Chapter 5

Broken and Gone

I sat at my desk, tapping my pencil on it. I looked up at the ceiling, just thinking about everything.

"Yo, Izaya," came an annoying voice. I looked over my shoulder to see him.

White hair, leather hoodie, jeans that were too big for him, so they hung low and you could see the brand new underwear he bought. It just screamed, "I will mess your fucking life up."

I turned back to the ceiling, clearly it was more interesting than him.

He noticed that and smirked, slamming his hands on my desk, the banging noise and the sound of his many bracelets jingling together echoed throughout the room.

"Hello, Izaya," he laughed, sitting his stupid ass right on top of my desk. I sat back in my seat, glaring at him.

"My friends and I made a bet, who will get you to squeal first."

He pointed to his group of friends that were behind me. He pointed to one, who looked way too old to be in a high school.

"He says I can do it right now, and will give me 100 dollars if I do it," he said, ruffling my hair. I didn't flinch, I knew that would feed this kid some more.

"Now, be nice to daddy and do as I say, I need that 100 dollars you know, maybe buy my girlfriend something nice. But," he sighed, putting a finger under my chin and lifting my head to be face to face with his. "You will never know that feeling. Because your a fag and no one dates fags!"

He laughed with his buddies as he pushed me, so I fell backwards with the chair.

Groaning, I slowly picked myself up, and stood in front of him.

I felt someone grab my shoulders from behind, looking back, I saw it was old man.

"Hey, play nice ▓▓▓▓▓! You know Izaya is just skin and bones. We don't want him running back to his mommy and daddy about this, showing off his bruises," he laughed, shaking me a little. "Ah! I forgot, you are so fragile Izaya," he said, cupping my face with both hands. I tried grabbing at them, forcing them off but he wouldn't budge.

"Oi," came a new voice. I looked over to see a student I have never seen before. He had brown hair, and a really pissed off look on his face.

I thought an angel had come through, and was going to save me.

But...

I was wrong.

"You're leaving me out? How uncool," he smirked, walking over to me. "Come on, let's take this elsewhere."

I looked up at him, my eyes wide with disbelief.

"Haha ▓▓▓▓▓▓! You made it just in time," replied the white hair boy. "We were just about to break Izaya, oh and kill that horrible rumor!"

He turned to me with a smile.

I knew they could read my face, 'what rumor?'

"The rumor saying your a guy, clearly you aren't pussy," he laughed before kissing me right on the lips.

"Shizuo?"

The white haired boy that stood right in front of us looked at us like we were aliens.

"How do you know my name," Shizuo asked, shielding me more from these kids.

"Uh, you don't remember me," he asked, walking up to Shizuo, taking the cigarette from between his lips out and smirking.

"No, I don't, clearly you know me though, and how," Shizuo sounded angry, very very angry. I grabbed the back of his shirt to remind him I was here.

I'm guessing the two people in front of him couldn't see me at all.

"Who would've thought the great and powerful Shizuo doesn't even remember his best friend, how rude! I'm hurt," he said, clutching his shirt that was over his heart.

"Best friend?"

"That's right," the kid laughed. "We used to be best friends! We would joke around, skip school and hang out at the park close by."

"I don't remember any of that," Shizuo said, sounding very confused.

"Wow, that old man did a number on you!"

"Old man?"

"Ha! You really don't remember," he snickered, stepping closer to Shizuo. I could see Shizuo put his hand behind his back, and point to the door near me.

I understood what he meant, run.

So I did.

I quickly dashed for the door, running down the halls. I had to find a place to hide, and quick! Darting to the library, I ran straight in, quickly going behind the main desk and hiding.

I knew I had to be safe here, he would never look here.

As I sat down I noticed a book by my feet. Carefully lifting it up I looked at the cover.

"The Story of trees", it read.

The story of trees? Trees don't have a story!

I carefully opened it, skimming through the book.

"Just because a tree does not show us anything, doesn't mean it doesn't have a story behind it. The oldest tree is a Bristlecone Pine Tree. Dating back to 5,000 years old. This tree has lived through both the world wars, the creation of the new world, and many other historical moments. If only this tree could talk, it'd have a story to tell."

How interesting, I never thought of trees like that. You usually pass them by, without a thought in the world.

"Didn't you just plant an acorn with Shizuo not to long ago," came a voice. I jumped and slowly turned to see Hikari. He flashed a smile at me, before greeting me with a small rub on my leg.

"Yea, so what?"

"I'm sure that tree will have a story to tell as well," he laughed, jumping on top of the desk, and looking down at me. "I bet you have you have a story to tell as well, just like that tree."

"No one would want to listen to my story," I muttered, pulling my knees to my chest.

"I'm sure Shizuo would listen."

"Shizuo knows barely anything about me, he doesn't know my past."

"But he did get you to talk again. When your father thought you'd forever be a mute, you weren't!"

