This ship hit me like a ton of bricks. Within two minutes of seeing Tadashi and Gogo I was already plotting out this little piece. That movie was really amazing; and this ship kills me. I was crying when Tadashi died (which is saying something, considering I never cry at movies) and I have been working on this for the last two hours since the movie ended.

Enjoy I hope. There will be tears.

"It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone." -John Steinbeck

It rather late, GoGo knows, but she can't bring herself to go home; after the hundreds of hours she's put into the magnetic-levitation technology, it's almost ready to go. Her hands are steady as her fingers brush against the smooth surface of the mag-lev disk carefully, fitting it just into position —

There's a sharp screech as the mag-lev disk clashes against the metal of the bike and GoGo swears, letting the dish slip from her hands and clatter to the floor. Closing her eyes, she forces herself to take a deep breath; there's no need to get upset, not at all. Only — there's a ball of energy sparking in her chest, forming a knot in her throat.

Breathe, GoGo tells herself, trying keeping her hands steady. I'll get this right eventually.

She opens her eyes again, adjusting once more to the sharp fluctuation of the fluorescent lights above her. Ignoring the sharp pain that flares up in her knee, she bends down, the pads of her gloves taking the disk into her hands once more.

Her ears perk as another sound appears; this one softer, lighter, with the soles of shoes clicking against the tile. GoGo turns her head sharply, gaze meeting one that she had seen often around the lab.

Ignoring the jolt that flickers beneath her ribs, GoGo stands and meets Tadashi's warm brown eyes as the boy adjusts the all-too familiar bag that seems to never leave his shoulder.

"Hey," he greets with a familiar quirk of a smile. "Still working?"

GoGo straightens fully, setting the meg-lab disk on the workbench beside her. She pulls her hands behind her back, her chest moving upward as she stretches, jacket moving slightly where it had been perched on her shoulders.

She hides her smirk when his pupils darken and fingernails clutch tighter around the leather strap of his bag. Nodding up at his tall figure, she lets a yawn escape from her lips.

"Late night," she replies shortly. Her head jerks towards the now-still movement of her bike. "Seems like I'll never get it done."

"You will," he encourages, smile seemingly a permanent fixture on his features. Tadashi slips the bag over his head and off his shoulder, letting it crumple to the ground. He takes a step closer; she doesn't move, only looking up at him with a quirk in her eyebrows as he comes towards her, swiping the disk from the bench as he does.

Tadashi forces the mag-lev dish back in her palms, his fingers brushing hers as he does so. She swallows, trying to ignore the flicker of heat that coils in her middle.

"Tadashi," she starts, but he shakes his head firmly, gaze lowering to meet hers.

"Don't give up," he states. "You'll get there."

She quirks her lips into a slight smile, adjusting her grip so it's a bit more firm on the object in her hands. "I try," she laughs, tilting her head at an angle. They're only a few inches apart now; the lights are still flickering above them, but the rest of the university has long since gone dark. In fact, as her eyes dart to the nearby numbers on the wall, she realizes that it's far past midnight.

Tadashi pulls back then with her hesitation, but she refuses to acknowledge the sinking feeling in her chest. Forcing a slight smile back onto her face, she steps back and blindly grasps the worn material of her backpack behind her, pulling it over her shoulder.

Meeting his gaze again, she takes a deep breath, ignoring the fluttering beneath her ribcage. "Ready?"

He nods, his smile dimming a little. She brushes past him, nudging her shoulder against his. She manages to keep pace with his long legs nearly the entire time, and as they excited the institute, the last of the lights flicker off, plunging them into near darkness.

Tadashi turns to her, the outline of his face visible against the moonlight. "How 'bout a drink?" he asks, hopefulness bleeding through his voice.

GoGo pauses, but only for a moment; it's dangerous to do this with him, she knows, but there's a slight brush of happiness that she hasn't felt in a while. She nods, meeting his smile with her own hesitant one.

"Okay."

She's drunk.

Very drunk.

GoGo hasn't been this drunk in a while, but it feels good; it feels amazing to have the world spinning and her inhibitions down, just enjoying the feelings of freedom. Only, the feeling of heat in her middle and her heart pounding hard against her ribs hasn't gone away. It's gotten stronger with each and every sip in fact, but she doesn't mind.

Tadashi's drunk too, just as drunk as her in fact, but they both seem to be holding their liquor rather well; she was surprised that he was keeping up with her, but he'd always been full of suprises. Sweet, tall, gorgeous —

She stumbles on a stray rock, a swear tumbling from her lips. A barking laugh escapes from his mouth, and she turns only to stick her tongue out. GoGo's aware enough to realize that they're only a few streets from her apartment and a few more from his aunt's house, but she can't bring herself to care. It's fun hanging out with him; while Honey is one of the only other girls in the "nerd" department, she's a bit of a loose screw. Tadashi knows her far better than the rest of the team and it's nice to have someone who had gone through what she had.

