Side chapter: 13.5 part 2

What does it mean to be sane?

Alexandra ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, avoiding obstacles in the night as well as the guards trying to catch her. 'Shit' she thought, trying to go faster. 'They found out...' she jumped, landing on one of the branches and concealing her presence. She watched as many guards ran past her, shouting for her to stop. 'Tch...stupid idiots' she thought. She unconsciously held the folder in her arms tighter, eyes looking back at the Vongola mansion in the distance, the image of a smiling blonde appearing in her mind.

'Takeyoshi-sama' she thought, eye's softening the slightest. She gritted her teeth, trying to keep the tears from falling. The memories of his smiles and loving touches sent her to a spiral of emotions. She wanted to die. She felt so guilty. She betrayed Takeyoshi's love for her and spied on his Family. She bit her trembling bottom lip, eye's closing in pain. 'Why did this have to happen now?' She looked up at the dark sky glistening with stars, the picture of a betrayed looking Takeyoshi appearing again. His eyes filled with so much hurt and pain. 'Why does this always happen to me?'

Every single time she finds her happiness, something else comes along and finds a way to slowly torment her and strip her happiness and joy off her. It pained her so much. Excruciating pain was all she could feel. It was more than horrible. It was so indescribable.

'Neh, Alex...Did you know that tears are the only thing to express the pain you are feeling when words cannot describe it?'

That was what Takeyoshi said when he saw her crying last night. She was in the maids quarters, her own room actually because of Takeyoshi. She couldn't sleep last night because of her mission. She had to kill Takeyoshi by the end of the week, and that only leaves her two days. Killing the one person most important to her for the sake of the family that brought her up...She couldn't choose. She couldn't choose between them. Despite her boss being ignorant and cruel, he brought her up and fed her. He took care of her when her parents abandoned her, and that was something she would eternally grateful for.

However, Takeyoshi gave her the love and family she always desired. He gave her everything she always wanted in life. It may be simple for others, thinking 'Then pick the damn boy! He gave you what you wanted, didn't he!?' But for her, there are many people she considered important in her family as well. It's like picking between your kind and graceful mother and strict and cold father that still loves you. It was a difficult decision.

But what pushed her to betray Takeyoshi? Her boss, That's it. Her boss found out her little 'affair' with Takeyoshi and how she hesitated on killing him. He ordered her to betray the boy and kill him, or else he would do something else much worse.

Alexandra had a look of pure frustration and confusion on her it karma's payback for defying Vongola? Was it God's punishment to her for betraying her love's trust? If so, then why?

Why couldn't she suffer by herself? Why did Takeyoshi have to suffer with her?

She laughed humorlessly but quietly as well. 'I guess that's what I get for letting my selfishness get over me'

A sudden beep interrupted her musings. Her eyes quickly turned sharp, face devoid of any emotions as she fished out a phone from her front pocket. "Boss" she greeted without any trace of emotions.

'Has the target been killed?'

Alexandra winced. No, she didn't kill Takeyoshi. She couldn't.

"No. Deepest apologies boss. But my position has been revealed before I had the chance"

That technically wasn't a lie. She was aiming to kill Takeyoshi before her deadline. But Vongola found her identity and she was forced to retreat.

'Hmm...I understand. However, did you get the necessary information?'

Her eyes hardened, clutching the folder in her arms tighter.

"Affirmative. Permission to strategically retreat before continuing mission?"

'Permission granted. See you at base. I wish you well'

beep

Alexandra glared at the phone clutched in her hands, wishing it would self-destruct. 'You wish me well...I wish you hell'

She sighed, pocketing the phone before looking around her surroundings. She searched for an escape route, nodding to herself once she saw a space between the two tress in front of her leading to the west gate. 'Where no one thinks I'll be going'

It was true. With the direction she was running to earlier, most guards would assume she would escape using the front gate. The Vongola was to her left, the front exit was at her right, and the west gate of Vongola was right in front of her. It was far, quite a distance, but it was one that no one would think she would use. After all, it was the gate closest to the Vongola mansion in where you could clearly see an intruder escaping or intruding.

But...Her eyes moved below her. More guards came pouring out and running in the direction of the front gate. 'They're pretty stupid'

She looked left and right, waiting a few minutes until the coast was clear before climbing down the tall tree and running towards the the west gate.

