In which Mako reflects on his lot in life…and his exes:

The first time Korra groaned, Mako hardly registered it. He felt so off about the whole day: scrambling to rescue Wu, fighting with Korra at every breath. This moment of peace in Asami's mansion was turning out to be as awkward as their conversation in the restaurant. It wasn't like he expected the reunion to be all rainbows, but the day hadn't even been close to what he'd imagined. He was struggling to find something to talk about that wouldn't result in Korra or Asami snapping at him (or each other). Or just ignoring him; he'd felt that most keenly all day.

The second time Korra moaned, all thoughts rushed from his head. Mako felt his neck flush, and he slowly turned his eyes. The sound was downright lewd, and Wu snickered quietly next to him, apparently thinking the same thing.

Korra was stretched out on the padded couch she was sharing with Asami on her back, completely relaxed. Her booted feet hung off the edge of the couch, and her head lay in Asami's lap. Asami was engrossed in moving her fingertips against Korra's scalp. When the heck had they positioned themselves that way? Did Asami just ask, Hey, Korra, want to put your head in my lap? And Korra: Sure, Asami. That sounds like a fantastic idea!

"That…" Korra murmured huskily, raising her eyes to look up at Asami in a way that made Mako distinctly uncomfortable. "That feels really good."

"I aim to please," Asami replied in a tone of voice that was anything but casual. Korra smiled while she gave a slow blink, and Asami's smile softened as their eyes met and held.

A head massage? Now? They'd had close calls that day, had shouted at each other all of a minute after they were reunited, and here they were, acting all cuddly. Girls.

"Huh," Wu said quietly. "Guess I was barking up the wrong tree."

Mako's trance was broken. "What?"

"Hitting on those lovely ladies. No wonder they weren't interested. They dig the fairer sex too." Wu waggled his eyebrows.

Mako's brain slowly turned over that astonishing statement, and he couldn't quite make himself believe the implication. "You don't mean…"

"They are totally banging."

Korra gave another long moan and shifted closer to Asami. It was innocent, completely platonic. Anyone would be pleasured…platonically…by a scalp massage. Wu got a face massage at least every week—okay, bad example. But there was no way—

He looked at Asami. Her face was flushed, her lips parted, and her eyes were completely focused on Korra's face. As Mako watched, Asami's eyes flickered to Korra's breasts and back up again. Korra's hand reached up to brush the inside of Asami's wrist and remained there, loosely clasped.

No way.

There was simply no way. He'd had sex with Asami, several times in fact. And it was pretty good sex, especially that bout right after they'd moved into her father's mansion. Then again… Mako's buried doubts crept in: Asami crawling into his bed in complete darkness at night, fucking him almost angrily, and leaving before he could offer to extend her pleasure. Probably, he thought now, to spite her father. He wasn't an idiot; he'd wondered it before but never had the courage to admit it to himself.

And Korra… She'd never been all that interested in physical intimacy. At least not the sexual kind. They kissed, snuggled, hugged, even made out, but when Mako reached the point of wanting to take another step, she'd never been quite in tune with him. He'd thought it was just because of her naivety. For all he knew, the White Lotus had left off the sex part of her education. Except she'd been pretty crude and explicit in comments she'd made, and she knew way more than was comfortable about the mating habits of polar animals. (There was one conversation about polar bear dog pseudopregnancies that Mako wished he could erase from his brain forever.)

But that didn't mean that Korra was a lesbian. Or Asami. No way. They'd both been in love with him at some point, and he couldn't deny that he loved them both still. He had held out some quiet hope for Korra—because in his imagination, they didn't fight quite so often and Korra actually needed him in some capacity—and Asami was still a gentle temptation.

Korra shifted in a slow, unconscious motion. One of her legs opened and her foot turned out as she arched her neck. She was… That was definitely sexual. Asami's chest was rising and falling more noticeably now as her fingers made a mess out of Korra's hair.

"Shit," he whispered.

"What do you mean 'shit'?" Wu asked gleefully. "That is so hot. Lesbian foreplay. And we're free to watch. You have no idea what kind of mileage I'll get out of this scene."

"And that's just disgusting. Have a little respect!"

Wu shrugged. "Don't pretend you won't."

"I dated both of them!" Mako hissed.

Wu's eyes widened, and he leaned into Mako. "You dated Asami Sato and the Avatar?" Whatever expression Mako's face had twisted into made Wu take a softer tone. He reached out to pat Mako's shoulder. "I'm sure it wasn't anything you did."

Mako tried to think of something lofty to say. The only thing that came to mind was: "Next time sometime tries to kill you, you'll have to fend for yourself."

That didn't exactly strike fear into Wu's heart. "Sure, Mako. Think you can share the love with a scalp massage?"

Mako smacked Wu's insufferable face with a newspaper and stomped off. As he passed the two women currently tormenting him, he snapped, "Get a room, you two!"

In hindsight, that was probably the worst advice to give them.

-end-

AN: Poor Mako. This is kind of a joke piece.