"All fleets: the Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point." Hackett's voice ordered.

Two years and some change before an order like that, Joker might have actually obeyed the Systems Alliance's most decorated and respected general, but the memories of Shepard being spaced right before eyes were still raw enough to leave him drenched in sweat after night terrors. "Guess again, sir," Joker muttered under his breath as his arms continued their frantic dance of piloting the Normandy in the midst of the unchecked Reaper invasion of Earth. When he unexpectedly felt a hand on his right shoulder, his arm automatically swung back and pushed away Javik's hand, but not before something flashed across his mind-

"-Joker," Shepard begins calmly as the Normandy is literally breaking up around them-

-The hell? Joker thought as he broke contact with Javik. Momentarily reminded of the Prothean's ability to access other's experiences through touch, Joker silently prayed that Javik hadn't witnessed his flashback, but Javik's momentary recoiled suggested otherwise. His mind and body instinctively returned to keeping the Normandy airborne as Hackett continued to give orders-

"I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of there!" Joker felt the Prothean's three-fingered hand rest upon shoulder again, but instead of swinging back again, more memories of the Normandy SR-1's last minutes came rushing to the forefront of his mind and brought his arms to a screeching halt as Javik's voice and Joker's memories blurred together-

"There is no choice-" Javik began-

…"we have to get out of here," she orders as all occupied evac shuttle jettison themselves away from the Normandy, which is burning up and set for a collision course with an unknown planet-

"No," he answers, almost pleading with her-

"-we-"

"I won't…"

"-must-"

"…abandon…"

"-go."

"…the Normandy…"

"Now."

"I can still save her."

Shepard forces what she can of her upper body between him his console. "The Normandy's dead-" she snaps-

Just like us if we don't get the hell out of here, he finishes as the flashback ends. Except it's not Shepard practically losing her shit beside him, it's a battle-hardened Prothean gently reminding to him to heed Hackett's orders to save not her-

-Her usual authoritative, commanding tone vanishes and becomes something more…unsteady. "No matter what happens here…you know I love you." Her hand immediately goes to the scarred side of the turian face, and Garrus reaches for it with the arm not around Vega. "I always will-"

Joker shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the memory of what should have been a private conversation between lovers, not a rushed exchange in the middle of a battle. He looked down at his clenched fist and debated taking a swing at Javik, because he was reasonably sure Prohty the Prothean was about to clamp down on his right forearm and yank him out of seat soon, but no, more memories-

"Shepard, I…" He leans into her hand and covers with his own, her green eyes locked onto his rare turian blues, "…love you too," he finishes as she steps away, but doesn't break eye contact or release his grip on her.

Once more, the Reaper stares down the Normandy and makes it's terrifyingly familiar sound of warming up it's main weapon. "GO!" she orders as she turns and continues to sprints towards the beam-

Do not make the same mistake twice, Joker, Javik's mind seemed to whisper as he dropped his arm from his shoulder, and the surge of foreign memories receded until Joker was left alone with his.

There and then, the real reason for Shepard's evac order dawned on Joker as Garrus' words to Shepard came back to him: Humans want to save everyone. Somewhere along their journey, Shepard figured that this pertained to the entirety of the Normandy

"Damn it."

Hating himself and everything that had brought him to this point, he reluctantly lifted his arm to the FTL controls and dragged them to the right. As he did so, he looked out at the crucible on the Normandy's starboard side.

I'm sorry, Commander, he pleaded as the Crucible shrank into the distance.

I'm sorry.

Always knew that damn Mako would be the end of me, Garrus thought as Vega and Cortez half-dragged, half-carried him across the shuttle bay and towards the elevator where an anxious Dr. Chakwas stood waiting. Hell, how many hours had he spent repairing and recalibrating the one on the Normandy after Shepard's multiple counts of vehicular homicide against geth? (Granted, he'd been more afraid of her tendency to drive helter-skelter over anything and everything, but eventually he'd learned just to hold for dear life as soon as they hit dirt, asteroid, or unsuspecting alien life form.)

Don't kid yourself, Vakarian. You needed that tank to distract you from those other…thoughts…that took up residence in your mind during your first tour with Shepard…speaking of which, where'd she go?

"Hey Scars, you still with us?" Vega asked as they reached the elevator.

"Unfortunately," Garrus mumbled as the doctor flashed a light in his non-visored eye. Garrus turned his head away and saw Chakwas swiftly execute the same test on Vega.

"His pupils are bit sluggish…goodness, Garrus, what hit you?"

"M-35 Mako, ma'am," Vega answered, "Damn near crushed us first, then exploded…"

It exploded? Why don't I remember that?

"…the commander came back to check on us…"

She turned back?