"I was never mute," I hissed.

"Alright, alright," he giggled.

"Shizuo, who the hell was that!" I heard the boy call from down the hall.

I quickly shut up, at the cat smirked at me. Trying to make myself as tiny as I could, I could hear their stomping footsteps coming near the door.

Please don't come into the library! Why come into the library, out of all the places in the school!

I felt a sigh of relief when I soon heard Shizuos foot steps.

"Guys, I think it's time you left," he said.

"Who was that with you," yelped the boy, obviously super pissed off.

"I don't have to tell you that, now get out."

"This isn't your school Shizuo! You don't own the place!"

"I don't, but I could punch your brain out of your skull, don't test me."

"Fine, come on Marina, let's go," the white haired boy said, making his way to the door.

Once fully gone Shizuo opened the door to the library.

"Izaya, are you in here," he called.

I popped my head out from behind the desk, to see Shizuo staring at me. Once I saw that the coast was clear I made my way to him and handed him the book.

"What is this," he asked, looking at the cover.

"Book."

"I see that, but why?"

"Trees."

"Izaya, you know how to use complete sentences," he muttered, shoving the book under his arm.

Before he could say anything else I quickly hugged him. I could tell he had a confused look on his face, as he didn't hug me back.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Izaya."

As we walked back silently to the hospital, I stopped. Shizuo noticed and stopped as well, looking back at me with a confused look.

"Shizuo."

"Izaya...?"

"I have something to tell you," I said quietly, I'm surprised he could hear me. He knelt down so we were on eye level, making this situation even worse.

"What is it?"

"Please believe me! I found this note and it was for you. It said something about fate... I forget. Anyways, it said that it wanted to take everything away from you, starting with your brother! They said to keep the date, July 9th," I rambled, breaking down into tears at some point. "I'm sorry Shizuo, I'm sorry! I found the note July 1st and meant to tell you sooner, but I couldn't."

Shizuo stared at me with a blank expression. He must be processing everything I just said.

"Izaya, I'm not mad," was the first thing he said, which surprised me a lot. "It's just some stupid note. My brother is fine and healthy, I talked to him this morning-"

"But it's not July 9th!"

"Izaya, I will talk to him July 9th and everything will be fine. I'm not going to let a stupid note scare me. So don't cry, I hate seeing you cry."

He isn't listening to me! He isn't listening! I cried even more, shrieking for that matter.

"Izaya! Calm down," he grabbed me quickly, hugging me to cover up the noise of my crying.

"I promise no one will hurt my brother. I'll talk to him the morning of July 9th."

"Promise," I questioned, sniffling slightly.

"Promise," he replied, kissing my lips.

We got back at around 4AM and once we got back into our rooms I fell straight to sleep. I was knocked out. All the events from that day made me so tired.

When I woke up, I was grumpy. Of course. Who wouldn't be grumpy? I took my pills and went off to the main room where Aoba sat. He looked up at me.

"Izaya."

"Aoba."

"I know you snuck out last night..."

I froze.

"How?"

"I know a lot of things, Izaya," he commented, looking down at his lap.

"Aoba, I thought we were friends, what happened?"

"I didn't say I'd tell anyone, did I," he asked.

"Guess not," I muttered, feeling myself relax a little bit. I didn't like where this was going though.

"But, I do have my way of getting things." I didn't like how his voice sounded. I stiffened. "Give me all your pills and I won't tell anyone."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Why do you want my pills," I asked, giving him a confused look.

"Because, I do, and that's not any of your business. So if you don't want the nurses finding out you went to the school last night, I'd hand them over tomorrow," and with that, he got up and left.

I sat there, confused. Why would he want my pills? How could he know I went to the school last night? Something is happening to Aoba.

One minute they are friends and next they sound like enemies.

I soon heard footsteps behind me. Looking over my shoulder I saw Shinra.

Smiling slightly at him, as he gave me no emotion.

"Hey Shinra, what's up?"

No response.

"Uhm, did you hear what Aoba and I were just talking about?"

He nodded his head.

Shit.

"Look, please don't tell any-"

"Are you going to give him your pills," he asked, looking up.

I nodded.

"You know he's getting addicted to them, that's why he wants them."

"How do you know," I questioned, getting interested in the topic.

"I read about it. His brain is slowly starting to say that getting pills equals having a good time. And nothing could go wrong. He just got some pretty shitty news, so he wants more."

"What news?"

"I can't say," he mumbled, looking back down at the ground.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I don't know," he replied, as he turned around and walked off without another weird.

Shinra was definitely strange. But he knew something. And I needed to find out.

I woke up to the sun shining through the curtains of my windows. I slowly peeled my eyes open to see Shizuo gone. Stretching slightly I got up and walked out the door.

As I gave a small yawn, before looking at the commotion.

I saw Shizuo getting surrounded by nurses, they didn't seem so happy.