'I'm sorry, Take-kun'

Do people chose to lose their sanity?

Takeyoshi looked outside his office window, twirling a kitchen knife menacingly. His eyes caught his 'love's' running figure.'Oh? She's running towards the west gate? What a surprise!' he thought sarcastically. He chuckled silently, approaching his desk and slipping a hand underneath it. When he felt a hidden button, he pressed it, a secret compartment popping open and revealing a belt buckle. Smiling wickedly, he licked his lips and grabbed the belt buckle full of knives varying in sizes. He strapped it on his waist, grabbing his mantle to prevent anyone seeing the knives and strides out of the room. 'Time for some torture' His expression crazy and filled with the lust to kill, before turning into one filled with regret and sorrow.

A guard was waiting outside, his expression full of sympathy for the heir. He bowed respectfully to Takeyoshi, silently cursing the woman for betraying the boy in front of him. "Takeyoshi-sama, I'm sorry for your loss. She wasn't worth your time anyway"

Takeyoshi smiled ruefully, patting the guards shoulder. "Thank you, Albert. I appreciate your effort in trying to make me feel better." he replied sadly, silent tears falling down his face.

Albert's , now the dubbed guard, expression hardened into one of determination. He straightened his back, clearing his throat. "Orders, sir"

Takeyoshi smiled bitterly. "Capture her. I want her alive, okay? Don't hurt her too much" The guard nodded, walking away and thinking that Takeyoshi was showing mercy.

Once the guard was away, his bitter smile faded and a feral smirk replaced it. His eyes burned fiery amber, alternating with it's usual sapphire colour. 'Yes...Don't hurt her too much. Because I want her skin to stay unblemished...Before I destroy it'

He turned his head towards the window, tilting his head as the corners of his mouth reached his ears showing his sharp teeth. Strands of platinum blonde hair shadowed his right eye, making him look menacing. His free eye followed the tired form of his 'lover'

'Alexandra...You naive bitch. I have you wrapped around my finger, and you will surely suffer'

Were they given a choice, or were they simply born and raised like that?

Alexandra ran to the west gate, expecting it to be filled with very little guards. What she didn't expect was a whole army of them surrounding her from all sides, pointing a gun to her head, arms, and legs. She froze, silently cursing her mistake. 'Shit...I messed up' she thought, looking around for any escape route. 'I need to escape'

One man stepped out of the shadows, holding a gun and pointing it at her. "Alexandra Moretti. By orders of Vongola Decimo, you are to be capture alive. Surrender, Now. The Decimo does not want you hurt any further, you should be grateful. I however, am not like a Saint like him. He said not to hurt you too much, but he also gave permission to use any means necessary to stop you."

Alexandra flinched evidently. She tried to hold the tears in, pain and guilt crushing her insides. 'Take-kun ordered them to capture me, but not to hurt me?' She clutched her aching chest, stumbling back. The guards tensed at her action, but made no move to shoot.

Alexandra looked at the small ring on her finger. A ring that she received from Takeyoshi the day he told her he loved her. Ironic how that was only a few days ago.

It was a beautiful ring. It was simple but there was a special meaning carved onto the gold ring. It said [このつみぶかい世界,あなたのぜっきょうはただのエコー] around the rim of the gold ring. She assumed it was some kind of quote about love. Alexandra knew it was in Japanese, the mother tongue of Takeyoshi. Inside the ring, the words [Ti amo] was engraved beautifully in cursive writing.

It brought a sense of warmness to her heart, but even that feeling did not help reduce the feeling of foreboding in her guts. She felt one of the men hit her neck, rendering her vision blurry. And before she could lose her consciousness, she saw Takeyoshi. However, he was different. His eyes were different and his lips moved. He mouthed two words that made her blood run cold.

Found you...

Alexandra felt her eyes open abruptly, the sounds of chains clicking resounded in her ear. She felt tired and worn, she couldn't feel her limbs. Everything, she felt weak. Her vision was filled with white spots that prevented her from seeing anything else but darkness. She blinked her eyes multiple times, trying to make out her surroundings as she turned her head to her right.

Nothing but a dark abyss greeted her, nothing but darkness that seemed to pull her in. Alexandra wanted to sleep, the darkness was lulling her to sleep and she wanted nothing more than to rest. She wanted warmth, her family, and most of all, she wanted Takeyoshi.