"…and when she saw Scars, that's when she ordered Joker to come pick us up before she continued on..."

WE LEFT HER BEHIND? Garrus reached out to the two elevator panels in front of him. Whose bright idea was it to put two of these things right next to each other? He tried to hit the one on the left, but all he hit was air. The hell? He reached out again, this time aiming for the one on the right…and missed.

"Keep him still, Mr. Vega," Chakwas instructed as she tapped at her omni-tool and waved it over Garrus' head. "I suspect he's experienced a rather severe concussion that I'd like to take another-bloody hell," she muttered. "Irregular breathing, slow rate, increasing blood pressure…"

"Memory loss, confusion…" Cortez added causally as Garrus made a third attempt to change the direction of the elevator. Missed again? Seriously, what's wrong with this elevator, and why don't these three do something about it?

"How bad is he, doc?" James asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chakwas mouth something, and a quick consult of his visor's vitals readout didn't look good either, but he'd been damned if he was going to let something like a little concussion prevent him from returning to the fight…

"I'm fit for duty," Garrus grunted through his dizziness. "Come on, Jimmy," he continued as he began to drag his reluctant supports towards the doors, "She can't do this alone." Just as he reached the door, the elevator finally came to stop and the door retracted. With his head now spinning, his stomach churning, and his vision becoming more and more hazy, Garrus jerked himself free and stumbled forward right into-

Ash? Caught off guard at the sight of an unexpected crewmember, Garrus tried to sidestep her and go-where?,but physics, blood loss, and slowed reflexes combined and sent the pair of them slamming into the Normandy's memorial wall, with Garrus' head striking the wall first and knocking him backwards down to the floor…and for once, staying still with his eyes closed for a few moments didn't feel like such a bad idea-

Ashley Williams-

"James? What the hell happened to you two out there?"

-when the pair of them hadn't been protecting Shepard's six on the ground during their Saren-tracking days, he spent his off-hours working on the Mako-

"Scars here caught the worst of the explosion-"

-while she shot him hostile glares from across the room, which eventually cumulated in her directly questioning Shepard's decsions-

A barely audible exhale from someone. "She didn't want another Virimire…damn it, Commander…" Ash sighed

-to allow "the aliens" (specifically, him and Wrex) access to the Normandy's systems-

"-failure if we don't get him to the med bay to relieve-"

-he could still recall how he'd held his breath in an attempt to overhear Shepard answer:

"I can see where your concerns are coming from, Williams. But this is a multicultural mission. You're going to have to work with aliens, like or not."

Ashley glances at him at the other side of the room, but with what looks like less hostility. He figures that she knows he's overheard most of this conversation, so he quickly looks back down at his console in an attempt to make his eavesdropping less obvious, which, apparently, is just as frowned upon in human culture as it is with turians. "It won't be a problem, Commander," she answers respectfully. "You say "jump," I say "How high?" You ask me to kiss a turian-"

Garrus snaps his head up again. Surely she didn't just say-

"-I'll ask which cheek."

Yes. Yes she did. He involuntary flicks his mandibles at her while he focuses on keeping his cool, and the last thing he needs to do right now is make eye contact with Wrex, who may or may not know Garrus' true feelings about the love triangle of the upper decks…not that it's any of his business, the commander is perfectly entitled to relieve stress however she pleases-

"I don't think kissing turians will be necessary." The commander's tone is all business, her tone devoid of all humor.

"You never know, Commander," Ashley finishes causal raise of her eyebrows. Now he knows she added that last part this to, as the humans say, "screw with him."

The commander hesitates for just a moment before answering, "Dismissed…Chief."

"Ma'am," Ashley responds. With their conversation complete, the gunnery chief leans back on her weapons bench and crosses her arms across her chest while the commander does an about-face and briskly makes her way toward the elevator with a acknowledging nod towards Wrex and Garrus himself. Both return the the nod, but everyone waits until the elevator returns to the second floor before they anything further about what's transpired, and even then, it's a few second of the turian glaring at the krogan, who's trying to conceal that toothy krogan shit-eating grin of his-

"Hey Vakarian," Ashley calls from across the room, "If you're not too busy pretending to fix the Mako, I could use some help fixing Shepard's-"

Shepard… At the memory of her name, the last bit of adrenaline left in his system forced him to open his eyes and return to the present, and when he did, he felt himself floating above the ground and staring at his legs, to which he reacted by thrashing about-

"-shit, I think he's coming around again-" Vega cursed from above him.

Garrus momentarily paused and looked up in the direction of Vega's voice head up and quickly realized what was going on: Vega and Ashley had been carrying his top half while Cortez carried his legs. With a growl at Cortez, Garrus quickly tried to curl himself up in a ball (Cortez responded by immediately releasing his grip) and attempting to stand up on his own…which required practically crawling up a wall to support himself, but he fairly sure that was just a minor detail-

"Easy there, Garrus…" Ash said from behind him. "You're hurt. We're just trying to help you."