She'd lost her mom when she was almost ten; paired with an absent father, she'd grown up pray to the whims of her not-all-there grandmother, who had strictly told her that girls should in no way be involved in science.

"Hey," Tadashi whispers, hand falling onto her shoulder. She starts, gaze jerking up to meet his. "You okay?"

GoGo nods, smile quirking up to match his small one. "Just — just thinking, I guess."

He tilts his head to the side, hair flopping to the opposite side. Absentmindedly she reaches up, brushing the stray strand out of his eyes.

He's gone stock-still and she's frozen also, eyes locked and breathing barely there. This is the second time tonight they'd been in a position like this, but it seems different almost; her pulse speeds up as his own hand slips from her shoulder to her hips, fingers brushing at the bare-skin just underneath her tee.

It's cold, she thinks, but it's also not — it's firmly hot, his touch burning a trail of fire along her skin as she holds her breath, a lump in her throat.

And then he's lowering his lips to hers, kissing her hesitantly and powerfully all at once; she gasps as she pulls herself closer to him, her fingers shakily gripping the fabric of his jacket collar. His tongue flickers between her lips as she tilts her head for better access. She's trembling as she bites his lower lip, but he is too — her foot stumbles as they move to the side, letting the shadows slip over them as she's pressed against a brick wall, one of the many that decorate San Fransokyo's side streets.

It's a different feeling, kissing him; it's like nothing she's ever experienced before, hot and cold all at once, and she likes it. She honestly, truly likes it — it's brilliant and spine-tingling and goosebump causing and she doesn't want to stop.

But their lips break apart from each other suddenly, with his hand still stroking the soft skin beneath her shirt; he doesn't pull away, and neither does she.

"Tadashi," she gasps, the cold hitting her suddenly. "What — what're we doing?"

Something akin to hurt flashes over his eyes and he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing. She's still pressed against the wall and he's still pressed against her, but she doesn't want to move; she doesn't want to do anything really but just be near him, if that made any sense. It's an odd feeling.

"I don't know," he chokes out. "I don't—" he pulls one hand away from the back of her neck, running it nervously though his hair. Tadashi swallows again, his breaths coming faster than usual. "GoGo, I—"

"Tadashi," she interrupts him, voice low. A bit husky, if she'd say so herself. "Kiss me again."

His eyebrows shoot up as his eyes lock with hers, bewildered. "GoGo—"

She doesn't give him the chance though because she's jerking his head down to her level, pressing her lips firmly against his. GoGo teases her tongue between his lips, brushing it against the roof of his mouth; he's shuddering, so unlike the put-together Tadashi she's used to seeing every day. He tastes like alcohol and the hint of whisky as he kisses her back, tilting his head to the side and digging his fingers tightly against her hipbone. She hisses at him when Tadashi breaks away, but immediately arches herself against him as his lips attack her collarbone, nipping and pressing open-mouthed kisses there.

It feels right, and not much has felt right in her life.

When her head grows dizzy and she feels like she can't breathe, she pulls away; his brown eyes meet hers, and she lets out a low breath of air, bring her hand to his cheek.

"I don't regret this," she whispers, because really, what else is there to say?

That was amazing.

I've never felt like this before.

I think that I may be in love you.

"Neither do I," he murmurs back, pressing one last echoing kiss to her lips. "You're amazing, GoGo."

A breathy laugh escapes her mouth. "You're not so bad yourself, Tadashi."

He takes her hand in his, fingers linking together as if they always had.

They get two weeks: two weeks of pure bliss, of waking up with him curling closely beside her, of fiery kisses and whispered gestures.

Then it all goes to hell because he's stupid and risky and only thinks of others above his own safety. She screams when the building explodes, his naming tearing from her lips, and she doesn't give a damn about herself. Tears are falling freely down her cheeks as the others surround her, distraught, but they didn't know. They never knew.

She holes up in her room for weeks after, refusing to step foot in the university. She can't bear to go and step foot in those halls where he'd walked, where he'd worked, where they'd come up with thousands of ideas for projects that would never be finished — never be started, for some of them. GoGo knows that Hiro is suffering too, but the thirteen-year-old boy hadn't known about her and his brother. It was too late now.

And when she's standing at his grave days after the funeral, all cried out, she feels like she can't breathe because her heart feels like it's shattered into a thousand pieces and her chest feels like it's cut in half, she can't help but think, why?

She never even told him she loved him.

GoGo chokes back a sob.

Please come back, Tadashi. Please.

Well look, I'm crying again. Help.