Written for Inuvember 2014 on tumblr. I made my own 30 Day Challenge, and this prompt was for Human, Demon, or Half-demon Inuyasha.

Human

He couldn't smell her properly like this. He inhaled sharply, trying, but it only filled his lungs too fast and made him cough. Had he his normal vocal chords, he would've growled.

His nose almost felt stuffy, his ears plugged, his eyes straining. Ugh. It was like being sick.

The only thing he could actually hear somewhat well was the sound of his voice, which sounded foreign and squeaky to the ears located on the sides of his head. He hated the new moon nights.

Before he had hated them because they made him weak- still the case, but in an entirely different way now.

He was weak emotionally and that had never affected him half as much as it did now that a certain girl was around. The things that would come outta his mouth when she was around! It could make him nauseous. He rather just sit in the corner biting his tongue lest he embarrass himself... or worse, scare her away. He knew Kagome was all for the mushy stuff, but he still feared that he would screw it up somehow.

Whatever, he could manage to be just as brusque if he tried.

The reason he hesitated staying secluded was that the little miko felt like she had to protect him; practically magnetizing herself to his vicinity. Granted, all his powers were gone and her spiritual energy was not. She was brimming with power as always, but just because she retained all her powers did not make her less vulnerable than any other night. It was just that on his human nights... he couldn't protect her.

It seemed kinda logical for her to go to the other side of the well on those nights, but that usually wasn't an option when they were miles from the village. Again, she basically refused to leave him anyway. She'd drag him with her if she could.

What made it harder, on human nights and with emotions and... whatever, was that he didn't want Kagome out of his sight. Usually she could be within hearing range, which wasn't very good now. Or even within smelling range, which was nearly non-existent now. To be within hearing range tonight she'd have to be within his general vicinity (and would need to speak normally), to be within sight she'd need to be in the same room, and to be within smelling range... well she'd need to be flush by his side. He'd put up with seeing range, but fucking hell. It was shitty not to smell her...

Inuyasha couldn't get her scent, couldn't define her little details, couldn't hear her stupid heartbeat or breathing with his awful, dull, human senses. He might have hated those reasons above the shame, above the fear and insecurity, above the weakness.

He hated being human because he couldn't feel her, even when she was right there.

Did she have any idea how crappy that felt? Not feeling?

He was absolutely torn on human nights between having her next to him just so he could get some peace of mind in knowing she was unharmed, and pushing her away lest his emotions betray him. It was all he could do to keep her at that certain distance that was close, but not too close. He had her too close to him before and then he went all crazy (though he could blame that on poison and blood loss) and told her that she smelled nice. What the fuck? He hadn't planned on telling her that! That was supposed to be a to-the-grave secret!

Oh, not to mention when he saw her flush naked over at that fake sage's place. He was all flustered and couldn't get her body out of his head, how relieved he felt and how breathtaking she had been. Again, maybe the blood loss, but that didn't change the fact that every other human night was filled with thoughts of her, words for her, longing for her.

The temporarily-human hanyou had a thought cross his mind. Roughly fifty years ago he had actually been planning to stay this way forever. Live half a life.

It was nights like this that reminded him how much he must have cared for Kikyou. If he was willing to live life in this sensory deprived, hell hole of an existence, then he really was willing to give her his life, wasn't he?

But then again, back then his sensory world wasn't really as... focused as it was now. He hadn't been addicted to a certain someone's scent like a drug, he hadn't had such a desperate need to hear a certain melodic voice, he hadn't been so aware of the details of a certain someone's features as he was now.

Since when did she become his world, his entire reason for living? That's right. She became his life. And he didn't owe that to anyone. Back then, fifty years ago when he had promised Kikyou everything, he didn't have Kagome.

But now he did, and being a human wasn't good enough.

The last thing he wanted was for her to see him this weak, too! Argh! He protected her, and now he was essentially useless. All he could do was basically toss his body around and use the weight to tackle something to the ground. No Tessaiga, no claws, nothing! His sheath still worked wonders, but with the youkai they crossed paths with, it wasn't enough for anything too dire.

No being able to smell out Kagome's location, no hearing subtle hints of contrary emotion in her voice, no seeing her features in the dark. It was stressful. It was empty.

She seemed to like him this way fine. It was more of a neutral acknowledgement, really. She didn't like him better this way. The only thing she really said about it was that she was glad to know because it meant he trusted her. Friends share secrets, blah, blah. Mushy nonsense. Whatever.

Inuyasha continued to stare into space, but took notice of the girl getting up and moving towards him.

Black hair mingled together as Kagome took her place sitting next to him. Her shoulder brushed his arm just slightly.

Close. She was closer now, and it put him at ease while unnerving him at the same time.

He bit back the urge to put his arm around her, yet no words to tell her to leave would form. Oh, he liked her there so much... Wait. Fuck. Fucking human thoughts.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, not really hiding the concern. At least that much was obvious. She was always concerned about him.

"Like shit," he replied bluntly, but honestly.

She bobbed her head in a short nod, "I see..." There was a slight pause and she moved away to look into violet eyes."I can go if you want to be left alone..."

He wanted to tell her to go away and let him be. He wanted to tell her to stay. "Keh. You do what you want. It's your decision."

With that said she was back leaning against his shoulder, relaxed. His thoughts drifted to the last new moon they spent together.

...

They'd finally gotten back to the village to restock on supplies. Honestly, having human companions was such a drag. They tired out so easily and needed food and water and shelter and whatever. He'd gone through most of his life scraping along! For god's sake, the monk had to have done some fasting or something!

No, never mind. Miroku was always the most aggressive in making sure they were comfortable beyond their means. How many expensive inns and headmen's homes had they stayed at because of his tricks? He could get pretty pouty when they were stuck in the forest for the night.