"I'm fine," Garrus gasped again, his head pounding as he turned and took a few unsteady steps while using the wall for support.

"Bullshit," Vega responded as he grabbed hold of Garrus' shoulders and slammed him up against the wall hard enough to deform his crest and leaving what he suspected was a turian-shaped imprint in the wall.

Garrus reflexively narrowed his browplates, flicked his mandibles, and glared at the idiot human who'd invaded the now stim-fueled turian's personal space. "Let. Me. Go," he growled as he bared his teeth and struggled against Vega's unnaturally strong grip…or maybe he'd never really noticed it before…

"No can do, Scars," Vega answered as Garrus felt a sudden, sharp prick and burning sensation in his neck. He automatically tried to reach up and grab it, but Ashley and Cortez each grabbed an arm and pinned them back against the wall with the rest of him. The hell?

"It would be very unwise of you to turn your head right now, Mr. Vakarian," Dr Karin Chakwas's voice commented from his side. Garrus heard the click of a needle sliding back into it's protective sheath and the distinct smell of dextro tranquilizer wafted under his nose.

Stealth sedation attack by Chakwas. Can't say I ever saw that coming, Garrus thought as the warm haziness began spreading through his brain and down his spine. He tried to struggle, but his body seemed utterly unresponsive to any commands. As his body relaxed, the other three humans released their grip while Vega and Ashley each took one of his arms and draped it over their shoulders to support him.

"You have about a minute before that takes full effect," she added as she turned around and headed back towards the med bay. "Lieutenant, I'll need you to remove his visor before I can proceed with his surgery."

"Yes, ma'am," Cortez and Vega answered in unison as the sound of her footsteps faded away.

"You…" he rasped heavily as Cortez came face to face with him, their foreheads inches away from each other. You don't understand, he wanted to say, but it was all he could do to not give himself over to the fog trying to overcome him. Damn it, didn't he understand? Hadn't he lost someone he loved in this war too?

"Yeah, yeah, you're pissed at all of us. Can't say I blame you," he answered, avoiding eye contact as his hands found and depressed the release button on the rear his visor, and the constantly scrolling text he'd become so accustomed too slid out of his field of vision, and for the first time in living memory, Garrus found himself sans visor it in front of the crew…and once more, he felt nothing where he thought should have felt uncomfortable.

"But, Shepard…" he gasped once as he attempted to pull himself away from Vega again.

"Garrus…" Cortez answered as he gently gripped Garrus' head and turned it to face his, his blue eyes brimming with tears and his voice wavering just slightly less than Shepard's minutes ago, "Believe me, I know…and I'm… sorry."

Long ago, Garrus had learned that much could be gleaned from human by watching the area around the eyes, and in his brief remaining moments of consciousness, he saw something of his own pain reflected in his fellow crew mates expression.

Shepard… he thought as his mind finally slipped into the deep depths of unconsciousness.

"EDI, status report, and what the hell is going on out there?" Joker demanded as the Normandy's external as the external camera showed an image of said mass relay exploding.

"It appears that the activation of the Crucible has triggered some sort of energy release that is currently being transferred to the mass relays," EDI responded calmly.

"Yeah, I gathered that, but why the hell did the relay just explode?" he asked as a red energy released began expanding outward from the destroyed relay.

EDI hesitated. "I do not know, Jeff."

And I don't think I want to, Joker thought as he turned back to his console. "Well, we're not staying around to find out," he answered as he ignored the flashing red lights telling him he was pushing the engines past their recommended levels. "Divert all power to the engines, we're getting the hell out of here!"

"Jeff, the engines, electrical, and internal heat sinks systems are already-"

"I DON'T CARE, EDI," Joker snapped as sparks began flying and Jeff waved away the second warning that told him the engines were operating far beyond a safe capacity. He glanced up at the external camera. Despite traveling at faster-than-light speeds, the red energy wave was still hot on their their heels, and a giant had gash had opened up in it's center.

Shit, Joker thought as he forced himself to focus on managing the Normandy's quickly malfunction systems and not the sparks and flames burning behind because he'd finally pushed their battle-damaged electrical system. He switched to the external rear cameras again, which now revealed that not only had the gash in the center had gotten larger, but it was about to swallow the Normandy in it's center.

"Jeff, engines have reached critical failure-" EDI reported as the heat and pressure of the explosions began to rock him out of his seat. Inertia dampener failure, he thought.

We're.

Fucked-

Many thanks to the lovely professionaltsundere for agreeing to beta this insane little venture of mine!