolling on the floor laughing as I told him the story I had made up to her, which made me start laughing at him.

"Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! Oh man, what did she say? Did she believe you?"

"I think she did at first, then she got mad, and I yelled at her for calling me a bitch, an-"

"Woah. She called you a what?" He suddenly stopped and sat up, and got very serious.

"Oh please. It's Jessica, would do you expect?" Jake clenched his jaw a couple times. "Aw Jake, come on. Who cares about her? I certainly don't, and from what I remember, you don't either." I laid my hand on his shoulder and felt him relax.

"Sorry." He breathed out. "I just really... anyway, what else."

"That was about it. I pretty much just talked to Ben and Angela. What about you? How's school on the rez?"

Once I got Jacob talking about his day, things got back to normal. I still thought it was a little weird how angry Jake seemed to get about Jessica, I mean, it was Jessica. The only thing I could think of was that maybe he was stressed in school. We compared syllabuses and found that for the most part, we would be working on the same things around the same time, so we could help each other to study. I made us dinner and he left about ten. That was another thing I didn't like about him not going to school. He used to spend the night a lot, and we would just ride together the next day. He even had his own bedroom, although more often than not we ended up falling asleep in the living room watching tv. I hadn't realized I was so opposed to staying in this house alone. It was an older house, so it was constantly creaking. When Jake stayed, we would joke about ghosts walking around upstairs. The past couple nights it hadn't seemed as funny. I just crawled onto the couch, left the tv and lights on, and hoped to sleep at least a little, in spite of the footsteps overhead.