"Izaya," Shizuo called, running over to me. I looked up at him with confusion.

"Well, you know how the nurses know we've dating," he muttered, clearly waiting for me to respond. I gave a small nod, urging him to continue. "Well, we are switching rooms. Shinra and I are switching."

"What? No," I yelled, grabbing his wrists as he told me the news. Why? Why did the nurses wanted to get rid of my one happiness.

I looked over to the nurses, glaring at them. They've been trying to get me out of this relationship for the longest time. First pills, now switching rooms. They were supposed to be helping me, but actually they were ruining my life.

Not knowing what to do I screamed, crying my eyes out.

Shizuo looked at me helpless me as he tried getting me to stop crying, but it wouldn't work.

Why did this world hate me? I will never know.

I did know I never wanted to live in this world anymore.

I layed on my bed, curled in a ball. Shinra was slowly unpacking his stuff. After my breakdown I ran into my room and hid under my blanket, refusing to get up. I didn't want to see anyone, I wanted to just disappear.

"I know you're mad that I'm here," Shinra muttered, as he sat on his bed, facing me. "But, this wasn't my decision."

I said nothing.

"Izaya, you made a lot of progress with your mental health, don't let this damage it."

Again, I didn't respond.

"Whatever."

I heard him get up, and grab some clothes. Clearly he was going to the showers, leaving me alone. Once I was completely alone, knowing by when he closed the door, I got up.

I looked around at the room, the lights were turned off but the sunlight still seeped through the window. I heard the faint sound of wind rustling the leaves outside, and birds chirping, softly muffled by the window not being open. If only the world could be this quiet forever, but I knew it wouldn't last.

"I see Shizuo had to get a new room," came a muffled laugh from my bed. I turned around and, of course, it was Hikari. Sometimes I enjoyed seeing his face.

But I wasn't in the mood today.

"Yea, no kidding," I muttered, staring back out the window.

"Hey, I'm just telling the truth, no harm to it," he laughed as he jumped on the windowsill, blocking my view.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as he kept talking, "I mean it's not like you can never see him again!"

"The nurses will keep trying to separate us," I responded, annoyance in my voice. "They don't care about me, they care about their own beliefs."

"Whatever," the cat said, jumping back on the bed. "Are you going to give Aoba your pills today?"

I sighed again. Shit. I forgot about that.

"I guess I have to, he says he knows everything-"

"A lot of thing," Hikari corrected. "He said he knew a lot of things."

"You know what I mean," I snapped. "I have to give them to him. Who knows what he knows! He can't rat me out, what if my dad finds out?"

"Want to know what I think? He knows shit. He saw you sneak out once and automatically assumed that he could use that against you."

"You think so? Still, he knows one thing. If the nurses or my dad found out I'd be dead. Better safe than sorry. Besides, I don't need my pills," I said, getting up and grabbing the ones I had to take today off the bedside table.

"Whatever," the cat responded, going back to sleep.

I walked out of the room, looking around to see no one around. Good. Everyone was in there rooms, that means it would be easy to find Aoba.

I walked over to their room, giving it a knock. Waiting 10 seconds until Aoba was at the door, looking at me. I smiled shyly as he let me into his room.

"Izaya," he said.

"Aoba," I responded.

"I heard what happened today," he said, giving me a look up and down. I sighed, of course.

"That's not what I'm here for but I'm sure everyone knows."

"And I'm sure everyone heard you," Aoba laughed.

"Shut up, I have what you want," I muttered holding out my hand to show him my pills. He smiled.

"Thank you Izaya, I will keep you secret a secret for today," he said slyly.

"How long do you want me to do this for," I asked, watching him place the pills in a container on his bedside table. He looked up.

"Until I feel content. Clearly these pills are meant to make me feel better, so until I feel better. Hopefully double the pills means the results are faster," he spoke as I leaned against the wall.

"I don't think that's how it works," I responded slowly, not sure what to say. I didn't think it, I knew it!

"What do you know? You're stuck here, just like the rest of us," he muttered, walking over to me and getting close to my face.

"What if the nurses find out that I'm giving you the pills," I asked, pushing him back so I didn't feel him breathing on me.

"Oops," he laughed, giving me a soft punch on the shoulder. "That'll be your problem here. I'm the victim. You didn't HAVE to give them to me."

"Yes I did," I shouted, before he covered my mouth with his friend.

"You want the whole building to hear you? Keep it down," he said, releasing my mouth. "But they didn't know that. And who do you think they will believe? Me, having not done anything wrong in this building. Or you, the fag who keeps sneaking out."

That's it.

I slammed Aoba to the ground, quickly turning around and opening the door.

I've had enough of these people.

Enough of this shit

Enough of everyone in the world.

I wanted to just disappear.

So I will.

I'm back! Sorry for taking so long! I've been busy applying to colleges! Thanks for understand though!

- Jamie (dinotsuki . tumblr . com)