'W-What happened to me?' She thought, looking around. Seeing metal bars in front of her, she snapped out of her thoughts. The severity of the situation finally dawned upon her as she remembered the events that happened before she was knocked out. Her vision flashed, the image of a sinister grin on Takeyoshi's face greeted her while mouthing words that caused her blood to run cold.

"F-Found you?" She whispered under her breath. Her eyes showed nothing but fear and confusion. 'Was that really Takeyoshi?'- The sinister grin with sharp teeth replayed in her mind. Alexandra closed her eyes shut. 'No, it can't be him. Takeyoshi isn't cruel' she denied in her mind, again opening her eyes and taking a peek at her surroundings.

Nothing but metal bars met her and a flashing green light in the distance. 'W-what in the world?' She squinted her eyes trying to get a better look on the glowing object. But it was no use; the object was too far and it didn't reach her peripheral vision. She sighed. 'Might as well get closer. Besides-' her eyes narrowed. 'I need to escape if I want to live'

She shivered, the aura of her surroundings finally weighing down on her. It felt cold, too cold. Everything felt dead and it scared her. Nothing felt right. Everything felt wrong. It felt like she was wrapped around eternal death waiting for light to penetrate through, but it was for naught because everything screamed 'death'

'I need to get out' With that thought, she started walking towards the bars, ignoring the load and chains the binds her with the wall. She only stopped when she felt the chains pull her back, but it was just in time to see a glimpse of the object. Alexandra's eyes widened in horror, her breathing quickening and her body trembling at the site of the thing-No, the site of the person in the object.

"T-Takeyoshi-sama?" She unconsciously breathed out seeing a small glimpse of the figure's face. No, it was impossible. How could Takeyoshi be in the glass object when she was sure he was in the outside world all this time. It's impossible, absurd, ludicrous. The person in that glass display couldn't be Takeyoshi, it couldn't be him...could it?

"Hmmm? You saw him, huh?" A deep ominous voice reached her ear. She snapped her head towards her right, the sounds of chains clinking again as her caramel eyes met another. There, in his mighty glory was Takeyoshi grinning insanely while leaning against the metal bars, his head tilted backwards just enough so Alexandra could see the unpure, corrupted evil lurking in his amber eyes. The screams and souls of agony of people burning and suffering amid in his dirty amber eyes that reminded her of blazing fire that continues to be set ablaze for eternity.

She felt her heartbeat increase. Yet not for the same reason it did whenever she saw Takeyoshi; not for love nor for admiration, but for fear. She felt nothing than pure fear for her life. She did not know who this person was in front of her. She did not know who the real Takeyoshi is. She did not know who her heart was captured by. All she knows is that even if she did know who the real one is, Takeyoshi's love for her was nothing more than a mere illusion.

Sensing her inner turmoil, Takeyoshi turned towards her. With the speed of light, his hand cupped Alexandra's neck from inside the cell, gripping it tightly until the young woman turned paler than a sheet of paper. He smiled with insanity, bringing the girl's face closer and ignoring the sounds of pained cough and pleas choking out of her mouth.

"P-Please l-let go of m-me..."

The sinister smile on Takeyoshi's face did not die, instead, it became broader as his grip became painfully tighter to the point where Alexandra could feel air being compelled out of her lungs and white, hazed spots entering her vision. She looked at him pleadingly, shakily raising her hands and grabbing Takeyoshi's wrist in an attempt to pry the hands choking her. "L-Let go" her voice was barely above a whisper, her vision disoriented and a piercing shrill invading her hearing.

Takeyoshi's sinister smile vanished and replacing it was one full of love and warmness. Yet, despite the illusion of his 'warmness'-No, it was not an illusion, with what little strength she had, ignoring the sense of nausea overtaking her, she turned her head towards the glass tube behind Takeyoshi. Her eyes pricked and she felt her heart get stabbed a million times, finally knowing part of the truth.

Before losing consciousness, Alexandra heard five words that shattered her whole being.