Shippou was the worst whiner by far though. Little brat didn't know how good he had it, all curled up with Kagome and digging through her backpack for treats all the time. When he was with his parents he lived in some cushy kitsune village. Spoiled kid didn't know what it was like to sleep alone in the trunk of a rotting tree or go weeks without a scrap of meat.

Sango dealt with their arrangements with minimal complaints. She was tough and she could handle sleeping on the ground, but even he noticed how she'd be in a much better mood when she got some rest indoors. Same with Kirara.

Kagome was a mixed bag. She complained about the forest sometimes, liked it other nights. She was absolutely ecstatic to sleep inside, but she'd leave feeling good too. She only ever got really complain-y when she was antsy to get home, checking her cal-len-dahr notebook and mumbling stuff about school and test dates. She'd been that way for the past few days, and it grated on his nerves. Everyone else rallied behind her though, so off they went.

Fine. It was going to be a bad night no matter where they spent it. Even he could be a little relieved not to need to scramble to hide tonight. Still, waiting for the sun to set was irritating. He'd like to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Go home already, why don't you?" he said, annoyance covering up his question.

Kagome sat across from him in Kaede's hut studying. She only looked at him briefly before returning to her book. "Not tonight."

His eyebrow twitched. "You wouldn't shut up about it for days, so what are you sitting around here for?"

Without looking up she answered, "I told you, not tonight. I'll go home in the morning." She flipped a page. "What are you pushing me out the door for anyways? You never like it when I go."

"We're stuck here tonight regardless. The sooner you go, the sooner we can leave and get back on track."

"Tomorrow," she said with an air of finality.

Inuyasha shut up and sank further into himself, glaring at her for thinking she had won. What was her problem anyway?!

Just then she looked up and caught the angry look he was giving her. Instead of shooting him a glare or a face of annoyed indifference, her eyes softened. "The day's almost over anyways. It'll be morning soon enough, Inuyasha. I'll go then."

He didn't know if she was saying that to end the argument or if it meant something more reassuring... He couldn't help the gnawing feeling that it was the latter. She was going to stay for him, wasn't she?

He felt astonished, humbled, grateful, completely caught off guard by how thoughtful she was being for his sake. Soon his own pride morphed his feelings into something ugly. She wasn't worried about him. This was pity! As if he needed her to stay with him. As if he hadn't dealt with this almost all his fucking life! He would've said something, but he was still stunned by her words. Still confused over what they meant. That and he didn't want to start a fight when she was reading. That'd be a fool's error.

When the sun set after everyone had eaten, his transformation occurred as expected. Sango and Miroku were worn out from the past few battles and days of traveling while Shippou was exhausted after a fulfilling day of playing with the village kids. After a filling, hearty meal they were all asleep soundly. They always seemed to crash when they found time to relax and gather their bearings.

Not Kagome though.

Kagome sat herself near Inuyasha and had resumed cramming. It took an hour of intensive head-in-the-books studying before she sighed and closed it with a quiet snap of paper. He expected her to sleep then, especially if she was planning on leaving in the morning. Instead she stayed quiet, sat her legs up, and scooted herself closer to him.

God, this was pity, wasn't it?

"I've been through the new moon plenty of times on my own, you know," he announced suddenly with a voice coated in bitterness.

Kagome seemed only a little surprised at his outburst, but she kept her eyes fixed on the low flame in front of them for a long time. He thought he won then. She had no retort because he was right. She should feel bad for trying to be so sympathetic. For treating him like a weak, pathetic child. Just who did she think she was? He'd spent hundreds of human nights without her! Like he needed her to stay with him now. Ever! Like he ever needed her to comfort him!

He didn't know how long it took her to speak, but he'd never forget when her hand was suddenly on his, what she said and how she sounded when she said it.

"I know. I know you did, and I'm so sorry."

She looked sad and pained, and so sincerely apologetic that he didn't know how to react. Was she really that sad for him? Not... pitying him?

All the nights he had been alone, scrounging to get cover and survive without a soul to talk to flashed in his mind. The first few times after his mother passed when he was still young, when he cried and shook for hours. The last time he cried and was found by a demon because of his small noises and the scent of tears. How he had sometimes gotten delirious from lack of sleep yet too terrified to close his eyes. Having too much pride to take advantage of his human form to beg for food. The few times he was just too desperate to refrain from that.

He had forgotten how lonely he used to feel back then... all those times before Kagome came along...

He wondered if she knew how painful they were. If that was why she was sorry. If that was why she had put off going home in order to be with him. Like she was making up for then, sorry she couldn't have been here for him earlier.

As he looked into her big, glassy eyes, he couldn't help but think that she must have meant it that way. She knew he had spent all those nights, alone. She was sorry and hurting because of his pain.

He swallowed a lump in his throat. A tightening in his chest made him pull her over closer to him.

"Just... stay til morning," he said quietly into her hair.

...

Her scent hit his nose very subtly and while he hated that it wasn't as strong or defined as he was used to, he relished the sensation very much. It had only been a few hours and even the slightest whiff was infinitely reassuring.

Inuyasha bit down a million questions and words that were fighting to spill forth from his mouth. What did last time mean? Did she really feel that bad? Why had she stayed with him? Did she even understand what it meant to him? How could she?

He shook the thoughts from his mind as best as he could. For now he just wanted what he had last time, for her to stay with him.

She didn't need to be told to stay though. The girl would sit by his side all night and be there in the morning when the sun came up and ended the new moon's power over him. She would linger for a while, but once his powers were given back, she would eventually move away now that she didn't have to be so close for him to feel at ease.

Until then though, he was tense and suffering and oh so mortal. He hated it.