SO WHERE WERE YOU?

Chapter 12

Medical assistance arrived rapidly. Times sure have changed, Han thought as he watched them try to save his father's life. Salla was being electronically handcuffed and led away by TatSec. In the past, neither would have shown up at Chalmun's. But the hoverambu carried Jonash to the nearest medicenter, with Han and Chewie.

"C'mon, Dad, stay with me, I only just met you," Han begged quietly. Jonash was losing blood rapidly, despite the attempts of the med droid on board doing everything he could to staunch it. Salla had hit him, hard, with one of the newest blaster models.

Han felt even more guilty than he had because he knew that he was the one that was meant to be killed.

Han thought about his own kids, what he'd do for them. And realized that he would have done exactly what his father did for him.

He waited with Chewie while his father was being treated. He hoped to whatever deities might be on duty at that time that they'd spare Jonash.

{It's not your fault, cub}, Chewie assured him.

Han shook his head. It wasn't his fault that Salla Zend was crazy. He knew that well. He'd had some fun with her back in the day, but after she became marriage crazed, he'd bolted and had never felt guilty about it. The only reason he hadn't taken the shot was because the New Republic was about laws, and they were laws he intended not to break.

At that moment, he wished he'd shot first.

Han stepped outside to comm Leia.

"What's wrong?" was Leia's first question.

"My father's been shot," Han told her, trying not to sound shaky and failing miserably at it.

"By someone he knew?" Leia asked gently.

"No. By someone I knew. Remember I told you about Salla Zend, my craziest ex-girlfriend?"

"You did. But she hasn't been around you in what, fifteen years?"

"Apparently she has a long memory and holds grudges. She was in the cantina tonight, aiming for me, and before I could do anything, my dad was blocking me. He took the shot."

"I'm so sorry, love," Leia said tenderly.

"He's in surgery," Han said, sounding as if the life had been drained out of him. "This is so wrong."

"It's the job of parents to care for their children. You may be forty-one years old, but you are still his child, and that will never change."

"I was just getting to be comfortable with him being my dad," Han said wearily. "The kids love him. You seem to care for him a lot."

"I do, love, I do. But regardless of what happens, just remember that he was simply being a parent protecting his child."

Han could see the med droid coming to Chewie. "I have to go now. I'll call you soon."

"Captain Solo," the med droid said softly. "We did what we could to save your father. I am sorry that we were not successful. His wounds were too grave."

"Thanks for trying," Han said, his voice starting to crack. Chewie patted his back with one of his giant paws.

{At least you had him for a little while}, Chewie mewled softly to him.

"Much too little."

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Leia had explained to the kids that Grandpa had died before Han came back, that it meant that Grandpa was not going to be able to visit them again. They cried, of course, but she knew that they were resilient, and would be, so long as she and Han were honest with them. Granted, they were not about to give them every detail, but they didn't gloss over the fact that Grandpa was dead.

Corellians practiced burial as opposed to cremation, and funerals tended to be private affairs, with only those closest to the deceased present. Friends and family would call on them during the week after burial, bringing food and drink and offering stories about the deceased, and many of the stories were very funny. It was a recognition that the deceased was really gone, and that his or her life deserved to be celebrated.

Jonash was buried in a memorial park north of the government district. It was an unusual place on Coruscant in that it was full of flowers, trees and soft lawns of grasses and moss. It was extremely quiet. The officiant, a Corellian herself, concluded his words, prayers for those in the next life, and comfort for the Solos, Luke, and Mara. Not that Mara and Luke were especially close to Jonash Solo, but they had known him and considered him family.

It was customary that the process of burial begin by each loved one taking a handful of dirt to place atop the simple coffin. Anakin, being the youngest, went first, then Jacen, Jaina, Luke, Mara, Leia, and Han being last. Each would then hand the officiant a tiny potted plant that would later be placed over the buried coffin, and would come to bloom over time. It was a living memory of sorts.

"Would anyone like to say a few words?" the officiant asked.

"I miss you, Grandpa," Jacen said tearfully.

"I miss you, too," Jaina said, very softly.

"Thank you for the time you did give us," was Leia's response.

"To have known one's father, for however short a time it was, is to know oneself better," Luke spoke.

"Any wrongdoing in your life has been redeemed," Mara added.

Leia commented again, "You shall be missed."

Han wasn't sure if he should say anything at all. In the end, he uttered a whispered, "thanks, Dad."

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The week of mourning and receiving guests had ended. Han and Leia were getting ready for bed.

"I don't think I can eat another casserole," Han commented wryly. He hadn't spoken much over the last week, and Leia was relieved that he'd remarked upon this.

Leia knew that Han felt tremendous guilt over what had happened to his father.

"Han, if it had been one of our kids, you'd have done the same thing," she said gently.

"I know. But if I hadn't taken him to the cantina –"

"Things happen for reasons we know nothing of and can't control," Leia reminded him.

He gave Leia a weak smile. "I know. But it'll take a while before it becomes real to me."

"Do you regret him re-entering your life?" Leia inquired gently.

Han shook his head. "No. I actually feel...I don't know, maybe a little more complete. Which is weird because there's this emptiness. It's a paradox I can't explain very well."

"You explained it perfectly," Leia said.

"He loved my mother," Han said, smiling. "Very much."

"He loved her the way you love me, Han." She slipped under the covers. "I think this might be a good time to honor that love."

Han smiled tenderly. "Yeah. I think you're right."