"I am your greatest mistake"

'Takeyoshi's love was never an illusion...It was only ever directed to someone else, not her'

Alexandra woke up feeling chains wrapping around her body, enveloping her legs, arms and waist. They were wrapped around her in such a way that one would think she was a caged animal. She opened her mouth in an attempt to speak, only to choke as she found herself unable to move her mouth. 'W-What the?' Her eyes looked down and as they did, they widened considerable from seeing the chains placed in between her teeth.

'Fuck'

"I see you're awake" Alexandra snapped her head towards the voice, glaring defiantly as her auburn eyes connected with crystalline sinister ones. She bore her eyes through him, conveying the message that she could not say. 'Monster'

This only served to rile Takeyoshi up. His smile became broader, insanity oozing out of him. He chuckled ominously as he approached Alexandra who is still rendered immobile. The chains were wrapped tightly around her hands which hovered above her head. Same goes for her lower limbs.

"Come on now, don't look at me like that..." He sarcastically stated. A hand lashed out from underneath his cape and Alexandra felt pain accumulating at the lower half of her face. Her breathing fastened feeling Takeyoshi's lifeless hands bringing her closer to his face which twisted into a snarl.

Alexandra felt fear again. She felt fear rising up in her chest and filling her whole body until she herself knew that she was quivering uncontrollably in Takeyoshi's grip. Her eyes watered, feeling tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she stared pleadingly at Takeyoshi, silently begging him to let go.

However, it did not seem like he took notice. Either that, or he ignored her plea. Alexandra believes it to be the latter.

Takeyoshi neared Alexandra's face, enjoying the fear that radiated from her very being. A sudden thought popped up in his head, inwardly smirking as he slowly released his grip on the poor girl. He reached into his cape, gripping two objects and silently turning to face the chained girl, an insane grin on his face. "Yes...don't look at me like that"

Alexandra feeling herself being relieved of the tightness around her jaw sighed in relief. It seemed that Takeyoshi had taken pity on her and decided that she was not even worth his time. It pained her so much, but she knew that she had fallen for the wrong man. A man that had been stripped of his sanity, a man that was broken beyond compare, and a man so psychologically messed up it sent shivers running throughout her whole body.

She had experienced so much pain within the last twelve hours. It had definitely passed the pain she had experience all her life. Being abandoned by your own kin, she could handle. She didn't give a flying fuck about her parents. Being abused repeatedly, she could handle. Being scorned and hated all her life, again, she could handle.

However, her heart being stolen by the one she should have never fallen in love with, spending her time with him in which both created special memories which she treasured so much, being confessed to in less than a few days from the very person she thought she could never be together with and to receiving her love's utmost affection and care; she had loved every single moment of it that it broke her heart. The young man she had fallen in love with had completely disappeared and instead- she opened her eyes, looking at Takeyoshi who seemed to be in deep thought- had been replaced by someone else she did not know. In less than a week, she had her heart shattered by the person she hoped to be together with. Not only that, but the fact that she had been played with, toyed with, and how gullible and naive she was broke her heart even more. It was so painful.

However, the next seconds did not help her prepare for the pain she would feel the next moment. A blood-curdling scream erupted from her mouth as she felt two stabbing pain from her eyes. Her vision darkened and all she could see was red. All she could feel was burning pain. She felt her sanity slowly slipping away from her and she desperately tried to cling on to it. Yet, she could not suppress the second shrill coming out of her mouth as she felt two metal rods being removed from her eyes. But the second it was out, she felt the same, painful sensation of two metal rods in her eyes.

"Gahhhhh!" she all but screamed. Yet the chains muffled all her sobs and pleas for Takeyoshi to stop. For him to stop this pain. However, she felt his next words stabbing her harsher than the metal rods in her eyes. She could not see Takeyoshi, but she knew if she did, she would see a maniacal smile on his face that spoke volume as he repeatedly stabbed her eyes over and over and over and over again

"Better yet, do not look at me at all. We should get rid of those filthy eyes. You do not deserve to have his eyes you disgusting bitch."

Warm liquid slid down to her cheeks, filling her mouth with the taste of iron and momentarily choking her. She sobbed and cried, hoping that the pain would stop. She knew that she would never be able to see again. She knew that she would not get out of this alive.

Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Wh-

"Hah~I want to paint you in beautiful red." she heard again. She could not contain her fear but she could not move her body at all. She can't fight back and she's vulnerable. She felt cold hands trailing down her hips and onto her thighs. She slightly shivered, feeling her blood pumping loudly in her brain. A sudden tug startled her, wincing as her bottom made contact with the solid ground. A slight shift in movement alerted her and cold lips brushed against her ear.

"I want you to count from one thousand. Each time, I want you to take seven away from your previous number. For example-" Takeyoshi straightened up slightly and grabbed the chains binding her mouth, burning it using his flames. Alexandra felt intense heat and she screamed. "Ahhhhh!"

Takeyoshi smiled, nearing her ear again and whispering into the appendage. "What's one thousand minus seven?"

No, No, No, No, No

"Well, You can talk now, can you not? I'll ask again, What's one thousand minus seven?"

Alexandra shook in pain, fatigue and fear. She wanted to rest. She wanted to escape. She wanted to return to the days where she had never fallen in love. She wanted to turn back time so bad. A cold metal pressed against her toes. It was sharp and she felt her heart beat faster and faster. In fear, she obeyed what Takeyoshi wanted her to do.

"N-N-Nine hundered n-ninety t-three...N-Nine H-hundred eighty f-five..."

What were the purpose of these numbers?

Takeyoshi grinned madly, bringing his hand down and slicing the girl's toes without mercy. Another shrill echoed within the room and yer, he smiled nonetheless. "Continue"

I don't know...

Alexandra felt her toes detaching from her feet and more pain came upon her. "Continue" Yet with that one command, she continued in counting backwards form one thousand.

"N-Nine hundred s-seventy e-eight...Nine hundred s-seventy o-one"

Takeyoshi told me to count backwards staring from one thousand...

Alexandra felt her second foot's set of toes detaching from her feet as she screamed again in pain. But again, she continued.

"N-Nine hundred s-sixty four...N-Nine hundred f-fifty s-seven"

So I did without knowing it's purpose...

Takeyoshi cackled, placing his set of knives against Alexandra's fingers and detaching them after. Blood sprayed everywhere, yet he paid it no heed, eyes still a dirty amber.

But later on as I felt more of my limbs getting detached from my body...

"N-Nine hundred f-fifty...N-nine hundred f-forty three..."

Slice

Stab

Crack

Thud

I began to realize why Takeyoshi made me do this...

Slice

Stab

Crack

Thud

By counting backwards from one thousand...It was keeping my concentration on it instead of the pain I was feeling...

sliCe

StaB

CrAck

THuD

Holding onto these numbers...

"Ahahaha, More! More blood! You filthy bitch!

"Nine h-hundred t-thirty six...N-Nine h-hundred twenty nine..."

Was the only means to keep me sane...

Alexandra could feel nothing else. All her sense were numb. She cannot see, nor smell, nor taste. Everything was not functioning and her hearing was the only sense that she had left.

"Neh...Did you know, Alexandra...The ring i have given you?"

Of course she knew. She remembered it clearly. It was a reminder of the suffering and pain that she is experiencing right now. How could she forget it?

"In my language, you read it as 'Kono Tsumibukai sekai ni, Anata no koe wa, tada no eko desu.' Do you know what it means?"

No, no she did not. She did not understand Japanese. But wasn't it not a quote that shows his affection? Though Alexandra could not see him, she knew he was smiling again. The same smile that she had given her while he broke her very being.

"It means 'Your voice is nothing but an echo in this unforgiving world"

What does it mean to be sane?

Do people chose to lose their sanity?

Were they given a choice, or were they simply born and raised like that?

Alexandra knew the full answer to that of course.

People become insane not because they chose to, but it was the only choice they had

After all, one person's craziness is another person's reality.-Tim Burton

Hey Lads, sorry for the late update! I know I was meant to post this a little over two weeks ago, but I accidentally deleted it and I had to write it out from memory so that's why it took so long. When I read the reviews, i felt warm that all ye people are showing so much support and how much ye lads want me to update the fuck already! I'm sorry for being late and I hope you could forgive me! And I'm sure most of you know where I got the one thousand minus seven part from. It is from Tokyo Ghoul and for those who did not watch it yet, I recommend you to watch it! the graphics are phenomenal! Also, the Japanese translation is not right! I only used Google translator!

Reviews are much appreciated as well as constructive criticism! Love ya all and See ya next time! Ciao~